Author: Taisia Kuno

Title: We Can Be Heroes: Part One: Student In My Home; Loneliness Subsides

Fandom: JP3

Pairing: Alan/Billy

Rating: R for now

Warnings: Slash of course, m/m fun stuff

Spoilers: Of course

Series: Yes, this is 1:12

Summary: A novel written from boredom about the relationship Alan and Billy have before, during and after JP3. I have beta tested this myself and have had friends read this so this is as accurate as possible. Basically, it's just my thoughts and my ideas with a bit of creativity towards the last part. Also, thank you for all who have commented! I don't update unless I get some comments! So if you wanna see where this goes, drop me some love! 3

Disclaimer: Don't own a lick of the characters and please don't sue me for that. But also, if this pairing isn't for you or hell, homosexual stuff isn't for you either, please don't e-mail me or leave me comments else wise. Just skip it and go on. Isn't that the polite thing to do?

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Part One: Student In My Home; Loneliness Subsides

Chapter 13

Alan came to realize that the household of Samantha's family awoke exactly thirty seven minutes before dawn broke through the clouds. Now he wished he had stayed in he and Billy's room last night because the weight of Burke jumping from over the back of the couch and onto his stomach. This was also typical of the household for Burke woke the earliest to watch his morning cartoons especially on Saturday mornings such as this. Alan coughed heavily and Burke jumped off of him and began apologizing as if his life depended on it. The older man who was becoming quite glad for the late night ice cream raids that gave him a stomach, sat up with his arm wrapped around his stomach tightly.

"It's alright..." groaned Alan. He didn't want to tell the young boy how much his stomach hurt now with it being empty and from his assault but the boy suffered enough. He was hesitant to realize how little his ache had to do with the 5 year old landing on him but instead was caused by his own stupidity the night before. With his body doubled over, his head almost laid upon his knees while he remembered how rash he was to Billy who had done nothing wrong in the slightest. How can you fight for something that made him different only to become as hateful and spiteful as the man who oppressed him? Was Alan as bad as Billy's dad? His stomach began burning and his eyes remained tightly closed.

"Here. Milk helps with upset tummies. Daddy said so." Burke stood beside Alan with a small clear glass of milk in his hand; he clearly was offering it to Alan. Another 24 hours before returning home and Alan wasn't sure if he'd be able to make it. But the cool glass of milk did help a little so Sean wasn't lying about that.

"Can I go wake up Uncle Billy?" said Burke eagerly, ready to dart to the room at the first sign of an ok. Alan shook his head in disagreement and explained to the saddened boy that the family really needed a rest after a day like yesterday. Burke nodded the way little boys did when they couldn't argue further with the adults and just dealt with it since a tantrum wouldn't fix it either. It was just easier to sit down, fumble with the remote that got lodged between the couch cushions, and talk mindlessly to the adult that was awake.

"And see that yellow one is electrical." said Burke while pointing to the television.

"It's a mouse. A rather cheeky rodent at that." remarked Alan as he tried to remember being five years old. The task was difficult and he gave up once he reached 10. A door opened from behind them and Alan prayed that it was not Billy coming to see who was up and yelling at the tv so early in the morning. Instead, it was Samantha in a dark blue bath robe, light pink pajama bottoms and furry black slippers scuffing across the hardwood floor. She stopped at the edge of the couch and put her hand on Alan's shoulder.

"Alan are you really watching Pokemon at six o'clock in the morning?" she asked, relieving a small chuckle from her throat. Alan looked behind him while offering a half smile to her.

"He has the remote. I have no say."

Another door clicked open and this time, Alan's initial fear of it being Billy was correct. The youth was dressed in a tight black t-shirt sporting the words 'Lonely H' in white block letters, a pair of long khaki shorts torn and frayed at the bottom from years of wear and tare, and lastly his Converse Chucks also covered in dust and grime. Moments like these reminded Alan of how young Billy could look but how he really was so much older than he portrayed. But now the shirt drove a stake into Alan's chest for he felt that there was a message to the shirt; that the Lonely H stood for a lonely hero and not just a simple band name.

Billy pulled down a dark grey beanie over his curls but a few remained to line the bottom of the hat. In red letters on the side of this cap was the word VERTIGO which stuck in Alan's mind. This signified over everything that he was going out and no one was going to stop him. Hardly six in the morning and he was eager to leave.

