Sorry it took so long to get back to you all. College has been hectic with midterms. Ugh. But yeah, here ya go :)
The hospital was exactly as Clary remembered it. She'd been here plenty of times with Jonathan's many injuries, one of the major ones being his shoulder. Over the years, he'd gotten hurt more often than not due to football even if he didn't like to admit it. He tried to be the hard ass that never got hurt, but that just lead to surgery after a while. It was a typical move for him, especially with their father's history of breaking bones.
This trip to the hospital was much more stressful. It wasn't just because Clary was worried about Alec, because she was, but she was really more worried about Jace. There was more than just a surgery that she knew her brother would make it out of. This was a mess. And Jace hadn't said a word, hadn't acknowledged anything, hadn't even seemed to change his facial features since they left the house. The lack of communication was really starting to freak her out.
The group – Isabelle with Max holding her hand, Jace, and Clary – all walked through the sliding doors in a rush. The overpowering smell of cleaning products made Clary stagger a bit, but she kept straight once she was used to it. Jace lead them like a general leads his army, except more frantic. She and Max were struggling just to keep up with him as he sprinted in the building.
They stormed into the ER, and Jace raced right up to the front desk. "Where is Alec Lightwood?"
The woman at the desk, a young woman with blonde hair and blue eyes, looked up with a sad smile on her face. "Alec is currently recovering from surgery, young man, and he doesn't need to be bothered yet. Are you friend or family?"
"I'm his sister," Isabelle stated as she stepped up.
The nurse eyed Isabelle quickly, looking down at Max and Clary. "And them?"
"Irrelevant," Jace announced. Clary cringed at the sound of his tone. It was extremely harsh, like there was a hidden threat inside it. "I want to see him."
"I'm sorry sir, but you can't–"
"Listen here, I'll break down the fucking door if I have to–"
"Hey! There's Magnus!" Max yelled and pointed, and Clary followed where he was pointing down the hall. Jace and Isabelle's attention was diverted, and Clary was shocked at what she saw.
What was Magnus even doing here? How did he beat them here? He was standing on the other side of the sliding glass doors in the direction of the Operating Rooms. He looked different from all the other times Clary had seen him. Gone was his tux, his butler look. The shocking realization that he was actually normal was what struck Clary the most.
And the glitter of course. The bright red shirt, the silver shining pants, the even brighter red shoes, and the glitter made it easy to see him from a mile away. His hair was styled different, sticking up and shining with some kind of gel and even more glitter. It was like staring at a disco ball as the light reflected off of him in every direction.
The woman he was talking with was just as strange. Most everything about her was normal except for her completely white hair, like snow. It blended into the white walls a little too well.
"How the hell did he know about this already?" Jace wondered, stepping away from the counter to get a better look.
Isabelle shrugged, pulling Max closer to her side. The little boy looked terrified. He was pulling at his sister's blouse and jeans, digging his head into her side. Clary's heart broke looking at him as his eyes drifted from the door to Isabelle's shirt, like he wanted to know what was happening but was scared of the truth.
It was funny, in a non-humorous way, how she could tell what everyone else was feeling but not herself. Max was horrified and worried, along with Isabelle, while Jace was looking furious, pissed, worried, stressed, and deadly all at the same time.
But she had never really gotten along with Alec. It was more like they tolerated each other and didn't try to lash out. She didn't in particularly have a problem with him, but the way he would look at her when no one else was paying attention, the way he would pretty much ignore her if she was around, it hurt pretty bad. She gave him props, because he hid it pretty well, but it still hurt for some reason. But still, she wanted him to be okay. Not for her sake, but for Jace's. She wasn't sure he couldn't handle much more on his heart at this point.
"How did you find out about this?" Jace asked Isabelle as his arm wrapped around Clary's waist. She hadn't even noticed he'd moved to her side during her thoughts.
"I got a call from the police."
"They just knew you were Alec's sister and knew who to call?"
Isabelle stared at him like he was an idiot. "Jace, my parents are lawyers. You should know that we're pretty well known around here. Not to mention my second cousin twice removed or something works here. So yes, they just know."
He put his hands up with some sass, giving her a look. "Sorry, princess. I forgot everyone bowed down to your family."
"Just make sure you don't forget again."
"Don't act so high and mighty, little miss trouble maker. You're not above all the rest of us."
"Where the hell is this coming from?" Isabelle practically screamed. Her hands flew to her hips in a stance looking like she was ready to fight.
Jace casually shrugged. "I'm just saying that if Magnus was here before us, that's how they knew to call you. You're not all powerful and famous. So stop acting like it."
Isabelle's jaw dropped in disbelief. "You're the one that asked me!"
