A/N: I'm not sure how proud I am of this chapter. More advancement on the Rucas/Liley dynamic to come. Thanks for all of your beautiful reviews!

Enjoy, and happy reading!

Chapter 14: Princess of Optimism

When Riley and Lucas walked into The Grill later that night, the event was already in full swing. Shawn had reserved part of the restaurant closed off from the rest so that the team could enjoy the dinner without the distraction of other people.

The initial greetings were quite awkward for Riley, as she hugged her arms around her body and meekly said 'hello' to all of Lucas teammates, whom she had seen but never met. Almost all of the players had a clever comment about figure skating and she was fairly certain a few of the boys were flirting with her, despite her being next to Lucas.

The restaurant itself was rustic, lighting was low, the walls revealed brown brick, and the tables were thick wooden oak. It was a cozy place. But she felt far from cozy. The events from that afternoon still confused her, and she couldn't help but wonder what Lucas was keeping to himself? Was Mr. Friar and bad person or did she just get a bad vibe off of him. Beside her, she could feel Lucas's gaze sneaking looks at her.

She finally had enough of being a fly on the wall of his conversation.

"I'm going to get a drink," Riley nudged Lucas's arm, as he was mid-conversation with one of his teammates Billy. "Did you want anything?"

"No that's okay, thanks," Lucas gave her an apologetic smile, knowing this wasn't the most comfortable setting for Riley.

She turned around, scoping out the restaurant dinning area, noticing that many of boys had brought a plus one, and the girls were all talking amongst themselves, obviously already well acquainted with each other. Some of them Riley even recognized from the Gala.

Then there was the team, divided into smaller groups, some laughing, others in the midst of much more serious conversations with tense looks. She had a difficult time believing that whatever the boys were actually talking about required such reactions.

Finally, in the back of the room was the bar, which at the moment was abandoned, with the exception of the bar tender who had his back turned to her.

She slid onto the bar stool and observed the menu, even though all she really wanted was a glass of orange juice.

The bartender turned to her, drying off an empty pitcher for beer, and his eye brows rose half an inch.

"I'm going to need to see some ID," he smirked at her.

"Oh - no," Riley said awkwardly, closing the alcohol menu in front of her. "I'm not here for - I mean, I don't want any…" Riley froze wide eyed. "I don't drink," she blurted.

The bartender was quite intimidating, being twice her size, he had wide shoulders and was heavier set.

But his smile was kind, and he could only laugh at her ability to completely butcher the experience. He pulled his baseball cap off his head, revealing his short brown hair and spun it around putting it back on his head so the visor was in the background.

"Well in that case, what can I get for you?" he asked.

Riley had never sat at a bar, or talked to a bartender for that matter, but she never considered how normal one could be. He had to be about 23 years old, but in a place like New York some of the time, bartending went a long way.

"What do you have in the lines of soda?" she asked.

The bartender who had leaned forward closer in her direction, revealed his name tag, Aidan.

"We've got Pepsi, Root Beer, Coca Cola, Sprite," Aidan listed.

"Anything diet? she asked.

"Diet Pepsi?" he offered.

"Sure," Riley nodded, pulling out her wallet.

"You know she's under age, right?" a voice said from behind her. Riley turned on her rear and came face to face with Shawn Hunter.

"He knows," Riley rolled her eyes, turning back to the bartender.

"One Coke and Rum," Aidan grinned, causing Riley to laugh, heat rising up her cheeks in embarrassment.

"He's lying. I ordered a Diet Pepsi," Riley defended herself. "This is a diet pepsi, right?"

Aidan just nodded, taking a step back amused.

Riley went to put a five dollar bill on the counter, but Shawn beat her to it, Aidan swiping the bill from him, and input the transaction into the teller.

"Hey, no. Shawn, come on, why did you do that?" Riley asked.

"It's my job," he replied.

"No it's not. And you shouldn't buy things for me," Riley crossed her arms.

"When was the last time I bought you something?" he looked at her pointedly, waiting for her response.

Shawn was one of her favourite people in the world, and she never held it against him, because it never mattered and she never expected anything. Just his company, and love. That was the way relationships like that worked. Perhaps her father put Shawn up to this. But she couldn't for the life of her recall the last time Shawn purchased anything for her.

"Well, I'm sure that you've done it before. And you shouldn't."

Shawn just shook his head and disagreed. "Does Cory know you're here?" he changed the subject.

Ohhh. He was good.

"Yes. Cory does know."

