Disclaimer: I don't own G.I. Joe but I own this story.
Back on Cobra Island, the Cobra Commander (in his transformed state) held a meeting regarding the Alternator and G.I. Joe, contacting the Cobra Forces from the giant computer screen to the ship. Meanwhile Dr. Mindbender is repairing the Alternator so he could find Serpentor (who is locked up in the dungeon) a new body to inhabit so he can get revenge on the Cobra Commander and take back control of Cobra.
"Now that the meeting's in ssssssession, we will discusssssss what's been going on this past week and... " Cobra Commander said before he saw Lt. Falcon and Zarana kissing.
"SSSSSSTOP THAT FALCON! Save it after we get rid of G.I. Joe and rule the world!" Cobra Commander yelled at Falcon.
"Sorry boss. I was trying to be friendly to her, that's all." Falcon apologized.
"Friendly as in having sex with her?" Zartan sneered.
"Hey! You maybe her big brother and all of that shit pal but you don't scare me!" Falcon defended.
"Why you little..." Zartan growled.
"SILENCE! Now where were we? Ah, yessssss. We are to discussssss about the Alternator and G.I. Joe." Cobra Commander told them.
"The Alternator is still damaged when you mixed up the crystals of the elements which caused the chain reaction and as a result of it, Duke and the traitorous woman herself the Baroness have switch bodies with each other." Destro reported.
"We had a conversation with Dr. Mindbender and he informed us he's repairing the Alternator." Xamot and Tomax added.
"Since you damaged it in the act of vengeance, he's making changes on the weapon. Since it's created to turn people into different creatures, Dr. Mindbender informed us that the weapon is also created to switch the minds and bodies of people alike or brainwash them into our slaves." Zartan said.
"Well he better know what he'ssssss doing because I sssssstill don't trust him or all of you because you favored SSSSSSerpentor over me. Betray me again and I'll kill you all." Cobra Commander warned them about stabbing him in the back.
"I know my dear Cobra Commander but we're not the issue here. You still have to deal with G.I. Joe in the shape they're all in now." Destro reminded the transformed Cobra Commander about the Joes.
"That'ssssss why you'll travel to Russia, Tokyo, Japan and Hawaii to get the crystalssssss and sssssstop them from interfering with our planssssss to rule the world. Destro, you Lt. Falcon, Zarana and the Crimson Twins will go to Tokyo, Japan. Zartan, Thrasher, Zandar and Copperhead will go to Hawaii and intersect the other Joes. Major Bludd, Firefly and Scrap-Iron, Russia is all yours. Destroy the Joes and..." Cobra Commander ordered until the Dreadknok Chicken interrupted the mutated snake.
"Hey "Cluck cluck" what about us?" Buzzer asked.
"Yeah "Cluck cluck" you can't "Cluck cluck" leave us "Cluck cluck" like this!" Torch added.
"Oh. You Dreadknok chickens will keep your eyessssss on Dr. Mindbender and make sure he doesn't help Serpentor regain my leadership position I worked so hard to regain." Cobra Commander told them.
"We "Cluck cluck" hear and obey." Ripper responded.
"Good. Now where were we? Ah, yes. Destroy the Joes and take no prisoners! Soon the world will belong to Cobra!" Cobra Commander said and they all laughed maniacally.
Somewhere in the middle of nowhere, Lift-Ticket in his Tomahawk is dropping off Duke in the Baroness' body and the Baroness in Duke's body to the Slaughterhouse.
"Enjoyin' the ride so far?" Lift-Ticket asked.
"Yeah. Especially when you got 200 pounds of pure muscle sleeping on your lap on your way to the Slaughterhouse." Duke in the Baroness' body answered as The Baroness in Duke's body slept on his lap.
"Yeah? Well we're almost there. Better wake her up gently sir cause we're about to land... wait. I'm gettin' a call from the Serge. He said he want you two to get a 30 minute head start by walkin' or runnin'." Lift-Ticket announced.
"What? Oh shit! Baroness wake up!" Duke yelled, shaking the Baroness to wake up. He tried to pick his old body up but he realized that his old body was heavy.
"Boy, did my body gained some weight or is the Baroness' body is too weak?" Duke wondered until the Baroness woke up.
"W-Where are we? Are we there yet?" The Baroness asked as she got up.
"Almost. But Sgt. Slaughter wanted us to get a 30 minute head start on foot." Duke answered.
"WHAT? Are you mad?" The Baroness asked in disbelief.
"No. I'm not kidding." Duke answered.