It took all Clary had to not slap the both of them. Between Jace arguing with Simon, with Isabelle, with his teachers, with Magnus, with Sebastian, with Jonathan, and with every other person on the planet, she was about to explode. Honestly, did he even get along with a single human being?
She shook her head, not wanting to know the answer to that question. But honestly, how could someone so handsome and charming start fight after fight like he enjoyed it? Clary hated arguing and fighting more than anything, probably because of her past experiences. She just wished that people would get along, but that didn't seem to be happening anytime soon. Jace liked the red faced Isabelle or the angry Alec way too much to let that stop. He really was messed up in the head at times.
Her thoughts were interrupted when something pulled at her shirt. She looked down to find Max looking up at her, a worried expression on his face.
"Clary, make them stop," he whined, digging his head into her stomach as he hugged her.
Clary wasn't sure what he was talking about until she looked up and back at reality. Jace and Isabelle were seriously going at it about something now. They were both looking incensed and ready to kill.
"Guys," she hissed, grabbing the attention of her boyfriend and best friend. "Can't you two just–"
"You all finally made it." Clary was interrupted as Magnus burst through the door, the doctor lady now nowhere to be found. His eyes were focused on them, glancing down at Max worried but only for a moment before looking back at Jace and Isabelle. "And you're already fighting?"
"We're not fighting," Isabelle mumbled. "We just had a little argument."
Magnus rolled his eyes. "Since when do the two perfect best friends argue?"
Jace opened his mouth to retort, probably with something sarcastic, but he didn't say a word. He actually looked shocked at the realization, just like Isabelle. Apparently, the fact that they were fighting was a new concept to the two of them. Clary had seen it plenty, so she didn't understand why they were so shocked.
With a glance to Clary, who shrugged, Magnus decided to let the matter go. "Yes, well, I'm sure you'd like an update on Alec then."
"I want to see him," Jace said, stepping forward. It was only a step, but for some reason it was intimidating. "Where is he?"
"Now Jace, just calm down–"
That was all Magnus got out before Jace snapped. It wasn't a normal person snap either, but a completely uncontrolled thing of rage as Jace acted without a second thought.
Much to Magnus's unluckiness, they were particularly close to a pillar holding up the ceiling. Jace used that to his advantage, much to Max and Clary's horror, as he grabbed Magnus's collar and slammed him against the white square pillar. There were a few screams, one belong to Clary in particular, as Jace held Magnus against the wall.
"Don't make me tear this place apart looking for him," Jace growled. "Because you know I'll do it."
"Jace," Isabelle warned, taking a tentative step forward.
His hold on Magnus didn't lessen with the warning. In fact, it seemed to tighten as Clary watched Jace suspend Magnus in the air with ease.
"He can't have visitors yet, Jace," Magnus answered finally. He was extremely calm, considering the situation. "He's unconscious. Caterina said–"
"I don't give a damn who she is or what she said," Jace yelled, pulling Magnus back and slamming him into the wall again. "Where the hell is he?"
The next few seconds happened so fast that Clary had trouble comprehending them. She was still struggling to come to the realization that Jace was about to lose it, and then he was suddenly passed out on the floor, literally.
He just slumped, like he instantly fell asleep and lost hold on reality. Magnus caught himself easily enough when his feet hit the floor, but Jace collapsed onto the tile with a thud, earning another worried yell from Clary, resulting in Max digging deeper into her side. It didn't even look like he was breathing, even though she was pretty sure he was fine. No one, especially Magnus, seemed too worried about him as he lied on his back, eyes closed and mouth open, looking like he was sleeping his troubles away.
"I really hoped that wouldn't be necessary," Magnus wondered aloud. He was holding something in his hand, something that looked like a syringe that was empty of juice.
And that's when Clary understood. Her eyes widened with the realization, a small smidgen of anger coming through. "You sedated Jace?"
Magnus nodded, stuffing the empty syringe in his pants pocket. "Isabelle has told me plenty of stories of Jace losing his temper when he didn't get his way, especially when it comes to people he cares about. I wasn't going to get my ass kicked because he had a hissy fit. He needs to learn that you don't always get what you want."
"Is he… dead?" Max asked, pulling away from Clary enough to look at Jace's unconscious body.
If it was any other time, Clary would've actually laughed. But she just squatted down next to the little boy. The anger was gone, knowing that Magnus was only thinking about the best. She couldn't really be mad, could she? "No, Max. Jace is just sleeping. He'll wake up in a while and be just fine."
That seemed to satisfy him enough and he nodded. Max was a strong kid, and understanding kid, and didn't say another word as Clary stood, walking over to talk to Isabelle and Magnus privately.
"Oh, nurse?" Magnus called as they stepped away from Jace. One of the nurses, a random one, came over at Magnus's call. He gestured to Jace. "Can you throw him in a random bed, please?"
She nodded, looking a bit confused. "What's wrong with him?"