"I'll be back in awhile." he started, looking once at Alan who must have looked utterly ridiculous as a bunch of cartoon creatures danced on the television in front of him. The way Billy looked at him wasn't of hatred or anger as he had anticipated but more of complete and total loss. If a map were posted in front of him waiting for his eyes to gaze at it for guidance, Billy's expression still would not have changed for not even a map could guide his way off this desolate rock of existence.

"Do you want something to eat hon? Or want a ride?" asked his sister who sensed that something was wrong with how Billy was acting. The man shrugged and checked his wallet to make sure he had something in the means of money. Three twenties and a ten. Maybe some change in the zipper pocket...

"Can you at least tell me where you're going?" Samantha sensed the tension Billy was casting off but he refused to say much. All he could muster out was that he was going to find some friends and that was even shady. He didn't say names, places where he would go, or even how late he planned on being out for. Not even saying that his mother's will reading was that evening made him talk.

"I'll be back when I'm back. I need to be out." It didn't take long at all for Billy to back out of the door and disappear into a misty morning that felt dark and unfriendly. Within himself, Alan kicked at his emotions and knew that it was his fault that Billy acted so distant just then. Samantha knew too and made it clear when she asked him to join her for a cup of coffee in the kitchen, away from the ears of Burke who didn't need to hear what she had to say. He was too busy with his cartoons anyway to really care nor notice.

"Why were you sleeping on the couch anyway?" she began. The coffee was brewing and, rather uncomfortably, Samantha sat across Alan at the table with just an empty white coffee mug as his only means of a shield. Her eyes darted over his face and he knew that she was judging his actions. He wondered how well she could read lies.

"Ah... he wanted his space." The time it took him to think of that rather stupid excuse was too long for it to be true. Samantha sighed heavily but continued looking down at her mug as it rolled about on the table from hand to hand.

"It bothers you that he's gay doesn't it?" How blunt this family seemed at times but at least Alan knew now where Billy got it from. His eyes narrowed and the right side of his mouth twitched up just for a split second but it was enough for Samantha.

"No why would it?"

"You're lying. Come on Alan, I've lived with all men my entire life except for my own mother. I can tell when a man lies. You're bothered by it but not in the way most people are, aren't you?"

"Now what are you talking about?" said Alan, hinting at the panic behind his words by rubbing his mouth once. Another sure sign he was nervous and seemed bothered by the subject.

"I'll pretend for now that nothing happened. But I'm sure something will." she said with a bit of a smirk. The coffee had finished brewing but something called him away from the kitchen. A melodic noise came from Billy's room and Alan recognized it as his cell phone. Now he began to worry further because Billy never went anywhere without his cell phone and now with him going somewhere unknown without it bothered the older man to a point of serious worry. But the phone was ringing and he answered it since the caller I.D. flashed that it was Ian calling again at his typical unruly hours.

"Hey Billy... how are you feeling my young friend?" said Ian in a more caring voice than Alan had ever heard him use. It was touching to say the least to hear how Ian cared for their mutual friend and yet it made Alan slightly jealous, very slightly, to know that someone cared for Billy as much as he did. Sometimes, he wondered, if Ian cared more after that terrible spout last night.

"It's not Billy. It's me." said Alan, taking a spot on the bed and feeling a little relieved to smell Billy's scent still lingering on the bed from the last two nights. There was something comfortable about it. Maybe it just made Alan feel less guilty about how he acted and more close to Billy than what he currently was at the moment.

"How's the kid doing Alan? Is he with you?"

"He's doing as good as any kid in his position would do. And no, he went out for now. Guess he needed to be out doing something."

"He's out without you? Doesn't that strike you as a bit odd? He told me he didn't want to be away from you for longer than five minutes yesterday afternoon." Something bit at the back of Alan's head when Ian said this so he decided to take a chance at being blunt for a change.

"Did you know that Billy's gay? Am I really the only one who didn't know?"

"... He didn't want to tell you. The kid was scared!"

"What! So you did know!" Now Alan felt like smothering himself with the pillows.

"Well yeah. He told me the first day we met. It was sort of obvious so I asked him and he honestly answered. And you're a college graduate?"

"Obvious you say! I didn't see any hint of him being so!"

"Wow for being someone who should know better, you're reacting really badly. Is it that big of a deal? Poor kid probably has a complex now. Or if he already had one, a large sized one now."

