Jeanine stood at the edge of the bed and pushed her already soaked panties to the floor. Tris propped herself up on her elbows and watched her blonde lover pull the strap on harness from the nightstand. The brunette felt her heart began to race in her chest at the sight of the phallus and her stomach flipped nervously. Jeanine did her best to keep her nerves from showing as she stepped into the harness pulling it up her strong legs and adjusting the straps appropriately. Tris' mouth went dry and her pulse pounded in her ears as she watched Jeanine reach back into the drawer and coat the silicone phallus in a generous amount of lube.
Dropping the lube back in the drawer, Jeanine drew in a deep breath, steeled her nerves the best she could, and turned back to face Tris. She watched as wide brown eyes glued to the phallus standing erect between her thighs and she shifted suddenly slightly uncomfortable. Clearing her throat, Jeanine looked back and forth between the phallus and Tris trying to gauge the younger woman's reaction. "Are you okay," Jeanine asked attempting to read her lover's expression. She didn't want to upset Tris, but she also knew that it would defiantly take the younger woman some time to get used to.
Tris remained still taking in the view for a moment before falling back on the bed with an exasperated huff. Her mind raced with flashbacks and she closed her eyes trying to keep herself from reliving the horror of her past. She wiped her hand over her face and let out a low frustrated growl. Anger started to boil in her veins. It shouldn't be like this, she shouldn't have to be like this, it should be simple, easy… But it's not.
"Tris," Jeanine asked hesitantly, noticing Tris' sudden change in mood. Tris squeezed her eyes closed tighly. This wasn't just unfair to her; it was unfair to Jeanine, and for Tris, that seemed infinitely worse. She swallowed hard trying to prevent her voice from coming out harsh. "Just… Give me a minute please."
Jeanine's stomach tightened at hearing the desperation ringing in Tris' usually strong voice. She took another deep breath clenching her hands into fists at her side to keep from reaching out and touching the brunette. She didn't know exactly what Tris was thinking, but she also didn't want to do something that could trigger a PTSD episode.
Tris' cheeks burned hotly as she blew out a shaky breath between her lips. She drew in a deep breath in an attempt to calm her nerves. She rolled her head from side to side before finally opening her eyes to stare up at the ceiling. Her pulse began to slow and she did her best to let her mind go blank. Thoughts of the horrific night Tris had endured attempted to break through her resolve but she refused to let them. She rested on of her hands on her forehead and sighed in relief at the cool contact.
"Are you okay," Jeanine asked unsure, still standing at the side of the bed and carefully waching Tris' expressions. A smile spread across Tris' lips at the older woman's voice. There is was, rich and melodic as always; the voice of the woman she loved and Tris' heart swelled in her chest. A throaty chuckle escaped her thin lips and she rocked her head from side to side.
Jeanine stood in complete confusion; Tris was shaking her head no and laughing. Her head fell to the side and she furrowed her eyebrows together watching Tris laugh. A sculpted eyebrow arched when Jeanine silently wondered if her girlfriend was having some kind of psychotic break.
It was at that exact moment when Tris looked up from the bed to meet Jeanine's bewildered expression. She fell back on the bed in a fit of laugher at the scene. "BAHAHAHAHAHA!" Tris opened her eyes long enough to see the look still on Jeanine's face and she wrapped her arms around her midsection laughing hysterically. She reveled in the laughter; it felt good to just be happy, even if it was at Jeanine's expense for the moment.
"Tris Prior," Jeanine snapped, playfully smacking Tris on the calf and realizing she was the cause for Tris' laughing fit. Tris covered her mouth with her hand trying to calm herself and stifle her laughter. Jeanine shook her head and did her best to suppress a smile. The younger woman cleared her throat as she sat up on the bed within reaching distance of the blonde. She smiled at Jeanine who was still looking at her with a somewhat curious expression.
"Do I really look that funny with a rubber dick between my legs," Jeanine asked seriously doing her best to keep a bright smile from bursting across her face. Tris suppressed her laugh for as long as she could, "HA! Hahahahahaha!" She laughed again and Jeanine feigned offence. "Oh it's on now," She said tackling the brunette and starting a vicious tickle war.
Tris screeched with laughter as Jeanine relentlessly attacked her sides tickling her as fast as possible. For that short moment, everything seemed to fall away. There was no past history to worry about, no fears, no anxiety; it was just two lovers enjoying an evening to themselves.
Tris drew in several deep breaths when Jeanine rolled off of her ending the tickle war and catching her breath from laughing so hard. They relaxed together in comfortable silence staring up at the ceiling and catching their breath. Tris inhaled deeply and closed her eyes; she could do this, with Jeanine, she could do anything. A smile crept across her face and she felt courage build in her heart.