"Anger issues." Magnus answered with a small smile on his lips. It was forced though, like the amusement wasn't really there. "Go ahead and call security. His name is Jace Herondale, so they'll know what to do." The nurse did as he asked, walking out of sight to find some help.
"Can I go with Jace?" Max asked them. Four men were coming with a stretcher, and heaved Jace onto with strain. He wasn't exactly a small teenager.
Clary and Isabelle both agreed that was best, and finally, the two girls and the butler were able to talk in privately. Somehow, Magnus had the entire hospital wrapped around his finger, and maneuvered them into some empty hallway at the back of the ER. There were charts, stretchers, tables with wheels, and everything else under the planet, but no people.
"Alright, start talking," Isabelle instructed, leaning against the wall. Clary took refuge beside her, both the girls facing down Magnus in a wall of questions.
Magnus did look a little nervous and worried about the conversation, but he hid most of it pretty well in Clary's eyes. He was probably a little proud for knocking Jace on his ass, she thought, even if he did have a bit of medical help. "Where do you want me to start?"
Isabelle asked the first question. "How did you find out about Alec before we did?"
"Alec and I were meeting up after his private practice with Jace. He's terrible at history, which I'm good at, and he needed some help with his test. Then, when he never showed up, I went looking for him. That's how I found his car."
"What had happened?" Clary asked.
Magnus didn't look to happy and smug now. "It was on the side of the road. That black truck isn't easy to see at night, but thank God that's what he decided to drive. If he was in the small Camaro, he might have been crushed, and I don't even want to think about that right now. As for the accident, all we know so far is he had gone head first into the tree, but they don't know what happened yet specifically. I just rushed him here first, thinking he was more important than finding out the details of the crash."
Clary's heart sank at the thought of it. She actually pictured such a thing, and the mental image made her shiver. That wasn't something she'd want for anyone, even if she didn't quite get on the best with Alec.
After a few seconds of processing the information, Isabelle asked, "Who was that doctor chick you were chatting with?"
"She's an old friend, one I've known for quite some time. Caterina. My parents and her parents were good friends, so we grew up together, even though she's considerably older than me. She just graduated from Medical School and was assigned as one of the head ER doctors here a few months ago."
"Is she Alec's doctor?"
Magnus nodded. "She was giving me an update on how he was doing." He paused for a moment, closing his eyes and leaning back against the wall. He suddenly looked tired, his mood changing faster than Jace's temper tantrums. "And it wasn't the best of news."
That wasn't what they wanted to hear. Clary wrapped her arms around her torso, a feeling of dread sweeping over her body. "How bad?"
Magnus opened his eyes, staring at the ceiling. "Bad."
"You might as well start now," Isabelle insisted, sounding rather impatient and worried.
It was pretty obvious Magnus wasn't enjoying the conversation, but he answered none the less. "Alec… he might be in a… a coma."
"A coma?" Clary and Isabelle asked at the same time, eyes wide and jaws open.
Magnus nodded solemnly. "According to Caterina, he had hit his head pretty bad when he was ejected and–"
"Ejected?" Isabelle interrupted. Clary watched as a small tear fell down her friends face.
"The seat belt wasn't buckled apparently," he answered. "I'm not sure if it failed, if Alec forgot, or if he just didn't care. It already happened though, so there isn't a thing we can do about it now. The damage is done, and the damage is extremely bad as well."
Isabelle sank to the floor, her back sliding down the wall. Her knees were pulled up to her chest, shock taking over her entire body. It was obvious to Clary that her friend looked like she was about to break, but Magnus was too. Hell, so was Jace, and Max was probably scared out of his mind at this point.
Perfect, she's the only slightly calm and sane one at this point.
"How long?" Isabelle asked, looking up and meeting Magnus's gaze from the floor.
There wasn't much hope in Magnus's eyes as he shook his head. "Too long."
"Magnus–"
"Maybe never, Isabelle," Magnus suddenly snapped. He threw his hands up, only to have them fall back down and slap his thighs. His eyes were angry, hurt, in pain. Clary knew that butlers normally cared for their employers, but this was a bit over the top. Magnus looked like he was losing his best friend. "Caterina said that there is a small chance he could never wake up."
Clary watched as Isabelle Lightwood, the strongest girl she had ever met, lost it. The tears started pouring out like Niagara Falls, falling down her face and smearing her make-up. She had hidden her face in her arms once it really started to get bad, and Clary really wished that she knew what to do. She'd never learned how to comfort people, because she was always the one that had the problem. Now, Isabelle was the one losing her brother and Clary didn't have any clue what to do.
She looked at Magnus, hoping and praying that he'd be able to handle the situation. She was disappointed. He looked just as bad as Isabelle but was standing. Silent tears were falling down his face, one by one, and he was taking deep breathes just to stay calm. But unlike Isabelle, he was still able to think coherently.
