Welcome back!
Here is another chapter of this story. This one is a bit different as not much action is happening but I found it pretty difficult to write it regardless. There is a lot going on 'inside' the characters and I hope I manage to picture it well enough. All three of these characters are rather old so not all of their thoughts and beliefs are that evident. I know the Irelia rework is coming up and I don´t know if I´ll incorporate it in the story or not, but we´ll see when that happens.
As always feedback and comments are apreaciated!
Enjoy!
The sun burnt down mercilessly as Sejuani and Quinn prepared or their departure of the Shuriman camp. Shorly after the ascendant had informed them about their next destination, both of the women had reunited with their respective companion. Bristle was suspicious of the soldiers and almost gored one of them to death after they had freed him from his restrains. Luckly Sejuani managed to calm the beast down fast enough so nobody got hurt. She was relieved to see him still healthy and alive. It had been the frist time for years that both of them had been seperated by force. The boar was equally happy to meet the Freljordian again. To Sejuani Bristle was the one 'friend' that she could always count on.
She was just about finished with putting the rest of her own stuff together when a young shuriman man approached her. He wore only light armor and it seemed that he was just a recruit. In his hands however rested a beautiful weapon.
"Are you the northern warrior that saved our captain Sivir?" He asked, uncertainty in his voice.
"I fought my way out of the battle together with her, if thats what you mean." Sejuani just answered. She knew Sivir would be dead without her but she still carried a lot of respect for her to be able to hold on that long.
"Y-Yes, we... I mean, we are very grateful for your help. Sivir is the Chief of our mecenary group. Many of us wouldn´t know what to do without her."
"It´s really not that great of a deed. Just be sure to help her out next time instead." Sejuani felt a little uncomfortable in this conversation. She always felt akward when people praised her for what she had done, so she just wanted to be done with it.
"Please accept a token of our gratitude!" He held out the weapon Sejuani had noticed before. It was a short sword with a beatiful hilt. Gems were worked into it and the blade looked polished and sturdy. It was certainly a work of exceptional craftsmanship. "It´s one of our best blades our group has to offer. We hope you are pleased with it."
"No, it´s alright. You don´t need to thank me that much." Sejuani never asked for praise or a reward.
"No, we must insist that you take it. It´s the least we can do to thank you for what you have done." He was really persistent and Sejuani was not in the mood to argue with him. She grabed the weapon by the hilt.
"Alright I accept it." She reluctanly said.
"I wish you save travels and thank you once again. You´ve really done something great today." He did a deep bow, turned arround and slowly walked away. Her eyes followed him for a while before she returned to her own tasks. Most of her stuff was still in good condition, only some of her furs had been severly damaged when the shurimans had raided their camp.
There were other things that troubled the Freljordian. This day had shown just how fragile Irelia´s condition was and frankly Sejuani didn´t know what she would have done if not for Nasus. They needed to hurry now more than ever, Bilgewater was about a month of travel if they were lucky. Nasus had given Irelia one month at max so they had not even one moment to spare. He also advised one of them to always to stay near the Ionian and never leave her by herself. Sejuani took it upon herself to be the one to do this but Quinn objected and they decided to share this 'duty'. Sejuani still felt responsible for the Ionian, she had fought alongside Sejuani without asking any question or caring where she came from. Irelia herself was still aslept and Nasus told them she would not wake up before the next day. Even so they could not afford to spend the night in the Shuriman camp. Initially Sejuani wanted to explore a bit of the camp and look how Sivir was doing. She wasn´t really liking the her, but respected her as a warrior. But the situation made it necessary to change her plans. Nasus even prepared one of the Shuriman vessels to bring them to Piltover, one of their stops on their journey to Bilgewater. He explained that Azir had willed it to help them after Sejuani had saved Sivir from death, but they did not meet the Emperor of the Sand Empire in person.
About three hours later the Freljordian stood at the railing of the ship that brought them to the City of Progress, as Piltover was called. The water was crystal clear and the city of Bel´Zhun was already getting smaller by the minutes. Black smoke still emerged from it and Sejuani reckoned that by next day the siege was gonna be over. Bristle had been extremely dissatisfied to be on a boot so soon again. But this time he didn´t make as much of a fuss as last time. Quinn was currently staying by the Ionians side so Sejuani had some time for herself, to order her thoughts. She still could not make sense of what happened after she had saved Sivir. Was it really as simple as to say: "Quinn´s just a nice person, she cares about everybody."? She was not really sure. When they were still in Demacia, Sejuani had seen that Quinn still harboured resent towards the Ionian for slaughtering the villagers. Did she just push these feelings aside or was there more to it? Had she left Irelia on purpose or was Quinn really that worried about her? Sejuani hated that she didn´t know the answers to these questions. A sign escaped her mouth, she just wasn´t cut out for relationships.