Without warning she rolled over and sat up so she was straddling Jeanine's abdomen. The blonde looked up and blinked rapidly at the change in scenery. A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth before spreading across her lips. "No," Tris said simply. Jeanine furrowed her eyebrows, "What?"
"No, you don't look funny with a rubber dick between your legs," Tris said glancing over her shoulder and then back at Jeanine. The blonde rolled her eyes with a smile and exhaled, "Oh gosh. Well thank you - I think." Tris snickered and planted her hands on either side of Jeanine's head. She lowered herself over the blonde brushing their noses together; "It's actually kinda sexy," Tris added her voice becoming low and sultry.
"Is that so," Jeanine asked letting her hands slide up the outside of Tris' thighs. "Mmmmhmmm," the brunette hummed brushing their noses together as she nodded her head in confirmation. Jeanine shook her head back and forth; causing their noses to kiss as their eyes met in a knowing gaze.
Tris let her eyes fall closed and leaned down pressing her lips to Jeanine's. A wonderful warmth washed through their bodies as their kiss grew in passion and fervor. Tris broke their kiss and lifted her upper body from Jeanine's, both women panting heavily with arousal. "I'm sorry," Tris said as a pang of guilt twisted her stomach. Jeanine shook her head, "No," Her voice was suddenly very serious. "You don't apologize for this Tris. You don't ever have to apologize for this." Tris bit at her lower lip, "I know, but-"
"Uh uh," Jeanine placed a slender finger over thin' lips, effectively cutting Tris off. "You don't apologize for this," She said again equally as serious. "I love you Tris Prior, the good the bad, everything. I wish that you didn't have to endure so many painful things in your life, but you have and you did. Life has thrown you one obstacle after another, but you never give up. No matter what, you keep fighting and you keep opening your heart to people even though it has been broken so many times. So don't apologize for this. Don't ever apologize for being yourself, especially not to me, because I love you for exactly who you are."
Tris released a shaky breath and blinked her watery eyes. "I love you," she whispered gravelly before crashing their lips together again. Jeanine relaxed into the kiss and opened her lips slightly to let the bruntte dart her tongue inside. Tris moaned appreciatively into the kiss and felt heat race down her back and form a knot at the base of her spine.
Jeanine's hands brushed over Tris' strong back before finding purchase in her long brown hair. She pulled Tris down deepening their kiss as her arousal grew. Tris unconsciously began rolling her hips against Jeanine's taut abdomen searching for that needed delicious friction.
Jeanine released a deep throaty moan into their kiss as she felt Tris' slick arousal begin to cover her stomach. She removed one of her hands from Tris' hair slipping it down between their bodies to meet Tris' heated core. Her eyes flew open and she gasped at feeling how wet Tris already was. Tris chuckled throatily and started peppering Jeanine's face with kisses. Tris' head swam with arousal when she felt Jeanine's skilled fingers slip between her already wet folds.
"Ohhh," Tris let out a rushed breath when she felt Jeanine make small circles around her hard clit. Tris closed her eyes at the overwhelming sensation and bucked her hips against the woman under her. Jeanine grinned salaciously. "You're so wet for me," She whispered into Tris' ear. Tris let out a wanton moan at Jeanine's dirty talk. "Yes," She hissed her arousal growing.
Tris spread her legs wider allowing for Jeanine to slide two fingers up and down her folds. The brunette shuddered in pleasure at the feeling. "J-Jeanine," Tris choked out in impatience. "Do you want to…?" Jeanine trailed off looking down between their bodies.
"Oh," Tris said in realization as she lifted her hips and looked down between their bodies to see the phallus still strapped to Jeanine. "We don't have to," Jeanine assured warmly. A smile spread across Tris' face at Jeanine's understanding words. She winked at the blonde playfully, "Let's do it."
Jeanine smiled and untangled her hands from Tris' body, cupping the brunette's face and pulling her into a soft yet passionate kiss. Tris sighed in relief into the kiss feeling any lingering hesitation leave her body in an instant. They broke their kiss both smiling softly and Jeanine let her thumb brush Tris' bottom lip, "I love you." Tris smiled as her heart swelled in her chest, "I love you too."
Tris lowered her head and placed a soft peck to Jeanine's lips before scooting back and adjusting herself over the erect phallus. Jeanine noticed Tris' hesitation and sat up quickly wrapping her arms around Tris' midsection. Tris looked down at her lover gratefully as a blush swept across her cheeks. "It's okay," Jeanine reassured meeting Tris' brown orbs.
