Down to you, you're pushing and pulling me down to you

But I don't know what I want, no I don't know what i want

Now when I caught myself, I had to stop myself

From saying something that I should've never thought

Now when I caught myself, I had to stop myself

From saying something that I should've never thought of you

Rose sat at the coffee shop, hidden by small wall of vines from the rest of the outside dining area. She didn't want to be spotted by Lisa, Dimitri, Adrian.. or anyone. What has she become? Finally the years of being second best and constantly fighting for something have caught up to her. She has nothing left to fight for. Her true love turned out to be nothing but a bitter ending to a train wreck of a relationship. Her sister turned out to truely be as self rightous and ignorant as she could become. And Adrian... he turned out to be the same guy all along that she has always over looked.

That's what she has become. The sort of person with no one to lean on and the only person she does have, she uses remorselessly.

With a shaky hand and an agitated breath of air she fussed through her bag looking for her packet of cigarettes. Oh, and she has also become a smoker. She never understood why cigarettes were such spirt using release for Adrian but now she gets it, it's more of a habit than anything. She'd rather be using her fingers than using her fists just as she would like to do right now to a countless number of innanimate objects.

She gave up hope, only finding her purse, a pen and an old peice of paper which had doodles of stars on it. She stopped suddenly and stared at her belongings. What did she have to stay for at Court? Lisa was the Queen much more than she was her friend was a stranger, no longer her lover. Her gaurdian position was probably already being terminated as news of her alcoholic tendancies and lack of showing up to gaurd was well known to almost all of Court. And Adrian.. Adrian is better of without her. All she had done since he walked into her life is use and abuse him, without meaning to. He'd get himself together one day, find a beautiful Moroi girl to settle down with and have a few children. He could be surrounded by people that know how to love him. ALl she could offer him was the love of an already broken heart.

Not that she loved him. Did she? God, how can she love anyone when she can barely stare herself in the mirror and face the reality of what her life has become?

Grabbing the pen and paper out of her bag she settled into a rigid sitting postion and began to write.

"Lisa, I don't know what to do.." Dimitri regarded her from his sitting position by the fire. His hands were firmly planted on his knees and his face was rigid and hard as the fire danced in his eyes.

Lisa turned from her desk, where she had been sitting siltently whilst staring at the bundle of paper work she was meant to be studying, instead she was over looking it. Her minds eye was set on the rage and sadness that has been on her best friends face and in her heart for longer than Lisa would care to admit. "Neither do I."

A knock suddenly sounded from the door, both of there eyes snapped to it alerted. It was late into the day, sunrise was getting nearer. Dimitri stood, he was as stiff as a brick as he made his way to the door, all gaurdian mode rather than the sulking man who hadn't moved from the fire for 20 minutes. "What are you doing here?" Dimitri snarled, his back tense from Lisa's veiw.

She immedietaly knew who it was, "Adrian?" she jumped from her seat quickly before quickly regaining her composure and standing straight, hands behind her back. She remembered his hurtful words from only hours before hand. Though they were true, she was stubborn. "What do you want?"

Adrian pushed past Dimitri and sauntered into the room, "We need to talk."

"I'm not leaving." Dimitri growled, his arms crossing possesively. Lisa walked forward slightly, trying to seem calm.

"Didn't ask you to, Captain," huffed Adrian as he rolled his eyes. "Look, you guys need to hear a few home truths, I'm not saying this to be hurtful or to get Rose back for gods sake. If Rose and I never speak to eachother again than I'll live with it just as long as I know she's okay. And she needs help."

"That's obvious," Dimitri growled, his eyes still narrowed at Adrian.

Lisa hushed him sternlyand DImitri complied. " That's all I've been trying to do, I've been telling her to-"

"She doesn't need to be told, or ordered!" Yelled Adrian harshly. Lisa flinched. She stared at him more closely, at his aura. She suddenly realised he was sober. Really sober. For the first time in a long time. His temper would be through the roof considering he dulls his spirt using side effects so often, theyd all be rushing back so fast.

"What does she need then?" Lisa asked more softly.

"Oh, because he's an expert on Rose.." Dimitri stated sarcastically.

"Roses are red..violets are blue!" Adrian muttered incoherently, beginign to pace back and forth and stared at his hands as if counting. Lisa frowned wanting to walk to him and try calm him down. "She is a riddle for a poet, not a soldier!" Adrian commanded as he turned to Dimitri in confusion. "Do you not understand?" he tilted his head to the side in confusion, no anger left in his aura or his face.

"Adrian, please. Calm down.." Lisa said softly, edging closer to him. Adrian glanced at her absently before noticing the scotch next to her desk that he had left there days earlier. He walked over to it and took a few big gulps. "Feel better?" Lisa asked with a soft smile.

Adrian arched his neck back and forth as if cracking it. "Mildly," his voice was low before looking up. "Rose needs... comfort."

"And you're admitting booze and your bed hasn't been doing the trick?" DImitri scoffed.

Adrian rolled his eyes, "She seems to be enjoying it," he smirked as Dimitris face turned red. "She needs to just calm down for a while. Regain herself,rather than being continuously pushed into a fight or looking after someone else. For once she just needs to be Rose, not Lisa's best friend and DImitris love or a god damn gaurdian. She's just gotta be a girl." Adrian finshed , exasperated.

The room fell silent. For the first time Dimitri looked down, looking slightly guilty rather than rude and obnoxious. "This isn't about whether Dimitri is hurting, or if Lisa's not the first to know. It's not about whether i want the girl i love back. It's about her. Don't you see that?" Adrian looked between the two,who were both oddly quiet with their heads down. Adrian watched them for a few more seconds before scoffing and begining to exit the room before turning around with one last parting, " You better start opening your eyes because if you don't, our Rose is going to have nothing left to be seen."

Let me know what you think! Please, i absolutely adore reveiws and i feel disheartened and unmotivated to continue a story without them.
Should start updating every day, to every few days.