I am so on a roll~! I'm finally getting somewhere with this! Enjoy, and please comment^^
Chapter 11
I sulked in my chair. Class didn't even start for another 15 minutes and I had no idea why I decided to come to school so early…I wouldn't even have crawled out of bed this morning if it wasn't for the maids… I told myself that I wouldn't go to the host club in fear that I'd have to even stare at Kyouya's face. Did I say I loved him before…? I'm not so sure anymore…
"Kiari!" the twins called from the door. I didn't even look at them.
"Did everything get to your house Kiari?" Haruhi asked quietly, obviously noticing my dreadful demeanor and I nodded stiffly.
"We um…heard you had a fight with Kyouya…are you…going to come to the club today…?" Hikaru asked with voice full of worry and emotion. I sighed.
"I don't want to and have to look at that sorry face of his," I growled and dropped my head into my empty palm. Haruhi stooped down to my eye level and cocked her head.
"You don't even have to look at him, and if you get into trouble, we'll be there for you. At least I will. Come sit with my guests and I and you don't even have to look at anyone else but me. Please come today, we can clear things up. If you run away it will never get solved. Please…"
"Do you even expect me to act like some fake happy, cheery, carefree girl? Fat chance," I adverted my gaze. Hikaru and Kaoru ran over to block the nothing I was staring at.
"PLEASE!" they whined in unison. I head desked.
"FINE! I will go, but only for you, and if crap happens today, I'm never showing up in that music room for your club ever again!" I gave them all a hard stare, but they weren't fazed, and they smiled in relief, giving me a hug I didn't really want.
Today was the flower viewing party at the club. I wouldn't have known if I stepped into the music room and the twins weren't waiting for me already dressed in their waiter outfits. They changed me into a multi - layered and colored kimono: pink, sunset orange, yellow and green, held together on my body with a soft white ribbon tied into a large bow complimented with flats unseen by the garment that flared out onto the floor. As they walked me to the court yard they were holding the reception, they tried their hardest to cheer me up even though they said my sad eyes looked absolutely cute and walking around like that would attract someone, but I didn't really want company today, I just wanted to be alone by my own will for once. So here I stood under a large Sakura Blossom tree that almost concealed me completely right next to a Koi fish pond. It was rather calming. Albeit, my mood reminded me too much of the song I was learning; "Badbye" by Kuma'n. No matter how much I restrained myself, I couldn't help but sing quietly to myself.
"Holding hands with a girl form the past. Walking like friends on a road glorified. The other girls' companions are changing today, like always. Is that a happy kind of life? My life is just…right, because because I am always single minded, isn't that great?" I paused to listen and see if someone was coming near and continued when all was quiet.
"A sense of achievement I've forgotten, feelings of affection I've lost, and the only thing I can rely on is my past self. Ah… I'll sing a song to stop history from my own my own left wrist. I'll sing, I'll sing a red, red song while the tears of my heart have become droplet's. But what is falling is this star," I paused again; all clear.
"History has been carved, and I've become alone. How much has the world changed since then? Although I can't let go of this hand. Don't say such foolish things. This is a lonely kind of life. I'm not satisfied with it at all. But but up until now I've understood why. It's because I don't want to change, even though I've stayed the same. This whole axis has changed, but it seems like I'm the only one who's changed. I'm looking at this world I hate from my own, my own two eyes. I'll sing, I'll sing a blue, blue song while my real tears have become droplets, but is falling - it's ironic that what I hate is the one and only birth of my life I desired in an assured place…" I hummed to myself a little the instrumental, still not hearing anyone behind me.
