I slept well that night. No nightmares, no dying Spencer, no waking up suddenly. Just once, with a yawn, just before the sun came up. I left before Spencer woke up, kissing her on the forehead. I couldn't help it.

For the next week and some odd days, I was a phantom. The ladies working the night shift didn't pay any attention to me, letting me roam in and out of Spencer's room at odd hours of the evening and morning.

I didn't visit her during the day. She probably thought I was ignoring her, or trying to forget about her. It would have ripped me up inside to let her think that, but every night, I came to her bedside and saw her sleeping like a baby. And it helped me not feel so bad.

It's the only place I can get a good night's sleep. Kyla doesn't ask me where I go, I think she knows. I also am sure she knows not to mention this to Spencer.

In everyone's eyes, I was a ghost. I hardly spoke to anyone, and now that school was over, I had nothing to hold me back. Some days I would go to the beach, but that reminded me too much of Spencer.

Sometimes I drive my the Carlin house. More often than not, there isn't anyone home. I guess they're busy people, but it's sad to see the house empty.

Most time, though, I sit in my room and yell at anyone who knocks at the door.

Like now, for instance.

"What?!"

"You have a visitor." My Mother says in her stern way.

"No, I don't want any girl scout cookies."

"It's a Carlin."

I rip my headphones off. "Cute, blonde, blue eyes?" I demand. Spencer? Why the heck would Spencer be here?

I fling my door open. "Very cute." My Mother tells me, and I give her a questioning look before throwing myself down the stairs at full speed.

Glen Carlin is waiting by my front door, looking a little ticked off.

"You aren't Spencer."

He just blinks at my disappointed tone, and I hear my Mother chuckle behind me and excuse herself.

"Listen, don't think I want to be here." He says, as if that had to be mentioned.

"What do you want?" I cross my arms.

"It's what Spencer wants."

I try to sound casual. "Ah, what..what does she want?"

"She wants you to stop being a bitch and come back to visit her."

"She said that?"

He rolls his eyes. "Yes, Spencer called you a bitch."

I make a sad face.

"No, you idiot. Of course she didn't. She told me to come get you to see her, and managed to use the words 'love' and 'girlfriend' like, eleven million times." He sounds like he hates to be relaying this message.

"She said I was her girlfriend?" I pipe up hopefully.

"I didn't take a transcript!" He says, annoyed. "Just...she's about to get released, and she's convinced you hate her. And I don't want to see her like that." He gets serious. "So you come visit her and tell her whatever she wants to hear, you got it?"

"Well, maybe I'm not ready."

"Ready for what?"

"We had a fight.." I say lamely.

Glen sighs dramatically. "Oh, you had a fight. A fight, how terrible!" He mocks me. "Get it together, seriously. And get over yourself."

He leaves me standing there, turning on his heel. So Spencer wants to see me. I thought I would be the first one to break, honestly. I definitely didn't think she'd want to be anywhere near me.

Once again, I was wrong.

I mull this over all day. Kyla knows something's up, but I ignore her meaningful glances. So of course, she's waiting up when late in the night rolls around, waiting to see what I'll do.

"Where are you going?" She puts her book down.

I take my hand away from the doorknob, "Out."

"Out where?"

"To do stuff."

She narrows her eyes, trying to figure me out. She's gotten good at it lately. "What, do you have a new girlfriend?"

That flusters me "What? No, I don't - I mean, if I wanted to, but...Spencer, you know...we're kind of..well, I don't...really. Um, no."

Kyla tries not to look so amused. "Tell Spencer I said hi."

I glare at her, letting out a breath that turns into a sigh. "We never talk." I say glumly, opening the door and disappearing into the night.

The nurses tell me she's to be released in two days. I'm a little surprised, but she has been looking healthier. From what I see in her sleep, anyways.

I lower myself into the chair, for once, not feeling really tired. I watch the steady rise and fall of her chest, fighting the urge to reach out and touch her somehow.

I don't think I have that right, even though I still consider her mine.

"They told me you'd be here."

I jump up, startled to the point of heart attack, and fall out of my seat, flat onto my back. "Ow."

"Get up, Ashley."

I do, standing awkwardly at her bedside. "Hi."

"Where have you been?" She sounds a little angry, her eyes shining in the dark.

"Around..."

"Ten days." She lets me know, as if I haven't been counting, too. "Ten days I've sat here, waiting for you to come so we could make up."

I don't meet her eyes. "You sent me away."

"Ten days."

"You said awful, horrible things and made me leave. How was I supposed to come back after that?"

"How could you not?" She whispers, and it makes me feel about an inch tall.

I hang my head. "I'm - "

"Don't say you're sorry."

"I...I feel really bad?" I say instead.

She sighs at this. "Come here."

I stand there, motionless.

"Ashley."

I look at her, finally.

"Come here."

I sit down in my chair and she reaches an arm out. I place my head gently in her lap from my sitting position, and she strokes my hair. "This time, I'm sorry." She tells me, and I can feel her fingers dance on my scalp. I lose myself in her touch.

"It's okay."

"It's not. I - I was angry. I had to lash out at someone, and you...you made a good punching bag." She traces my outer ear with a finger, making me shiver.

"I deserved it. You had every right to...do everything you did." I say, closing my eyes as she runs her fingers along my neck, my jawline. "Every good couple has to have a rumble every now and then anyways."

I can feel her stare at the back of my head. "Everything you said was the truth?"

"The things I said that weren't bitchy, yeah. Every single word." I promise.

I hear her let out a breath. "It didn't feel right when you weren't around."

"Yeah?"

Her fingertips tickle my cheekbone. "I miss touching you." She says softly, making my breathing hitch.

I turn my head around, so I'm peering up at her face. "I'm right here."

"I know."

I look at her for a split second more, and she flicks a piece of hair from my cheek. I sit up and lean forward, my face inches from hers.

"I'm right here." I say again.

She just nods this time, looking expectant and nervous. We're so close, our noses brush each other.

Spencer licks her lips. "I feel like..."

"What?"

"Remember our first kiss?" She asks hesitantly.

I smile at her, glancing down at her lips. "I'll never forget it."

She rests her forehead against mine. "Ash?"

"Hm?" I bring my hand up to caress her cheek. She closes her eyes dreamily against my touch.

"Kiss me?"

I let my hand slide down her face gently until I'm holding her chin, guiding her lips to mine. I close my eyes and press our lips together, every nerve ending on my body responding by exploding in tingles.

It's a familiar kiss, and it's something we both needed. When we pull apart, we know this isn't a promise of anything to come, and it's easier knowing we don't have to define it.

My lips are still buzzing when I pull my chair close to her bed, lacing our hands together. "My sweetheart." I murmur.

She sighs contentedly. "You know, I dreamed about you every night."

I smile in the darkness. "Yeah?"

"I usually have nightmares, but...I just dreamed of you. Kissing me right...here." She points to her forehead.

I kiss her fingers, deciding not to tell her the truth. I like to let her think I can protect her anywhere, even in her dreams, too.

"It's like you were almost here with me."