"How'd you get him to agree to this one?"

"Josh is going to be here." Riley took a sip of her diet pepsi, watching the team interact with Shawn.

This time Shawn actually laughed out loud, causing Riley to narrow her eyes and look back up at Shawn from her drink slowly and discretely.

"He doesn't know about Lucas, does he?" Shawn laughed hysterically.

"He knows as much as he needs to," she glared at him. Knowing that Cory would know more than he needed to by the next day no thanks to Shawn. "Besides, it's not like I'm being that sneaking. Lucas and I are friends. He invited me, his friend, to join his hockey team for a fun night."

"Mhm," Shawn nodded, but his expression told her he disagreed. "I can't wait to see Cory's reaction when I tell him about Lucas."

Riley narrowed her eyes at the older man, it didn't matter what she said. Her father would only hear what he wanted to hear.

"How's it going with Katy?" Riley asked, changing the subject.

"You're not allowed to ask me that," Shawn muttered.

"And you're not allowed to ask me about Lucas, yet here we are," Riley motioned her hand around the room.

The two of them glared at each other, each of them waiting to see the other back down.

"Well isn't this a sight to see," Josh grinned, putting an arm around Riley's shoulder. His arm heavy holding her down.

"How's the team holding up?" Shawn asked him, going back into ultra coach mode.

"They're a bit bummed, some more than others. Only Jack has mentioned quitting," Josh looked over to the far corner of the room and they saw a group of guys, but one of them was leaning against the wall, uninterested and looking at his phone.

"That's too bad, he's a good defence man," Shawn shook his head.

"Why does he want to quit?" Riley piped up.

"We had some scouts from the National Hockey League come today and they gave us warning that they were in the middle of recruitment. Some of the boys were hoping to be recruited."

Riley nodded, not quite understanding, but trying to show her comprehension.

"Do you know what that means Riley?" Josh smirked.

Shawn and Josh watched her with amused eyes, awaiting her response. "Nope."

"The NHL? Come on Riley? Anything?"

"I know what the NHL is dumb ass. You should have just said that. I get it, but every hockey player dreams about the NHL, how many of them actually make it that far."

"Not many," Shawn answered.

"So it shouldn't be a big deal, as long as they knew their odds," Riley replied.

"You of all people should be able to understand having a dream, Riley. We had one shot, everyone got shot down," Josh tried to reason. "We aren't all as lucky as you."

She suddenly felt very awkward, standing there, diminishing their dreams. As if what they dreamed about was any less important than hers. She felt stupid for ever saying anything.

"You're right, I'm sorry," she nodded at him, taking her drink, and once again searching the room for a distraction.

She didn't mean to, but somehow, every conversation seemed to turn around on her. Everyone had something to say to her, about her, to give her the same advice she'd heard a million times.

This was not turning into the fun night she had envisioned.

Instead for the first time in a while, she felt incredibly lonely and burdensome. She came here with Lucas, but Lucas was part of something bigger - a team - and she couldn't put herself in between that, she hardly understood it. All her life, she had spent playing a solo sport and only ever had to rely on herself, no one else. But this entire experience made her wonder if perhaps she'd missed out on something bigger. Like a second family.

"Riley?" a calm voice said gently as a hand grabbed onto her arm. Startled, Riley turned around to come face to face with a tall blonde.

"Jess," Riley breathed out slowly, relieved to see another familiar face.

"I thought it was you," Jess gushed, extending her arms for a hug, taking Riley by surprise. "It's good to see you again."

"You as well," she replied politely. "It's been a while."

"Since the Gala, yeah?"

"I think so," Riley agreed.

"Come on, let's sit and catch up," Jess guided Riley over to the table in the centre of the room and the two of them sat side by side. "And you've been competing a lot lately I've heard, representing New York proudly," the blonde grinned, keeping up the small talk which Riley had never been very good at.

"I guess," she chuckled.

"You guess? Oh honey, if you haven't been doing just that, then I don't know what you've been doing. All of my classmates have been talking about the Nationals coming up and how our little New York filly actually has a chance."

"They have?" she asked wide eyed.

"Oh course, it's been years since we've had a chance at gold. We're all cheering for you Riley."

"I didn't realize so many people cared," Riley admitted.

"I don't know about everyone else, but for me maybe it's just because I have an aunt who skated solo in the Olympics," Jess answered shrugging her shoulders.

"Who's your Aunt?" Riley asked sipped from her drink.

