AN: A big thank you to Alilypea for going through my terrible grammar. This is the second last chapter dear readers, we're almost at the end. There is some sexy time in this chapter (finally) and I hope you enjoy it! I don't own Mass Effect, nor do I make any money from this.

The crew was gone; Shepard ran her hands over her face as she looked at the galaxy map with blurred vision, letting out a loud sigh. Shepard had a feeling that eventually the Collectors would track them down, but she never thought that they would take the entire crew.

"Are you alright Shepard?" EDIs voice came over the speaker above Shepard's head.

"No, I'm not even close to alright. All the crew is gone, I almost lost Joker." Shepard's voice broke, "I'm about to go through the Omega four relay and I have no idea what I'm going to find or if I'll be able to help the crew."

"My research shows that if anyone can pull this off it's you, Shepard."

"Thanks EDI," Shepard didn't ask for the odds, she already knew that they weren't in her favor. Selecting the Omega four relay Shepard turned towards the elevator, "let's see if you're right."

"ETA is four hours Commander; actually, you better make that six we should really stop for fuel." Joker's voice came over the speaker.

"Can EDI get us to the relay?" Shepard paused, "I'd like to spend some time with you before everything goes down."

"Of course, Shepard." EDIs orb appeared in front of the elevator door, "Tali would like to speak to you, and I have directed her to your cabin."

"I'll get us to the fueling station; I'll be up after that."

"Ok Jeff, see you in a bit." Shepard pressed the button for her cabin and rested against the wall for the slow elevator ride up.

Opening the door into her quarters Shepard found Tali sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Tali?" Shepard's voice drew Tali's attention, "everything ok?"

"Yes, no…"Tali shook her head, "I have a problem."

"Ok, what's your problem?" Shepard was concerned; hoping that Tali wasn't going to ask to be taken back to the fleet now, every second could mean the crew dying.

"I'm in love with Garrus," Tali laughed, "and the whole idea is so crazy I'm not sure what to do. I mean who starts a relationship six hours before a suicide mission?"

"Oh, wow." Shepard wasn't really surprised; she had caught Tali watching Garrus when she thought he wasn't looking. "So how can I help?"

"I don't know," Tali looked down, "I don't want to die knowing that he never saw me, the real me out side of this suit. I thought that considering you're with Joker maybe you could give me some tips?"

Shepard flushed, "I can give you tips, but it won't be based on Joker…we haven't, well you know…"

"Really?" Tali was stunned, "but you've been together for months!"

"Yeah I know," Shepard sat beside Tali, "but he wanted to wait until he was fully healed before we tried, we've done other things but not…that."

"Oh," Tali paused, "do you think tonight?"

"No," Shepard shrugged, "after what he's been through today I don't think he's going to be in the mood."

"Sorry, Shepard," Tali patted Shepard's thigh, "that's got to be frustrating."

Shepard nodded, "pretty much sucks, I feel like I'm crawling out of my skin." Shepard grabbed Tali's hand and stood up, "but I can help you. So help me god, one of us is getting laid tonight."

Tali giggled, "Okay, where do we start?"

"Where else," Shepard walked over to her computer, "the extranet, I've never slept with a Turian before."

Joker walked out of the elevator and headed towards the door, stopping in his tracks when he heard a strange noise, was that giggling? Pressing the button to open the door for Shepard's quarters he let out a huff as Tali ran into him.

"Oh sorry Joker!" Tali waved and headed towards the elevator, "thanks again Shepard!"

"No problem girl, go get him and rock his world," Shepard winked causing Tali to laugh again, "yes, Commander!"

Shepard chuckled pulling Joker by the arm into her room, "well that was the strangest conversation that I've ever had."

"Who is she going after?" Joker glanced at Shepard's computer screen on his way past. "Are you watching porn?"

Shepard smiled, "its research, Tali is on her way to the main battery."

"Garrus?" Joker laughed. "The girl in the enviro-suit is going to the guy with the longest talons on the ship?"

"Apparently so, and judging by what I just saw on those vids she's in for a hell of a night." Shepard dropped down onto the couch.

"More than I needed to know," Joker dropped down beside Shepard and studied her face. "You ready for this?"

