Hello again guys. So I haven't posted for quite a few days, but I have been so, so, so busy, you can't even imagine. My grandma was just moved into a hospice, so things are pretty emotional for me right now. On top of that I have exams in University, and my job. So I've been staying up until 1 almost every night, and waking up at 6.

And, one last thing: Comments. Thank you to all of those who comment. I'm sorry I don't reply to all of them, but I do read each and every one. I really appreciate them, and they do encourage me to write more. So thank you to all those who have been commenting, and to those who may comment in the future.

Disclaimer: twilight belongs to S.M.

"Sorry" by "Buckcherry"

I had a lot to say

Was thinking on my time away

I miss you and things weren't the same

Cuz everything inside

It never comes out right

And when I see you cry

It makes me wanna die

***

We arrived in Seattle at 7:30 PM. I walked as quickly as possible through the airport—as quickly as was possible for a human. I was dying to run at an inhuman speed to my Bella. Carlisle and Esme walked behind me, acting as though they were in no rush. I glanced around frantically looking for Bella, but she was no where I could see. Each second that passed made me more and more impatient. I was almost jittery with anticipation, and had been this way since boarding the plane in Australia.

Neither Carlisle nor Esme had been very happy with me. They were furious that I had caused Bella pain, once again. I couldn't blame them the least bit; I hated myself for acting so irrationally. There had been only one thought in my mind after hearing Bella's voice while she dreamt. Get away. The ache in my chest had been so fierce that I could barely keep from falling. But what was I supposed to think when she said, as clearly as if she were awake, that she couldn't marry me? Was I supposed to know she felt otherwise?

Again, it was stupid of me to run to another continent. I should have waited until morning to talk to her. I was so undeserving of this girl, yet she still wanted me more than I could ever understand. But really, who could have known what she was really dreaming about that night? Only her. And I planned to ask her about it today.

Suddenly two hands were on my shoulders, squeezing with vampire strength. I looked down into the furious black eyes of Alice.

"You are so lucky we are in a place with witnesses," she hissed, tightening her grip on me.

"Alice," I said pleadingly. "I'm so sorry—"

"Oh, save it," she growled, cutting me off. "It's always the same thing with you. God, you're so selfish some times, Edward."

"I know—" I tried again, but Alice refused to listen to me.

"Don't even talk to me right now, Edward," she warned through clenched teeth. "One more excuse or apology, and I'll attack you right here."

There was no doubt she was telling the truth. But, despite myself, I sighed. Alice released my shoulders, only to grab my hand and start towing me toward the food court.

"And we'll be talking later," she said in a low voice. "All of us." I swallowed, no longer able to cover up any of the fear I had.

I craned my neck, looking for Carlisle and Esme. They were no where in sight. I looked back at Alice, about to ask where Bella was, but then bit my tongue. She had specifically told me not to speak to her.

"She's at the food court with Jasper. She's been here since the webcam thing, since we didn't know when you were coming back or when your flight would arrive."

I let my head fall forward, ashamed and guilty. Jasper's angry thoughts cut into my mind.

Alice was nothing, compared to what she'll be like tonight Edward.

My head snapped up and I looked toward the direction of his thoughts. My eyes met Jasper's for a quarter of a second, and then they were only for Bella. She sat in a little booth with Jasper, her head resting on his shoulders as she absentmindedly picked at a sandwich. And she look completely and utterly exhausted. I stood in place, completely frozen. My feet wouldn't move.

Jasper touched her arm gently and then pointed at me. Bella suddenly came to life, all the exhaustion leaving her face. Her wide, chocolate eyes met mine, and a huge, breathtaking smile lit up her face. My lips curved up a tiny bit, but I could not find it in myself to give more than a half hearted smile. Yes, I couldn't be more happy to be with her again, but I was also wallowing in guilt and embarrassment.

Bella shot up out of her seat and ran toward me. I opened my arms as she approached me—my feet still refused to move an inch—and she jumped into them with more enthusiasm than I'd ever seen her with. Her arms clung to my neck, and she wrapped her legs around my waist. One of my hands pressed against the small of her back and the other stroked her hair. Quiet sobs broke from her throat, and I felt my heart break at her pain. She didn't deserve all this sorrow I was giving her.

"Shh," I murmured as I continued to stroke her.

"I missed you so much," she whispered, voice cracking. "I thought you'd left for good."

Another piece of my heart broke. "Bella, I…I'm sorry. "

"I forgive you," she whispered. "You'd never leave forever."

When I didn't respond, she looked up at me curiously.

"Right?"

I hesitated. "No," I finally said. "Unless you really didn't want to marry me," I added with a smirk.

She started. "What if it had been different?"

I squinted my eyes in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"What if I didn't want to marry you for other reasons? Like maybe if I was too scared to marry you?" She stared into my eyes as if she were trying to look straight into my soul.

A short laugh escaped my mouth when I thought of Bella being scared of marriage. Her best friends were vampires, after all.