"There's one other thing," Magnus said through his slight tears. "Well, a few things actually."
Isabelle shook her head from her spot on the floor. "Don't."
"It's important. You're going to ask me later, so I might as well pile it all on now."
Clary agreed to disagree with that. Sometimes, people can only handle so much, and Isabelle looked like someone who couldn't handle much more.
Magus, luckily, didn't continue though. He was staring at Isabelle as she slowly calmed down. One by one, her tears started to stop, her body stopped shaking, her arms released her legs, and she practically slumped against the wall behind her. She looked limp, tired, and Clary took refuge next to her, where Isabelle placed her head on the redhead's shoulder.
Then, after so many minutes of silence, Isabelle nodded. "Okay, Magnus, whatever you have to say, I'm ready."
"I'm just going to lay it all out there, okay?"
Clary's hand was suddenly grasped in Isabelle's. She offered a squeeze of assurance to her friend, and then nodded to Magnus to continue.
"Other than the head injury, which they still haven't completely diagnosed, Alec broke his left femur, his right arm where he managed to snap his ulna and radius in half completely. Then, on top of that, he shattered a couple ribs and had internal bleeding that they managed to stop and secure easily enough. We all know that's not the part we should be really worried about though."
Just like that, the tears from Isabelle started pouring all over again. It was a lot. Clary couldn't deny that. She couldn't imagine going through that much pain, considering she'd never broken a thing in her life.
She pulled Isabelle into her, letting the girl cry out her tears in the sleeve of her t-shirt. "Magnus, is he going to be able to even recover from all that?"
The look on his face didn't show much hope. "Caterina said that the surgeries are going well so far when it comes to the physical stuff, but if Alec ever wakes, he will struggle to fully recover. Maybe that'll be soon."
"That's not very encouraging." Clary stroked Isabelle's black hair as the girl started crying even harder. "There isn't anything we can do?"
He shook his head. "Not unless you've got some magical powers up your sleeve to heal him. Otherwise, it's his fight."
Clary dropped her head back against the wall, closing her eyes. "I hate feeling so helpless."
"I know," Magnus agreed. "I hate it too. I almost feel partially responsible."
Confusion set over Clary's face. "Why?"
"He was going to meet me. If he would've just gone home, maybe he never would've gotten hurt."
"Maybe, but there's nothing you can change about it," Isabelle choked out. Her voice was raw and hoarse from all the crying. She slowly lifted her head, turning her gaze to Magnus. "You can't start blaming yourself for everything that happens. There wasn't anything you could've done to help him other than what you did, and there's nothing you could've done to stop it."
"Yeah, but–"
"Do you know why I asked my mom to hire you, Magnus?"
The surprise was evident in Magnus's eyes as he unconsciously stood straighter. "Uh, no, but I don't see how–"
Isabelle held up her hand, cutting him off once again. "You're more than just a butler to me, to Max, to Alec. You're like our family, and you've always done what's best for us. You care. We care. And I know that what happened with Alec wasn't anything you could've stopped. So if you keep blaming yourself, I'm going to kick your ass."
"Sometimes you can't help but blame yourself," Clary said without thinking, interrupting Magnus's reply. Once the words were out, she couldn't stop them, and both her friends looked to her with questions in their eyes. Instantly she wished she could take it back, because that little statement alone started more questions than she wanted to answer.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Isabelle asked one of the questions that Clary didn't want. She was wiping the last few tears for her eyes before they finally stopped completely.
Clary sighed, pulling her knees to her chest and shrugging one shoulder. "I just know what it's like to feel the blame. That's all."
Magnus looked at Isabelle quickly before looking back at Clary once more. "Elaborate. I have a feeling this conversation isn't about Alec anymore."
Clary looked around at the two pairs of inquiring eyes, and immediately glanced at the floor. "Maybe I don't want to elaborate. Some things are harder to talk about then others."
Magnus laughed once without humor. "Tell me about it."
"Magnus," Isabelle snapped. "I may love you, but you've got some nerve right now. This isn't the time to bring that up, okay? Don't make me fire you because you can't keep your fucking mouth shut."
"Fire me?"
"Yes."
Clary glanced up as Magnus eyed Isabelle with a frustrated look on his face. "You wouldn't dare. You'd kill somebody if you didn't have me to come to for your fashion emergencies."
"Is that really why you want to stay?" Isabelle challenged. At this point, Clary was rightfully confused. Both of them seemed to be hiding something, having one conversation with their mouths and another with their eyes that she wasn't allowed to be a part of apparently.
The corner of Magnus's mouth moved up slightly. It was there and gone so quickly, that if Clary hadn't already been watching him she never would've noticed it. "You know why I want to stay."