Tris smiled when she felt Jeanine start to place delicate kisses over her chest. The blonde covered Tris' chest in kisses before darting her tongue out to make circles around pert nipples. The brunette's back snapped ram-rod straight when Jeanine wrapped her lips around Tris' nipple and sucked at it eagerly. Tris wound her hands through Jeanine's hair pushing the blonde into her breast and moaning in pleasure. Jeanine released the pert wet nipple with a pop before moving to Tris' other breast and repeating the process.
Tris' hips bucked uncontrollably into Jeanine searching for friction. Jeanine released Tris' nipple with an equally as loud pop her entire body now vibrating with arousal. She looked up and noticed Tris' eyes had darkened significantly with arousal and she lifted her chin encouraging the younger woman to kiss her. Tris caught on quickly and lowered her lips to meet Jeanine's.
Jeanine released her hold around Tris' midsection her hands running over Tris' lower back and cupping her buttocks in her hands. She massaged the firm cheeks in her hands eliciting a strained moan from Tris. "Are you ready," Jeanine whispered against Tris' collar bone. Tris nodded her head, "Yes."
"Would you like me to help you," Jeanine asked softly her voice filled with concern. "Yes," Tris replied again but softer. Jeanine let one hand fall from Tris backside to the phallus. She was pleasantly surprised that it still had a good amount of lube on it. Tris untangled her hands from Jeanine's hair wrapping her arms around Jeanine and pressing their bodies together tightly.
"Whenever you're ready," Jeanine breathed trying to keep her voice from shaking. Tris closed her eyes and drew in a shaking breath. She bit down hard on her lower lip and tensed her body before slowly lowering herself onto the awaiting shaft. Jeanine released Tris' buttocks and wrapped her arm comfortingly around the younger woman's lower back.
Tris winced at feeling the phallus push against her center. "Take your time," Jeanine encouraged softly, the emotional weight and intimacy of the moment not escaping her. Tris exhaled through her nose and bit down on her lip even harder trying to keep her past from ruining the moment. Slowly she slid down on the phallus until it completely filled her and her center met with Jeanine's fingers.
Jeanine sat in complete silence as she removed her fingers from the phallus and allowed Tris a moment to adjust to the feeling. She wrapped her arms tightly around the younger woman in an embrace; she knew Tris was fighting a mental battle. Suddenly Tris shuddered violently in Jeanine's arms and the older woman's heart raced in her chest. Tris' body shook and she started to let out quiet whimpers.
"Tris," Jeanine said unable to hide the alarmed tone in her voice. She leaned back slightly from the younger woman so she could see Tris' face. "Tris," She said again, but Tris continued trembling, "Tris open your eyes." Tears began to streak from Tris' eyes and Jeanine released her hold on the brunette's midsection to cup her face. "Open your eyes Tris," She said again with more urgency.
Tris slowly opened her eyes, blinking rapidly as her vision swam. "That's it," Jeanine encouraged, "Come on, you can do it." Tris blinked a few more times as she was pulled from her flashback and back to reality. "It's me," Jeanine coxed, "There you go." Tris' vision cleared and she saw the face of the woman she loved come into view.
Relief washed through her and her tense shoulders' slumped. She leaned into Jeanine's gentle touch against her cheek. She noticed the mixture of love and fear swirling in Jeanine's blue eyes. "Hi," She smiled weakly. Jeanine released a breath of air in relief. "Hi," She replied with a weak smile of her own. "Are you okay," Jeanine asked still concerned. Tris nodded her head, "Yeah, I'm okay now."
A smile tugged at the corner of Jeanine's mouth and she pulled Tris into a sweet and chaste kiss. Tris deepened the kiss and moaned when she felt the phallus move slightly inside her. Arousal swept over her again and she sat down fully on the phallus. "Don't let me go," Tris whispered into Jeanine's ear breaking their kiss. "Never," Jeanine replied earnestly wrapping her arms tightly around Tris' midsection.
Tris rocked slowly against the phallus and Jeanine moaned in pleasure as it rubbed directly against her clit. Their kisses quickly grew in passion and fervor once again. Tris hips started to rock faster and Jeanine felt her body grow tense at the sensation. "Ohhhh… OH Jeanine," Tris cried out her hips thrusting fully against the phallus. "Yes, yes," Jeanine panted between messy and molten kisses.
Tris slowed her pace for a moment and thrust her hips forward and backward forcefully a few times before picking up a more grueling pace. "Oh fuck, fuck Jeanine," Tris yelled her head bobbing against Jeanine's shoulder in arousal. "Faster," Jeanine requested against Tris' sweat-slicked skin. The brunette happily obliged rocking her hips faster.