"Well," I said, smiling and trying to lighten the mood. "If you were too scared to marry me, then you wouldn't be fit enough to have seven vampires in your life."

I expected her to laugh, but she didn't. A shocked gasp broke from her lips.

"I don't think you understand what I'm saying," she said, her voice hardening the tiniest bit. "If I didn't want to marry you, but I wanted you to stay with me, you'd leave me?"

"Bella, why are we talking about this?" I asked, starting to become just a little uncomfortable.

"Just answer me, Edward."

I pretended to think about it for a minute, causing Bella's eyes to widen.

"I'd understand if you were too scared to marry me. I wouldn't expect something like that from you—I don't deserve you at all. If you didn't want to marry me, you wouldn't want me to say with you either, whether you knew it consciously or not. So, I suppose I would leave so you could get older and marry someone else." It hurt to say these words, but Bella wanted to know the truth. And that right there truth in its purest, most honest form.

Bella abruptly let go of me and dropped back down to the floor. Her face was carefully expressionless as she stared up at me. I stared back in confusion. Had she not wanted to know the truth?

That complete idiot! Is he really that insensitive?! I turned around and was shocked to see Jasper holding Alice back. She looked about ready to lunge at me.

Carlisle and Esme appeared then. Esme's thoughts were beyond fury. She didn't let it show when she spoke to Bella, though.

"Lets get you home, dear," she said. "I understand Charlie wants to talk to you tonight?"

Bella nodded, looking exhausted again. "Unfortunately, yes."

Esme put an arm around Bella and began to walk toward the parking lot. But I took her hand and pulled her back to me. "Did what I said upset you?" I demanded.

She laughed without humor. "That's an understatement." She started to turn, and I stopped her again.

"I'll take it back, Bella," I said pleadingly. "Would that make you happier?"

"Would your decision change?"

"Well..." I cleared my throat. "No, I…no not exactly. But—"

"Then my answer is no, too."

Esme took her arm and started to drag her along again.

"Bella—" I started to say. Esme turned her head so that she could glare at me.

"She needs to get home, Edward."

Carlisle put a hand on my shoulder and we followed them in silence. He was blocking his thoughts from me, going through a dictionary of medical terms. Alice and Jasper walked behind us, Jasper still keeping a hold on his beloved. All thoughts were being blocked from me, with the exception of Alice, who was shooting profanities at me.

Once we reached the Mercedes, Carlisle and Esme sat in the front. Bella slid into the back first, and just as I was about to follow her in, Alice put an arm out in front of me, blocking my way. She got in first, followed by Jasper. Leaving me to get in last, and disabling me from sitting near Bella.

The car ride home was tense. I did not know what had everyone so angry, but I was smart enough not to ask. I'd know soon enough. Maybe too soon.

As soon as we pulled into Bella's driveway, she opened her door and jumped out.

"Thank you Carlisle and Esme. So much."

They both smiled and nodded. Then Bella closed the door and ran to the door of her house. Seeing her go…I couldn't let her.

I pushed the door of the car open so roughly that it came off and hit the ground with a loud thud. Bella stiffened and turned back to me robotically.

"Edward!" Alice yelled. "Get back in this car or so help me I will—" I barely even listened to her as I ran up the porch steps to Bella. She looked down at her feet. I took her hands in mine and twined out fingers together, trying to make her meet my gaze.

"Bella," I said. She didn't move.

"Bella, please talk to me. I don't know what I did."

She looked at me, finally, angry tears brewing in her eyes.

"Think about it, Edward."

My brow furrowed. I had been thinking about it. For the past half hour.

"Bella, I—"

She held up her hand, and I stopped talking immediately.

"I'm tired. I'm hungry. Charlie wants to talk. And I'm not very happy with you at this moment. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

She turned on her heels and pushed open the door, only to quickly slam it in my face. I stood there like an idiot, trying to put my jumbled mind back together. What just happened?

Turning around, I realized the Mercedes was gone, leaving me to walk home and face whatever was coming.

Alice's POV

"He'll be here in twenty-four seconds," I said in a monotone voice.

Everyone nodded at me. We were all sitting at the dining room table, waiting for Edward to get home. Of course, we never used this table for eating. It was more like a conference room to us. We would definitely be needing it tonight, to deal with Edward's stupidity.

The most annoying part of all this was that he didn't have a clue what he did wrong. Not even an inkling! How could he be so ignorant? God, what would he be like if he was unable to read everyone's mind? Completely oblivious, that's for sure.

The front door slammed close, and Edward's scent whooshed into the house. I took a deep breath, preparing to talk some sense into this boy.

When he entered the dining room, he was wearing his poker face. He sat down in the one chair left, the one across from me, and looked toward Carlisle.

"Alice has the reign in this discussion," Carlisle said to him as he gestured with one hand for me to proceed.

I looked at Edward levelly. "Tell me why Bella's so mad, Edward," I said, not wasting any time.