"Did I miss something?" Clary chimed in. "I was following the conversation pretty well until whatever just happened… happened."
"It's nothing," Magnus answered quickly.
Isabelle had other ideas. Despite the look she was getting from Magnus, she looked at Clary and said. "Alec and Magnus, despite what they tell everyone, are in a secret relationship."
Clary's eyes widened.
"Isabelle," Magnus warned, obviously angry that Isabelle was mentioning it.
"She was going to find out eventually," Isabelle shot back at him. "Honestly, you two don't hide it very well in the house. Sooner or later she'd walk in on the two of you lip-locking in the library–"
"Isabelle, just stop!" Magnus's outburst finally shut her up, but not before Clary heard way more than she wanted to.
It actually explained a lot. It explained why Alec never really cared for Clary. Sure, he'd acknowledge her existence but he never really smiled at her or acted like he wanted to be around her. Because he…
"Before you go jumping to conclusions, it's not like that." Magnus pulled Clary out of her thoughts. The look on his face showed her knew exactly what she was thinking, or at least thought he did. Then, as the last man standing, Magnus fell to the floor, slumping against the wall. He almost looked defeated, draping one arm over his knee while the other leg straightened out. "Alec loved Jace at one point, but it's not like he still does. It was different."
"He never said a word about it though," Isabelle chimed in. This time, Magnus didn't stop her from talking. "For the longest time, I was the only one that knew. My parents… they wouldn't be very accepting of it, so Alec never wanted them to find out. He did his best to not be who he wanted to just to make them happy."
Clary nodded, starting to piece together small parts of the puzzle. Even if Alec didn't hate Clary, he still didn't care for her because she got Jace when he couldn't. She couldn't really blame him though. If someone else had Jace at this point, she wouldn't exactly be kind to that person. Hell, she'd probably try to break them up. She's already got experience in that department.
"That's a lot of have bottled up inside," Clary finally said, dropping her head a bit.
Isabelle nodded. "He's my brother, and I love him to death, but it worries me how he never shows it. I try my best to hide it for him, keeping my parent locked on everything I do. Like if they start getting suspicious, I'll do something completely stupid and idiotic to throw them off of Alec and back on me."
"And he's thanked you a thousand times for that," Magnus inputted.
She smiled. "I just care about him."
"As do I."
"Can I ask something?" Clary, being the girl she is, actually raised her hand like a child to get their attention. Magnus nodded, gesturing towards her. "Okay, why is Alec so against his parents knowing?"
"They're lawyers, so they have to be completely focused on their cases in order to win them," Isabelle explained. "And they're very old fashioned. They still believe that races should stay separate, that white people should marry white people, that black people should marry black people, and that men and women should get married."
"Which is why I'm not the best suitor at this point." Magnus pointed to himself. "I'm part Asian, and I'm gay. If they knew the second part, they'd fire me in a heartbeat. Bye, bye, Butler Bane. I'd be ancient history."
"They're not going to find out," Isabelle insisted quickly. It sounded like it was for her own reassurance more than Magnus's though.
Clary wasn't so optimistic. "You act like Magnus and Alec can just keep a secret the whole time." She cocked her head to the side, looking at Magnus with questioning eyes. "Can you do that? Can you actually live a lie?"
"Living a lie is easy," he answered with confidence. "Living with liars is hard."
"What's the difference?"
"How is she?" a new voice, a man's voice, said as another group made its way down the adjacent hallway. Magnus, Isabelle, and Clary all stilled on the floor, looking to the right and waiting. "Is there any change?"
"Not yet. She's still the same as she was three months ago."
"Isn't there something you can do?"
Then they finally made it around the corner. It was a group of three, one average, older man, one woman, and one boy about Clary's age. Her eyes widened when she noticed who they were.
Luke was looking frantic as he talked with his hands, oblivious to the three teenagers on the floor twenty yards away. He was looking rough too. A lumberjack, torn, red and black plaid shirt covered his upper body with a raggedy white t-shirt. His hair was a mess. His glasses were at least clean and not broken. And his jeans had paint stains all over them, along with his boots.
Then there was Simon. What they were doing here is still a mystery, but he looked like the third wheel right now. While Luke and Caterina, yes Caterina, walked and talked, he just followed with his head down and his hands in his pockets.
"There's nothing else," Caterina insisted. "We've done all we can for your wife, and if she wakes up, it's because she wanted to."
Luke didn't look too convinced. "You said that it wouldn't take this long."
"Luke, we can only do so much for her. A friend of mine is flying in to look at her, but that's all we can do. He's an expert at this kind of thing, so I'm hoping he could provide some insight upon arrival. Just be patient."
"Uh, guys?" Simon asked. Clary's eyes drifted from the arguing pair to his as he stopped behind them, his eyes wide and big as he stared at her. "You might want to take this privately."