"Was this your doing? Because if it is, I'm going to be upset." The Baroness sneered.
"I knew you were going to react like this." Duke did the facepalm.
"Reminded me of her old self before she quit her job as a Cobra." Lift-Ticket said.
"I feel like I gained weight. Maybe that's how you got a killer sexy chiseled out body darling." The Baroness said, feeling heavy.
"Watch your choice of words sweetheart. I did some extra training during my rehabilitation since last year. I thought I could take a beating like a man but your body is so tender and weak, I took the worst beating of my life." Duke said.
"Watch it you fool! I warned you not to let my beautiful body take the worst damage of all!" The Baroness yelled.
"Yeah? Maybe you can go back to Destro and get a fucking shrink for both of ya!" Duke yelled back.
"I'll never return to Destro or Cobra. And I refuse to take orders from Cobra Commander or Serpentor." The Baroness hissed.
"Then shut up and calm down Baroness. Like I said before, we gotta take care of each other's bodies until we're back to normal. If you want your body Baroness, then you have to trust me. Either way, Cobra win and we lose." Duke informed her.
"All right darling. I shall do my best to trust you." The Baroness understood about what Duke said.
"And you'll have to earn Sgt. Slaughter's trust and respect because he's not gonna go easy on you. He's very strict about training people to be Soldiers." Duke warned her about Sgt. Slaughter.
"Well thank you for the heads up about him." The Baroness replied.
"Well guys. This is where I'll drop you off." Lift-Ticket announced as he landed in the middle of the desert.
"Thanks Lift-Ticket. We'll go on foot." Duke thanked him.
"Good luck. Yo Joe!" Lift-Ticket cried.
"A 30 minute head start? OK let's get this over with." The Baroness suggested.
"Say no more. Now let's move." Duke responded as they ran to the Slaughterhouse by foot.
30 minutes later, they arrived at the Slaughterhouse. It looked empty until someone from the shadows came out.
"Well, we're finally here. Last time I was here, the good ol' Serge was making these greenshirts work out like crazy" Duke reminisced about the last time he to the Slaughterhouse.
"Yes but I have a strange feeling that we're about to be ambushed." The Baroness sounded a little worried as someone quickly grabs her.
"Don't get paranoid Baroness. That might be..." Duke got cut off by the Baroness' screams. She elbowed the mystery man and Judo threw him until he landed on his feet.
The mystery man was a 6"3", 270 lb African American man wearing baggy red camo pants sagging below the belt, army boots, black tanktop, red bandana to make him look like a gang member, long cornrows and a full goatee.
They were surrounded by more soldiers to back him up. The muscle bound Amazon in the wedding bridal dress, two Chinese twins in Kung-Fu clothes, a 5'11" African Tribe Warrior Princess with a long black hair and blue eyes, a long blonde haired white guy with beard that Lemmy of Motorhead has and a Sheriff uniform with army pants and boots, a 6'7" 290lb Russian brute with a black mohawk and a chin strip wearing a black sleeve shirt, red army pants, black boots and mma fighting gloves, a masked Luchidor wearing camoflauge wrestling tights and wrist bands and black kickpads and a long red haired Scotsman wearing two hoop earrings, a rugged facial hair with the goatee, a black bandana, a black motorhead t-shirt, red kilt and black army boots with red and white socks on.
"So these are the new recruits of Sgt. Slaughter? Ha ha ha... OK guys. It's time I give you some discipline, starting right now." Duke in the Baroness' body said as he tried to spin kick the Amazon in a wedding dress only to caught in the legs by her. The Amazon picked him up and tossed him into the ground, flat on his ass.
"Lady, that shit was gross insubordination!" Duke yelled at her as he tried to punched and kicked the amazon in the bridal dress but to no avail. "Damn, she's strong. She musta been on steroids or something."
"Duke! HELP! There's too many of them!" The Baroness screamed for Duke's help as she struggles to fight those new recruits.
They fought and fought until Duke and the Baroness in each other's bodies were defeated by the new recruits. "Oh. Baroness..." Duke spoke first. "Duke..." Baroness responded. "I take back what I said about you and your body." They said the same sentence at the same time.
"The only way to work the body is to use your mind, heart and soul together." The Chinese twin in white said.
"Brother, you sound like Se-Fu again!" The Chinese twin in black retorted.
"Who cares? Let's smash them!" The amazon bride shouted.
"Chill girl, damn! You always gotta say the same shit every we get into a fight." A black soldier in red and black complained about the amazon bride's hobby of smash people to kingdom come.
