Ahh the chapter is finally here. I actually had a REALLY hard time writing this. I didn't like what I had down in my original draft at all, so I basically changed the whole thing lol. But one thing is true it is in fact way better. I hope you guys like this. Oh and as for comments on my last chapter yea I know it kinda sucked and I'll admit it's not my best work shrugs what can I say. I'm just happy that you guys just continue to support me and leave comments it really makes me happy. I feel kinda close to my readers because I really put a lot of effort into my writing. Okay so here's chapter 13.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP. If somebody doesn't make that damn noise stop I'm going to murder the object and or person making it. The noise continues and I shove my pillow over my head. Then I can't take it anymore. I lift my head and realize it's my alarm clock. And I'm a half hour late for first period. "SHIT!"

I burst out of my bed and run toward my bathroom. It usually only takes me a good half hour to be ready, so by brushing my teeth in the shower and getting dressed while combing my hair, I'm ready in less than fifteen minutes.

I'm out the door and half-running; don't want to risk an injury with my poise. I'm at the classroom and I swing open the door, instantly apologizing, when I realize there's nobody there. I rub my eyes and wonder what's going on. Then I realize; it's Saturday. "Fuck!" I yell annoyed. Of all the rotten luck, I'd forgotten to turn my stupid alarm off last night.

I'm pummeling my head for my stupidity and wondering what I'm going to do now. Usually on Saturdays I would work on sketches or read, but I wasn't really in the mood to do either at the moment. It was days like these that I really wished I still had my i-pod.

I stopped roaming around campus for a while and I was sting on a bench. I looked around and surveyed the area. There were a few people like me looking bored with their lives, some people hanging out, and others napping and just being lazy. I allowed my eyes to roam and then they stopped abruptly and focused on the figure a few feet away from me. I almost fell over, and I felt my heart stop beating.

It was him. Li Sakurai. His body seemed to emit a dark persona, with his dark hair, and pitch black eyes that I remember scared me in the little time we were "friends". I felt like they were the eyes of a shark, and the way he looked at me sometimes made me feel like his prey. He was tall and muscular, and according to him, he has always been bigger than everyone, even while growing up. He has huge arms that make him intimidatingly strong. Too strong. He doesn't make you feel safe, or feel like he'll protect you. He makes you feel like if he so much as touches you, you might snap in half.

Now one might ask me, if he is so scary, than why were you "friends" in the first place. Well at the time, I was more trusting then I should have ever been. I was beyond naïve and was just plain borderline clueless. I felt invincible, like no one could ever hurt me, and I wondered to myself "who would?"

So when he transferred to my school, I foolishly played the role of a gracious host, showing him around school, offering him notes, giving him advice on which teachers spat when they spoke. The whole nine yards. I didn't even notice when his teasing and flirting passed what was considered acceptable, and crossed into inappropriate. I paid no attention to when he would look at me strangely, as if he were sizing me up in his mind, or when casual touches sent shivers down my spine. I didn't notice, because I wasn't looking clearly.

Then he saw me. He smiled a kool-aid smile, like we were best friends who hadn't seen each other in months. He ran up to me and pulled me into a tight hug. I was frozen. I couldn't raise my hands. I couldn't push him away, I couldn't even respond to him when he whispered, "I missed you." into my ear. My face was frozen as well. I could feel my face, frozen with shock and fear. He blew into my ear. I wanted to die. I could do nothing but stand there with horror vivid on my face, cowering in fear. I almost didn't realize when I was pulled from behind. I managed to move enough to see it was Koko. He pulled me back and murmured something along the lines of 'she's being called by a teacher.' It was an obvious lie considering it was a Saturday, but he just shrugged and walked away.

Koko turned me around, and I saw he was with Ruka and Natsume. Both of them giving me worried looks. Koko looked me in the eye, "Mikan, are you okay?" he whispered softly. 'No' I wanted to answer. But no sound would come out. I had finally thawed out, but I could do nothing but slide to the floor. I closed my eyes, and tears slid out of my closed sockets.

Koko touched my arm in an attempt to calm me down, but my body quivered at his touch. Koko quickly withdrew his hand Natsume knelt down and whispered, "It was him wasn't it." I opened my eyes and saw him. He was the person who knew as well as I did what true pain felt like. He knew how it felt to lose something precious. He knew how it felt to want to die. And yet he looked at me as if he was in the greatest amount of pain, just seeing me in pain. Why? Why does he care about me? Why is he always there when my world is collapsing? Why is he always there to make me feel better, to pick up the pieces?

My body acted on its own once more and reached out to him. I burst into tears and held on to him tight. He responded to the hug and brought me closer to him. "Yes." I said, in a cracked voice. I suddenly felt strong. And I finally said the words I'd been keeping in my heart for over a year. "That was the face of the man who raped me."

Third Person Point of View (it's easier for me lol)

Ruka was the only one still at the park bench. Natsume had taken Mikan back to her room and Koko was gathering all the girls together, leaving Ruka behind to reflect. His mind was completely blank and his heart was in pain. He replayed the scene where Mikan reached up to hug him over and over in his mind.

He wasn't jealous. That would be a petty thing to feel at the moment. He felt sadness. The more logical part of him was telling him it was time that he gave up on Mikan. Not only had Mikan confided in Natsume, but he had also been the one that Mikan had turned to when she was in pain. She reached out to Natsume, not him.

He sighed and looked down to the ground. "Hey" someone called from behind him. He turned around and saw Hotaru there. "Why the long face?" she asked sitting beside him. "Nothing really, just giving up is all." he said.

Hotaru raised an eyebrow, "This is about Mikan isn't it." It wasn't so much a question but a statement. "Yeah," Ruka said. "I've decided to give up on her. I haven't got a chance, besides someone like Natsume deserves to be happy." he said. "And you don't?" Hotaru said with one eyebrow raised. "Well yes but-" She cut him off, "You my friend are too self sacrificing. Don't get me wrong, giving up on Mikan is the right thing to do since you haven't got a chance with her," "Hey-" She raised her hand to cut him off again. "But your reasons for wanting to give up are all screwy. Your only real reason is that you think that Natsume deserves her more than you do. That he deserves happiness, right?" she asked. She didn't wait for a response "Well what DO you deserve Ruka? A person like you who threw their life away for the sake of a friend. A person who would give up everything and anything to help another. What do you deserve?" she asked.

Ruka was stunned. "How did you know?" he whispered. "I know everything Nogi, never forget that. Plus it's fairly obvious, there's no way that someone like you can ever be depressed, and violent... PLEASE spare me the crap; I've seen you cry after accidentally killing a spider." Ruka flushed red. "So don't go saying that you don't deserve to be happy, because you do. Mikan just isn't the girl for you. Plus she's fairly crazy about Hyugga." she said. Ruka looked confused, "How do you-" "I know everything." she said. "Now if you're done moping, I believe we have some business to attend to. Koko said we have a pest invasion?" she said.

Ruka suddenly became grave. He nodded, "Koko said he'll explain it to all of us once he gets back. All he said was that some guy just transferred who will cause problems for Mikan." Hotaru nodded. They both sat quietly on the bench, with Ruka sneaking glances at the Ice Queen, who wasn't so cold anymore.

Okay that's it. LI CAME TO THE SCHOOL!! I know I know I'm a horrible writer for inflicting pain upon my characters. But seriously I hate that guy with a passion. I wanna impale him on a stick. Who's with me? Only Natsume and Koko know who Li is, all Ruka knows is that there is some guy bothering her. I put a little Ruka and Hotaru moment at the end. Ruka has finally decided to give up on Mikan lol good thing cause the poor fool never had a chance \. Read and Review everyone