There seemed to be a thousand steps in the building. It certainly felt like it. Each step took a Herculean effort, and after that there was only another one. Every so often there was a break in the endless scale, but then it was only a matter of time before another set loomed before him, each seeming taller and steeper than the last. Lovino knew it was only the nerves pounding through him that were making this trip so hard, making time go so slowly, but he really didn't think he was ready to face Antonio again.

But, then again, he didn't have a choice. It was destroying him, the pain of loss, and this was the only way that Lovino could see as an end to it. Not to mention that Feliciano had persuaded him into it, and he didn't want to look like a chicken in front of his brother. Feliciano could be scared by his own shadow, for fuck's sake. To his slight disgust, Lovino was partly being driven into this by the determination to not look like a bigger wuss than his brother. It was such an intrinsically selfish thing to be motivated by, and despite being fairly selfish himself, Lovino didn't like it much. But that aside, most of the motivation was getting Antonio back and righting all the wrongs that he'd made over the last few months.

He reached the top of another flight of stairs – he'd lost count of how many he'd ascended in his seemingly endless ascension of nervousness and self-pity. Glancing at the small plastic sign next to the staircase, he was informed that he was on the fourth floor. That made only one left to go until Antonio's floor. He couldn't believe he'd only climbed eight flights; it felt like he'd been climbing for days, even though he knew it couldn't possibly have been that long.

Picking up his tired and unnaturally leaden feet once more, Lovino started up the penultimate set of stairs. The nerves were really beginning to get to him now, more so than they had been for the past few hours. His stomach was aching like he'd just been punched, and his heart had taken up permanent residence in his throat, or so it seemed. Time was slowing down too, but as he rounded the corner, he could see the fifth floor in sight, and he ascended the final twelve stairs in trepidation before walking down the cobalt-carpeted hallway towards the third door along. Heart pounding, he stopped.

Here he was. Apartment 5c. Aka Casa de Antonio. His road's end.

This was where he would find out if he truly had ruined everything.

Lovino took a deep breath, determined not to get himself in the mental block he'd experienced at Feliciano's, closed his eyes, and firmly pressed the doorbell. The bzzzzt was faintly audible through the walls, and it was pretty clear that whoever was inside would have heard, and would know there was someone outside waiting. Lovino had reached the point of no return now. There was no going back, even though every inch of him was screaming at him to run home and never come back here. It was weird, considering how easy it had been for him come here last time to do the exact opposite action, how he had barely hesitated in his stubbornness, and how it had all been over so quickly and simply. And yet now, the right thing was so much more difficult. How could that be logically sound?

Lovino stood there for what seemed like an infinite amount of time, trying to keep his breathing under control, running through what he might say in his mind for the final time, before Antonio and the moment of truth arrived.

He waited.

And waited.

Was Antonio not in? It was entirely possible that was the case. He did have other friends here now, lots of them, and he was quite a social person by nature. If he'd have gotten over their relationship – which he probably had by now – that would mean that he'd be back to a normal social calendar. Lovino was rather stumped by this turn of events. Had he really come all this way and undergone all the emotional and mental turmoil that his mind had been assaulting him with, only to be thwarted by an empty apartment? If there had been any room for anger in Lovino's mind he would have been rather pissed off by this new development. But there wasn't, and still the fear remained.

Then the door suddenly opened and Lovino's brain decided to take an immediate, unscheduled, and unwelcome holiday.

XxxxX

Antonio had been half-asleep when the doorbell rang, dozing on the sofa with a book on his face and one arm resting against the floor. It took him several seconds to wake up enough to remember that the reason he'd been woken up in the first place was because someone was at the door. It was probably Gilbert, wanting to retrieve that movie he'd borrowed recently. The silver-haired man had said that he'd be calling over at some point in the next few days. He hadn't said when exactly, so it could be any time; even three in the morning, and Antonio wouldn't put it past him to do just that. Even though it wasn't three in the morning now, only half four on a Saturday afternoon.