"Maybe you need to smile more, yes?" The African girl giggled and hit on the black soldier in red and black.
"I only smile when I see you baby." He replied with a kiss.
"Baroness, I think what double dragon said was that..." Duke suggested.
"We have to use each other's abilities to survive." the Baroness added.
"You got it babe."
"Well then..."
"Let's get them! YO JOE!" They cried as they charged towards the new recruits.
"Another ass whoopin'?" A red and black army clad thug asked.
"Let's destro..." The Amazon Bride shouted only to kicked in the face by Duke and the Baroness.
"Take that you muscle headed bimbo of an oaf!" The Baroness yelled.
"All right you knuckleheads. We serving a double knuckle sandwich right now! So start eating!" Duke declared as he puts the beatdown on the new recruits using the Baroness' body lightweight and aerial tactics while the Baroness used Duke's body for strength leverage and brawling techniques.
"I hope you your lesson, darlings. Next time you try it, I'm sending you all a very painful message." The Baroness said after they defeated them until they all heard Sgt. Slaughter shouted "AT EASE DISEASE!" as the new recruits stood up in line, standing straight. Sgt. Slaughter, Mercer, Red Dog and Taurus appeared behind Duke and the Baroness.
"I'm glad you two made in one piece. OK you maggots, listen up! Let me introduce myself, Baroness. My name is Sgt. Slaughter. Special Drill Instructor for G.I. Joe. I'm glad you came here to join us young lady. But that's not the reason why you're here. You're here because you want redemption for your friggin' past sins and the crimes you committed! You want to join the Joe team, huh Baroness? Well today is your lucky day because my job is to whip you into shape. Slaughterhouse style! In the Slaughterhouse Baroness, you either got two choices. Either you go hard right now...or go home...back to where you came from. GOT IT?" Sgt. Slaughter demanded as he looked into her eyes.
"Sir yes sir!" The Baroness in Duke's body responded as she saluted.
"Good. Now stay focus and meet the new members of the Renegades. Mercer, Red Dog and Taurus are already certified members but I'm training these brash new recruits and believe me they're way too unorthodox and out of control. But when I get done with them, what are you gonna be?" Sgt. Slaughter asked the new recruits.
"PERFECT!" They responded.
"You're damn right. Perfect." Sgt. Slaughter introduced the new recruits to Duke and the Baroness.
"Say hello to 187. A former LA gang member/underground street fighter from the mean streets of Compton who saw the error of his ways. Just like you, Baroness." 187 throws a w gang sign and shouted out "Westside homie!"
"Bridezilla. A former body builder/pro wrestler who went on a rampage since the groom stood her up at her wedding." Bridezilla did some body building poses.
"Ragin' Roscoe. Ex Sheriff of the Chickasaw County Police Force who got fired for beating up a drunk driver in Atlanta. He has a thing for fast cars, Southern Rock, Heavy Metal & Country Music and loud explosions." Ragin' Roscoe shouted out "HEEHAW!"
"This Russian tough guy is Red Bison. A former Sambo Wrestler and former MMA fighter who got rejected by the Oktober Guard... twice." Red Bison showed off his MMA skills, picks up a huge rock, threw it in the air and punched the rock into itty bitty pieces.
"Lt. Luchidor. A former Mexican wrestler who joined the Army in Mexico to protect the Border from the Cobra Invasion." Lt. Luchidor jumps in the air and his feet landed in Red Star's hands. They both laughed.
"The Chinese twins who called themselves the Golden Dragon Twins. Twin masters of every Kung-Fu discipline known to modern man. The one in the white shirt and black pants is Yin. The other one in a black shirt and white pants is Yang." Yin smiled and Yang growled then they showed out their Kung-Fu skills.
"Hot Rod. A Scottish machine gun specialist who drives a motorcycle and listens to rock n roll music. With him on our side, he can make sure that Cobra pays the high piper." Hod Rod shot the machine gun in the air.
"And last but not least, this 5'11", 206 lbs of pure African chocolate who calls herself Kenya based on her homeland in Africa. She's sweet and fun loving but she gets serious when it comes to fighting Cobra. She was a princess of her tribe in Kenya, Africa until Cobra massacred her people including her family. Since then, she swore vengeance for her people by putting Cobra out of business... permanently. Not to mention, she got to most powerful legs in this outfit." Kenya did some backflips and did some lightning fast kicks.
Then a woman in a tight black and green ninja outfit came of nowhere and jumped right in front of the new recruits. She faked a kick, knocking Yin off balance.