"Sarah Hughes," Jess replied. Riley choked on her pepsi and began coughing while Jess just watched her with an amused smile. "Have you heard of her?"

"Heard of her?" Riley jumped up in her seat, immediately diving into a rant. "I've worshiped at her feet since I was a baby. She won gold at the 2002 Winter Olympics. Sarah the reason I'm skating right now. She is my idol! Her signature triple-triple took me years to perfect. I've watched her routines so many times it's ridiculous."

Jess laughed and shook her head. "I should have guessed. My Aunt is an amazing woman."

"I have like three of her posters in my room, I can't believe you're related to her," she gushed. She never acted like such a fan girl, and it took a lot for Riley to even address that side of her personality, but in that moment, she was just a child again, large wondrous eyes watched the small screen from her parent's living room back in their apartment.

"I'll have to introduce you two. She loves meeting fans and even better the next up and coming," Jess answered.

"I would love you forever," Riley replied wide-eyed unable to holdback her excitement.

Jess laughed at the over-excited brunette. "You're funny. Who are you here with?"

"Lucas," she replied, looking back at the boys standing on the other side of the table.

"He's a really sweet guy," Jess assured her. "We were beginning to wonder about that boy, he's never once brought a date to one of these ridiculous functions."

Riley's eyes watched the tall country boy sharing a laugh with her Uncle, and she wondered why he invited her.

"So you must be a pretty great girl if you're here with him," Jess filled in the gap. Another girl came and sat on the other side of Jess, fiddling on her phone while a few others took seats across from Riley, and other on the other side of Riley.

"You came with Josh?" Riley asked, lifted from the trance that Lucas so frequently had her in.

"Josh and I have been seeing each other for a few months now," Jess explained.

"But he won't say that their in an actual relationship," another girl chipped in. "Hi, I'm Leslie," she introduced herself offering her hand to shake. Leslie's dark complexion was enhanced by her bright red shirt and black skirt.

"Riley," she accepted the hand.

"Josh and I aren't that serious. It's just something fun. He's a great guy," Jess defended herself.

"He's a player," Leslie intruded.

"Tell us about you and Lucas, Riley," Jess said rolling her eyes. "We need all the deets."

"Oh, w-we're just friends," she replied quickly, folding her hands together, letting the heat rise up her face from the attention.

"Just friends, huh? You're blushing. I'd say there's a lot more to this story," Leslie laughed, jumping deep into questions for Riley.

Surprisingly, Riley enjoyed herself - talking amongst the older girls as she learned about their own experiences with University and boys. Jess had even invited Riley to hang out with them again and they could have a girls night. She had always envisioned the girls to be boy-obsessed and shallow, but these volleyball playing college students were layered and some of the nicest girls she'd even met. After Riley had explained the bulk of her relationship with Lucas, she found herself feeling relaxed with the girls and by the end of the night, she realized that she had left Lucas all alone with his teammates.

Time had flown by, and before she knew it, the restaurant was nearly empty except for a few players and their dates, as well as Shawn.

A yawn escaped Riley's mouth as she failed miserably to hide her exhaustion.

When she opened her eyes up, Lucas was smiling sweetly from the chair beside her.

"Hey, Ace," he whispered, a small smile tugged at his lips as he extended his hands to grab one of hers. The gesture surprised her, but she loved the feeling of their hands together. "You getting tired?"

"Yes," she admitted sheepishly.

"I knew I should have come to rescue from those girls sooner. But you looked like you were enjoying yourself," he said.

"Those girls are pretty nice," she agreed. "Did you have a good time?"

"I did," he replied, although his voice sounded slightly distracted. "I think we should get you home, don't you?"

"Yeah," she said checking her watch. It was well after nine. "My parents are going to start wondering what happened to me soon." She stood up, releasing her hand from Lucas's, and letting him usher her to the door.

Usually she wouldn't have done it, but her legs were tired from the events of the day, so she leaned her body into Lucas's. Moment's later, his arm wrapped around her and they were walking back to his car.

X

"You don't have to walk me to my door," Riley assured the boy as she stepped out of his truck. But Lucas refused, as followed her up the sidewalk.

"I have to make sure you get home safe," he defended himself, a small smile glimmering on his lips as his gaze lingered on the concrete.

"I am perfectly capable to getting there myself," she replied, activating her inner feminist.

"I know," he sighed. "But I also wanted to apologize."

She hadn't noticed he stopped walking until she turned around and saw the older boy still staring at the concrete sidewalk.

