A/N: I'm sorry if the sudden death of Eren's mum was upsetting to any of you. When I started this story, I had a rough outline, but I had never planned on including a character's death. As you can imagine this chapter still mentions death and the grieving process - Eren would not just get over something like that. I wanted to show how caring and compassionate Levi could be.

Chapter 14

"Where are you?" Levi asked concerned.

"No, I'll come to you." Eren clarified, "What B&B are you staying in?" Eren was amazed that Levi had stayed in his town just in case Eren needed him.

This was his hometown, he knew it remarkably well, he knew exactly which B&B it was as soon as Levi had said the name.

"I'll be there in ten minutes," he informed Levi and hung up.

Next, he called Armin, he knew Mikasa would demand that he came back, but he could not sleep in his family home - not yet.

He explained this to Armin, told him he was safe and that he had somewhere to stay. He added that he would be back first thing in the morning to help, to be there for them. He apologised for being selfish, for not being able to help Mikasa in her time of need, but right now he needed someone too.

Armin did not question him because he had seen Levi stood over by his car earlier when Eren had appeared out of nowhere. Armin was just glad Eren had someone he could turn to.

Eren walked the short distance to the B&B, his mind still numb, his thoughts solely focused on getting to Levi.

The receptionist informed him which room belonged to Levi. Eren located it easily enough as the B&B was moderately small. He took a few calming breaths outside the door then raised his hand and knocked.

Levi opened the door and stepped aside, wordlessly allowing Eren admittance into the room.

Eren dipped his left shoulder allowing his bag to fall to the floor with a thud. He reached out and Levi was there, pulling him close and holding him securely.

Eren was weeping again, he was astonished he had any tears left he had cried so much over the last few hours. Levi was stroking his back soothingly again, one hand running over his spine and lower back, the other caressing the nape of his neck, his fingers grazing his hair.

"C-can I stay here?" Eren stuttered through his tears.

"Of course," Levi agreed without faltering.

"Just the thought of staying in my old room, surrounded by the memories of her...seeing her everywhere I looked..."

"I understand," and he did he had lost people too.

Eren pulled away and looked down into Levi's face, Levi met his gaze and said, "When was the last time you had a drink?" concern evident in his tone. The last thing Eren's family needed was for Eren to get ill, or neglect himself.

Eren had not had a drink for a while, in fact, not since his arrival at the hospital.

Levi tutted and occupied himself making them both some tea using the hotel facilities supplied in his room.

Eren sat on the end of the double bed, he felt shaky and tired - exhausted actually.

Levi handed him a mug of tea, which Eren took gladly, offering a subdued smile. Levi remained standing facing Eren. Both unsure what to say, they knew Levi staying here was a big deal, and the fact that Eren had called wanting Levi was also of importance. But it seemed disrespectful to acknowledge the significance of it in light of his mother's passing.

Of all things he should be worrying about right now - such as his mother's funeral, he was fretting about Levi instead, "I hope this room was not too costly for you?"

Levi huffed he could not believe Eren, "Let me worry about that, besides, I'm the one who decided to stay. I could have gone home." He pointed out trying to ease some of Eren's worry.

Moving to rest against the desk opposite Eren, who had remained sitting on the end of the bed, Levi asked. "Do you want to talk about it?" He wanted Eren to know that he was willing to listen.

"No, not really," Eren returned, looking over at Levi with such sorrow in his eyes.

"If you need..." Levi began, Eren cut him off, "What I need is for you to come here," he demanded a little harshly, adding quickly, "Sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out like that."

Levi crossed the room and squatted in front of Eren, placing a hand upon Eren's knee, "It's fine. I'm here. Shout at me, cry on me, ignore me - whatever, it's fine." Levi reassured.

Eren let out a single whimper, trying to hold back, yet even more, tears, he moved forwards so his forehead rested against Levi's, "The fact that you're even here is enough,"

Scooting closer to Eren, now on his knees and fully upright, between Eren's legs. Levi snaked his arms around Eren's waist and rested the side of his head against Eren's torso. Eren wrapped his own arms around Levi's neck allowing Levi to comfort him non-verbally through touch.

Being held like this felt wonderful, he felt safe and secure, but then he would remember that his mother was no longer here and would feel guilty for feeling anything remotely happy, or nice, right now. Yet, he couldn't bring himself to let go, in fact, he may have squeezed Levi a little tighter. They remained like that for some time, not saying a single word - the embrace conveying more than words could.

Eventually, Levi turned his head and groused, "I may need to move," he was referring to the discomfort in his knees from being on them too long.

Eren unfurled his arms, and Levi stood, but promptly sat down next to Eren and putting an arm around him.

