NEW CHAPTER!

A new character is coming in to this chapter, one you all know. Its towards the end.

Its mostly Channy, and there is a heated scene so be warned if you are uncomfortable with that!

I havent been to overwhelmed with school ... YET so I will hopefully have the next chapter out early next week if not this weekend! :)

ENJOY!

Sonny's POV

Chad and I sat on his bed later that night watching TV (and not any of his shows) I had put in friends because seriously, who doesn't love friends?

The silence between us was a little less then comfortable, however as I could feel Chad's eyes watching me. I knew why, he was wondering about my break down earlier, what could have possibly triggered such a violent and sudden outburst. Truth be told, I didn't know.

My mind seemed to have control over itself, I knew cutting was not the answer, but I had an addiction and when you have an addiction, nothing seems logical anymore. There had to be some way to get help, I couldn't afford to go to a treatment center (both financially and time wise) also, I couldn't see a therapist without tipping off the pap (and with them; the world) about what was going on. But I know this needs to stop, I want it to stop, but I don't know if I can, and that scares me

Just then the TV paused. The faces on the screen stopping in comical positions that made a smile come to my lips. Chad turned to face me, running his hands up and down my jean covered legs.

"Sonny, we need to talk about this eventually" he said knowing I would figure out what he was talking about

I squirmed uncomfortably, Chad was my love, and I trusted him, but I was nervous. Could I tell my perfect boyfriend how terrible I really was? How broken I was on the inside when on the outside I looked … well, sunny.

I looked away from his blue eyes "I don't know what you want me to say, Chad"

His hands stopped their movements on my legs. Chad then took my hands in his and pulled me close to him so we were sitting cross legged face to face on the bed.

"Please, Sonny" He begged "tell me what's wrong. It kills me to see you so sad and fighting so hard, I don't ever know if you're smiling because you're happy or if its because you wants me to think you're happy! He yelled getting louder and louder as he spoke. "I feel so helpless and it is killing me to not be able to help you more. Please," he said again, more softly this time. "please just tell me what's going on."

His desperate tone broke my will and with that, I gave in.

"I honestly don't know what happened today, Chad. Everything just pilled up I guess and … I broke." It was the truth, I hoped he could understand what I was saying.

He nodded his head, signalling me to continue.

I took a deep breath in, knowing this wasn't going to be easy to say. "I - I can't begin to explain how broken I have been for the longest time." I began "You know ever since I was a kid I have been having problems but you don't know how hard I am struggling. I have a wonderful life and I am thankful for it, but I hate my life because I don't understand anything."

I was in hysterics at this point. I was crying and practically screaming at Chad's blanket (as I refused to look at his face) but I knew I needed to let this out. It had all been bottled in for far to long.

"I don't understand, Chad! Why do I have to be the one to struggle with this? Why was I the one that got the addiction? WHY ME? I'm just so broken, and I don't know what to do anymore." I sobbed finishing my rant.

'Shhhh, Sunshine. Shhhh. Everything is going to be okay." He whispered into my ear. "I love you Sonny."

I simply nodded into his chest, to overwhelmed to do anything more.

We sat in silence for a few moments before Chad started speaking again.

"Sonny, I can't answer that question for you, only you can."

He saw me open my mouth to protest. I couldn't answer that question, I had no idea why I had been cursed with my life. Had I done something wrong to trigger this? Was this all my fault?

I frowned. Chad saw this and continued speaking before I could.

"Maybe you can't answer that question right now, but I promise you, Sonny one day you will understand. I believe that everything happens for a reason, sometimes they just happen out of our control."

I sighed exhausted. Today had been a very emotionally long day and I was glad it was over. I had to keep hope that maybe tomorrow would be better.

"I'm tired" I mumbled to Chad, pushing him down on the bed so I could curl up into his side

To my surprise Chad resisted my push sitting up straight to catch my attention "One last thing, Sonny."

"Yes?"