Jeanine dropped her hands to Tris hips pulling them up and pushing them down over the hard shaft. Tris' head fell back in pleasure, "Ohhhh I'm so close, yes, yes, yes." Jeanine's core was about to explode as well. "Yes, come on Tris. I-I-I'm gonna come too," She stammered out. That was all it took for Tris to drop down on the phallus hard one more time and start fucking Jeanine hard. She rolled her hips as fast as she could against the blonde. Tris moved faster, faster, and faster until they were both at their peak.
"Oh fuck," Jeanine cursed and her head fell forward against Tris' shoulder. "Oh god, yes," Tris said her climax rapidly approaching as her sex clenched and unclenched around the hard phallus. Tris threw her hips forward three more times effectively sending both women tumbling over the edge into utter and complete bliss. The air in the room was filled with moans and gasps of pleasure as they rode out the waves of their orgasms. Blood rushed through their veins causing taught muscles to flex and quiver, leaving their skin tingling with a sheen layer of sweat.
Tris let out a gasp and dug her fingers into Jeanine's back when she felt the phallus shift slightly inside her core. Jeanine chuckled throatily and placed soft kisses along Tris' shoulder working her way into the column of Tris' neck. The blonde let her hands slide down to cup Tris' ass encouraging the younger woman to lift herself off the dildo. Tris' legs and center quivered as she obeyed Jeanine's silent command removing the soaked phallus from her sex.
Her muscles clenched and relaxed as she sat back down in Jeanine's lap, the dildo now pressed between their bodies. Jeanine let her assault of kisses continue up Tris' neck as her mind continued to swim in pure bliss. Tris rolled her head to the side allowing Jeanine to continue her trek. Plump lips placed delicate kisses along Tris' neck before brushing against her strong jawline and meeting with a pleased smile. Tris' eyes fluttered open to meet Jeanine's and she leaned down pressing her lips against the blonde's.
Jeanine smiled into the kiss and wrapped her arms tightly around Tris falling back on to the bed and taking the brunette with her. They chuckled into their kiss and broke both needing air. Tris crawled up Jeanine's body allowing the phallus to slide from between their bodies and lay down fully on top of the blonde. She propped her head up on her hand brushing her long brown hair back from her face and taking in the sated look Jeanine wore.
Tris' lips pulled into a smile as she watched Jeanine close her eyes and hum softly in contentment. She drew small circles over the blonde's chest watching as goose bumps rose in the trail of her touch. Her heart swelled in contentment and she let her head fall to rest on Jeanine's shoulder nuzzling her nose into the older woman's neck.
Jeanine smiled and let her hands roam up and down Tris' strong back until holding the brunette in her arms. "You're so brave," Jeanine whispered and pressed a tender kiss to the top of Tris' head. Tris smiled and squeezed Jeanine's shoulder attempting to get even closer to the blonde. "You give me a reason to be," Tris said simply and relaxed further into her lover. Jeanine returned the comment with a tight squeeze and closed her eyes thankful everything had gone so well.
Tris jumped hearing a loud knocking noise. "Did you hear that," She asked propping herself up on her elbow and looking down at Jeanine. "Hear what," Jeanine asked curiously. Tris heard the noise again and she rolled over sitting upright on the bed and furrowing her brow, "That!" Jeanine propped herself up on the bed unable to figure out what Tris was talking about, "I didn't hear anything."
"It sounded like someone was knocking on the door," Tris said staring at their bedroom door which was standing wide open. Jeanine sat up and followed Tris' gaze to the door, "I don't hear anything, but maybe we should go check the front door." Tris stared at the door before her eyes began to wander around the room. Everything was familiar, the furniture, and the clothes strewn on the floor…. Too familiar, she decided and her stomach dropped.
She swallowed hard and turned so she was facing Jeanine who was now sitting up at her side. Tris swallowed hard, "This isn't real." Jeanine gave Tris a baffled expression, "What do you mean this isn't real?" Tris looked around the room again, the scattered bed sheets, the nightstand drawer still open, and it was all too familiar. "This is a memory," Tris said voicing her thoughts aloud. "What are you talking about," Jeanine asked staring at her lover in concern and confusion.
"This is a memory," Tris said again looking down at her feet and then back up to Jeanine. "This has already happened, I'm dreaming," She said putting the pieces together audibly. Jeanine squinted her eyes and desperately tried to understand Tris' logic. "But this isn't a dream, I'm here," Jeanine said quickly analyzing her state of self. Tris shook her head and Jeanine grabbed Tris' hand pressing it to her chest. "Feel this," Jeanine said, "That is my heartbeat, I am real Tris, I am here."