Yawning, slightly dazed, and a little disappointed to be woken up from his relaxing nap, Antonio put the book down on the cushions and walked across the room to the door. He really needed to stop falling asleep before people called. Supposedly nights were for sleeping, but Antonio liked dozing in the middle of the day too. It was fun in that strange way that sleeping was, and it was also a great way of getting out of work or chores that needed doing. Antonio was good at procrastinating, especially since he hadn't been feeling great recently. Not feeling great was always a good reason for putting off stuff you didn't want to do.

Then he was woken up by a virtual fifty-thousand-volt shock when he realised who was standing outside.

Antonio would never forget that face. He could live for a hundred years, go to a thousand places, meet a million people, but he'd never, ever, forget that face. Perhaps it wasn't perfect, but it seemed that way to Antonio. Those shining golden-brown eyes of a million hypnotic shades that held so many emotions to them that Antonio could hardly decipher what they said. The soft lips that he loved so much to kiss, and that formed such a beautiful smile on the rarest of occasions. That gravity-defying curl that made its owner make such endearing noises, and the soft brown hair that Antonio loved to run his fingers through. It couldn't be anyone else but Lovino.

But it couldn't be Lovino. It had to be his brother, right? Or some other lookalike. Lovino would never turn up here again. Maybe he was in the wrong place; he was looking for someone next door, perhaps. There was no reason for Lovino to be here, and Antonio couldn't let himself hope that Lovino was here for him.

But, the weirdest thing about all of this had to be the unnatural look on Lovino's face. Those beautiful eyes of his were wide and panicky, and his slightly-parted lips were trembling. He looked like he was staring his worst nightmare in the face and wasn't sure whether or not he'd get out alive. Why he was looking at the Spaniard this way though, was beyond Antonio; absolutely incomprehensible. How Antonio had transformed from a discarded ex-boyfriend into a terrifying spectre was inexplicable. Antonio was completely stunned.

"Uhh…," Antonio said intelligently, then recovered himself enough to form coherent sentences. "Lovi…no. What are you doing here?"

Lovino didn't answer for a time; he just stood in the doorway staring at Antonio and gulping back short, sharp breaths. He almost seemed unable to respond. Antonio briefly wondered why, but he knew he couldn't think too deeply about this. It would only destroy the progress he'd made to recovery.

"Hello?" Antonio tried again. He didn't want to prolong this conversation any longer than it had to be. Seeing Lovino was just too painful, even though it was almost a month since they'd broken up.

Lovino jumped slightly and took a deep breath. His fingers linked in front of him, fidgeting nervously as he tried to find whatever elusive words that he was looking for. Eventually, just as Antonio was about to bid him a reluctant farewell and close the door, Lovino spoke; quietly, sorrowfully. "I'm so fucking sorry."

This shocked Antonio even more than Lovino's surprise appearance had. Sorry? Lovino was apologising to him? Could…could this possibly be for their break-up? Did Lovino want him back? But…but Antonio couldn't let himself hope again. He couldn't face that kind of heartbreak for a second time. He'd just play dumb, find out what Lovino was really thinking, before giving him any sort of answer. Although, what he really wanted to do was just sweep Lovino into his arms, tell him all was forgiven, and never, ever let him go again.

"You're…sorry?" he asked.

Lovino nodded, blinking hard and fast. "Yeah. F-for breaking up with you. For treating you like shit. You didn't deserve it, you never did. It…it's just…I never felt this way before, you know? I've gone my whole life from relationship to relationship just thinking that it was a way to kill time and have fun, but with you it was different. I-I didn't realise what I was feeling, a-and it scared me, so I just ran from it without thinking. I…I fucked up really bad there, and I'm so sorry." To Antonio's surprise, again, tears began to fall down Lovino's cheeks. He'd never seen Lovino cry before. All the confidence he'd always seen in Lovino had somehow evaporated now; he looked so broken and vulnerable. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Antonio. And-" Lovino took a deep breath, "-I-I love you. I really do. And I'm sorry for not saying it when I should have."