"Not even slightly," Shepard frowned and shook her head. "But I don't have a choice now, not when they have the crew. Are you okay? You've had one hell of a bad day."

"I'm fine, I took a pretty bad fall but thanks to the surgery nothing's broken." Joker pulled Shepard against him and took one of her hands in his. "So you're about to hit the Omega four relay, do you have any big words of wisdom you'd like to share? Any regrets in your life?"

Shepard thought about it for a second before answering, "Just one."

Joker frowned, picking up her meaning, "I'm sorry, Kai, and I know it's always been me putting a hold on things. Maybe if I had my surgery earlier-"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Shepard turned to look at him, not dropping his hand. "Do you think I'm talking about sex?"

"You weren't?" Joker was curious. "So what were you talking about?"

"No I wasn't talking about sex, though I guess it would factor in." Shepard looked down at their hands, "I regret that I may not be able to see how far this goes."

"What do you mean?"

Shepard sighed, "You know, the future. Marriage? Kids? If the Collectors and the Reapers weren't a threat where would we end up?"

"You want kids?" Joker was surprised.

"Yeah, I always have." Shepard smiled. "A boy ideally, someone I could take to the gun range on the weekends."

"Wow," Joker smiled, "you would want to do that with me?"

"Well yeah," Shepard blushed. "I've been in love with you for years, I admire your skill as a pilot, your bravery as a man. You're a kind, compassionate man who loves me. Why wouldn't I want to see that reach its full potential?"

Joker frowned, "you're talking like you don't think you're going to make it back."

"I don't know, Jeff," Shepard shrugged. "I'm going to try but I'm going against something that I can't even plan for."

"Yeah, I know," Joker ran his hand through Shepard's hair. "You have to come back to me though."

"I'm going to try," Shepard leaned into Joker's hand. "I need you to promise me something."

"Sure, what?"

"If there is a chance that you can save the crew you have to take it, even if it means leaving me behind." Shepard met Joker's stunned gaze with hers.

"Kai, you can't ask me that," Joker frowned. "You know I can't promise that"

"You have to," Shepard squeezed his hand. "You're the only one that get them out of there safely."

"I can't leave you, Kai," Joker could feel his eyes fill with tears. "I can't, don't ask me to."

"Please, Jeff," Shepard wiped Jokers tears as they started to fall. "You're all my family, I need to know that you're all going to be okay."

Joker took a shuddering breath, "only if you tell me to go. I'm not going to make that call."

Shepard pulled Joker into a hug. "Thank you, you're the only one that I would trust with this."

"You're going to fight to come back to me right?" Joker's voice cracked. "You're going to come home?"

"I'm going to try my very hardest," Shepard kissed Joker's forehead. "I'll do everything I can."

"EDI, how much longer do we have?" Joker sat back and wiped his face with his sleeve.

"We just finished re-fueling, ETA is five hours."

"Thanks EDI," Joker looked up at Shepard's face who was regarding him with concern. "So, what do you want to do?"

Shepard shrugged, "I usually just chill before battle, maybe work out. I'll leave it up to you."

"Well, if this really may be the last few hours that we have together I think I'd like to be kissing you."

"I like your plan Mr. Moreau," Shepard leaned forwards to pull Joker into a kiss, swinging her leg over his to straddle him. Joker tensed for a minute before relaxing, while he still wasn't used to having Shepard in this position, but she was always very careful.

"Someone's feeling a little friendly tonight," Joker placed a trail of kisses down Shepard's neck causing her to grind against his lap.

"I could say the same for you," Shepard reached for the bottom of her shirt pulling over her head in a quick movement and tossing it across the room, leaving only her sports bra between them.

"Kai, why're you getting naked?" Joker ran his hands up her sides, trailing his fingers over the smooth skin.

Shepard flinched and pulled back before muttering, "wishful thinking."

Joker frowned at the sudden change in Shepard. "What did you just say?"

Shepard fought to put on her best Commander face, trying to stop the sting of rejection from showing, "nothing, don't worry about it. I'm going to grab a drink of water I'll be back in a second."

Shepard walked to the bathroom quickly, shutting the door behind her. Joker looked at the closed door, confused and unsure of what had caused the change.