"Because I left her and said I'd leave if she didn't want me." He had obviously thought his answer through beforehand.

"No. You're wrong."

His brow wrinkled in confusion as he waited for me to give him the correct answer. It was a good try, but I wasn't letting him off that easy.

"Now tell me why we're mad."

"Because I made Bella mad?" His uncertainty made the statement a question.

I shook my head. "Not exactly."

I paused. "Think this through a bit Edward. Why. Are. We. Mad."

He growled and dropped his fist down to the table. "Damn it, Alice! Just tell me."

"Edward," Esme warned.

"God, Edward!" I yelled as I cracked. I couldn't stand his ignorance for a second more. "You're so damn selfish that you can't see why Bella's so hurt! And you're so determined to ruin her happiness as well as your own! You might think you're being noble, but you're just acting as if you're the one who control what does and doesn't happen in Bella's and your relationship! You're being a control freak!"

His jaw dropped a tiny bit. I'd never ever talked to him like that. Then the disbelief disappeared, and he became as angry as me.

"Then TELL ME what I did! I have no flipping clue what it is I've done, and I'm not going to figure it out. So just tell me.

"You get so scared of rejection that you just run, uncaring of what that might do to the people that love you. You think it's your decision whether Bella becomes a vampire or not. You decide whether or not Bella loves you enough to be able to keep you with her. How the hell can you know how much she loves you? You can't."

He hung his head. "I still don't understand exactly why she's upset with me," he said in a low voice.

I stared at him through narrowed eyes for a minute, deciding. He really wasn't getting it. I knew there was something that could give me a bit of leverage, but Bella would be mad if I told him. Ah, what the heck. I'd deal with that later.

"Don't say anything until I'm finished here Edward. Don't move. Alright?"

He nodded cautiously.

"Bella was scared to marry you." He took a small intake of breath. "She's 18 for crying out loud, Edward. And in this time, that's very, very young to get married. And imagine her parents' reactions. They're going to be extremely mad at her. Do you think she wants her parents to be disappointed in her? The main reason she said yes is because she wants you to be happy. She said yes for you. The morning after you left, Charlie found the ring. And Bella completely defended you. She told him she'd move out if he had a problem with you. If that right there doesn't show how much she loves you, I don't know what does. So, she's pissed off because if she had said no, she knows you would have left. Again. No matter what she would have said to change your mind. I think that's one of the reasons she wants to be a vampire. So she can stop you from leaving her when you get too bloody scared."

"Please stop Alice," he whispered so quietly I could barely hear him.

"And you're selfish enough to just leave her when things get to complicated, or to difficult to deal with. You run without a word, too scared to stay any longer."

"Stop it," he whispered again.

"You cannot tell her how much she does or doesn't love you! All you say is, 'Oh, I'm so un deserving of you, Bella'."

"Stop."

"And 'I won't allow you to take your life for me'. And 'Never mind. You can take your life as long as you show me your dedication by marrying me!"

"Alice!" he yelled. "Stop!"

I listened to him this time, and I shut up. He was looking down, his body shaking violently. His breath came quickly, and his hands clenched the table so hard I thought it would break for sure.

We were all silent for a few moments as we gave Edward time to regain his control. I felt a little bad for making him so miserable, but this foolishness had to stop. He was always making things so much more complicated than they needed to be.

He finally spoke. "I don't understand how she could love me that much."

Before I could speak, Carlisle spoke. "Why, Edward? You continue to say that, over and over."

"How can she love me at all? I've killed people. I continue to hurt her. I haven't done anything for her at all. All I am is a nuisance in her life. It just doesn't make any sense to me."

"Edward," Carlisle said, his tone firm. "You're a good person. Everyone makes mistakes. You killed so good, innocent people might live, correct?" Carlisle continued on without an answer. "You hurt her trying to make her happier. And you've given her the most amazing thing in the world. You gave her love." He smiled to himself, thinking. "Love is impossible to explain. It's not something we can control. When we fall in love, it usually causes us confusion, tragedy, and hurt. Yet would we trade it so that we could go back to lives of order, and certainty? No, never would we. Why? Because along with the bad things, come the most wonderful things you could ever ask for in life. Joy, faith, belonging, hope, courage, strength, peace…there's so much it can bring us. It can either enable us to conquer anything, or it can crush us. The interesting thing is that we can usually decide what it will do to us."

Edward stared at Carlisle pensively. I could tell the words were starting to get through to him. Finally.

"You're crushing yourself and Bella, Edward, when you could be flying."

Edward's eyes shut and he took a deep breath.

"It's just so hard for me to believe. I'm trying. But it's hard."

I couldn't help the little growl that escaped my mouth. Edward shot me a look.

"Edward," Esme said. "Think about what's been said. Then, when you're ready, go to Bella and talk to her."

"She'll be wide awake all night, anyway," I added as a vision flashed through my mind. Bella tossing and turning, sitting up and reading, tossing and turning…