"Can we move up the bed?" Eren asked, hoping Levi would be open to the suggestion. He wanted to get comfortable but still craved Levi's embrace.

Levi did not answer, rather, he settled himself at the top of the bed, using the pillows as support for his back, as he sat upright against the headboard. Eren crawled up beside him and curled himself against Levi's side, his head resting on Levi's chest and an arm slung across his stomach.

His head was rising and falling slightly with each breath Levi took and Eren could hear the steady beat of his heart. It soothed him, as did Levi's scent. His aftershave, the detergent he used on his clothes and even his natural musk. It surprisingly relaxed Eren.

Levi placed one hand on Eren's back and the other he rested near Eren's hand laying on his stomach. His hand was so close, Eren stretched so his index finger brushed against Levi's fingers, silently asking for Levi to hold his hand. Levi obliged, linking their fingers together giving Eren's hand a single squeeze.

After fifteen minutes Levi was certain that Eren had fallen asleep. He did not regret the choice he made in staying, he followed his instinct and his instinct told him to stay and be available for Eren.

He himself had gone through bereavement, grieving for his own mother, he understood everyone dealt with it differently, but one thing he was sure on, was how he could have used someone to be there. No need for cliches or words of sympathy, just a quiet comforting presence - offering support and reassurance. He was determined to be that person for Eren.

An hour or so later Eren stirred and tilted his head upwards, although the action had not helped him see Levi, "Hey," he greeted, unsure what else to say.

"Hi," Levi returned, as Eren lifted his head off of Levi's chest and shifted so he was laying on his side resting on his elbow/forearm.

"Sorry I fell asleep," Eren stated the obvious, he was no longer worried about upsetting Levi. Before this happened, he would tip-toe around Levi, wanting to initiate contact but too frightened to cross that line. However, after today, after Levi had been so tender and compassionate with him, he knew Levi would not push him away, or shut him out - not whilst he was grieving.

He reflected on the fact that he had not turned to Armin or Mikasa, that the first person he thought of, the one person he had an ache to be with, was Levi. It terrified him, but he needed Levi right now, he did not have the time to dwell on it.

Levi swung his legs over the side of the bed, and explained, "I'm just heading to the toilet, then I might order room service. I know you're probably not hungry but you should at least try and eat something."

Sitting up fully, leaning back against the headboard, legs crossed at the ankles, Eren agreed, said he would attempt to eat something.

Room service was ordered, and Levi joined Eren on the bed, they remained separated, both sat up with legs stretched out in front of them. Eren managed a couple of mouthfuls before pushing his plate away and admitting he could not eat anymore.

Mikasa had tried to call him a few times but he had put his phone on silent during his walk. He called her back and reassured her that he was safe, that although he was not fine, he was okay.

She asked him to come home, but he refused, "I can't. Please, you have to understand."

She called him selfish and Eren allowed it, she was grieving too, and grief made people act in strange ways. Mikasa was angry, and if Eren had to be the person she directed her anger at, then so be it.

"Your father needs you," she pleaded and Eren thought that was a low blow.

Trying to guilt him into returning but at what cost?

His voice broke as he tried to reason with her, "I can't face home just yet, please, do not force me, or try to guilt me into returning. We both know I cannot be of much comfort to dad right now, and right now I need to be here."

"Where is 'here'?" she screamed at him, and Eren could hear Armin in the background trying to calm her down.

"P-please," Eren kept repeating over, begging her to back off and leave him alone.

Levi took the phone and hung up on her, slinging it on the mattress as he pulled Eren onto his lap. Eren was side on, his entire upper left side pressed against Levi's body, his legs resting on the mattress as he sat in Levi's lap.

Eren curled his fingers around the fabric of Levi's sweater, clutching the front of it, burying his face against him as he breathed in Levi's comforting smell.

Moments later Levi started to run his fingers through Eren's hair.

"I'm being selfish, aren't I? For choosing to be here instead of with them, when they need me too." Eren asked, his voice small and muffled by Levi's sweater - his fingers seizing the fabric in a firmer grip, using it as an anchor. His head was swimming and he felt as if he was drowning in his emotions, yet, the feel of Levi's sweater between his fingers and the steady beat of Levi's heart assured him he was not totally lost.

"No," Levi asserted his opinion, "Or, at least no less selfish then she is being by guilt tripping you into returning to a place you explicitly told her you could not cope with being at."

"But my family, they need me..."

"So," Levi said carefully, "you're going to push your own needs to one side to suit them? They have to understand that you lost your mum today, and as much as they need to be around people, you need to be alone." Levi summed up his own views, trying not to reveal his irritation towards this Mikasa, she was hurting too.