"Tali is requesting entry," EDI appeared in the corner drawing Joker away from his inner reflection.

"Sure, let her in." Joker stood to make his way towards the door.

Tali walked into the room and looked around. "Where's Shepard?"

"The bathroom," Joker shrugged. "I think I upset her, but I'm not sure what I did."

Tali sighed, "Joker, are you planning on sleeping with her tonight?"

Joker flushed a dark red at the question, "I sleep with Shepard every night."

"That's not what I meant and you know it," Tali put her hands on her hips and Joker wondered if that was a stance all women did when they were mad at someone or if she had picked it up from Shepard.

"I'm not sure if I want to talk about this," Joker walked back over to the couch sitting down he hunched over, burying his face in his hands. "It's complicated."

"Because you're making it complicated, Shepard loves you Joker." While Joker couldn't see it he was sure Tali was frowning behind her mask.

"Tali?" The bathroom door opened and Shepard walked out, her face flushed. "Why aren't you with Garrus?"

"Have you been crying?" Tali walked over to Shepard and grabbed her hand. "Where's your shirt?"

"No, I'm fine." Shepard pointed to the floor, "there's my shirt, now why are you here?"

"Um, we need…" Tali rubbed the back of her head, "…you know…"

"Of course, I don't know why I didn't think of it earlier." Shepard walked over to her bedside cabinet and pulled out a small metal tin handing it to Tali, "better safe than sorry."

"Want me to stay and knock some sense into him?" Tali tilted her head towards Joker.

"No, I want you to go downstairs and get laid," Shepard pushed Tali towards the door. "I better feel the ship rocking."

Tali let herself be pushed into the hall before shouting over her shoulder, "well, then Joker better get to work!"

"Were you crying?" Joker took the few stairs to stand in front of Shepard and crossed his arms, "tell me the truth."

"Yes," Shepard shrugged, "if you really want to know."

"Why? What did I do?" Joker was frustrated.

In a split second Shepard felt her emotions reach a boiling point, the hurt of rejection backed by months of sexual frustration causing her tone to be short. "You don't want to hear it, so why are you even asking?"

Joker winced at the hostility in Shepard's voice. "Because I don't want to spend the next four hours with you mad at me, and I don't even know what I did wrong!"

"Fine," Shepard started pacing. "I'm pent up as hell, Jeff, and I'm distracted all the time. I don't know if I've ever been more sexually frustrated in my life, I can't get sex with you out of my head. EDI actually alerted Miranda to my "sudden drop in performance" because I get so carried away with my day dreams I'm getting shot more than ever."

"You've seen a 27% increase in damage to your equipment on average, Shepard. I felt that I should inform Miranda for your safety." EDIs voice came over the speaker in the room. "I apologize if it caused any problems."

Joker was shocked, "Really? Wow, I didn't know that you were getting hurt becau-"

Shepard cut Joker off. "No, let me finish. I feel like I'm crawling out of my skin here, I can't sleep properly, I feel tense. Every time someone brushes past me in the hall I feel like my nerves are on fire. ran all kinds of tests to make sure that my cybernetics weren't failing because I thought that there must be something wrong with me, I've never had being horny affect me to the point where I thought I may be sick."

Joker watched Shepard as she paced a track into the floor in front of him; now that she mentioned it the tension was clearly visible. Shepard looked like a caged tiger, her muscles tight under her skin and her movements abrupt.

"And then to top it all off, you come up here tonight and tell me that you want to be kissing me, and for some stupid reason I let myself feel a small sliver of hope that maybe tonight you will finally want to fuck me and when I take off my shirt you ask me why, and I get shot down yet again. So here I am, Jeff." Shepard turned to face Joker and shrugged, "I'm terrified that I might be dead again in a few hours' time and all I can think about is what the hell I have to do to convince you to make love to me because I can't bear the thought of dying without knowing what it's like to be with you."

Joker was overwhelmed, never had he had a woman desire him so much. Looking at Shepard standing in front of him he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "Ask…"

"What?" Shepard was confused.

"Ask me," Joker could tell that his voice had dropped to the lower tone he normally only used when they intimate.

Shepard crossed her arms in front of her chest and regarded Joker with skeptical eyes, taking a deep breath she decided to take a chance, "Jeff, make love to me."