"Ha ha ha! Serve ya right bro!" Yang mocked his twin brother.
"True bro but don't get cocky because someday she'll exploit your arrogance and use it against you." Yin got Yang back.
"Oh yeah?" Yang growled.
"Yeah!" Yin growled back.
"Quiet you twin maggots! Done meditating yet Jade?" Sgt. Slaughter asked.
"Yes sir. Now I'm participating in any activity you want me to participate in." Jade answered as she took off her ninja mask, exsposing her tan like skin and her long black with green dye.
"Duke. Baroness. Say hello to the Brazilian Ninja herself Jade of the Arashikage Ninja Clan. Same class as Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow." Jade then bowed to everybody.
"Everyone, this is First Sergeant Duke and the Baroness, formerly of Cobra. To avoid the confusion, they switched bodies. So Duke is now the Baroness and the Baroness is now Duke. Until they change back, remember it! Now listen to what Duke has to say." Sgt. Slaughter ordered the new recruits to listen to what Duke have to say.
"Alright everybody, you attention please. I know we got up on the wrong foot but we don't have time for fun and games right now. Lives are at stake and Cobra is looking for a rematch. And ol' chrome-dome himself the Cobra Commander has returned as a snake monster and regained his place as the leader of Cobra so he could get revenge on all of us. He is expanding more of his forces even as we speak. So our job is protect our country from these ugly sons of bitches and the Baroness will help us whether you like or not. Do I make myself?" Duke told them as he paced back and forth.
"Sir yes sir!" The Renegades responded.
"Good. So let's show these bastards what G.I. Joe is made of." Duke encouraged.
"Now give your heart and soul to America everyone because I'm gonna whip you all into shape right now! Now run back and forth 30 times!" Sgt. Slaughter commanded as the Baroness in Duke's body and the Renegades started to run.
"We have to get the Baroness motivated Serge. Otherwise we're gonna have problems as far as those snakes are concern." Duke told Sgt. Slaughter.
"I agree with you Duke because with all due respect, you're in the Baroness' body and you're gonna join them." Sgt. Slaughter responded by pointing his finger at Duke and telling him to join the others.
"Yes sir!" Duke replied with a Salute.
"Now let's see if you can run on those high heels Duke! Yeah, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut!" Sgt. Slaughter instructed Duke to run as the Slaughterhouse training has just begun.
Meanwhile, back on Cobra Island, Dr. Mindbender is still repairing the Alternator but he's making changes to it until he heard the Dreadknok Chickens clucking.
"What the hell? Who's there?" Dr. Mindbender pulls out a gun. "Dreadknoks! What are you doing here?"
"Cobra Com... "Cluck cluck" ...mander ordered us to "Cluck cluck" keep an a eye on you." Monkeywrench answered.
"But he treated us like we're useless." Buzzer complained.
"He's threatened to kill us if we betray him again." Ripper added.
"We want Serpentor back." Torch whined.
"Ha ha ha ha ha! You'll get Serpentor back once the Alternator is repaired and we'll use it against the Cobra Commander and his Snake Humanoids. Especially the Joe team when they'll suffer the same fate Duke and the Baroness did. And you will help me." Dr. Mindbender said.
"We are?" Ripper asked.
"Yes. Ha ha ha. Once the Alternator is repaired, I'll turn you four back to normal and give Serpentor a new body to inhabit. Little did Cobra Commander know is that I ordered Lt. Falcon to find a new host body for Serpentor to possess. And the host body for Serpentor... will be one of the members of G.I. Joe." Dr. Mindbender laughed manically.
At the U.S.S Flagg, General Hawk, General Franks, Admiral Ledger and Colonel Sharpp are watching Hector Ramirez' 21 Questions show, regarding Falcon's betrayal.
"This is Hector Ramirez with 21 Questions. The world was shocked when Cobra attacked G.I. Joe, destroyed their base and injured six of the best soldiers on their team: Stalker, Bazooka, Wet-Suit, Leatherneck, Steeler and Cover Girl. During an interview with General Hawk, he told me that the Joes have been betrayed by Lt. Falcon, a former Joe who's been discharged from G.I. Joe after last year's battle with Cobra when his elder half brother, Sergeant Conrad "Duke" Hauser was in a coma at the time. And there was also controversy surrounding the Baroness, formerly of Cobra who defected from the Terrorist Organization to the Joe team as General Hawk quoted that the Baroness had a change of heart and he was still unsure about it. He said that the Baroness still have to answer for the crimes she committed over the years but the questions are... how will the world react to Lt. Falcon's betrayal and the Baroness' defection to G.I. Joe? If she is now a part of G.I. Joe, will she still have to answer for her crimes she committed in the past? And more importantly, will the Joes regroup so they can prevent yet another Cobra Invasion? Only time will tell but until then, this is Hector Ramirez with 21 Questions."