"You didn't tell him about us did you?" That was the last thing Alan needed was Ian to haunt Billy with his past relationship with Alan no matter how uneventful and dull it was.

"No I didn't tell him. Oh do you think I should have? I bet it would have caused a jealous uproar in him and he'd finally do something about those feelings of his about you. You know he's in love with you right?" If Ian could see Alan's jaw drop open and eyes widen, maybe he wouldn't have asked. As this conversation went on, Alan was getting sort of irritated at how much everything was starting to fall into place, like puzzle pieces falling from the ceiling into their form perfectly. Another of those times when everyone knew something he didn't and lord how he hated those moments.

"He's in love with me? Why am I not surprised to hear that?"

"Because you're in love with him and are too stubborn to realize it?" It was very lucky that Ian was in California and not beside Alan for the older man felt a slight case of abuse coming on. Abuse in the form of beating Ian up with something blunt and heavy.

"I am not in love with him! He's my student and that alone makes it wrong!" How loud would he have to yell to convince himself that it was wrong? How much more could he pretend that he wasn't interested in Billy and how long would Billy have to suffer because he, himself, wasn't able to face the fact that he cared a lot about the youth other than being his student? When would Billy just give up and go away... like he just did?

"You know he's not really your student. He hasn't been your student for a year now. He's there because you made him department assistant so he's your coworker more than your student. It's just easier for you to call him your student so you don't have to think about the obvious."

"Ian I'm very close to just hanging up on you-"

"Something happened didn't it? I can tell by t he way you're acting." Alan couldn't stop from breaking down and telling Ian from the incident at the funeral to Billy's kiss that previous night. This entire thing was so childish; a 41 year old man having to suffer the same pointless crushes and gossip as a youth in highschool. Times like this made him wish that Vera was still alive so that he would never have to worry about romance again.

"I don't know if I want a relationship with him. Do you know how complicated things would become?"

"Alan, what's Billy's shoe size?" Alan silenced himself for a second at the rather off topic question but quickly answered it with size 11.

"Is he allergic to anything?"

"Vanilla. It burns his throat and the smell makes him get short of breath. What's your point?"

"Another one, how much does he pay on his cell phone each month?"

"Last month was about 67 dollars. Ian why are you asking me all these inane questions?"

"Aren't you in the least surprised that you could answer each one of them without hesitation? Do you even remember what Ellie's clothing sizes were? Or her allergies? Or even anything aesthetic like what perfume she wore or her favorite color lipstick? You two are practically married as it is. Billy knew things about you not even I knew! The only thing that would be different is that you two wouldn't be so damn whiny about your feelings for each other if you actually gave in and started seeing each other romantically."

Rain started to hit the window now and it wasn't much of a surprise to anyone in Port Angeles. Only Alan really noticed it and took note because that meant Billy was out in it somewhere with no jacket getting drenched. And there it was, wasn't it? Alan thinking of Billy like a fretting wife. This had gone on for so long that he never noticed it when he responded that way. Maybe he should hang up and go out looking for him. Then maybe take him out for breakfast... then maybe tell him that he's a complete idiot and that he really wanted to kiss him back too. Wanted to kiss him and hold him and tell him to stay with him for many years to come.

Alan heaved a pained sigh and finally swallowed that disgusting taste of pride and moral objection to allow the real taste of the emotions he thought had died years ago to flow back in. He could love but he was not one to love out loud. People complained about how slow he was at things when it came to romance and love; it took him three years after meeting Vera to finally propose to her and that was after several dozen hard hitting hints were dropped his way. A year was how long it took Billy to weasel his way into the older man's heart and now it seemed too hard to push him out, not when he liked where Billy was right now.

"(There is a heavy sigh over the receiver and Alan remembers Ian is still on the phone) Well while you're off in the big no where, mind if I ask if you're still coming to my place next weekend?"

"Say again?" Why on Earth would he opt to agreeably go to Los Angeles and stay with Ian?

"Oh, you're lucky you're attractive. You have the brains of a teenage girl. Remember that next week after finals you were going to start looking for sponsors for the next year's dig? You said you would come see me and stay with me for four days, then head to Ellie's for a day just to visit then continue your rounds. Or did you forget that?"

"I must have. I've been so preoccupied with coming here that I've forgotten the finals next week. I don't deal with them but I do like to give final lectures before the actual test. Great, I'm going to have to worry about that too."

"Try not to worry so much. You need to relax."