"I'll sing a song about the me that I hate from my own, my own cold throat. I'll sing, I'll sing a black, black song while my real words have become so sharp. So have a look at what they're piercing. I want to run, I just want to run from my own, my own, my very own body. I'll scream out a red, red song. I'm cutting my real self from myself, and falling with this star on this planet all alone," I sighed, kicking my foot lightly at the grass and knelt down to look at the water. "How much I want to do so; say foolish things only to fall away all alone. You don't have to worry about anything but natural selection and evolutions…cannibalism…climbing up the food chain and having kids, living a nice life in this water…" my talking to myself made me smile solemnly, running my fingertips through the water that made the fish scurry. "I really want to run away from all this…I wish this never happened…not about reuniting with the boys…but all of these things that have occurred in the club…I wonder what would have happened if I was just a customer…"
"Things wouldn't be the same obviously, silly girl," Tamaki's voice answered my verbal thought and my head whipped around to see him beginning to kneel down to sit with me. "I heard what happened."
"Of course you did. No secret can stay secret…"
"That's not what I'm trying to get at Kiari. I haven't been giving you attention like all of us should equally. Kyouya…crossed the line yesterday taking you home. I spoke to him, and he realizes that. He was a little upset for some reason, we were all a little worried that we couldn't find you yesterday," he chuckled lightly, "Kaoru remembered that he promised he'd come back and spend time with you by the piano and saw you asleep in the corner. Have you been getting enough sleep Kiari…? We ended early so that perhaps it'll help you regain all the lost hours of shuteye." Tamaki reached over and rubbed my back, scooting closer. "I don't know if you heard us but Haruhi and I heard you singing and the other hosts came over to listen. That wasn't a very happy song…it was kind of like…a suicide letter in song form… They aren't here now but Kaoru said he apologized to you. You also…actually let them dress you?"
"I um…well everything is pretty self explanatory I guess…I was too numb to change into this. I didn't really want to be here…Kyouya…scared me with how he acted in the car…and…he upset me so much I felt as if….that if I were to see him I'd punch him in the face even though I know I couldn't bring myself to do it. It's tearing my heart apart at how much I wish this would all stop…" I covered my eyes. I was just so glad that Tamaki wasn't being over irrational and was being calm and listened contently.
"I'm supposing you have feelings for Kyouya?" he asked, pulling me towards him by the shoulders. I only nodded. "What was that song called?"
"It's called 'Badbye' by Kuma'n, and you're sort of right…hehe; it really is a suicide letter in a song, but it's a song I always sing when in some of my greatest turmoil…" I smiled solemnly, and then frowned again, "I'm afraid to talk to Kyouya, Tamaki…" I whispered, slowly lifting my gaze, lingering on little details of her attire and met his gaze, which matched my own.
"You'll be alright. I don't think we're holding the club tomorrow since the physical exams are being held and we may need to take a lot of time to try to find a way to make sure Haruhi's identity doesn't get found out. Would you help?"
"I don't know Tamaki…if the club isn't meeting I'm going to go home and do what you told me; sleep," we shared a laugh.
"You really should, it's not good to sleep on the job!" he pulled me up and dusted my kimono off. "You're going to have to get undressed yourself you know?"
"Yes, yes senpai,"
Tamaki lied to me. The twins pulled me to the music room right after changing for a meeting, but for some reason, I froze a millisecond as they ran into the room.
"Kiari…" Kaoru looked back at me. I unconsciously shook my head. Hikaru looked back too and smiled, shaking his head as he reach for me and grabbed my hand again, guiding me over to where the group was already walking, and Tamaki was….obviously day dreaming… The twins stood me as far away from Kyouya as possible and occupied me till the meeting started.
"Kai chan….?" Mitsukuni tugged on my sleeve. I smiled down at the boy.
"Hi Mitsukuni senpai," I hugged him. His wide eyes stared at me.
"Is Kai chan ok…?" I smiled knowingly with a smile and sat down. He sat with me.
"I'm better senpai. I haven't been feeling well lately but now I'm feeling a lot like myself again," I ruffled his hair, which made the shota giggle. Then I saw Takeshi get down on one knee, ruffling my own hair.
"Uhh…boss…?" Hikaru mumbled as Tamaki snapped out of his fantasy. "This is freaking me out." Tamaki looked at him.