Luke looked back at Simon, ready to ask why when he just followed his gaze instead. His eyes met Clary's, and he had the same reaction as Simon did. "Clary, what are you doing here?"
"I could ask you the same question." She rose to her feet, Magnus and Isabelle following suite. On the bright side, all of the tears were gone from everyone's face and they looked somewhat civilized.
Caterina scanned the teenage group, stopping a few feet away from. "You three aren't permitted to be back here."
"They're with me," Magnus insisted, stepping forward. "I'll keep them all under control."
Caterina seemed to think about that before nodding, addressing Luke again. "Anyway, as for Jocelyn Fairchild, the only thing I can do is–"
"WHAT?" Clary practically screamed out. Suddenly, everything faded away. There was no Alec problem. No Jace anger issues. No Isabelle worries and Magnus struggles. No Simon. No Luke. Just Clary and Caterina. She took a threatening step forward, to which Caterina raised an eyebrow in return. "Excuse me, but what about my mother?"
It suddenly got very quiet. No one spoke for a long time, all of them looking at Clary, back to Luke, back to Clary, over to Caterina. The only person who wasn't looking at her, she noticed, was Simon. He was staring at the floor, hands in his pockets, and looking anywhere but the gazes being thrown his way. Then, as if a switch was flipped, almost everyone spoke at once.
"Holy shit. Your mother?" Luke exclaimed.
"You're Jocelyn's child?" Caterina asked incredulously. Her eyes widened with realization, and that's when Clary knew her assumptions were correct.
"Simon, you hid this from her?" Isabelle shouted with cold eyes directed at him.
"Like we don't have big enough problems already. Let's just add to them, why don't we?" Magnus mumbled.
"Here we go," Simon mumbled, putting his head in his hands as all hell broke loose in the back hallway.
Jace's eyes slowly fluttered open. Ever so slowly, the room around him came into focus. White walls. White tile floors. A single suspended TV. White bed sheets. Grey chairs. One of which had a young Max, curled up and eyes closed as he slept with his head on the arm rest.
He tried to recall what happened, how he even ended up here, but nothing was coming. One minute, he was yelling his heart out of Magnus and then everything went blank. There wasn't a single spark of recollection, nothing that he could remember.
Anxiety took over at the realization that he still hadn't seen Alec though. Whatever the hell happened to him kept him from his original goal. As quickly as it came, the anxiety changed and shifted into anger at the thought that someone, somehow, got in his way and seriously screwed him over. What if Alec woke up and noticed that Jace wasn't there? What if he was awake now? Jace should be by his best friend's side, no matter the cost.
He moved to sit up, and then realized that he couldn't. His hands were restrained, along with his torso, and he bent his head to see what was keeping him.
"What the hell is this?" He pulled softly, knowing full well that he wouldn't be able to break it. And sure enough, the metal of the handcuffs just jingled against the bed frames to his side.
After a few tugs with no success, Jace collapsed back against the bed. He was annoyed. All he wanted was to get up and see his friend, but the world wouldn't let him. It was such bullshit. Why was everyone so against him right now? Instead of shouting questions to the empty room with no answers, he closed his eyes again, trying to calm himself. It was the only thing he could actually do at this point.
He wasn't sure how long he just laid there, wide awake with nowhere to go. Max was passed out, so he might as well have been alone. His luck started to change though when the door opened, and Jace peaked out from under his eyelids to see his favorite redhead walk through the door.
Once she turned, he immediately closed his eyes again. For some reason, he always found it more intriguing when she didn't know he was awake. She was different when she thought she was alone, and although he had a tone of questions, this was her show. Her posture alone gave away the fact that something was wrong, or worse than whatever happened to Alec.
So he laid quietly, listening to the sound of her footsteps as she approached his head. There was the squeaking sound of a sliding chair, and suddenly his hand was grabbed by two of hers. "You have no idea how much I need you right now."
Those words alone would have broken him, and he almost opened his eyes to tell her he was right here, but she continued too quickly.
"It's not that it doesn't make sense, because it does, you know? It's typical behavior of my family at least. My dad turns into an alcoholic and footballaholic, if that's what you call it. My brother is a sexaholic. And my mom… We're a family of disaster after disaster. One giant wrecking ball that destroys everything we touch."
Jace did his best not to tense when he felt her head press against his side. Only one hand grabbed his now, as the other was pulling at his shirt. Her face was buried in the fabric, gripping it like a lifeline. "I just want things to be easy for once," she whispered. "I don't want to think about everyone else. I don't want to care about my brother, my dad, or my mom that ditched me and then got herself knocked into her own state of unconsciousness. I just want to be able to stay with you, even when you can't even hear me, and forget the rest of the world. I want it all to fade away for once. I want… I want to get away."