"Easier said than done. I'm going to let you go now Ian. I'm going to go find Billy." Alan shut the phone before he even let Ian respond. In California, a very dark man sat on his leather couch snickering to himself and enjoyed the rest of the eclair that had been sitting on his coffee table for the last thirty minutes.

He should have brought a coat. Why hadn't he thought of bringing his leather jacket like he always did? No, now he walked from the house to the car getting drenched from just the twenty feet he had to walk. It being a half hour later from when Billy had left, Alan could only imagine what state he would be in after walking for so long in this weather. He'd be drenched. It was a good thing Alan brought towels since he knew that would most likely be the result.

For several blocks, there was only one main street with a few houses scattered here and there. Mostly it was open land with large yards and many trees: heavy fog was strung through the trees like cotton pulled from tall evergreen to tall evergreen. He drove through this shadowy town until he realized that Billy did not want to be found. Billy would know all the back roads and trails that all youth would memorize from the moment they were able to go out on their own without their parents. In dismay, Alan parked the Taurus on the side of the road and laid his head against the steering wheel. Hearing the rain pelt the metal of the exterior calmed Alan enough but worried him as well. Billy was still somewhere out in this without his cell phone and highly underdressed for the weather.

Alan glanced at his watch which read 7:22 a.m. Billy had been gone for nearly an hour or so and he had been driving for twenty minutes now with no sign of his partner. Would this be the last time Alan would drive him away? That was just something that happened to him after Vera's death: he would push people who cared about him far enough away so that he wouldn't suffer. It happened with Ellie and, to a lesser degree, happened with Ian. Anyone in-between wasn't important enough to be remembered though he highly doubted there were any in-between-ers. You always hurt the ones you love because you love them so much. You love them enough to hurt them, to tell them the bitter and brutal truth, to force what's good for them upon them and to do the painful when it's best for them. Alan pushed Billy away because he didn't think he would be good for him. A youthful, 27 year old didn't need a man 14 years his senior as a lover especially not when this youth was still able to do something impressive with his life.

"Probably just... just admiration run amuck. He'll grow out of it." Alan muttered while starting the engine again and turning around to go back to Samantha's home. At this moment, he wanted nothing more than to sleep and Samantha, who was watering some plants that could not get the proper rain they needed due to the roof hanging over them, did not attempt to stop him with questions since she could clearly see his exhaustion written on his face.

Directly from the kitchen to his room, Alan disappeared for hours in a moment's time. He slept holding onto the pillow Billy was sleeping on since he could smell him on it so strongly. The phone didn't ring and there was no noise in the house, not even a sound when Samantha and Sean left for the will reading. Of course they didn't leave Burke alone while Alan slept; no they invited Megan to babysit which she did with no complaint. What woke Alan from a rather interesting dream of he and Billy on some beach in, his best guess was Hawaii, their swimming shorts enjoying colorful drinks served by rather tame compies was the smell of dinner being cooked. His watch told him he had slept about 9 hours since the previous night was hardly a sleep filled one.

It was 5 p.m. now and Alan could assume safely that Billy still hadn't returned home for it was far too quiet for there to be any indication that he had returned. Out on the floor in front of the couch was Burke, a book open in front of him and the television playing as well. In the kitchen was a gentle singing in a language Alan did not recognize. He began thinking that taking more foreign languages would be a must in order to remain apart of this family in any way.

"Hello?" asked Alan a moment after entering the kitchen. Standing in front of the stove was the same woman from the first night and who had attended the funeral the previous day. Alan remembered that her name was Megan and smiled warily when she turned around and smiled at him.

"Hello, you must be Alan Grant, Billy's advisor. Sami and Sean have been gone for about an hour now and should be back soon. I'm not sure when Billy will be home... but I cooked dinner never the less. Are you hungry?" As she stirred the pot slowly, Alan took residence at the kitchen table and Burke quickly joined him. He couldn't deny how hungry he was since he hadn't eaten and the soup Megan dishes for both of them looked excellent.

"Thank you. I've been meeting so many people lately and under such a bad circumstance. I feel like it's a bad omen." remarked Alan between spoonfuls of soup. Megan smiled sadly and nodded in agreement. From her appearance and attitude, the older man could tell how long she had been apart of the family's lives and how much they cared for her and the likewise.