Chad took a breath and pulled me close to him so our chests were pushed together. "I know I haven't always been there for you, and I haven't always treated you right, but I will always be here for you and I will try to fix you. Things aren't going to be easy and a lot of this is going to be one step forward and two steps backwards, but we have to try. I believe in you and I believe in us. You are so strong, Sunshine and you inspire me in so many ways that I can't even begin to explain. You struggle with so much by yourself but still manage to stay strong through it all and keep a smile on your beautiful face. When you want to give up you keep fighting and through everything you remain selfless. Sonny, remember its okay to make mistakes, its how we learn. But don't let them bring you down. I'm here for you and I love you no matter what. I promise."

By the end we were both in tears.

What would I do without him?

"I love you to, Chad. So much. Thank you!" I bawled pushing my face into his neck "Thank you" I said again.

That's how we fell asleep that night, curled up together on Chad bed, both of our cheeks still wet from crying.

It had been an emotional night for the both of us, but we got out so much that needed to be said and we were going to be stronger because of this.

…

The next morning I woke up in bed alone, I rubbed my eyes and went into the bathroom attached to Chad's bedroom. I took a look at myself in the mirror and groaned. My hair looked like a rats nest, not to mention my panda eyes that I had gotten last night from crying. I was a mess.

I tried to brush my hair but gave up quickly on that deciding to just hope in the shower instead.

After showering I made my way downstairs and found Jessie and Chad sitting together on the couch watching TV.

"Well good morning sleepy head" Jessie yelled when she spotted me in the room. "Bout time you woke up."

Chad rolled his eyes at Jessie and the three of us made our way to the massive kitchen.

"We were going to wait for you to wake up, but it got kind of late…" Chad muttered awkwardly, looking guilty for eating without me.

I smiled gently walking over to grab some bread to throw in the toaster "No, that's fine, Ill just make myself some toast."

I put the bread in and sat down on a bar stool. Chad walked over and stood in front of me allowing me to hold his hands as we waited.

"Sooooo…" Jessie said making the word fan out for a few seconds longer than normal. "I heard a little of what you guys were saying last night." She said looking like a kid getting caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "I won't pry, but is there anything you guys want to talk about?"

This is why I loved Jessie. She asked not because she was curious, but because she was concerned. We may have had problems - and a lot of them - in the past, but we have both grown up since then and we have become amazing friends.

Chad looked at me. It was his way of saying "You can tell her if you want to, its your call."

I turned to Jessie "How much did you hear?" I questioned.

She squirmed uncomfortable at my question "umm … pretty much all of it"

I nodded, I didn't mind if she knew, I trusted her and Chad and I were yelling quite a bit last night.

"That's fine." I said. "I don't really want to talk about it right now, but if I change my mind you'll be the first to know. Okay?"

Jessie smiled looking relieved that I wasn't mad at her eavesdropping "Sounds good to me! So what are we going to do today?"

Chad shrugged and I didn't answer.

"Well, I have some errands I want to run, if you guys don't mind?" Jessie said.

"That's fine." Chad and I said at the same time.

The three of us laughed together at that and then we all went our separate ways.

Jessie ran upstairs quickly to grab her purse before leaving. Chad and I sat down on the couch not turning on the TV though this time.

"Later love birds" Jessie yelled as she closed the door behind her.

"Well, we have a few hours with the house alone to ourselves, I have a few ideas of what we can do." Chad said suggestively.

He didn't wait for me to respond before he pulled me into a heated and passionate kiss.

I didn't think twice about responding, I straddled his lap as he kissed me. Our lips were parted, tongs exploring each others mouths. Chad's mouth started to move down my neck.

"Chad" I moaned.

Chad's hands reached for my shirt and I let him lift it over my head. His lips went back to mine and I felt his hands moving alone my shoulders, down my back and settle at my waist.

His hand then started to move forward reaching for the button on my pants.

I had thought about sex before with Chad, - though I wouldn't ever admit it - I didn't believe in sex only after marriage, I believed in sex with the one you loved. I did love Chad, and I wanted him.

But I also knew I was young, we had no protection with us at the moment and getting pregnant was not what I needed right now. I wasn't ready.

I figured that out in the time it took Chad to undo the button on my pants.

I pulled away as it came undone.

"Chad, no. I'm not ready." I told him.