What she knew however was her own feelings. Of course she had noticed the excitement when Quinn had hugged her. Sejuani was not a romantic person by any means, but somehow she wanted to experience something like that again. On the other hand, even if she accepted her own feelings, she didn´t know if Quinn even slightly returned those. Besides, her experiences had shown just how weak feelings made somebody. It was one thing to care about the people you were traveling with, but having a deeper relationship was something else. The Freljordian was prepared should something happen to either Quinn or Irelia, she had lost countless people who fought and followed her before after all. They were dead by now but Sejuani felt nothing but respect for them, there was no sadness involved. All of them had known the consequences of chosing to follow her and be part of the Winter´s Claw. The only thing she really regreted was not being the leader they had deserved. That being said, she would try to help Irelia to find a cure, but not hesitate a moment to kill her if they failed. As for Quinn, Sejuani did not know what to make of the situation, she didn´t even know how long she would choose to tag along. She was just some freelancer from Demacia after all. The only thing she knew was, that letting herself get carried away was only gonna cause problems for herself.
The sun slowly slid over the horizon and made place for a full moon and a sky full of stars. Their light was reflected on the water and it seemed the ocean itself was glowing with light. It reminded her of the night right before the calamity, the sky had been so clear that night and the air was full of anxiety and expectations. She knew that she had to return someday, even if only to pay respect for her soldiers, but she also knew that she wanted see some other places as well. Somehow the journey had sparked her curiosity. What was there to see in this world?
She took a few steps back and turned arround. The Captain, Sejuani had already forgotten his name, was standing behind the helmsman a spyglass in his hands. He was pretty young for his postition and carried two small swords at his sides. It was about time she headed for the cabins, she had promised Quinn to watch over Irelia during the night. Well she had just made that decision by herself, not that it mattered. She also hoped to get some answers out of Quinn about what happened today. Both had been so busy preparing for their journey, so there had been no time for a proper conversation. The air inside the ship was stuffy and the sound of waves punding on the hull echoed through the rooms. As the ship was rather small and the crew was only the three women and four Shurimans, there wasn´t really much place for rooms or cargo. Sejuani, Quinn and Irelia had gotten one seperated part of the ship, which was only a couple of square-meters, but it was enough for all of them. Bristle was kept in the back with the cargo and a substantial amount of hay and fruits. The rest of the ship was the Captains cabin, the armory, a small kitchen and the cabins for the rest of the crew.
Sejuani could hear two of the sailsmen in the kitchen, they were probably drinking. She made a short detour to cargo room to look if Bristle was alright. He was munching away at some hay and looked pretty satisfied, considering he hated being on ships. She kept him company for a couple of minutes before she went to Quinn and Irelia. She stoped before the shanky looking door and took a deep breath. Why was she so nervous now? This wasn´t like her at all. Without letting any of her thoughts futher unsettle her, she opened the door.
"Hey, how is Irelia holding up?" She tried to sound as normal as possible.
Quinn looked up a bit surprised. "Oh, hello. She seems fine to me. I didn´t expect you so soon, is it dark already?"
"Yep, almost half an hour already." The Freljordian just answered. "You can go to sleep if you want to, I´ll keep watch on her."
"I need some fresh air. I´m gonna head out for a while." Quinn was quickly standing up and heading past the Freljordian to the door.
"Wait, I really want to talk to you about what happened today. You didn´t tell me exactly what was happening between you and Irelia."
"Well, I don´t want to. See you later." Without another word she was already out the door. Sejuani was baffled. 'What the fuck was that?' She stormed out the door behind the Demacian.
"WAIT! Are you kiding me?!" She yelled in Quinn´s direction. The Demacian stopped in her tracks and turned arround, visibly annoyed. 'Have I done something wrong?'
"That´s what I should be asking you. I don´t know you lived up there in the North but it´s just not normal for someone to try and kill themselves!" Sejuani could very well feel the emotions that Quinn had put into her voice.
