(A/N) THIS CHAPTER IS FINALLY DONE! I'm sooo sorry it took this long to update, I've basically been in hell since the last time I updated this story (I don't even remember how long it's been – that's how bad this is). But yeah! Knuckle's second chapter is upon us! I hope you enjoy it, since I made you all wait so long!
Thanks for reading!
Knuckle had made up his mind. As he settled in the room of Cozart's mansion that he shared with Lampo, he promised himself he would forget about Alaude. He would stop crying, he would stop pitying himself, and he would stop telling himself he couldn't live without the cloud guardian. He could; he didn't need someone in his life who didn't love him.
The sun guardian had always had to carry the relationship over. He had worked so hard to get past his religious conflicts, to find a loophole that would allow him to have a relationship with another man. He had abandoned his old room, where he could be around people (one of his favorite past times), to live with Alaude. He had given up his job as a priest. He had always been the one who memorized Alaude's mood patterns to know how he was supposed to act depending on Alaude's emotional state. He had adjusted to every single one of Alaude's habits, while the leader of the CEDEF had never tried to give up anything for Knuckle. He was extremely tired of always thinking about that un-caring, selfish, cloud guardian…
At least that's what he continued to tell himself. It would take more to convince his heart.
Sighing, Knuckle looked up at the ceiling. It was hard enough for him to fall asleep at home, let alone in some stranger's bed. It just felt so empty, so cold. He missed the warmth of Alaude's strange sleeping positions and his unconscious nuzzles. Knuckle had discovered the proud cloud guardian did have a soft side; he had just never seen it outside of Alaude's sleep.
Knuckle growled as he violently thrashed onto his side. He refused to think about that man any longer! God was probably disappointed in him enough as it was; there was no reason to push his luck. He'd already been forgiven more than he deserved.
While struggling vainly to fall asleep, the sun guardian heard his roommate slip out of bed. Curious as to what the teen could be up to, he casually turned onto his back and gazed forward. Lampo was pulling on pants, to which Knuckle discreetly adverted his gaze. Sure, they were both males, but it was strange to watch someone dress. It brought back too many memories of weird things the ex-priest would rather forget. It was making him uncomfortable just thinking about it.
Abandoning his weird thought process, Knuckle resumed his watch as Lampo, fully dressed, slipped out of their bedroom. He could only ponder on what the reckless teen could be doing at this hour. They had already explored nearly the entire mansion earlier, which had exhausted Knuckle more than he thought was possible. He wondered how kids had so much energy. He wondered when he had lost that energy.
Suddenly feeling extremely old, the sun guardian turned onto his stomach and buried his face into the pillow. He hoped sleep would come soon.
The door opened again, but Knuckle didn't move since he assumed it was Lampo coming back. Strange how the teen would bother to put his pants on when he had only been outside for thirty seconds.
However, Lampo did not come back to bed.
A chill crept up Knuckle's spine at the thought that there was someone (or something) in the room with him. Knuckle was a very superstitious man; he believed that spirits with unfinished business lurked around in the mortal world, haunting all that got in the way of whatever they were set out to do. What if Cozart had inhabited the mansion of a depressed millionaire who had committed suicide because his wife would have affairs in the very room Knuckle was in now?! What if his spirit lurked in this room, cursing anyone who set foot in it because he assumed they were suitors to his wife?!
Suddenly a weight settled on the other end of Knuckle's bed, making the whole mattress sink down a little. The sun guardian leaped out of his skin.
"I-I-I-I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! I'M INNOCENT!" Knuckle screeched as he yanked his pillow to his chest and whipped around, cowering against the back of the bed as he awaited his fate.
There was no ghost. No spirit reaching for his neck with an icy grip. Instead, Alaude sat on the other end of the bed, eyes slightly wide in surprise, but otherwise blank of emotion. As Knuckle's rapidly beating heart began to slow, he felt extremely embarrassed. A light blush dusted his cheeks as he realized how silly it was to think a ghost was haunting him.
But then it hit him. Alaude was here! The man who had torn out his heart and stomped it into the ashes of where their shack used to stand. The man who he had loved for two years. Knuckle averted his gaze; he had nothing to say to this man. Not anymore.