Lovino may as well have pressed the 'off' switch in Antonio's brain with these words. They were the words he'd wanted to hear for so long, the words that a month ago would have made everything alright. It was completely impossible to believe, yet Antonio so dearly wanted it to be true. It looked so much like Lovino was being sincere. In fact, he looked so hurt that it took everything Antonio had not to cradle him in his arms and kiss the tears away.

Antonio blinked slowly at Lovino, stunned to the very core. "You…you really mean that?"

Lovino nodded quickly, all the while staring at Antonio with saddened, hopeful eyes. "Of course I do. I'm really sorry, Antonio. Can…can we please give it another try? For real this time."

Once again, Antonio had to fight off the urge to hug him, and hug him hard. He didn't know what to do now. Here was the one person he wanted, the one person he'd truly love with all his heart, the one person who'd hurt him beyond anything, stood here begging for his forgiveness. Yes, most of him wanted to instantly forgive and forget, to hug Lovino and never let go, but that would only work if Lovino was telling the truth. There was every chance that he wasn't, and Antonio couldn't bring himself to trust the Italian any more. As well as being Antonio's love, Lovino was also the person who'd hurt him more than he'd ever thought feasible. It was entirely possible – nay, probable – that this was just the second part of some Heartbreaker plot, some way to hurt him further, to break what was already broken. After all, that was what Lovino did, what he'd already done. Would he do it again if Antonio let him back into his life?

Antonio couldn't take that chance…could he?

But this was Lovino. His love, all he could ever dream of. He couldn't reject that, could he?

Antonio stared at him. Those frightened, quivering eyes, those trembling lips, that beautiful face. It was almost impossible to even think of saying no. He lifted a hand and gently caressed the side of Lovino's face, feeling the soft skin coated with warm tears. He'd been waiting so long for this moment, and now, he could hardly believe it was here. Lovino relaxed into Antonio's hand and closed his eyes.

"Lovi…" Antonio breathed quietly, feeling tears spring to the edges of his own eyes, and he couldn't help but smile ever so slightly. Lovino looked up at him hopefully, imploring him with wide golden orbs, begging him not to say no.

Antonio blinked again, feeling a solitary tear escape his left eye and trail down his face. He couldn't think – the questions were tearing him apart, driving him crazy. Part of him was so ecstatically happy, and yet the other part was worried that this was all Act II of the most painful play ever written. He sighed quietly and took his hand off Lovino's face. "Lovi…I don't know why you did what you did. I don't understand why you're here. But…the truth is, I just don't really know what to think right now. Have you really changed, or are you just out to trick me again? I'm sorry, Lovi, but I just can't trust you anymore. Not after what you did. You hurt me worse than anything I've ever known. I loved you, and you just lied to me. You lied to me and you broke my heart." The words came out of Antonio's mouth in a dull monotone, and he could hardly believe that he was saying them, but he knew he had to, even though it was shattering his heart again to do so. "Please leave, Lovino. I'm sorry."

"W-what?" Lovino choked as Antonio stepped back and grasped the door knob. "N-no, wait, please don't-" His words were cut off by the painted wood and Antonio's last sight was of him with his hand outstretched, reaching desperately forward, and tears streaking down his anguish-ridden face.

Tears were stinging again at Antonio's eyes as he shut the door quickly behind him, collapsing against it once it was safely closed. Pain clenched his heart when he heard a pained sob echo from the door's other side, causing the tears to spill over and coat his face. Lovino was hurting, so badly, and it was his fault. But was it an act, or was it actually real? Antonio couldn't tell, and he couldn't risk it until he knew, but it hurt so badly to think about.

Had he really made the right choice?

Ok, so makes up for the giant troll last chapter. Well, kind of. Short chapter is short.
Hmm? Thought it was over? Nah... No way. I've got more planned for this. Sorry, Lovi, Toni, but it's not going to be over quite so easily.

Thank you for the reviews last chapter. It's awesome that you guys care enough to try cheer me up, even though I was just complaining for the sake of complaining 'cos I had a bad day. Which turned into a really shitty week and doesn't look like it's going to improve for a while, but I'm trying to get things sorted. Yeah. But it does mean I'm able to write lots of angsty chapters, as writing is good for the soul.