"What are you talking about?!"
"You still don´t get it? You go after a shuriman Captain who you don´t know shit about and who is fighting a losing battle without concern for your own life?" That´s what she was going on about?
"You´re still going on about that?" Hadn´t she already apologised for that?
"Of course! You can´t expect me to go like: 'Oh, you made it out alive and you totally won´t do something like that again! Well that´s fine!' " Quinn clenched her fists just starring at Sejuani in anger. Sejuani was surprised to see her that enraged about that. But still why was she obsessing over that?
"You can´t command me arround! I make my own decisions! Look why are you making a fuss about this, all went well didn´t it?"
"Seriously, you really have no clue about relations between people. I don´t command you to do it neither do I doubt your decisions. But I ask you to consider your friends feelings for a moment. Did you ever have friends in the Freljord? And I mean friends not subordinates." What kind of Question was that?
"What?" Sejuani asked mildly annoyed. A smirk formed on Quinns face and she put her hands on her hips.
"Just as I thought." This conversation was really wearing Sejuani out, didn´t Quinn have anything better to do than scold her about friendship. Besides there was not benefit from having a friendship to another person. Eventually everyone betrays you or uses you for their own benefit. Bristle had always been the only real friend she had.
"I didn´t need friends in the Freljord and certainly not now, because I´m strong. My warriors didn´t follow me because I was their friend, no. They followed me because I was strong. And Irelia..." She hesitated for a second."...she will not overcome this curse because we are her 'friends'. She will only survive if she is strong enough. That´s the rule of survival: Be strong and earn your right to live, or see your life fall to ruin because you are too weak. Trust me you are tested countless times in your life. If you fail one time you lose everything, but if you win, you can gain anything." Sejuani was sure she was right. She had experienced these tests herself. She had lost one time, but she was not gonna lose again.
Quinn just shook her head in disbelief. "You don´t even know how wrong you are! There is more to-"
"SHUT UP! I will not argue with you about this!" Her voice echoed through the entire ship and Quinn had taken a step back because she was shocked by the sudden outburst of the Freljordian. Sejuani knew she had gone too far. The Demacian turned arround. "No, Quinn wait! I didn´t mean to..." But she was already running through the next door.
Quinn was pissed. She wanted to destroy something right now. It had been quite a long time since she had been enraged that much. As much as she liked Sejuani and her abilities as much hated she her attitude sometimes. It felt like she was arguing with a ten year old. Sejuani never admited the faults in her logic and blindly followed her own rules without thinking about them. It felt so infuriating to try to convince her otherwise. She had really feared for the Freljordians life when she just rushed off on her own. She had even risked Irelia going insane just to get to Sejuani. But the only thing she did was just say a simple 'sorry'. Quinn reckoned she wouldn´t even hesitate a second to do the same shit again. She noticed her eyes going watery but she did not allow herself to cry or even shed one tear.
Quinn walked up to the railing the ocean before her reaching seemlingly endless till the horizon. It offered a blurry reflection of the sky itself. She slammed one of her fists on the wood as hard as she could. Of course there was no effect except the pain that flowed through her hand immediatly. But Quinn didn´t really mind it, she felt so conflicted in what to do. On the one hand Sejuani was not the enemy the people in the capital had made her out to be, on the other hand it was such a pain to deal with the Freljordian from time to time. The Freljordian had basically admitted that she did not see Quinn nor Irelia as friends and that somehow hurt Quinn.
She remembered back in her time as a rookie in the military she had had lots of arguments with her superiors too. She had been way more reckles during that time and often acted purely on instinct without planning ahead. But she had always tried to understand the other side of the coin. Sejuani didn´t even try to do that, she just believed her own logic to be right.
There was also the issue with Irelia. Quinn felt terrible for what she did to her. The one time Irelia had demanded something from her she had just left her on her own. Maybe it was even her fault that she had so little time left to find the cure she so desperatly needed. Quinn didn´t know how to confront the Ionian about this or how to apologize. Her own feelings had gotten the better of her once more. But dispite Sejuani being still alive Quinn didn´t feel happy at all. She had just had an argument with one of her friends and forsaken the other when she needed her. Today had been a shitty day, not to metion she failed to get Talon when she had the chance to.