Eren pulled back a little, meeting Levi's gaze, "But I'm not alone am I? I'm with you." He replied ashamed of himself.

"Eren," Levi muttered softly, trying to reason with him, "It's not like you bailed on them to go to a party, although if that was what you needed to do in order to cope, then so be it. There is too much unnecessary guilt around. They need to grant you some space and not begrudge you the small relief you have found."

Eren laughed, it sounded hollow, but it was all he could muster up right now, "You know, I think this is the most you have ever spoken to me."

Levi's brows pulled down into a frown, as he considered Eren's accusation, "No..." he was ready to protest.

"Insults, death threats and cussing at me does not count!" Eren stipulated boldly, wagging his finger at Levi.

"Hmm," Levi pretended to be thinking, "In that case, I think you're right."

Eren smiled in celebration, but the smile soon dropped from his face - every smile was followed by a heavy dose of guilt for forgetting for even one second, for having the nerve to laugh and smile at such a time. Not even a day had gone by and he was sat here teasing Levi.

Eren abruptly stood and began pacing, "Fuck!" he exclaimed. His hands were trembling, his throat felt as if it was constricting, and a weight had settled across his chest.

Levi was fully prepared to take everything Eren had to throw at him. If this was Eren's turn to get angry he would take the brunt.

Eren spun around to face Levi, "I'm disgusting! I'm flirting when my mum is in a mortuary and my family need me." He declared his voice rising as he spoke.

Levi remained quiet, he was not sure if Eren was done, he would wait until Eren had gotten it all off of his chest first. He could not help but make a mental note though, that Eren had referred to their exchange as flirting.

He took up his pacing again, running a hand through his hair and occasionally pulling at it in distress.

"I should have called her when she asked me to. I should have visited more. Told her I loved her more. I should have been there for her." Eren reeled off, not necessarily talking to Levi, but also talking to him at the same time. He simply needed to get his thoughts off of his chest, to utter them out loud - maybe then the guilt almost suffocating him would lighten.

Again Levi wisely remained quiet but made sure that he was watching Eren intently, so Eren knew that he was listening and that he had his full attention. Levi acknowledged that Eren's feelings were valid and that Eren needed to just release everything that was bothering him. All of his pent up anger, guilt, sorrow - he needed to express it.

"How could this happen?!" He demanded, "She was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. They said the accident was not her fault. Someone, t-they...fuck.." he screamed the last word, unable to talk about the crash just yet, it was too much.

He had stopped pacing and was glaring at Levi, not because of anything Levi had done, merely because Levi was the only other person around.

Eren was thankful that Levi had not told him to calm down, that's what Armin and Mikasa would have done, and that would have just added fuel to the fire.

As quick as the anger came, it left just as quickly, leaving a jumbled mixture of feelings in its wake, including - shame, vulnerability, a sense of failure, self-judgment and blame, anxiety and fear. Basically, he was a mess - he had no clue whether he would be crying or shouting, he had no control over his emotions.

"If only I had been there, maybe she would not have been in her car..."

"It was sudden and unexpected." Levi finally spoke up, not willing to let Eren beat himself up over 'if only's'. "Unfortunately, guilt is a natural and common element of grief. When someone you love dies, it's only human to search for an explanation, to look at what you did or did not do, to dwell on the what if's and if only's. But, you have to understand that this was not your fault, that there was nothing you could have done."

"You're right," Eren agreed, nonetheless, it did not stop him dwelling on the 'what if's' and 'if only's', and it did not stop the tremendous amount of guilt he was currently feeling.

Eren suddenly felt the need to be alone, not leave Levi, just have a few moments to himself.

"I think I'm going to have a shower," He informed Levi, finally running out of steam.

"No shower I'm afraid, just a bath." Levi pointed out. He had booked this room at the last minute, furthermore, it was the only room available

Eren shrugged and headed for the bathroom, "Looks like I'm taking a bath," he returned, closing the bathroom door.

It was strange, although he wanted to be alone - to have space, the moment that door closed he felt isolated, lonely, he wanted to be with Levi but not be with him too.

Frustrated, for he could not determine what he wanted, Eren decided to take a bath anyway.

Levi cleared away the plates, stacking them on the room service trolley and leaving the trolley outside in the hall. He turned the sign hanging on the handle to show, 'do not disturb', and closed the door.

Levi had not packed anything for an overnight stay, he had not anticipated on staying when he offered Eren the ride here. Eren had expected to stay with his family for a while, and so had packed a holdall of things - which he had brought to the B&B with him.

