Shh. Don't tell my other fandoms that I'm updating this before their stories. I might get in trouble, but this is my favorite one so…

Chapter 14

Millie

Azazael was never the typical father, but at least he didn't hit me when a hunt went wrong. He was the only father I ever got, and though he never said it, I knew he loved me. He had to love me, didn't he? You have to care about someone to raise them, or so I believed.

But here Azazael was standing before me and saying he never loved me. I wanted to believe it was just some tactic to get Sam to drink demon blood, but I knew it wasn't. I'd spent 22 years with Azazael of course I knew he wasn't lying. He was just another demon who only cared for himself, and I was just another idiot girl who thought I was special.

But I was special. Whether or not Azazael cared about me didn't matter. He'd given me his blood. He'd taught me how to use my powers, and now he was going to regret it. "When you get to limbo," I growled as I raised my hand to kill him telepathically. "Tell all the grunts you had me practice on that I got pretty damn good!"

Sam fell out of Azazael's grip as he turned to try an attack me. I was too strong though, too powerful. I could feel my eyes burning the mucky yellow they always did whenever I used my powers, but I didn't care. I was Millie Winchester, neither human nor demon, and I was pissed. Azazael didn't stand a chance.

As his meat suit collapsed onto the red ground where Azazael's soul was destroyed I saw Meg standing behind in horror. She'd seen what I did and she knew that I knew the truth about my childhood. If Azazael had been using me then surely Meg had been too. I tried to tell myself that demons didn't love and I should kill Meg, but my hand lowered. I just couldn't do it. She was the one who read me bedtime stories and brought me human food instead of just blood. I knew it'd regret it someday, but right now I just couldn't attack her. I doubted I even had enough juice in me to gank her after I'd killed Azazael.

Sam saw me let Meg run out the back door, but he didn't go after her. Instead he just stared at me and the crumpled demon before me. "He was just a liar," I told my brother kicking the dead body. "And I'm just an idiot."

"Sammy Millie knocked me out and ra…" Dean called pounding down the stairs. He stopped before us looking flabbergasted. I couldn't really blame him. It was one thing to kill a demon with that blade of his; I'd killed Azazael with my mind.

I stepped to hide behind Sam as the angel followed Dean into the hallway, but I knew it made no difference. He didn't see my face; he didn't see any of our faces. All he saw was our souls, and mine surely was the darkest one around. "Azazael is dead," Sam confirmed placing a protective hand on my shoulder. "Your work here is done."

I didn't know exactly what had happened between my brothers and the angels, but they sure as Hell weren't worshiping Castiel anymore. "Keep her in check or we will," the angel warned his eyes boring into me. As soon as he flew away I tried to take off out the back door, but Sam picked me up like I weighed nothing. (And to him I probably didn't.)

"Let me go!" I screamed biting his hand. Whatever had happened I didn't trust my brothers; I didn't trust anyone anymore. I just needed to be alone, to find my own way. I was in too deep to change my course. I had to find Lilith and help her break the rest of the seals so I could be Lucifer's vessel; I had no other options.

"Yeah, no way," Dean huffed swinging his arm at me. My last thought before I blacked out was how I probably deserved that, because I'd even hit Dean with a bat.

When I awoke I didn't know where I was, but I did know one thing. Either Dean had hit me a bit too hard or I was in for a lot of trouble because there wasn't one Sam and Dean, but two.

"You have got to be kidding me," I groaned rubbing my pounding head. I didn't know if the pain came from Dean's punch or withdrawal, but it hurt like Hell. (And I should know because future queen here.) "Please tell me this is a hallucination and there aren't two of you."

No one responded, but they didn't need to. I could see the subtle differences between the two Deans and the not-so-subtle changes in Sam. These other two brothers were obviously much older, maybe 10 years older. But if they were time travelers then where was future me?

"You're in an alternate universe," a voice finally explained and I was surprised to see it was Castiel. Yet he didn't seem like the angel I'd met. Actually, he didn't seem much like an angel at all. "We have someone here who can help you with your problem."

My problem. "If you mean the blood no thanks I kind of like how I am. I didn't see Sam or Dean killing Azazael but I did it no problem because of my powers." I also killed my biological father no problem with my powers, but come on he had that coming the way he treated the children he didn't lose.

"You guys go summon Gabriel," Old!Sam advised the others. "I want to talk to Millie."

My Sam and Dean looked weary, but they nodded in agreement. It was only after everyone left that I pulled my legs up to my chest and really looked at Old!Sam.

Despite his age, he looked pretty good. His hair was long, like really, really long, but he'd definitely gotten past the awkward phase my Sam was still in. Dean had aged pretty damn well too and that left me hope that if somehow I was to age (which was unlikely) I wouldn't end up a hideous rag.

Who was I kidding? Once I was Lucifer's vessel I wouldn't age; vessels never do.

"Do you understand what we're trying to do?" Old!Sam finally asked.

"If that the Mark of Cain on Dean's arm?" I countered thinking of the place Old!Dean hadn't stopped rubbing. "Is Dean a demon in this Universe?"

Sam scowled and I knew I'd hit a sore spot. So Dean wasn't a demon now, but he had been. I'd heard stories about demons being cured but I never knew it was possible. I wasn't that surprised though; all the stories are true. "Fine, give me the silent treatment. Yes I know what you're trying to do to me. You're going to summon the archangel Gabriel who will purge the demon blood from my system breaking my addiction. I will then return to my universe, capture a demon, and drink more blood completely reversing all your hard work. Sound about right?"

Sam shook his head, and my cocky smile broke. There was something about the look in his eyes that made me wonder just what made this universe different. I didn't have to wonder long though because this Sam was quite chatty. "In this place I never had a sister. I was the one who was stupid enough to get addicted to demon blood, and I was the one who freed Lucifer. I spent 1200 years in the Cage to make up for my mistakes. I don't want that to happen to you."

It wouldn't happen to me because I knew freeing Lucifer wasn't a mistake. I couldn't afford to think of it as a mistake, or my life meant absolutely nothing.

"We're not just curing you Millie; we're giving you the opportunity to change your path. Demon blood… it corrupts our minds and from what your brothers say you've never had the chance to think straight and we're giving you that chance. There is nothing I can say that will make you believe that freeing Lucifer is wrong, I know that, but I just want you to look at it logically. You killed Azazael because he was using you, so why would you trust anything he's ever told you?"

"How can I not?" I spit in his face. "I've already gotten Dean to break the first seal and it can't be stopped. Lilith is going to die, sooner rather than later, and I plan on being the one who kills her. That way at least I survive the apocalypse in some shape or form!"

Sam looked so helpless, even as he yelled at me. "It won't be you who survives! I tortured and killed because I didn't have a choice. Lucifer…he isn't like anything you can imagine. He fills you with hate and rage that never leaves! Hundreds, thousands of people have died because I let some demon in my head! Don't make the same mistakes I did Millie! Don't put Dean and me through that! You're 22 damn it, it's not too late for you to get things right!"

Did Sam know anything? I wasn't raised like him and Dean! Free will wasn't an option. "I can't have this fight with you now," he sighed standing and heading towards the door. "You won't be able to even understand until the blood is out of your system. You're too much like a demon right now; you don't know how to be human."

I could only laugh as the door slammed behind Sam. Maybe this archangel could purge the blood from my system without killing me, but he couldn't teach me what it meant to be human.