"Did you think I was a ghost?" Alaude's voice was deep and quiet, the rich tone of it sending, against his wishes, a shiver down Knuckle's spine. The sun guardian shoved his face deeper into the pillow. He didn't appreciate Alaude's teasing at such a tender moment.
"What do you want?"
"You're not happy to see me?" Alaude's eyebrow rose.
"What?!" Knuckle threw down his pillow, sudden anger flushing his face. How dare Alaude pretend like nothing happened?! Why to the extreme should he be happy to see a man who had tossed him away like dirt?! Knuckle was sick to death of playing Alaude's stupid games. "I'm happy not to see you!"
For a moment, pain flashed across Alaude's face. Though he tried to hide it, Knuckle knew him well enough to know it had been there. He had struck home; though a small part of him hated to admit it, it felt good to lash back at the cloud guardian. He had been in so much pain for the last week that it was about time Alaude got what he deserved.
"Do you really feel that way?" Alaude's eyes met Knuckle's.
The sun guardian hesitated. He almost gave in; of course he didn't really feel that way. Love like what he felt for Alaude would never just go away. Even then, his heart was aflutter with his close proximity to the other. He could barely stop himself from reaching out and stroking the cloud guardian's cheek. But he didn't. He refused to let Alaude back in and wait for him to do the same things over again. Knuckle raised his head, but couldn't quite get himself to meet Alaude's gaze.
"Yes. I never want to see you again. Leave me alone." Knuckle felt his heart break.
Silence. As Knuckle raised his gaze, he was shocked at the level of raw emotion on Alaude's face. The cloud guardian's expression reflected anger, but also deep levels of pain; the sun guardian had never seen so many uncontrolled feelings on Alaude's face before. Knuckle felt his heart break again. He opened his mouth to take it back, to say that he loved Alaude and wanted to hold him in his arms again, but the cloud guardian was already standing.
"I see."
Alaude turned his back on Knuckle and, without another word, walked out of the sun guardian's life.
Knuckle felt hollow. What had he just done? He held out his hand, as if that would keep Alaude from leaving, but the cloud guardian was already gone. As the sun guardian fell back onto his bed, and Lampo quietly sneaked back into the room, Knuckle had only one thought.
Had he pushed away the only love he would ever have for good?
Knuckle barely slept that night. Regret and longing consumed his entire being until he felt he was going to explode from the pressure of it. When had his life become such a mess?
For a short amount of time, it had been perfect. The best times of his life had been when he and Alaude could escape from the others and have a quiet picnic up in the hills somewhere. He could still remember the first (and last, now that Knuckle sadly thought about it) time that Alaude had told him he loved him. It had been quick and quiet, but it had been there, and the sun guardian couldn't place his finger on a time when he had ever been happier.
But now that was over. And it would probably never happen again. Knuckle had pushed Alaude away, and he knew the proud cloud guardian would never come back and risk exposing his emotions again.
He had lost his chance.
Knuckle decided right then and there he would never love again. He would go back to the priesthood and live out the rest of his lonely life helping other people with their lives and their connection with God. Maybe then he could redeem himself from the sin of being happy.
At least Knuckle had forced himself to stop crying. He would prove to his whole family that he would be okay, that they didn't have to worry about him anymore. He would pull his own weight, and he would never show how much he was hurting. He would keep his love affair in the past and focus on the present. He would survive and remember how to live.
Sitting up in bed, determined to give a morning prayer before he faced the world with his new outlook, Knuckle felt the bandage on his nose start to peel. With a sad smile, he remembered when he had started wearing the bandage.
"How is it that you always manage to hurt your nose?" Alaude scoffed as he applied a fresh bandage to Knuckle's hundredth nose scab of the week. There had been a sudden increase in street crime threatening the streets of Italy; Knuckle had been on more missions in the last week than he had in his entire mafia career. And, every single time, he had injured his nose.
"It's an extremely puzzling mystery, isn't it?" Knuckle laughed before sending his lover a teasing smile. "Maybe if you extremely kiss it, it'll feel better?"
"Maybe you should put a bandage over your mouth, too," Alaude snapped, but he wasn't angry. Humor danced in his eyes, and, despite what he'd just said, he leaned forward and placed a small kiss on Knuckle's nose.
"Maybe I should just wear this permanently. Then I can get a free kiss from you all of the time!" Knuckle hummed. He took the role of bandages from Alaude as the cloud guardian sat still for his turn to get fixed up.