"Jealous Hikaru? This is all part of my plan! While you were blinded by your jealousy, I have foreseen the outcome this charade. Obviously this anime is about a romantic school comedy and Haruhi and I are the main characters, which make us love interests!"
"So then what are we?" the twins asked cynically in unison.
"You all are the homosexual supporting cast!" he drew some line with a stick. "Please don't cross this line." he smiled triumphantly. I snickered and stepped across it and he stared at me blankly.
"I thought we had a moving conversation yesterday?'
"It had nothing to do with this or about me being a gay supporter in your imaginary cast," I crossed my arms and smirked.
"And boss…I don't think you get it…" the twins interrupted.
"Yea…if word gets out that Haru chan is a girl, she can't be in the club anymore," Hunny added.
"True true," I nodded. That did the trick for Tamaki; he turned to stone. And they kept going and going and going at Tamaki, "Yea…Haru and I are pretty good friends…perhaps I wouldn't mind becoming a homo…it'd create a dramatic threesome."
"You wouldn't…"
"Oh I would, just for you senpai,"
The door to the music room opened and in popped Haruhi's head, "Hey guys, sorry I'm so late, I had to get something.
"Don't worry Haruhi; we'll make sure no one will ever know that you're a girl during tomorrow's physical exams!" Tamaki grabbed her and got real close to her face. Moments later, Tamaki had whipped out a white board with a bunch of nonsense drawn on it. I didn't really listen to him since I opted out of trying to get Haruhi's secret to stay that way.
"Well, if word gets out there isn't really anything I can do about that hahaha!" she turned to me and it made me laugh too.
"Are you saying you hate this club!" Tamaki accused.
"To be honest….I kind of do…" I had to…kind of…agree. The two of us shared a nice laugh that I really needed when Takeshi muttered "Fancy tuna".
"Oh yes….fancy tuna…~ you didn't get to eat any during the party last time… Tamaki turned his head and his face was….OH MAH GOD!
"Oh yes…what a hard childhood not being able to try fancy tuna…." everyone was mumbling creepily and Haruhi and I exchanged glances.
"It's ok….I've tried it…..it's not that special…." I whispered to her.
"It's ok, I'm not like that going around trying to hide my gender just so I can try some fancy tuna…!" she paused. "…..Do I really get to try it….?"
I followed the twins down the hall to where the exams were to be held and looked out the window, but was bewildered from all the nurses and doctors awaiting the students. My oh my… I stood there with Haruhi for a moment, but not with exactly the same expression as Hikaru and Kaoru strode away with some nurses. This was a little impressing.
"Ms. Kagerou," a masculine voice asked inches away. I turned to him with a composed classy smile like how I'm supposed to in the presence of a new face.
"Yes sir, that is me, Kiari," he nodded and bowed to me.
"I will be your doctor for today Ms. Kagerou. I must say your work is very impressive; my daughter listens to all you covers and collects a majority of your work," he guided me to and empty space where stood a scale and other miscellaneous things.
"Thank you doctor; tell your daughter I said hello," I slipped off my shoes and he took my height and gestured for me to step on the scale as he scribbled things down on a file. From the corner of my eye, I saw Haruhi and Kyouya speaking and then looking at me. Obviously they could hear me. I kept my gaze up and right in front of me, standing tall as he took my weight.
"You've lost five pounds from what looks like your last physical a little over a year ago. It says you were home schooled and have no other records since you were about 6 that you've been ill. Although, with your lifestyle I am supposing, you should have actually gained some weight," he wrote this down and closed his file. I still felt their gazes on me, and now gazes of many others, and I smiled.
"I haven't been ill since I was six, which is correct. That was when Mr. Ootori's son treated me himself of my pneumonia. Although as of late I haven't been feeling like myself. I think it might just be the rush of entering a new learning environment sir," I explained and heard many 'oh my's and 'oh my gosh really?'s. My doctor nodded and smiled.
"Then let's get the rest of your measurements Ms. Kagerou," and he shut the curtains.
"Badbye" written and composed by Kuma'n, cover by Senka, translated by xxKMSakura