Quinn gazed up into the sky. Endless and enormous it loomed over the scenery, always posing more questions than there could be answers. The three of them would reach Piltover next and Quinn knew she had to write a report back to the captial soon. Demacia and Piltover had complicated but good relations although the captial often critized the exploitation of Zhaun to get to resources and new technology. Zhaun was basically the slums of the city of Progress and people were mercilessly used as working tools or test subjects there. The smog of the chemtech industry flooded most of Zhaun and the streets were not a save place during the night. Only the refined and usefull inventions made it to the upper city parts, where the air was fresh and the streets clean. Quinn knew there was a demacian embassy in Piltover and such it would be quite easy to get a message back to the captial via some carrier pigeons. She just hoped the higher ups would refrain from issuing a kill-command. She already made it quite clear the Sejuani was not a threat to Demacia at the moment but she did not know much about the politics going on so anything could happen.
As her eyes wandered through the night sky she thought back to the moment when she had just instinctly hugged Sejuani after her return from the battle. She had felt so embarassed about that so she did not bring it up before her. But it had felt so good. She remembered the scent of dirt and northern furs, but also the warmth of the northern warrior and the strong but steady beat of her heart. Sejuani had been overwhelmed by her action and she had not reacted to it at first. If Sejuani had asked her on the spot why she´d done that, Quinn wouldn´t have known how to answer her. But Quinn knew that she had wished this moment could carry on forever. She didn´t know how to continue with her feelings though. Just let them be and tell Sejuani the truth? Quinn shook her head at this thought. The Freljordian would probably laugh at her, Quinn wasn´t even sure Sejuani had ever harboured strong feelings for anyone after the incident with her father. But her previous solution was obviously not working out, she knew that she truly liked the former Warlord. These feelings were different like any she had before. She wanted to spend time with the Freljordian, be at her side at any time. Quinn let out a loud sigh.
'Why is the world so cruel sometimes?'
Sejuani knew she just fucked up. She had fucked up big time. But wasn´t she the one that was right? Or was she? Sejuani sat by Irelia´s side on a small wodden chair. It had been about half and hour since Quinn had stormed off. The Freljordian could not bring herself to follow the Demacian. She had already done enough damage for today, so she had decided to talk to Quinn properly in the next morning. This time without any yells and screams and run-offs. After the abrupt end of their conversation Sejuani knew she had spewed out a lot of nonsense. Of course Quinn was upset. Sejuani had practically yelled in her face that she didn´t need nor want friends. This was true to an extend but she had said the wrong things. She trusted both Quinn and Irelia and appreaciated their company. But she was afraid of too close relationships.
Sejuani had tricked herself into beliving that Quinn and Irelia were not her friends, which was a lie of course. They had been friends since they departed from Demacia to Noxus. She had lied to herself that both of them were nothing more than travel companions. But the concern she had shown for Quinn earlier or now for Irelia were proof enough. They weren´t just travel companions, they were probably the frist friends she had in a long time. Both of them did not seem to care what her own story was and accepted her how she was.
And what had Sejuani done? Thrown herself into battle without any help, leaving Quinn alone with a weak Irelia. Of course it was difficult for the Demacian to stay calm when one of her friends was going crazy and the other on was charging into battle alone head first. Sejuani had always believed that friends made one weak and only exploited each other for profit. But nothing of the sort was happening here. Irelia was strong, Sejuani had seen that when they met the first time. She was plagued by this horrible curse, but always tried to fight it. Quinn was also strong, she lived in the wild for many years and survived without problems. She herself had been strong in the past, she had proven that countless times. Though she was not so sure at the moment. All she had done the past months was running from her problems.
All of them were reasonably strong and had nothing to gain from the other. Quinn and Sejuani supported Irelia in her quest to find a cure but did so out of their free will.
'Has my logic been wrong all this time?'
She had survived so long following her simple rules but she was struggling right now. But if her logic had been wrong all this time what had she done her all her life? She had killed countless times in the name of the things she had believed in. Had all these death been unnecessary?
'No! I have done the right things during that time!'
But that meant she was doing things wrong at the moment. But Sejuani didn´t feel as tough she was. What was right and what was wrong? At one point Sejuani had no idea anymore. Suddenly the candle that had lighted up the room burnt out. The Freljordian was engulfed in darkness and somehow felt helpless. She was lost in an endless sea of questions and Sejuani just had not answers for them. Maybe if she´d talk to Quinn again tomorrow she would find at least some answers.