Such a peaceful and calming moment was disrupted by repeated honking from the outside in the darkened evening. Megan stood to look out the kitchen window at who could be causing such a racket but the question was answered by the door swinging open and unleashing a rather deplorable-looking Billy. From head to toe he was soaked and filthy, his face was pale yet splashed red in the cheeks from the cold and probably a few too many beers. Clearly from the accuracy of his walking and the brightness of his eyes, he hadn't drank enough to be completely smashed but it was enough for him to look disheveled. Megan took Burke to the next room so he didn't have to see his uncle in such a state, leaving him alone with Alan.

"Where... where have you been?" asked Alan who still remained stunned over his partner's appearance. Billy laughed a little and wiped the water and dirt from his forehead.

"Found some friends an-and we went out for a bit. Just came whoa (At this moment, Billy tipped a little to the side and was lucky for the kitchen wall to be so close by) came back to grab my coat. It's rainin' out there ya know!" he laughed again as if this was the funniest thing he had ever said. The older man in front of him looked onward and Billy became curious why this guy was coming at him and why he grabbed his arm so roughly.

"He-e-ey... gentle with me..."

"You're going to the spare room and getting in the shower." Alan's voice did a terrible job of hiding his anger. Billy's inebriation didn't seem to notice it.

"But but I gotta car full of friends outside. Can't just ditch them." There was no argument. Alan had already drug the youth into their room while the car horn blared on outside. It was hard to tell what made him more angry: the fact that Billy was slightly drunk or that these morons were still outside waiting for him. With a burst of this pent up anger, Alan pushed Billy to the bed and with a rough glare, hovered over Billy with his finger inches from the youth's chest.

"Shut up. You're staying here. You're going to undress, get in that shower, and not get out until I come back. Got it?" Billy suddenly became sober for the sound in Alan's voice was not one he used often and never was one used on the youth in such a way. He nodded slowly and watched Alan leave the room with a loud slamming of the door the reverberated through the house. As fast as his hands could move, he removed his sticky wet clothing and tried not to bawl while doing so.

Why did it still have to be raining? Alan was getting so sick of the rain and couldn't wait to return to Montana tomorrow and to his dust and to his bones and do that stupid hole in the ground that he considered his life. No more of this babysitting of Billy. At the rate things were going, Alan was growing more and more tempted to just tell Billy to find another place because no matter how much he wanted to be with him, it was becoming harder and harder to deal with not only his own feelings but those of another person.

You're not being fair, he thought to himself. Billy is just doing what he can. If you were there for him, maybe this wouldn't have happened. Isn't that the truth?

A black car with loud music pouring out of the open windows remained parked in the drive but the people inside were screaming out for Billy to hurry his ass up or they would leave without him. Alan continued on to their car and at first he was simply going to tell them to leave but instead, he tripped over a thin tube-like object and gained a better idea. Tracing the tube back to its origins, he turned on the faucet that would make the hose have purpose.

"Hey! Hey tell Billy to come on will ya? We-we're missin' some good shit o'er at this chick's house an-" said someone who was behind the wheel and really shouldn't have been. He was as trashed as the rest of the car and to think that he brought Billy safely home was absurd. Alan stood outside the car with a smirk plastered on his face. Of course, from the driver's view, they could not see him or the object he continued to hold.

"Sorry friends, Billy's staying home tonight. But I think you guys need a little something to be able to get this heap somewhere away from here." said Alan slowly and clearly so the people could almost register his speech while his thumb covered the end nozzle of the hose and causing the water to spray out. He held the hose into the window and drenched the driver, the passenger and nicely soaked the few passengers in the back. Through a slew of curses and insults, they reversed sharply and drove off down the road. This left Alan on his own and he laughed hard in spite of the rain.

Megan asked why he seemed to have tears in his eyes and all Alan could say was that he gave some punks what they deserved and then broke into another fit of laughter as he retired to the back room to change. The matter of Billy was still to be solved and so he decided that needed to be tended to before he could relax himself.

A knock on the door was enough in his opinion to make his presence known and to enter the bathroom without a response. To his surprise, Billy hadn't pulled the shower curtain and was just sitting in the tub with the shower head spraying water onto his back. And to add to his surprise, he was crying into his crossed arms over his bent knees. No amount of tears would make Alan ease up because he was angry and would remain angry until his point was across.