Chad nodded "I figured, I love you Sonny and I want you, but I can wait until you're ready." His voice was husky, indicating how much he really wanted me, but I wasn't ready.

After our close call Chad and I spend the rest of the day relaxing and baking. Well, I was baking, Chad watched and ate the food.

It was nice to spend some time alone like this, just the two of us.

Jessie came back about 3 hours later with a single bag. She greeted us casually and asked us how our day was. We told her what we had done - skipping our make out session that almost went to far - and she excused herself saying she had something to do.

Around supper time she emerged from her bedroom with a large smile on her face.

"Great news guys!" She yelled as she ran down the stairs full speed jumping the last few steps "I can move back into my apartment!"

She kept speaking but I wasn't listening. The threats were gone, and I too could move back into my apartment. There was no reason not to. But was it what I wanted? I had spent what felt like so long living with Chad in his house that it felt more like home than my apartment did now.

What about my mother? When she came back what would happen?

"Sonny?" A voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Huh? Sorry."

Jessie laughed "did you hear anything I just said?" She asked me.

I tried to keep my tone light as to not let them in on my thoughts "No sorry, I think I was somewhere else for a second. What's up?"

Jessie repeated herself in a happy tone completely unaware to my thoughts. "I said, I was thinking about moving back in tomorrow. As much as I love it here with you guys, and don't get me wrong I am so thankful you guys let me stay here, but I kind of miss having my own place."

I nodded, as much as I didn't agree with her on the feeling of wanting to have my own place again, I understood what she meant. "Yeah, I totally get it." I told her.

She smiled and nodded "I'm going to start packing" She yelled already running up the stairs to her room … or her used to be room.

After getting a taste of living with Chad, I knew I didn't want to go back to living by myself or with my mother. I loved my mom more than anything, but she didn't know what was going on with me like Chad did, and if I wanted to recover I couldn't be living alone. I needed the support of my boyfriend to do this.

I know I want to live with him now. I cant imagine not waking up to him every morning. Or having to fall asleep without him in the same bed. No matter how big this house was next to my apartment, I knew that without Chad it would feel far to big and far to empty.

I knew what I wanted, I just didn't know how to tell anyone this. What if Chad said he wanted his own place for a bit to? Or what if my mother wanted me to stay at home. She didn't know my place was sitting vacant right now.

"What's on your mind, Sunshine?" Chad asked me.

"Nothing, why?" I said. But I knew he didn't believe me by the look on his face.

"Nice try, what's up."

I sighed. "Its safe to go back home now."

"You aren't happy about that?" he asked taking not of my unpleased tone.

To say I was nervous to answer his question was the understatement of the centaury. I had to tell him. I would either get the invitation I wanted or the rejection I feared.

"Umm, well er, I kind of wanted to say here." I said feeling a blush rise to my cheeks.

"You're blushing" Chad noted stroking my cheek but becoming serious again.

"If you want to stay here you are more than welcome to, Sonny. I love having you live with me. And to be completely honest, I don't want you to move back into your apartment."

"Are you asking me to move in" I asked feeling the hope start to build in me.

It was Chad's turn to be awkward now "uh, yes?" He said as more of a question than an answer.

I felt a massive classic Sonny smile spread across my face.

"Of course I will move in with you!" I screamed. Pulling my boyfriend in for a kiss.

Surprisingly, Chad was the one who pulled away first.

"You should probably tell your mom." He noted.

"Oh yeah, I guess I should."

I grabbed my cell and found my mom under my contacts and clicked the call button. She answer after a few rings.

"Hey, Sonny! How are you, Hun?" She yelled excited and peppy as always.

I smiled, excited to tell her the news. "I'm good mom, I just wanted to tell you something."

I looked at Chad and smiled. "Chad asked me to move in."

There was silence on the line for a few seconds.

"Mom?" I said to the speaker wondering if my phone had died.

My question was answer when her voice came back over the line.

"Over my dead body you're moving in with that boy!" She yelled.

"Mom? What do you -"

"No!" She interrupted me. "I want you away from him right now, I'm coming home." She said.

And with that the line went dead.

Please Review! :) I will answer questions (If they don't give to much away) and send a spoiler to everyone who reviews!