"For what?"

"I wanted to spend this night with you, I wanted it to be about us, and it turned out a lot different."

"I wanted that too," she admitted stepping into the light the streets offered.

"The dinner turned into more of a meeting, and I am really sorry if I ruined your night."

She had so many questions for him. So much about this whole thing didn't add up. Like why Lucas was acting like a kicked puppy and his father, the recruitment. She wanted to talk his ear off with all the questions she had, but still couldn't.

"I had a great night, Lucas. Stop worrying about that. The food was excellent, I had a great conversation with the bartender, and I am very happy that I got to know those girls better. I wish you and I could have spent more time together, but it was also nice to see you interact with your friends. Next time, we'll just have to make the night about me and you."

"Next time?" he smirked, obviously taking her words as reassurance that the night wasn't completely disastrous.

"We'll see what happens," she said vaguely. Lucas just nodded and she began to wonder if she had gone too far. She had one lingering question, as she shifted uncomfortably under Lucas's eye. "Luke?" she asked hesitantly.

"Yeah?"

"Were you hoping to be recruited today?" she asked.

She wasn't sure he was going to answer as silence beat echoing her words.

"It's every boy's dream, Riley. Of course it would have meant a lot to be recruited. I'm not sure what it would have meant to me, I'm still pretty young so I can keep trying next year. But the whole reason my father thinks I'm in New York is to pursue hockey."

"What's the actual reason?" she asked nervously.

"Right now I'm studying animal science, but if everything works out the way I hope, then I'll be in Veterinarian School in three years."

"That sounds amazing, Luke."

"My dad is going to be so pissed when he finds out about the recruitment though," he sighed again, rubbing his hair with his hand. "That's the only reason he agreed to all of this. Moving to New York."

She smiled lopsidedly, and shook her head. "Im sorry about your father, but if it means anything, I'm proud of you. You're going to be a great veterinarian someday," she promised.

"That means a lot Riley."

The two of them finally stood at the entrance of her apartment building, and for some uncalculated reason, Riley felt her heart rate increase as she watched Lucas stand so close to her, catching the glimpse of the moon hovering between the skyscrapers.

It was moments like these when she hated her mind.

She couldn't get it out of her head - she wanted to know the touch of his lips so much. His hand gently touched his soft cheek, the thumb ghostly, she leaned into his touch.

"Are you going to kiss me?" she breathed out slowly, their faces mere inches apart. It would be the perfect end to the imperfect day. And for a moment, she was certain he was going to. But there was something holding them both back.

He shook his head. "No," he swore and she retreated, letting his hand fall from it's place at her cheek. "The moment we kiss again, I want everything to reflect back at us, and I want us to work. I'm not sure we can work until you finish Nationals."

She frowned, and nodded.

"But nothing that happens from this point on can change how I feel about you."

"Luke, I-" Riley began, but stopped mid-sentence. There were a million things she wanted to tell him, a million feelings of how she felt about him, to show him that she cared. But instead she froze, not wanting to be vulnerable again.

He just smiled weakly, while her voice was still caught in her throat, a small tinge against her heart. He knew. She knew in that moment that he knew and he understood, and it wouldn't change a single thing.

Her head craned to the left and she could only stare at him with the most unjustifiable smile.

She missed him.

She missed the way he would hold her, the way his hands felt on her skin, and the way he could push away any anxiety she had in the world and just make it disappear.

"I know," he breathed. She took a step forward, letting him hold her, laying her head on his shoulder. "I miss you too," he said after a moment. She loved the way he could just read her mind, and for now, a hug would have to be enough.

X

The next morning Riley was running on fumes as she collapsed on the bench after a two hour practice. Her legs were sprawled out across the wooden frame and her arms draped over the sides dramatically. She had spent the majority of the night contemplating her entire life. Images of Lucas Friar danced through her mind during the ungodly hours of the night and she tried to place each memory she had of him in order.

Still, the memory of opening her eyes at the dinner the previous night and finding Lucas sitting across from her seemed to trump all. Even the kisses they once shared. This single memory seemed to saturate all of the others. The way he whispered his nickname for her just seconds after made her heart gallop in her chest in a dysfunctional way.

The entire dilemma made her distracted, and not to mention exhausted.

A while later, just as Riley was certain she was going to slip into a slumber, Maya appeared above her head, with a piping hot cup of coffee.

"Hey," Riley greeted her best friend, sitting up on the bench and making an effort to remove her skates.