"Do you realize how drunk that entire car was? Did you even think that you could have gotten killed just by driving home with those morons? And why did you go out and not tell anyone where you were going or even think of taking your cell phone? We were all worried and not to mention I was out for a half hour or more searching up and down roads I don't know for you? Have you any idea what-"

"I don't know who said it first." started Billy as he interrupted Alan who at first was angry but continued to listen for the possibility of an explanation. "Whoever it was knew what they were talking about. You have something awful happen to you and you cry and scream but it doesn't seem to work. All you want to do is... is make something beautiful happen. That's when you need it the most. That's when you see what you've always wanted and actually get the guts to do something about it. I thought..."

"...kissing me would be something beautiful?" Alan could relate because he remembered how he stayed up all night that morning Vera and Aeryn died just so he could see the sunrise in Whales for what felt like the first and last time. That beauty, as cloudy and cold as it was, is something he could never forget. He watched Billy nod into his forearms and rub his palms up and down the sides of his arms.

"Yeah. Might as well be honest now. I've wanted to kiss you for a long time now. I've been in love with you for just as long; if not longer. And I'm not just a stupid kid with a crush. I've never loved anyone as much as I have you and it's not because I'm feeling weird because of my mom's death or anything like that. I just never realized how far you were willing to go for me and how far I'd be willing to go for you. I didn't have the courage to do anything about it until my dad ruined your perception of me. Maybe I thought that if I acted, I'd have nothing to loose. Shit... (His sobbing returned) if I had known I would have just-" Alan stopped him by sitting on the edge of the tub and caring little that more water was hitting him. At least this water was a warm change from the cold outside.

"Billy... (Alan could hardly believe he was doing this but he wanted to perform a small experiment.) Tell me, what's my favorite book?" Billy looked up at him with red eyes but rubbed the back of his neck with his hand.

"1984. Why?"

"And my favorite movie?"

"You always liked that Frequency movie though I don't know when's the next time we'll be able to watch that together. Don't think I could for awhile..."

"Where's my favorite place in the world?" Alan couldn't repress his smile. Billy smirked and looked past him to the white tile.

"That place we went last summer. Somewhere between Pittsburgh and Allentown when we were going for sponsors. We were on that side of the road and there was this huge empty field just filled with yellow wheat. You wanted to stop and I said some redneck would come out and shoot us if he found us in his field. But we stopped anyway and we just laid there in that field for what an hour? You told me places like that were your favorite in the world. How could I forget something like that?"

"Because you love me. (At this moment, Alan took Billy's arms in his hands and lifted him up in the shower so that both were standing and facing each other. Billy began to blush knowing that he was completely naked and probably still smelled like a bar but Alan didn't seem to care) I was able to answer the same kind of questions about you too, ya know. Why do you think that is?" Alan brought Billy close to his chest so that they could feel one another's heartbeats. Billy's was noticeably faster than Alan's at the moment.

"Because... cause..."

"Because... I'm pretty sure I love you too." Alan smiled as he said this because his system felt so relieved and pleased once the words were out. Maybe that's how it's supposed to feel. Billy's eyes looked all over Alan's face for any sign of falsehood but found none. So now he smiled and shut his eyes to laugh lightly.

"And here all this time I just thought you were a bright one." Together they laughed softly and their faces moved closer. Billy quickly kissed just below Alan's lower lip and looked at him shyly and with his eyes asked for a better kiss than the one he just offered. Alan brought his lips to Billy's for the first time as they both consented to a much better kiss. Sweet, soothing and much desired after so long of ambiguity and trial. Alan didn't want this kiss to end ever; he showing this by running his hands through Billy's wet hair and pulling him as close as they could be without losing the ability to breath. That was still too far away. What broke them apart was a knocking at the main bedroom door.

"Billy? Alan? Are you two in?" Samantha called through the doors. She must have just gotten home for she sounded stiff and not yet relaxed. There was also a certain level of excitement in her voice. Billy called over the shower.

"Yeah we're in the shower!" Possibly not the brightest thing to yell since it did sound a little naughty when one thought back about it but he didn't think before speaking. Alan shook his head and covered his mouth to keep from laughing.

"When you two are done will you come to the kitchen? I have something important to tell you!" she yelled again through the thick door and it was clear that she barely took notice of Alan and Billy in the shower. They both yelled back an 'Ok!' and turned to look at each other.

"She doesn't suspect a thing." laughed Billy.