Joker felt what was left of his self-restraint give way and he closed the gap between them with two steps, bending over he scooped Shepard into his arms earning him a loud squeal. Walking over to the bed, he gently dropped Shepard down before working on the button at the top of her pants.

"Jeff, what are you doing?" Shepard let out a gasp as Joker traced his tongue over her collar bone.

"Too many clothes," Joker tried the button again with no success. "Dammit, Kai, if you want to keep these pants you better help me."

Shepard laughed. "Okay, calm down for a second. You better lose some clothes too, I know it's been awhile for me but last I checked you needed to be naked too."

Joker pulled his shirt over his head throwing it behind him. "Yeah, that's true. It's probably been longer for me though."

"Oh yeah?" Shepard lifted her hips pulling her pants and underwear down together. "How long?"

"You first," Joker stepped out of his pants before lying down on the bed next to Shepard.

"I guess that would be about 5 years if you count the two that I was gone for. I dated this nice guy when I was in N7, he got deployed out in a colony and eventually stopped calling." Shepard shrugged before lying back. "You?"

"Not since that time I told you about, when I broke." Joker blushed, "more years than I care to count."

"You never tried again?" Shepard rolled to lie on her side, tracing her fingers over Jokers chest.

Joker shook his head, "I was too scared too, and then I was in training. You spend a lot of time in training to become the best pilot in the world you know?"

"Yeah I can imagine," Shepard laughed, "but you never met anyone in training?"

"No, I was waiting for someone like you. Someone who would understand that I would never be able to be into rough stuff, that it would always be slow and gentle."

"You mean that you won't fuck me against the fish tanks?" Shepard trailed her hand down Jokers stomach, watching his body react to her attention. "Or over the desk?"

"Well…oh god," Joker closed his eyes as Shepard grabbed his cock and squeezed. "I'm sure we can make it happen considering we had the surgery and all."

"So what's your plan for tonight?" Shepard moved her hand slowly.

"Not much if you keep that up," Joker pulled Shepard's hand away. "But I was thinking of starting with this."

Joker gently pushed Shepard on to her back and ran his hands over Shepard's bare skin, stopping to cup her breasts gently lifting the weight, and kneading the soft flesh. Kissing Shepard's neck Joker's hands continued the journey down Shepard's body only stopping once they found the small cluster of nerves at the top of Shepard's already wet pussy.

"Jeff," Shepard gasped as Joker's fingers traced a lazy circle around her clit, "don't tease me."

Joker dropped his hand slightly, gently pressing his middle finger inside and curling it to rub against Shepard's favorite spot, "I'm not teasing, I'm getting you ready. You're so tight…"

Shepard rolled her hips into Joker's hand trying to increase the friction. "Right now I don't care if it hurts, I just want you."

Joker let out something between a groan and a growl and shifted to rest between Shepard's legs. Dropping his head into her shoulder he sighed.

"What's wrong?" Shepard felt her heart ache at the thought Joker had changed his mind.

"I'm scared," Joker barked out a sour laugh, "last time didn't go so well."

"Jeff, look at me," Shepard waited until Joker's green eyes met hers, "we'll take it slow, you'll be fine."

Joker nodded once before positioning himself against her tight entrance, momentarily unsure of how to continue, "Ready?"

"Are you kidding? I've been ready for years," Shepard locked her ankles behind Joker's ass guiding him as he slowly entered her.

"Fuck," Joker could feel his dick twitching in reaction to Shepard's heat enveloping him. "So tight."

Shepard tried to rock her hips and found herself pinned under Joker's weight. "For the love of God, move, Jeff."

Joker shifted his weight back onto his arms so he could look down at Shepard, her lips flushed and her eyes glazed with lust. "You're beautiful," Joker pulled back as far as he could without losing contact and pushed back in slowing slightly before their hips met.

Shepard gasped and clawed at Joker's back as his confidence built and his thrusts increased in speed and force, rocking her hips to meet his. Shepard could feel her muscles tightening as the pleasure seated itself in her core and steadily began to build.

Pulling Joker into a kiss she pressed on his shoulder. "Roll onto your back."