He wanted that more than anything too. It was so easy to picture! Even in such a short time, he could actually see himself with Clary, isolated and alone with no worries in their own little space. The details weren't there, but that didn't mean he didn't want to be there. If he could, he would, but he also knew there were so many reasons he couldn't.
"But you have the Lightwoods," Clary continued. "They're like your family, and you're living with Michael. He's like your father now. Even if you're not blood related, I can't tear you apart from them. I know how you are with Isabelle and Alec, and I can't be the one to–"
"You won't be," Jace finally said. His voice must have shocked her, because she looked up from his torso with wide eyes. They were shining, but certain sadness was eating away at her from the inside.
She broke eye contact first, leaning back and playing with her hands in her lap. "I thought you were still asleep," she mumbled after a few seconds.
"It wouldn't be the first time." Jace smiled, remembering their time when she drew him a few days ago outside, but it faltered when she didn't return it. "I tend to fake it a lot apparently. Clary, you mentioned that–"
"Did you want to hear about Alec?"
That wasn't what he was going to ask, but it was obvious she was trying to keep him from saying it. So instead, he just nodded.
Clary leaned forward again, and grabbed his hand that was still chained to the bed. Her fingers played with his, like she was preoccupying her mind as she spoke. While she spoke, one or two stray tears fell down her cheeks. Jace squeezed her hand because it was all he could. He couldn't reach up and brush the tears away. He couldn't tuck her hair behind her ear when it fell in her face. He couldn't pull her down and hold her to his chest like she needed. He was just useless as he lied there, bound so he wouldn't hurt anybody.
But once the news was out, and he was caught up to speed, he didn't think he was strong enough to help her. The fact that he might not ever see Alec's eyes, hear him talk, or fight with him in the gym again was…
"Holy shit," Jace exclaimed as his head collapsed against the pillows. He looked up at the ceiling, eyes wide and shocked. "Holy fucking shit. Holy mother fucking shit."
Her hands were on his face instantly, and suddenly her face was in his lines of vision. "Are you–" she stopped herself, shaking her head. "Actually, never mind. I know you're not."
"This is so fucked up. I don't even have to mean to hurt people in order for me to do the damaging."
Her hands came up, cupping his face lightly as she studied him. "Jace, you know that there isn't anything you can do. Don't beat yourself up over this."
He closed his eyes and shook his head. He didn't believe her. "If I hadn't have kept him after practice, even after Michael left our first private practice, then he wouldn't have–"
"I told you that we don't know what happened." She gripped his face tighter as he tried to look away, and she pulled his eyes back to hers. "And until we do, anything could've happened. The brakes could've given out. It could've been an alignment issue. Hell, I don't know, but I know that it's not your fault."
There was a knock at the door, quiet enough to keep Max asleep but loud enough so they could hear it. Both teenagers turned their gaze to see Magnus standing there.
He eyed the two of them carefully, before pulling hands out from behind his back to reveal a key. "Jace," he warned, looking at Jace warily. "Are you going to be able to handle yourself this time?"
Jace nodded, and without another word, Magnus tossed Clary the keys, closing the door again.
"I'm guessing you want out of these?" Clary teased, touching the handcuffs with her fingers. Even though her heart wasn't in it, he smiled a bit at her to ease the mood. "Will you be a good boy?"
"I'll be anything you want me to be." She laughed lightly, and started to work on his left hand. "A good boy," he said and once his hand was released, he grabbed her. Without warning, he yanked her towards him, but didn't kiss her. Their faces were inches apart as Jace had quickly sat up, and he smirked down at her. "Or a bad boy."
"Jace." Her voice gave away what she really wanted. There was a hint of a warning, a hint of wanting, and a hint of a plea.
But he knew that now wasn't the time and place. For the first time in a long time, he dropped the act. "I know," he mumbled, letting Clary go and falling back on the bed. "Not the time, place, or situation. I got it."
She silently undid his other hand, and he was finally free of his bonds. Her hand gripped his, squeezing slightly. "Do you want to see him?"
Jace's eyes shot to hers. "Alec?" She nodded. "I don't think I can. I can't handle that right now," he said, dropping his gaze and sitting up. He pulled his legs to his chest, wrapping his arms around them like a child. Clary immediately went to his side, her hands rubbing his back. "Is that bad that I don't want to see him?"
"You have reasons not to see him, so I don't think so."
"He's like my brother though. I feel like I should–"
"Do what's best for you," Clary finished for him. That wasn't exactly what he was going to say. "That's all you need to do. Alec is in good hands, so you just need to do what's best for you at this point."
"Sometimes I feel what's best for me is to get away. To go somewhere no one can find me, and stay there for hours on end until I get my head straight."
Clary's hand went to his hair, playing with the curls. His eyes closed at the sensation. "Why don't you?"