"Of course not." The older man put his hand on Billy's cheek and gave him another kiss before leaving the bathroom. A bit of stereotypical perverted action took place before leaving as Alan looked over his shoulder to maybe catch a glimpse of the younger man's rear. Of course, fate played a mean joke and said 'no' so that by the time he turned, Billy had already entered the shower again and shut the shower curtain. It served Alan right for being a peeper.

They had changed into more comfortable clothes and were all sitting around the table. Samantha nervously fingered an envelope, large and brown colored, and tried to think of where to begin. In her mind, the envelope was horrible but wonderful at the same time.

"Mom's will was read. She... she was quite generous to us. I couldn't believe when the lawyer read what was written. Billy... mom left us each 75 thousand dollars. She had an account that Dad couldn't access from when she was still working. (Samantha took this time to pass over the envelope to Billy who took it in his hand and shakily held it) From what was said... she also left you the deed to the house. Dad has to move out as soon as possible. (The young woman wiped away a few tears that remained on her cheeks) She left Dad out of everything Billy. He has to take care of himself now. He hardly is apart of this family anymore. Mom gave us everything she ever had."

"I don't want it." He slid the envelope back over to Samantha but it remained in the middle of the table. She nodded, knowing he would say this.

"Included with her will was a letter to you. Here." Another piece of paper met Billy's hands and he trembled while reading his mother's handwriting. It had gotten so messy as she had gotten sicker but he managed.

Billy,

I know how much you hate that house which is why I'm giving it to you.

You and Samantha can sell it, burn it, wreck it and do whatever you wish to it.

But I want my babies to have my small offerings. You can live happily now.

I always was proud of you. I hope you know that.

Don't worry baby. We'll see each other again. Just remember that

I love you and Samantha very much.

With love,

Mama.

P.S. You better smile. You have such a handsome smile. I'd hate to think I'm making you frown

So smile for me, ok?

Billy held the letter close to his chest and smiled through his tears. The house he had hated for years could finally go away. It held nothing now, just memories that he could have anywhere of his mother. His father was gone from his life for good now and nothing could make him happier. And his mother, the woman who always supported him and loved him so much was resting for the first time in all the years she had been so sick.

It was brutally beautiful. Savagely relaxing. Awfully wonderful.

"What do you want to do brother?" The sister reached across the table and took her brother's hand and stroked it gently.

"I want it sold. Maybe another family will get a new set of memories in that place. I want to get all of Mom's stuff and bring it here. Then we'll sell the house and split the money. I think that's what Mom would have wanted." The agreement was silent but somehow, a peaceful feeling fell over them. Everything was over but nothing had ended. There no longer was need to worry and now, they sat smiling with the fondest thoughts of their mother. After several silent minutes, Billy wiped his eyes and smiled.

"I think we should go out to dinner. I'm starving."

The next day led them back home with many hugs exchanged from the family. Billy promised never to stay away for so long again and that come Christmas he and Alan would both be in Washington. Neither man had to say that something happened between them to Samantha nor Sean because the obvious nature of it was so apparent on their faces that saying anything would just be pointless. They didn't need to hold each other's hands or kiss continuously to say that there was a sudden weight lifted off of them and that their lives changed little from when they arrived. Things just moved easier and seemed more fluid than before and as Alan and Billy boarded their flight back to Montana, Samantha could see Billy's hand sneak into Alan's arm. That boy was always one for close interaction and Alan didn't mind.

She felt more relieved letting him go back to Montana now than she would have been before. The woman turned to her own husband and walked the opposite direction from the flight terminal.

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Author's Note: Last chapter for this book! Hurrah! I did it! I'm so sorry this was utterly late in arrival but I had a good reason! I've been busy packing and getting ready to move on the 27th. Hopefully I'll have chapter 1 of book 2 up before then but that is uncertain.

I really hope everyone liked this first book. It's almost 50,000 words which is the longest story I've ever written and to think this is just book 1 is insane. Books 2 and 3 are going to be more action filled not only with Billy and Alan but with plot. Next book will be based upon the movie which means I'll get to watch the movie repeatedly so that I stay with the story line XD

Before I start the second book, I do want at least three comments for this chapter or in general telling me that you guys will read a book 2 if I decide to write it. I'm going to be starting college in 3 weeks and I'm also doing a comic book commission Believe it or not, I'm an artist first, a writer second so my time is limited. I won't write the second book unless I know there are some people out there going to read it. I know this sounds harsh but that's the best way I can harness my time.

Love to my fans and hooray for Alan's realization!