Chapter 14

While I drool over the hotness in my newly acquired Seireitei Swimsuit Monthly, Chojirou makes a show of serenely walking back-stage after he had resigned to his fate. It was an accepting expression he wore, not one that indicated in any way that he resented the position he'd been put in. An elegant way to leave the room.

Its probably the only positive reaction I've gotten for my Auction from the one's being sold.

"It is with the upmost gratitude that I take Anime-Kisses as my owner," he says to the crowd.

Yamamoto looks okay with this turn-out of events, and does not utter a word as his lieutenant exits the premises. No one else really seems to care, anyway. Even in death, Chojirou is still unpopular to them.

Meanwhile, Mayuri trolls around onstage looking for little children to devour...

KurosakiCrystal18: "Inoue, you get all sorts of different, comfy clothes, Ichigo as an all-time BODYGUARD against rapists-"

"RAPISTS? WHERE?" I howl, whipping out a big-ass machete from nowhere. "I'LL CUT THEIR DICKS OFF!" A stagnant silence falls over the room, leaving me hanging with my weapon raised over my head.

No one in the audience claims to be a rapist. They would have to have a death wish to want to go against me and my awesome machete...which, may I add, is the very machete Jason Vorhees used to slaughter everyone on Friday the 13th. So who wouldn't want to get their appendage (or any appendage to speak of) cut off by such a legendary blade?

Behind me, KurosakiCrystal continues to bombard Orihime with insane offers and an abundance of fun, happiness, eternal awesomeness, and a tremendous unlimited amount of red bean paste. It seemed everybody around here was pro-red bean paste.

Such copious amounts of one food made Mayuri nauseous. Not that he cared to share such information about himself, no matter if it was something as unsophisticated as his favorite color. He didn't "share". He wasn't the sharing type. All these congenial onlookers seemed so... fake. They were a curiosity, but it was only a fleeting feeling.

Awhile ago, his desire to dismember the participants in this bidding feud had resulted in a massive riot.

Everyone seemed under the grand delusion he was some ornery sadist.

Maybe that was true, but there was no accounting for taste. At least he didn't lie about being insane.

He knew very well what he was, and that was what divided him from every other blundering idiot that went up on that block. He seeked the truth, and he addressed the truth.

He was very direct and that made him come off as an asshole, but he was a scientist and he didn't believe in the roundabout way. He spoke his mind, and he was a realist. He didn't assume to do something unless he knew it was within his grasp.

He sort of wished he could dissect the Auction, but that was unrealistic. All he could do was put up with it.

His only outward expression towards this torture was to deride the event and the people participating.

He was restless and he didn't have anything to do, so he skulked around stage to look for something meaningful that would rouse his interest. To those watching, he appeared to be looking for little children to devour, but, oh no, there was a more sinister idea to his actions.

Or maybe it was possible he only wanted people to think that, certain people being Kevvy Talks, who was writing his internal monologue just to make this chapter possible.

"DAMMIT, MAYURI, I'M TRYING TO WRITE A CHAPTER HERE! MAKE SOME USEFUL THOUGHTS!" Kevvy screams nearby.

"No," Mayuri says, just as Devil'sEyeAlchemist comes flying out of fucking nowhere and glomps the mad scientist. "I WILL HAPPILY BID ON MAYURI!"

"How dare you touch me?!" Mayuri screeches, stumbling over to the edge of the stage where angry fan-haters try to snatch and grab at his robe to haul him off for some serious damage.

"I refuse to be treated like this. I am a distinguished captain! AND WHERE THE HELL IS NEMU?"

"She has yet to go up on Auction," Kevvy points out.

"I demand to be taken back to the Soul Society and have my zanpaku-to returned to me!"

"Not unless you choose an owner."

"I am not owned, merely bargained with. The only way someone will be taking me from this platform is if they have the overconfidence to partner with me and follow all that it entails. I might even be willing to cut down on surgical procedures that could produce horrific scarring."

"You're sick!" someone in the audience screams. Mayuri just chuckles evilly.

"No one's going to bid on you with that kind of offer," Kevvy mumbles.

Eternal Darkness 99: "Mayuri, I will give you a state of the art lab with anything you could ever want in it. I can also get you anybody you want to dissect."

"I already have a lab. As for what I can dissect, that is not in question. I just need worthy specimens," Mayuri says, and slinks away.

To be continued...

Next chapter, Orihime will be walking off the stage to the bidder who has secured ownership of her. That might be you, reader, so place a bid after you've read this chapter before it's too late or renew your bid if you've already placed one.

Mayuri's being a douchebag, but hopefully he might find a home also with his, erm...special requirements. CONGRATS, ANIMEKISSES, YOU ARE THE FIRST READER TO HAVE SECURED OWNERSHIP OF TWO CHARACTERS. Remember, there are TONS more characters to come.

NOTICE: In the beginning, I warned readers to wait until their character was on the block before they bid, to prevent an excess of bids in advance that I might not be able to keep track of.

Unfortunately, I've seen several people that have lost the chance to have a say for their character of choice because of this, and I am now urging you to bid in advance as you wish if you are unsure you will be there when a new chapter is posted.

I hope everybody is having fun and that you continue to bid. :)

See you next chappy.