"Tell me about it. It was classified that Duke and the Baroness suffered a body swap at the hands of Cobra Commander in his transformed state." General Hawk said after he turned off the computer screen.
"Transformed state? What on God's green earth did he turned into, General Hawk?" Colonel Sharpp asked.
"A Humanoid Snake." Hawk answered and explained "Storm Shadow and the Joes reported that there were thousands of these Humanoid Snakes led by the Cobra Commander. And they were transformed by these supernatural chemicals. Capable of turning people into mutant creatures but Cobra Commander sabotaged the machine causing it to overload and swapped Duke and the Baroness into each other's bodies. We even have scientists to do a brain scan on Duke and the Baroness. It was confirmed that Duke has the Baroness' brainwaves and the Baroness had Duke's brainwaves. God knows what'll happen if Cobra repair the Alternator to it's former glory."
"They'll turn everyone into monsters like the Cobra Commander. For all we know, he may already destroyed Serpentor to regain control of his organization." General Franks said.
"But what about Lt. Falcon?" Admiral Ledger reminded. "Are you sure he betrayed us and his country out of pure anger and frustration since he was discharged for gross insubordination? If that's the path he's chosen, then God have mercy on the poor lad."
"At this point, I don't know anymore. Despite the fact that he has a split personality, Cobra maybe using him against us or he made the choice himself. If he chose to betray us, then he'll live with it for the rest of his life." General Hawk said, facepalming himself, shaking his disbelief and then Lt. Falcon appeared on the computer screen, wearing a green beret with a Cobra symbol.
"Well, well, well. If it isn't the same assholes who ruined my life by discharging me in the first fucking place! You got what's coming to you General Hawk! No one makes a damn fool outta me and gets away with it! Especially Duke and the Joes! Or should I say, Garbage Idiot Joe!" Lt. Falcon shouted like a raving lunatic.
"Lt. Falcon, what in the hell is wrong with you? You could've killed everyone when you blew up headquarters!" Colonel Sharpp demanded.
"Yeah, that was the coolest thing I did in my entire life. Oh, about the bombs that was placed on Joe headquarters, I planted them during the time we captured Duke and the others before the ol' switcheroo took place on Cobra Island. The bombs were stealth created by the great Destro." Falcon told them about the bombs placed on the now destroyed G.I. Joe Headquarters.
"So that explained why the security systems went rampant two days ago." Hawk said.
"That's right. I did what I did to get my revenge on everybody who betrayed me. Especially that no good brother of mine, Duke." Falcon sneered.
"If that's why you betrayed us Lt. Falcon, then we're holding you responsible for this catastrophe!" General Franks yelled at Falcon.
"Shut up! You are starting to piss me off! So General Hawk you feeble minded bastard, I dare you say something to piss me so bad, that I could kill you in so many ways!" Falcon hissed.
"Then Lt. Falcon, take a good look at what your betrayal has done to us. You betrayed us by punching Dukein the face, made the Baroness open her eyes and expressed regret over the destruction Cobra has caused, destroy our headquarters and injured six good men. For that Lt. Falcon, you went from being a disgraced soldier to a backstabbing Cobra who's about to get put his place when we bring you to justice. Mark my words, Falcon, we're gonna take you down." General Hawk growled at Lt. Falcon.
"Then you've signed your death warrant, sir. When I get done with Duke and the others, I'm comin' to kill you. I want you to wake up every morning knowing that I will take your life. Once Cobra gets rid of G.I. Joe once and for all, you will BOW TO ME!" Lt. Falcon warned Hawk and his fellow commanding officers and laughed maniacally. He disappeared from the computer screen.
"Unless we stop them and prevent a Cobra conquest on the world, that son of a bitch could be right." General Hawk said.
"God help us all." Colonel Sharpp added.
"Let's hope Duke and the Baroness finish their training in time. Because if they don't, then the world as we know it could be going straight to hell." General Franks said.
Sorry I took so long but I got it down now.
Next time on G.I. Joe Trading Faces: The Joes and Cobra are clashing for the three crystals of the elements in Russia, Japan and Hawaii. Meanwhile the switched up Duke and the Baroness are training with Sgt. Slaughter at the Slaughterhouse.