"Chasing Echoes"

"So I talked to Weiss," Vaughn began looking up from his hamstring stretch against the park bench.

"Yeah?" Sydney asked. "How did that go?"

"It's pretty bad."

"Bad as in..." she wondered.

"Let's just say, if she's not serious about this, it's going to be really ugly and you may not see me for a few months."

"I think it'll be all right," she comforted. "She and I talked about it. She definitely likes him."

"Yeah, she likes him, but I don't think you understand Eric Weiss," Vaughn explained. "He sort of skips the 'liking' phase. Usually he just jumps straight to psychotic stalker." Sydney laughed slightly as she leaned into the nearby tree trunk. "I'm serious, Syd. He is not going to be okay if this ends badly."

"Unless he ends it badly. Did you ever think about that?" she countered.

"Please. He would never dump her."

"How do you know?"

"It's genetic. All the women in your family are irresistible to the men who want them. Even Jack got owned." Laughing again at his preposterousness, she finished her stretching and seated herself on the bench next to his extended form. Joining her on the bench, he continued. "But the truth is, I seriously doubt either one of them will listen to us, so it's sort of irrelevant. How is she? Nadia."

"She's doing okay. She's really shaken up about the prophecy stuff. I can't really blame her there. It was nice to have a break from it, ya know?" she looked to him for understanding.

"I know what you mean. There is no one I'd rather forget than Milo Rambaldi."

"But physically she's fine. She has to have a skin graft to cover the burns. Still, the other stuff really scared her. How 'bout you? How was your visit with Sark?"

"As expected," he answered growing quiet. "Nothing really much to say about him. He's Sark. The same smug son of a bitch he always was. But we should be able to get some use out of him this time around. He's being transferred tonight and they're going to stage the extraction. We should have the location of CRF headquarters by tomorrow."

"I'm sorry you had to deal with him again. It can't be easy."

"No, it's not," he answered with a half smile in her direction. "But I don't think any of us signed up for easy, did we?" She smiled admiringly.

"You're..." she began, but could not finish.

"What?" He tried to help. "A glutton for punishment? Masochist?"

"Amazing. Even though that's not quite what I wanted to say. You have this insane ability to just not care about yourself." He gave a shallow laugh.

"No, I don't. Everybody's selfish. It's all about the spin," he explained. "All you have to do is talk yourself into believing that even though what you are doing is unpleasant, it will ultimately be for your own gain. For example, I hate talking to Sark. However, if I talk to Sark and find CRF headquarters, we can not only find and destroy Anna, we also make you safer and me happier. Therefore, talking to Sark makes me happy."

"See what I mean? Amazing. I'd just be thinking about how much I hate the bastard."

"You can't help it," he smiled. "You're a woman."

"I'm sorry, what?" she replied indignantly.

"It's not an insult. It's just that, as a female, logic isn't your strong point."

"I hate to disagree with you, but I happen to be very logical," she persisted.

"Yes. For a woman, you're very logical," he assented.

"I am so mad at you right now," she informed without ire.

"And why are you mad?"

"Because I cannot think of one way to prove to you that I am a logical person. And if I were a logical person, I would be able to do that." He smiled fully, and rose to walk. She followed him, still pouting slightly.

"You will, I'm sure of it. And you'll call me in the middle of the night to tell me about it too," he predicted.

"You want me to believe you wouldn't enjoy that?"

"Probably depends on how much yelling is involved."

"I wouldn't yell at you. When have I ever yelled at you?"

"Are you kidding?" he asked with an amused smirk.

"Shut up, I'm gonna jog back," she informed. He smiled in reply, and she broke into a leisurely jog. Not to be left behind, he picked up his own pace and quickly closed the distance between them. The distance to the car was not far. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw him quickly approaching and accelerated her pace. He followed suit and soon they were sprinting. In no time at all, they were leaning against the car catching their breath.

"I thought you were gonna jog. What was that?" he asked.

"I was, but then you started chasing me."

"I wasn't chasing you, I was just trying to catch up with you."

"Experience has taught me to ask questions later."

"For the record, you don't have to run from me."

"Is this a life lesson?" she asked smiling.

"Only if you need it," he answered returning her smile without reservation.

"I think, I'm good, thanks," she assured. "Are you staying tonight?"

"Staying? With you?"

"Uh-huh."

"Do you want me to?" he asked.

"If you want to," she replied uncertainly with a tiny shrug.

"I'd love it," he affirmed.

Sydney sat in the passenger seat, waiting for Vaughn to return with some necessities from Weiss's apartment. The warm evening air was blowing through the open windows, and she toyed absently with a few strands of hair that had gone astray during their run. A faint smile tugged at her mouth. Picking up his abandoned sunglasses, she folded and unfolded them, even trying them on for size in the visor mirror. Definitely not her style.