"How was your date?" Maya dismissed her greeting and dove into Riley's mind.

"It wasn't a date," Riley repeated, slightly peeved. That's not how the world was supposed to perceive her strictly platonic relationship with Lucas. "And I had an enjoyable evening."

"An enjoyable evening," Maya repeated, her mittened hands gripping her own cup of cider. "That's very vague."

"Yeah, well I'm a vague person," Riley replied, a slightly bitter taste leaving her tongue.

"You sure, honey? Something tells me there is more to it than that. What happened last night?" Maya asked, taking a seat closer to the brunette and wondering which emotions she was dealing now.

For a moment, Riley didn't say anything, while she collected her thoughts and removed her skates, drying the ice off of the blades and putting them into their bag. Sitting up, she saw that Maya actually looked concerned for her wellbeing. With her bag on her lap, she hugged it, and let her body sink into it.

"Maya?" Riley asked, lifting her head up. Riley's entire body ached from sleep deprivation. But she couldn't keep these thoughts to herself anymore. "Why do I like Lucas?"

Maya's eyes popped open in surprise, and her eyes searched Riley's, but her tone alone was enough of a give away. What ever was on Riley's mind, was serious, and it had been on her mind for a while.

"Oh," was all she said, but then she smiled at Riley's innocence.

"I mean, I shouldn't right? We didn't work out last time, I can't afford to be this distracted all the time, I've got nationals to focus on, and I don't want to fall into second place again just because I make a stupid mistake. None of this adds up. I'm not being reasonable. Why do I like him, Maya? Why do I like Lucas?" Rille's eyes plead for Maya to hear here, to answer the thoughts that haunted her mind.

The brunette might be the best intermediate woman skater in the state, but relationship issues were not her forte. "Honey, I can't answer that?"

"Why not?"

Maya sat up straighter, shifting. "Because you know why. These are your feelings and no one else can tell you how you feel. Ever."

Riley brightened, and Maya suddenly felt that she had gotten her point across. "You can," Riley offered. "I hereby grant you this power."

She laughed, shaking her head. Sometime Riley was like a small child; so difficult to reason with.

"Riley, why do you need me to tell you how you feel?" she asked. "Why do you need anyone to tell you who you feel?"

"Because what if what I feel is real? What if everything I feel inside, is the real thing and I just keep pushing it away."

"Maybe you should stop pushing," she offered.

Riley's eyes began to sting, and she swallowed down the lump. "I don't want to get hurt again."

There.

She said it.

Maya frowned, but then her face softened, putting an arm around her best friend.

"You don't know that he's going to hurt you. There is no way to know. You just have to have faith in Lucas."

"I'm not sure I can do that though," she admitted.

"You used to be the Queen of Optimism, Riley. What happened to that girl?" Maya squeezed the other girl.

"That girl watched an innocent girl's life get taken away from the world," Riley said bitterly.

"It still hurts, doesn't it?"

"Sometimes I feel so happy," Riley acknowledged. "I feel so good, like nothing changed. And then other times I have the worst pain inside my chest I feel like my heart is being ripped out."

The universe had hurt her soul, bruised it, tarnishing her pure innocent heart.

For so long, Riley had believed in the good of the universe, in love, and how it would conquer all.

But so far, she had seen a lot of hurt, anger and hate.

How people would hurt others with their words to get what they wanted, how people would diminish other's dreams and put them off for less than they were. To hurt someone emotionally was one of the worst things she had seen in the world. She had seen that in Missy and in Lucas's father.

And then she saw Nadine, who literally had her voice ripped away in an accident but still found it in herself to smile. And she saw Maya who's father had selfishly left her, and how she still saw the beauty in the world.

"Riley," Maya whispered. "You're afraid of opening up your heart again. I get that. You are one of the strongest people I know, and you have one of the biggest hearts I have ever seen. But the world is a worse place when you're closed off."

Riley blinked back the tears in her eyes.

Maya continued. "I know that eventually you are going to be able to open up your heart again, and you are going to find love again. I hope that you let yourself love Lucas. You both deserve that. Love."

"You deserve that too, peaches," Riley sniffled.

"Thanks, honey."

Riley breathed slowly, letting Maya comfort her. She pinned this emotionally breakdown on her sleep deprivation.

"The only way you are ever going to be as happy as you were before this whole mess happened, is if you let yourself love like you once did."

A/N: What did you think? Did it make any sense to you? Because I don't know…