With not much else to do, Levi sat back on the bed, once again leaning against the headboard, mentally running the finishing touches he needed to accomplish in order to complete his book.

The bathroom door opened and Eren stepped out in nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist, the length stopping just below his knees. Levi respectfully averted his gaze, he did not want Eren to think he was coming on to him, that was the last thing Eren probably needed.

Eren approached the bed, walking around to Levi's side, he looked down at Levi and said, "I need you to make me forget for just a moment."

Levi closed his eyes, praying for strength, "Eren," he objected opening his eyes once more to watch him, "I know you think this is what you want right now, but say I grant you your wish, what happens after? When you remember again. I don't want you to regret anything that happened between us. For you to feel guilty for indulging in your desire at such a time. I want..." he paused to compose himself, "I want whatever happens between us to be a pleasant memory, not one shrouded in guilt and regret."

He hated turning Eren away, but putting his own desire aside, Eren did not need this. He may think he wanted it right now, but he did not. Like he said he just wanted Levi to help him forget momentarily, but afterwards, the guilt would be tenfold.

Eren seemed shocked by Levi's refusal, "I thought..." he stammered, "I thought you wanted this too?" He sounded hurt like he believed he had been rejected.

Levi grasped both of Eren's hands, looking up into his face he finally admitted, "I do. I wanted this from the very first moment I laid eyes on you, but not like this, not this way."

Eren released a deep sigh, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. I just - I wanted a few moments where I was not thinking about everything."

"I know," Levi confirmed, tugging on Eren's hand briefly to make him look at him, "How about you go change and then we can...I don't know - shit, cuddle or something."

Eren grinned, "Who knew you were such a fan of cuddling!"

"No one would believe you if you were to tell them," Levi smugly announced. Levi lifted Eren's hand a kissed his knuckles to show affection, to let Eren understand that he was not rejecting him because he did not want him, he had Eren's best interests at heart.

The moment Levi's lips pressed against his knuckles, Eren's eyes fluttered shut and he inhaled sharply. There was no doubt in his mind that they both wanted something to happen between them, it was just a matter of when.

Levi dropped Eren's hands and declared roughly,"Go get changed, it's cruel to stand in front of me in nothing but a towel."

Walking over to his holdall he picked up the bag, taking it back into the bathroom with him. As he was changing into a t-shirt and thin pyjama trousers, he reflected on Levi's rejection. Well no, not rejection, it was obvious that at some point in the future Levi would be more than willing to be intimate with him. Eren's affection for Levi grew in that moment, there was undeniable sexual tension between them, but it was nice to know that it was not just on a primal sexual level since Levi took into consideration Eren's feelings and what he needed.

In his absence Levi had removed his sweater, leaving just a vest, and had removed his shoes and socks.

"You can't sleep in jeans!" Eren criticised, slowly kneeling on the bed and watching Levi with tenderness.

"I don't sleep anyway," Levi joked delivering the words with a serious tone.

"You must," Eren protested, not willing to accept Levi's statement.

"Let me rephrase that, I hardly sleep." He truthfully confessed.

"Huh," Eren breathed out in understanding, that would explain a lot.

Eren got comfortable at Levi's side, grumbling inwardly how if it was unfair for him to wear a towel in front of Levi, then it was as equally unfair that Levi was in such a revealing vest. Eren had seen Levi from afar in his workout clothes, but he had never been this close to Levi's uncovered muscles.

"Crikey, you're intimidating!" Eren blurted.

Levi arched an amused eyebrow at him, "Care to elaborate?"

Eren's eyes darted to Levi's well-defined arms, across Levi's firm chest and his upper body that had little to no body fat, "Look at you!" he was suddenly feeling rather inadequate.

"Took a lot of hard work, at first it was to become stronger, a means to deter people and a form of protection. Then it became a habit, routine to work out daily." He opened up, knowing Eren would appreciate it.

"Deter people, protection?" Eren quizzed. Talking about Levi's history not only helped him understand the man better, it also acted as a distraction from his grief.

"I lost my mum at a young age, my father was not present in my life. I lived with my uncle, roamed the streets often, fell into the wrong crowd. Got involved in some dangerous shit. Protection - being able to defend yourself and to assert dominance was vital to surviving." He pointed out.

"Is it weird that I'm a little turned on right now?" Eren laughed weakly. It was the thought of Levi being some scary gang member, or maybe it was the idea of Levi being dominating, or possibly the mental image of Levi using his strength to their advantage during sex.

Levi grunted, "You kinky bastard,"

Eren did not deny Levi's claim, he snuggled up against Levi and asked Levi more questions about his past until he drifted off to sleep.