The thought that she was serious about possibly having him move in was a little frightening given everything that they had been through so recently. Even with all the progress they had made, her logic told her it was too soon for this step. But holding his glasses in front of her, she thought about the possibility in a different light. Yes, things were difficult and complicated. No, there was no guarantee that things would work out. Yes, it would hurt if he betrayed her again. But in the face of these reasonings, she thought about everything else in her life. Nothing was simple or easy. She had no guarantees that anything would be all right ever. Not with her father, not with Nadia, not with Sloane, not with Rambaldi, and not with Vaughn. But even with these uncertainties, she knew that if he betrayed her, where he was living when he did it would be irrelevant. The pain would be the same. But it was not these rationalizations that helped her think of the possibility in a positive light.

She looked up from her thoughts to see him walking toward the car with gym bag in hand. The smile that had tempted her before, now won out against her resistance. She thought with pleasure of walking into her home and seeing his shoes next to hers by the door, his toothbrush next to hers in the bathroom, and his clothes mixed with hers in the laundry hamper. She thought of them mixing their lives so totally, being present for every mood, every emotion, every event. The thought made her happy. She wanted to share everything with him.

"You get everything?" she asked.

"For now," he answered returning her smile. He backed out and pulled onto the street. "Syd, can I have my glasses?" She looked up from where she still held his sunglasses in her hand, carefully stroking the rims.

"Sorry," she offered handing him the glasses.

"So, I've been thinking."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I've been thinking about me moving in," he began reluctantly. "I know that I was a little... I don't know, insistent about certain things." Her smile faded as she paid closer attention to his words and features. He looked uneasy. "I just, I wanted to say that, I understand your reasons for hesitating. And I'm sorry that I pressured you into doing something that you weren't ready for. In fact, I think you're right. I think we should wait."

"Wait? For what?"

"Before we move in together. I think we should wait," he explained. Her face fell as she folded her hands nervously in her lap. "Syd?" She looked up at him as he quickly tried to read her while driving. "What are you thinking?"

"So, this was the plan?" she began a little angrily. "To talk about how close you wanted us to be, and then just take it back when I started to really consider any permanence in our relationship? That's classy."

"What? Sydney, this was your idea. You were the one that said things were going too fast. You said we should take things slow, remember?" he defended.

"I think it's too late for that," she commented drily. They were silent as he parked outside of her home.

"I'm not really sure what to say here, Syd," he said while removing his glasses and giving her his full attention. "I wish I knew why I should apologize."

"You shouldn't. You should never have to apologize for the way you feel," she said coldly.

"And that's it? We're not going to talk about this?" he said unbelievingly.

"What's there to talk about?" she asked detaching herself from the situation. "You don't want to move in with me. I get it."

"I didn't say that."

"That's what it sounded like to me," she replied too quickly with a touch of hostility.

"Well, that's not what I meant," he answered forcefully, demanding her attention.

"I think we've pretty much said what we need to say here."

"Sydney," he attempted.

"No, it's fine."

"So, you want me to leave?" he asked cautiously.

"Maybe it's best," she answered.

"Okay, well, will you call me?"

"Maybe. I just need some time."

"Fine, just... I'm not really sure what this is about, but whatever it is we should talk about it." She smiled a little at this.

"Not really your style, is it?"

"Maybe it should be," he answered seriously as he met her eyes again. "What we talked about the other night... It's still true. I love you, Sydney. I mean it." Her brow furrowed and she crossed her arms instinctively.

"I know. Me too."

"Call me. Please."

"Okay, I'll talk to you later," she said as she exited the car. One glance back was what she gave him but it was enough. It was enough for her to read the genuine concern on his features. She offered him a shadow of a smile, and walked away.

Showered and changed and feeling more removed from the recent argument, she distractedly straightened the bedroom. Things had been busy the last couple of days, and she had neglected housekeeping. She pulled together some clothes and moved to toss them into the laundry hamper. Noticing too late that some of the clothes were not hers, she turned and retrieved the foreign items. Slowly she sat at the edge of her bed, and vaguely examined the items. The jeans and hockey jersey that he had left on her floor and promised to pick up sat menacingly in her hands.

She was at a loss. Her mind was vainly trying to come up with some reasoning as to why he had had this change of heart. Why had he suddenly decided that they should slow down, that he needed space? It was only a few days ago that he had talked about how impatient he was to be with her all the time. It had been a hell of a day. Everything seemed to be in upheaval. First Anna had returned, Nadia had been kidnapped, Rambaldi was back, Sark was back, and now Vaughn was having second thoughts about living together. Setting the clothing aside, she looked the other way and recalled their conversation.