"You wouldn't last a day," Alaude replied cynically.
"Watch me."
Ever since that day, Knuckle had always worn a bandage on his nose. Though it hadn't always given him the free kisses he'd hoped for, it did protect his nose from further damage and broke him from the curse of always injuring it somehow. The memory saddened him now, but it was too much of a habit to just stop.
Pushing the memory from his mind, Knuckle pressed down on the bandage to get it to stick again and got out of bed to pray.
"Knuckle, I would like to speak with you."
The sun guardian looked up from his breakfast to see Giotto hovering at his side. It was the second week that the Vongola had stayed at Cozart's house and Knuckle was beginning to wonder if they would ever leave. Not that he had too many complaints; the house was beautiful and the food was great. He was just getting a little tired of sleeping in someone else's bed and Cozart's failed attempts to not be awkward around everyone. Despite that, the ex-priest enjoyed himself. He had been able to avoid Alaude nearly the entire time, and he had even brought himself around to eating with the family again. Giotto no longer had a reason to worry about him, so Knuckle had no clue why his boss would need to speak with him specifically.
"What about?" Knuckle responded, a piece of bacon dangling from his mouth. He was eating so much these days after he'd regained his appetite.
Giotto hesitated. He seemed nervous about something, and he scratched at his hair impulsively as he spoke. "Do you remember a girl named Sepira?"
"Sepira?" The name rang a bell. "Isn't she the one who's not human, or something extreme like that?"
"Yes," Giotto smiled. "I'm glad you remember. That will make this a lot easier."
Knuckle eyed his boss. "Giotto, spit it out already! You're making me extremely nervous."
"To tell the truth, I am nervous." Giotto sighed. "Sepira contacted me last night. She sounded worried and tired, telling me that she wanted to meet up so that she could give me something. The fact that she is worried about anything makes me very nervous."
"What does this have to do with me?"
"I want you to come with me." Giotto smiled. "I would appreciate it if we had someone who knew how to pray if we needed to."
Knuckle smiled at Giotto's attempt at humor. "You don't want anyone else to go?"
"G and Ugetsu are too busy trying to find a place where we can rebuild our base, Alaude is too busy running the CEDEF, Lampo is still only a child, and Daemon has not forgiven me enough for me to trust him in such an important mission. I hope you don't have any complaints."
Knuckle stood up. "Not at all! When do we leave?"
"As soon as possible."
Knuckle was sharing Giotto's nervousness by the time they reached the place where they were supposed to meet Sepira. His boss had informed him on the way that Sepira's species had been on Earth before even humans and that they were extremely important to the balance of life on this planet. The fact that anything could be wrong…
"Are we early?" The sun guardian asked, scuffing the toe of his shoe into the dirt. They were on temple grounds, and yet the dirt was thick. Just what lazy person would leave dirt on a sacred temple?!
"I don't think so…" Giotto paused as a light shimmered from a few yards away.
Out of the light came a small, lithe girl who didn't appear to be more than twelve. She had dark green hair and light blue eyes, with a smile that seemed to warm everything around her. On top of her head sat a giant white hat with black stripes on either side of it, lined with thinner gold stripes, and a gold tassel on one side. She wore a white and black kimono with long sleeves and a small orange flower dotted her right cheek.
"Sepira!" Giotto rushed over to meet the girl. "It's so nice to see you again."
"Giotto… Are you doing well?" Sepira touched Giotto's cheek in a friendly manner before turning her attention to Knuckle, who was hanging back awkwardly. "And Knuckle! It's nice to see you again as well – though you probably don't remember me."
Knuckle rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "I'm afraid to say I don't. I know your name, but had extremely forgotten your appearance."
"No matter; you were quite young when we met."
"Sepira…" Giotto's concerned voice drew the girl's attention back to him. "Is everything alright? Why have you summoned me?"
The girl's smile vanished, like the coming of winter. She stepped back from Giotto, looking down at her feet as her brow furrowed with concern. Knuckle wondered off-handedly if that's the way he'd looked when he had been depressed.
"Things are not alright. My race is dying."
"What?!" Giotto exclaimed in shock. "But how?!"
Sepira shook her head. "No one knows. One day we were fine, the next my kin was dying at an alarming rate. Even if we tried to discover what could be causing this, I fear it would be too late."