Tris' heart sunk in her chest at the pleading tone in Jeanine's voice. She inclined her head toward the blonde, "Think about it Jeanine, this has already happened. I'm not with you right now." Jeanine shook her head in refusal but Tris' words suddenly struck something inside. Her mind whirred with thoughts; she was here, but maybe…. "A dream," Jeanine asked after a moment of silence had passed.
"Yes," Tris nodded and fought desperately to keep her tears at bay. A lump formed in Jeanine's chest, she didn't know how or why, but something inside of her told her that Tris was right – this was all a dream. "But this all happened," Jeanine argued the idea. "Yes it did," Tris sighed visibly deflating. "This is a dream made up of a memory," Tris explained slowly.
Jeanine pursed her lips into a tight line examining Tris' words and failing to come up with any reasonable explanations of her own. Tris heard another loud thud ring in her ears and her vision started to blur. "I think I'm waking up," She said her voice strained as her mind swirled. "What," Jeanine snapped to attention her eyes going wide and gluing to the brunette's face.
Tris' head throbbed and she held her hand up to her forehead. "I think I'm waking up," She repeated, her stomach beginning to churn violently. "Shit," Jeanine muttered, her own stomach starting to feel queasy as her vision blurred. "Where are you Tris," Jeanine asked as reality slowly started to trickle into her mind. Tris fell back on the bed her head spinning and bile starting to rise in her throat.
Black spots crept into Jeanine's vision but no matter how much she blinked or rubbed at her eyes the spots continued to grow in size and number. Her head swam and her thoughts became muddled. She heard a grunt from the woman next to her and noticed Tris had fallen back onto the bed. Reality slowly crept into Jeanine's mind and her heart sunk in her chest. "Where are you Tris," She asked through her bleary state.
Tris attempted to clear her throat but failed miserably. Her head swam and it felt as though she was quickly spinning in circles. "Factionless," She finally managed to spit out. Her volume was barely above a whisper, but it was just enough for Jeanine to catch. The older woman closed her eyes and covered her mouth with one hand as a nauseous feeling overtook her body. She exhaled deeply and let herself fall back onto the bed.
Jeanine's eyes flew open only a second later to a familiar ceiling view. Her stomach twisted in a knot and she placed her hand over her abdomen feeling soft silk against her fingertips. She fisted the material in her hand before looking down at it. She furrowed her brow in confusion, looking down at her chest and noticing her favorite pair of silk pajamas. Her eyes pulled into small slits at being unable to recall when she had put the pajamas on. She let out a huff of indignation and let her head fall back against the pillow in wonder. She drew in a deep breath and turned her head fully expecting to see her lover sound asleep and snoring at her side.
Only when Jeanine looked; there was no one there. Her heat sank in her chest and bolted upright with a gasp; Tris' side of the bed was cold, empty and still made. Panic ripped through her chest at the sight and she glanced around the room in search of the brunette. Throwing back the covers, she pulled her legs over the side of the bed and tried to clear her vision. Just as her feet touched the cool carpeted floor, Jeanine's attention landed on a picture of her and Tris hanging on their bedroom wall. It was a selfie-shot Tris had taken the night of their second anniversary. Jeanine's heart rate began to slow the longer she looked at the picture, but pain took the place of her anxiety.
In the photograph; Tris was wearing a white button up shirt and Jeanine was wearing a red form-fitting dress. Jeanine's mind wandered back to the night they had shared on rooftop balcony overlooking the city. She let out a ragged breath and slumped back down on the bed. Her mind whirred with thoughts; of her memory, of her dream and of her present state. It didn't take long for the Erudite leader to realize that everything she had just experienced was only a dream. She closed her eyes and covered her mouth with her hand swallowing the bile that threatened to rise up in her throat.
Tears stung at her cloudy blue eyes and her heart physically ached when she once again realized that Tris was missing. Everything she had just experienced was only a dream of a memory – Tris had been right. Jeanine's eyes went wide at the thought; Tris had known that they were dreaming. And for a short time, they were able to communicate with each other both realizing that they were dreaming. Jeanine's mind raced until one solitary word started to circle continuously in her mind. It was the last word she could remember Tris saying – Factionless.
AN: I feel like the song Dreaming With a Broken Heart by John Mayer perfectly explains the way Jeanine is feeling. Check it out if you have the chance ;)
Hope you all enjoyed this chapter, if you have any questions about the dream please let me know so I can clarify in the next chapter if needed. -Ashlynn
Fruipit23 – Thank you for your advice, I took it! ;)
Ignis Aurum – You made me laugh with your comment, thank you! :)
Thank you for your continued support and comments! :) -Ashlynn