"Kai…I…we can't," Joker's movement stopped and he looked down at her with a frown.

"Jeff, you idiot, you can. You always could, surgery or not. It never mattered. I want to try this with you if you'd relax and let it happen." Shepard pushed again; Joker hesitated for a second before allowing the change in position.

"Please be careful," Joker rested his hands on Shepard's hips as she settled above him.

Leaning forwards Shepard pressed the button on the music player resting on her bedside table filling the cabin with a slow sensual beat. "Relax and enjoy the show."

Shepard closed her eyes and let the music fill her senses, reaching she pulled at the band holding her hair up shaking it out around her. Running her hand down her body she started rubbing her clit in time with the beat of the music, gently pulling up and rolling her hips before dropping back down to repeat the motion again. Soon her body was overwhelmed, the music filling her ears and the feeling of Joker sliding in and out of her body, how he would let out a little gasp when her hair ran across skin. Before she knew what was happening the pleasure from earlier was back with a burning intensity, climax her only focus.

Joker groaned at the sensation and the sight of what Shepard was doing to him, her dark hair brushing against his chest as she moved with the music. Her muscles gripping at him as her fingers danced across her clit hitting the sensitive spots he had grown to know in the past few months. Soon the pleasure grew to be too much, and Joker was clinging to the bed sheets in an attempt at lasting long enough for Shepard to finish.

"Kai, you're killing me." Joker gritted his teeth as Shepard let out a loud moan, "I can't last if you keep this up."

Shepard picked up her pace and Joker brought his hips up to meet each rotation of hers, thrusting against her gentle movement.

"Fuck," Shepard rested a hand on Joker's chest as she felt the starting of her orgasm washing over her, her muscles tightening in anticipation.

Feeling himself swell in reaction Joker grabbed Shepard's hips, digging his fingers into her sides before thrusting as hard as he dared. "Kai, let go…"

Shepard felt the world give away as her orgasm ripped through her, her eyes screwed shut and a loud moan of Joker's name on her lips. Bringing her hand away from her clit she leaned forwards on her arms as Joker continued thrusting into her.

"Kai…"Joker's back arched as he found his release, the pleasure overwhelming any concern he had about hurting himself.

Shepard dropped down onto Joker's chest; spent. "Holy shit, we are so doing that again."

Joker laughed. "You may have to give me some time, I think you killed little Jeff."

Shepard rested on an elbow to look at him, "little Jeff?"

Joker shrugged, "you haven't named it yet."

"I'll work on that," Shepard ran her hands through her hair pulling it from her face. "Good?"

"Amazing," Joker smiled, "you know you look like you're dancing when you're on top."

"And you thought you wouldn't like it," Shepard carefully moved to rest beside Joker.

"I knew I would like it, I didn't know if I would survive it. It was hit or miss for a little while."

Shepard laughed, sitting up stretching her hands above her head, "I think you did just fine."

Joker studied the lines of Shepard's back as she pulled her hair back. "You look like an angel with those wings."

"Angel eh? Is that my new pet name?" Shepard looked over her shoulder and smiled. "I thought it was Sugar Lips?"

"Which do you prefer?" Joker ran his hands over her wings and the lights of her C6X implants, glad that the new hardware had eased the discomfort of being touched.

Shepard laughed, "Angel is fine, Big Man."

"Big man?" Joker raised an eyebrow.

"Seems appropriate," Shepard stood up and found her underwear on the floor.

"Why're you getting dressed?" Joker frowned.

"Because I have to get my gear ready," Shepard pulled her shirt on. "It's prep time for the mission."

Jokers' heart gave a painful as he remembered the mission, surprised and grateful that he had an opportunity to forget. "Oh right…" he sat up and started looking for his clothes. "I guess I better get down to the cockpit."

"Hey," Shepard grabbed his arm as he walked by and pulled him into a hug. "We're going to be fine, I'll fight my way back to you so we have the chance to do that again."

Joker smiled and kissed Shepard, "I want some time for afterglow next time."

"Deal," Shepard patted Joker on the butt. "Now fly me to the Collector home world so I can kick some ass."

"Can do," Joker turned when he got to the door. "I love you."

"I love you too, Big Man." Shepard winked. "Let's do this."