Knuckle stared on in shocked silence as Giotto hung his head, his fists tightening in what Knuckle assumed to be despair. How could Sepira's race be dying? Didn't the balance of the world rely on their survival? Was this preluding the end of the world that had always been prophesied?!
"Is there anything we can do?!" Giotto shouted suddenly, looking up desperately. "I refuse to sit back and let you die!"
Sepira smiled warmly at him. "That is why I called you here, silly. There is nothing you can do about my eventual death, but I wanted to give you these." Sepira reached into her kimono and pulled out a small, black box. When she opened the box, Knuckle and Giotto could see seven rings with crystal-like shapes on top. The rings were each a different color: orange, red, blue, green, yellow, purple, and indigo.
"Are these - ?!" Giotto inhaled sharply.
"Yes. These are part of the Tri-ni-set, the device that maintains the balance of this world. They also guide the growth and development of all life, which is why it is vital that you protect these." Sepira handed the rings to Giotto.
"Why are there only seven?" Giotto sounded confused as he accepted the gift. "And why entrust them to me?"
"As our race died off, the power of the Tri-ni-set became too powerful for us to control. We split it in three so that the power could be manageable to humans – the guardians of them from now on," Sepira stated as she stepped back from Giotto. She tilted her head cutely to the side. "And I give them to you because I trust you, Giotto! You're the most honest human I've ever met, and your Family has a natural tact for staying alive!"
"Well, then, I thank you, Sepira. I will guard these rings with my life." Giotto smiled at her as he opened the box of rings. Taking the orange sky ring, he slipped it onto his finger and closed his eyes in concentration. Almost immediately, a giant, strong flame burst up from the ring. Giotto jumped back, as if surprised, as Knuckle gaped in astonishment. His boss had… just set his hand on fire!
"G-Giotto!" Knuckle cried out, rushing to his boss' side.
"Oh, Knuckle, I forgot you don't know about the flames that run inside everyone!" Giotto laughed before he looked into the strong flame and spoke again, this time to himself. "This power…. It took almost nothing to set it off…"
"They are more powerful than any other rings you will encounter in this world," Sepira piped up, "besides the other sets in the Tri-ni-set, of course!"
"Sepira, is it possible to split these rings in half?" Giotto said suddenly.
"Huh?" The girl blinked at Giotto. "Why would you want to do that?"
"The power in these rings…. I fear it will be too strong for humans to handle. I trust my Family, but I can't speak for future generations. There may come a time when the Vongola isn't worthy enough to wield the full power of the rings. I would feel better if the rings were split – even half as powerful, they will be amazingly strong."
Sepira stopped to think for a moment. "If that is the way you feel, Giotto, then that is possible. Who do you have in mind to guard the other half of the Vongola rings?"
"Have you heard of the CEDEF?" Giotto replied, seeming to have already given the whole thing immense thought. Knuckle was impressed, even as he cringed at the reference to his ex-lover. "It was founded by my cloud guardian, and is a secret intelligence agency that I trust to never reveal to anyone the secret of the rings. As far as anyone will know, the half rings will be the whole rings."
"And you will even trust future generations of the CEDEF?"
"Yes. Keeping secrets is their job."
Sepira nodded. "Then that is enough for me. I will do as you ask."
Giotto nodded in satisfaction as he slipped the sky ring off of his finger and put it back in the box with the others before giving the whole thing back to the girl. Sepira took it and closed her eyes in concentration. A strong, white light engulfed the box that blinded Knuckle; he had to look away. When he saw the light fade out of the corner of his eye, he turned back to see that there were now two identical boxes. When Sepira opened one of the boxes, seven smaller rings shone bright and proud. They were all a silver color now, but had different shapes on them: the Vongola insignia for the sky; a whirlwind for the storm; a raindrop for the rain; a lightning bolt for the lightning; a sun for the sun; a cloud for the cloud; and several thin clouds for the mist.
"Is that okay, Giotto?" Sepira asked sweetly.
"Perfect!" Giotto laughed as he took both boxes from Sepira. "I love your sense of design!"
"Thank you, friend." Sepira smiled warmly.