All she could remember was the intense disappointment she felt as a result of being denied the one thing she had decided she wanted—the one thing that would lend some normalcy to her life. She wanted to tell him that it was time, and now he wanted to wait. But his parting words came to her in time to calm her slightly. His assurance that he loved her was the comfort she needed to pick up the phone. Then in a moment of unexpected boldness, she tucked the phone into her pocket and grabbed a sweatshirt.

"Hi," she began lamely when Vaughn opened the door.

"Hello, did you wanna come in?"

"Are you alone?" she asked looking past him.

"No, Weiss is here."

"Could you..." she insinuated asking him to come outside. He complied and they seated themselves on the top step. Dusk was closing in on them as they began to delve into the reason she had come to him.

"I don't really know what to say," she began. "But I couldn't leave things the way they were. I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry, I just, I wish I knew what I said that was so wrong."

"You didn't. You didn't say anything wrong," she responded moving her feet up one step and pulling her knees closer.

"Okay, I wish I knew what I said that you didn't like," he broadened his statement, and she put on a sad smile as he looked on her.

"Have you ever wanted something for a really long time, and then the time comes for you to get it, and something happens that forces you to wait longer? I mean something really big. Something you've been looking forward to for years." He looked away and his stare grew vacant.

"Yeah. I have."

"I think maybe, that's what happened to me today. And I know it's a little immature to, I don't know, lose my temper about not getting my way, but I just wanted you to know that if you do change your mind about wanting to live together that I'll understand. I mean, I won't understand, but it's totally your call." He looked at her determined yet readable face. Her expression reminded her of the day she had come to his classroom and told him that if he wanted to come back to the CIA, she would be fine.

"I won't change my mind," he assured. "I just think you're right. We both have a past that will make this difficult, and..." he swallowed hard, "everything that happened today was a good reminder of that."

"Sark?"

"And Anna. Rambaldi. Sark was... It wasn't fun. Hearing him talk about Lauren. It's amazing how good it felt to hit him."

"You hit him?" she smiled. "Hard?"

"Yeah," he smiled too at her reaction.

"I get that maybe there are ugly things in our lives that will make things more difficult than they need to be. And I get that you want to keep those things from me. I just want you to know that you don't have to. I was there for most of those things anyway. I know what they are. But the one thing that makes it all worth it, is being with you."

"It's not just that," he began again, and looked down at the concrete between his feet. "I realized today that I may have been a little more... assertive than is appropriate."

"Appropriate?"

"Yes. That maybe I wasn't giving you the freedom to make your decisions," he looked to her again. "I don't want to push you, Sydney. It wouldn't be right that way, and it wouldn't work."

"I see," she answered with a growing smile. "So, you think I can't handle you? You think I just can't say 'no'?"

"No, that's not what I said," he answered.

"The point is, you didn't push me. So, whenever you decide you're ready, I'd be happy to help you pack. Until then, you know where to find me," she said holding out a key.

"What's this?" he smiled.

"Well, if you climb through the window, you might end up getting shot so I thought it was a good idea."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I mean, it's pretty much guaranteed that you'll be moving in sometime, right? Don't answer that," she finished with a hand to her forehead.

"Yes," he answered taking the key and the hand that held it. He extracted the small metal token that she offered. "So we're okay?"

"Yeah, of course we are," she answered.

"Come here." She scooted closer and leaned into him. He still held the key in his free hand in front of him spinning it back and forth between his fingers.

"You like it?" she asked hopefully touching the key that had been hers moments ago.

"I love it," he answered. "So you're really sure about this?"

"I think so. But I am not picking up your clothes."

"We'll see," he challenged.

"Yeah, we will. We'll see that I'm not gonna do it."

"Okay. So, just curious," he baited, "Where are the jeans I left on the floor?"

"None of your business. You don't live there yet," she answered.

"That's what I thought. So, what if I said next week?"

"Yeah?" she smiled broadly.

"Yeah. Let's do it," he smiled back. She kissed him comfortably and sank into the security of knowing that they were of one mind about where things were going. His arm held her close, and she did not resist. She allowed her mind to rest in the fact that he wanted the same things for them that she did. And in a quiet, almost unnoticed moment, the world around them sank into darkness. Not a darkness characterized by fear and uncertainty, but a darkness that enveloped the city because it was time. It was a darkness that came naturally and gave much needed rest to many.

AN: This felt a little cheesy to me, but then maybe I just took too much time off over the holidays. I am curious about your thoughts.