He shrugged. "Something always comes up that's more important than my need for space." He took a deep breath, sighing louder than necessary. "Like now. All I want to do is get away, but I have the game tomorrow. And without Alec, the team needs me now more than ever. I can't just disappear for a few days. Isabelle needs me. Magnus, sadly, is going to need me. And Max…"
His eyes drifted over to the boy on the chair, still sound asleep. He looked so innocent, so young, so helpless and Jace knew that out of everyone, Max was the one he really needed to watch out for. He couldn't just leave while Alec was the way he was.
"I have to stay here," he finally said through the silence. He looked up, meeting Clary's eyes that were full of concern and worry. "As much as I want to leave at times, I know that there is no way I can."
She nodded, understanding his reasoning, and put her forehead against his. One of his hands instinctively came up to cup her cheek as he breathed her in. Something about her always left him breathless when she was like this. So caring, so loving, and so his.
She wrapped her arms around his neck, keeping him trapped against her. "Jace," her voice brushed against his face, heating it and causing sensations that he'd never knew he needed or wanted. "Just know that while you're here for everyone else, I'm here for you."
He nodded, knowing that one day, she'd be the rock he'd have to lean on otherwise he would break. The problem was that left her open for the pain he was feeling.
The last thing he wanted was for her to get caught in the crossfire because that's the last thing Jace wanted. He'd do anything to keep her safe from the darkest parts of himself, from her family, from anyone that would hurt her, but Sebastian's words kept ringing through his head to shoot him down every time.
You'll try to keep her safe. That doesn't mean she will be safe.
It was terrifying to think that he wouldn't be able to protect her, to be there for her. Jace's grip on her tightened as his mind raced, his arms wrapping around her waist. The bed frame was in the way, but she got the message and pressed against him where the room allowed, burying her face in the crook of his neck.
They didn't speak. All they did was hold each other as tight as possible, listening to the sound of Max's deep breaths, the beeping monitors around the room, and the sound of voices outside the door. IF this was all that Jace could have, just the girl in his arms at the moment, then he'd be okay. He had to keep repeating it to himself, over and over again, that he'd be okay if Clary was there. He might break at some point, but he had a strong belief that she'd be there to pick him back up. His faith in her, something that grew too quickly in such a short amount of time, was officially his lifeline. Even if he hated to admit it, he needed her more than she needed him.
Or so he thought.
It wasn't until he registered that she was shaking that something was wrong. At first, they were just holding each other, and then he felt her tears on his neck and her body shake under his arms.
"Clary?" Jace tightened his grip, worry setting inside of him. She shook her head, burying it deeper when he tried to pull back to look at her. He let her win, stopping his attempts to push her back and let her hold him like she needed. "What's going on?"
It took a while before she was actually able to speak. Jace did his best to try to calm her down and stop the tears. The thing was, he isn't good at this kind of thing. He'd never really had to comfort people since he surrounded himself with people who can take care of themselves. Alec didn't talk. Isabelle was as strong as a lion and didn't show weakness, and Robert and Maryse, Isabelle's parents, were just like their daughter.
So now, having his girlfriend crying on his shoulder, and actually wanting to help her was new to him. If this was Aline, he'd have pushed her off and left. But Clary wasn't Aline, and Jace wasn't the same as he was two weeks ago.
"I'm sorry," Clary finally said. He didn't realize that she'd finally stopped shaking and crying, but didn't pull away from him. She talked into his neck, the feeling of her breath on his skin making his hair stand up on end. "It's just… I don't know… She's just–"
"Clary, you don't have to tell me if you're not ready yet," he whispered, twisting his head to kiss her hair. "I'm here for you," he repeated her earlier words with just as much emotion, "With or without the details."
"It's my mom," she breathed out, clinging to him like white on rice. "She's here."
Jace was immediately brought to full attention. "Here?"
"Yeah," she sniffed, and finally, after what felt like an eternity, she pulled back.
Jace's heart broke at the look on her face. It was destroyed. Her eyes were red. Her cheeks were tear stained. Her hair was a mess, although everything about her was still the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.
He didn't really know what to say though. He wasn't sure any words could actually help. "What can I do to help?"
Her hand came up, touching his cheek as she took slow, deep breaths. The green, captivating orbs searched his eyes, going back and forth from one to another. "This isn't the best idea, but please, just get me out of here, Jace. Please."
REVIEW :D Again, there weren't too many reviews last time and my motivation kind of dropped. If you want the story to come faster, you have to tell me. PM works well too!
And before you all freak out, Alec. Will. Not. Die. He's one of my favorites, so there's no way I'm killing him off, but I needed something dramatic, and he just happened to fit the bill. Sad, but true. You'll see him again though, so be patient with me.
Stay tuned :)