"Knuckle, I would like to spend some time to say goodbye to my dear friend." Giotto's voice was sad as he turned to look at his sun guardian. Knuckle soon deduced that this would probably be the last time his boss would ever see Sepira. "Will you take this box to Alaude for me? I'll keep the other one and distribute them later… Oh, though I guess you can have yours now!"
"O-of course, boss. I would be extremely happy to!" Knuckle lied through his teeth as he accepted one of the boxes as well as his own personal sun ring.
There was no way he wanted to have to talk to Alaude. He dreaded it already. But he couldn't just turn down his boss – not when he had trusted Knuckle enough to bring him to such an important meeting.
Knuckle trudged his feet as he left the temple and slipped the ring onto his finger. As he stared at the sun design, he sent a quick prayer up to God. Hopefully, with His guidance, the sun guardian would be able to avoid too painful of an encounter with Alaude.
Hesitating outside the CEDEF's main headquarters, Knuckle decided to test out his ring. The flame Giotto had created had been so EXTREME; he knew that God had given man the use of fire, but he never knew He had given them fire internally as well as externally. Losing focus on his surroundings, Knuckle clenched his hand in a tight fist as he tried with all of his might to force a flame out of the ring.
No flame appeared.
"For the love of God!" Knuckle muttered as he tightened his grip even more to try and get something to pop out of his ring. "Giotto made this seem so extremely easy!"
"That's no way to ignite a flame."
Knuckle froze, losing his concentration completely. In a split second, he had forgotten all about the ring and his internal flames. He knew who it was without having to look up; he would know that voice anywhere.
"I wouldn't know; I never knew about them until today," Knuckle replied defensively as he looked up into the face of Alaude.
His ex-lover was standing much closer than he expected, causing Knuckle to flinch back a little. It saddened him to realize that he was already uncomfortable with Alaude's close proximity. The sun guardian didn't know what to do then. He'd already forgotten about the rings and Alaude was saying nothing more, just staring at him with an unreadable expression that made Knuckle squirm nervously. Just what did he want from him?
"How did you know I was out here?" Knuckle finally asked stupidly.
"Giotto said you were coming." Alaude's voice was deadpanned, but a small smirk twitched on his lips when he spoke again. "And an underling saw you out here looking like you were about to explode; of course, he then brought it to my attention."
Knuckle's cheeks flushed. He'd hoped no one had been watching when he had tried to ignite the flame from the ring…. The ring!
"Oh yeah, Alaude, Giotto sent me here to - !" Knuckle shouted extremely before Alaude's hand slapped over his face and the cloud guardian pushed him up against a nearby wall, pulling them out of view from passersby on the street. Knuckle panicked briefly, wondering what ulterior motive Alaude had for pushing him up against a wall, before the CEDEF founder hissed at him.
"Are you an idiot?! Do you seriously not understand the importance of this mission? This relies on the secrecy of everyone involved. In other words, don't go shouting it across the rooftops!"
"Then you know about this already?" Knuckle muttered, struggling vainly as he tried to get Alaude to release him. Alaude was basically pinning him against the wall, and the lack of togetherness for so long was giving Knuckle a hard time controlling himself. No matter what he forced his brain to think, his heart and body were still acutely tuned to every inch of Alaude.
Luckily, before things could take a wild turn for the worst, Alaude released the sun guardian and stepped back from him. "Of course I know about it. What do you take the CEDEF for?"
Knuckle didn't reply, instead opting to focus on his breathing. His cheeks were flushed a little darker than he would have liked, and he hoped the shadows hid it from the cloud guardian in front of him.
He didn't want Alaude to know how much he really missed him.
Avoiding eye contact, the ex-priest shoved the box of Vongola rings at his ex-lover, finally speaking once he got his voice under control. "Here. Take these then."
Alaude hesitated for a moment before he stepped over and took the box from Knuckle. He stuffed it into his jacket before he suddenly grasped the sun guardian's hand. Knuckle had to bite hard on his lip to prevent himself from gasping in shock, wondering why Alaude would so suddenly show signs of affection.
That was before he realized, however, that the cloud guardian was relaxing the hand with the sun ring on it.
"You'll never spark a flame tensing up like that. Just let it flow naturally; you'll eventually get the hang of it." Alaude stared into Knuckle's eyes for a moment before he withdrew, turned around, and walked away.
Knuckle watched him go, wondering if his heart would ever stop aching with longing.