Chapter Fourteen: Thorin

I wake up from another vision.

This time it was different.

This time - instead of just standing at the parapet, feeling the hands on my shoulders, as a king - I was something else, I was someone else. I was seized by a crippling fear, and I lurched forward, my body tipping over the ledge, and I fell, I fell, down into a black abyss. I kept falling as I wrestled with the hands upon my shoulders, I tried to shake them off, but eventually it was all for nothing. The hands covered my mouth and nose, stopped me breathing, consumed me - until all I was, all that was left of me was smoke, and even that faded into black.

But waking up, I am not breathless, or sweating, or feverish. An odd sense of calm is surrounding me, but I do not feel calm, deep down. In the pits of my mind and body I feel unrest, yet there is somehow tranquility forcing it's way, lulling me, until I feel...I feel numb, senseless…as if I am falling again, into the void...

"Thorin." A voice hisses, and hands shake my shoulders. I look up, and her face is there.

She looks worried, like she's anticipating something.

"What…" her voice trembles as she talks. "What...just happened?"

"I had a vision." I state, still dazed.

Gwen takes a deep breath, and it shakes on her exhale. "No, I mean - why did you just -"

"Just what?"

"You were so still, you could have been sleeping...but your eyes were open, your mouth was moving, but nothing was coming out - like you were saying something, but there was no noise -" Gwen's voice is higher, even more panicked. "I didn't know what to do, I -"

"Wait," I say, sitting up. "I was talking?"

She shakes her head. "I don't know - your lips were moving -"

I frown. "I wasn't talking - at least, I don't remember -"

"You don't remember?" Her eyes are scared, now, and wide. It's like I can see into her mind, and she's terrified, terrified for me, and the others.

She knows something. She knows something is up, something is wrong, very wrong.

"Listen to me." Her voice is low, and quiet. "We have to get you out of here. You and your dwarves, you have to leave, right now.

I didn't know it was that bad. Before, I had assumed that we had a couple of days, but now she's making it seem like we don't have any time at all.

"Whoever it is that is taking over your visions, Thorin, just tried to take control of your head and your body, and they did - you said you didn't know you were talking, they made you talk -"

"That doesn't make any sense."

"It will." She says. "It will if you stay here any longer because they will come, now that they know where you are, and harm you. That's why you need to get far away from here."

I stare at her.

A million thoughts whipping through my mind.

You have to leave.

She leaves the room to find Gandalf and round up the dwarves, but the second she closes the door I get up, blankets twisting around me, and I feel my limbs come to life again. I can do this. I can. I shove my clothes and my boots on, and sling my sword onto my belt, getting ready for the journey ahead.

I go to the door, and listen for their hushed tones, but I don't hear any. Maybe he's gone. Maybe he left -

The door bursts open, nearly knocking me off my feet, and I'm suddenly face to face with Gandalf.

"Good." He mutters. "You're ready."

I swallow, straightening. "Where do you propose we go?"

He looks at the ground, and then back at me. Something tells me I won't like what he has to say.

"Somewhere I wanted to avoid, but now it is our only option." Gandalf leans in, and his voice is low as he whispers to me.

"Mirkwood."

The two syllables I didn't want to hear but somehow I knew, I was dreading it.

I shake my head. "Surely, there must be another way, Gandalf. We cannot resort to this - that forest is dangerous, it will put the safety of my dwarves in jeopardy, the quest -"

"Your safety, Thorin Oakenshield, is out of window at this very moment!" He snaps. "And your quest - well, I must say I had not planned for you to take this route, but, coincidentally, the path through Mirkwood will take you just south of Esgaroth on the Lake. It is quite a handy shortcut, and it would be more in use if it weren't for the fact that…"

"The place is cursed." I finish for him, following him out into the main room. The fire there lies cold in the grate, and everything would be deserted if it weren't for the clamoring of the dwarves outside. "I don't care how much of a shortcut it is, I won't allow -"

Gandalf whirls to me, eyes flashing. "It doesn't matter if you won't allow it. The forest being cursed will be a blessing, as it will hide you from your tormentor."

"What?" I can barely believe my ears.

"Mirkwood can protect you from being found, because of all the noise of curses it contains, and no one ventures into that place anyway -"

"For good reason." I mutter, and Gandalf glares at me.

"- so it may hide you. There are possibilities that it will do the opposite…"

"What?!" I explode.

"But you do not have a lot of other options, as everywhere else will be sure to expose you."

I begin to protest, but then I stumble outside into the daylight, and see Dwalin turn to me, the dwarves behind him, looking worried and Bilbo gulping like a fish.

And the one person who shouldn't be on my mind at that very moment is there, suddenly, and I hate myself for it.

"Where is Gwen?" I ask him, voice quiet.

"She has gone to scout the borders of the forest for any sign of danger. We will proceed when she returns."

"And if she doesn't?" I press, before I can stop myself. Gandalf says nothing, his mind already elsewhere. Out the corner of my eye I can see Dwalin looking at me suspiciously, so I angle my head towards the sun, making sure he doesn't see the self doubt on my face.

Then, she returns.

Striding up the hill, dark hair twisting around her in the wind, contrasting to her pale face. But what surprises me most is that I take the steps out to meet her first, to stand in front of her and ask her about the danger.

"None." She says, not meeting my eyes. "But you should leave, quickly. I have a feeling that you will be in more peril if you do not."

Her voice expresses a certain sadness, and worry, although I do not know what it is for. I feel as if I know everything and nothing about her.

"I-"

Gandalf approaches, grey robes billowing around him, as the wind picks up speed. He looks at Gwen, deeply, as if imparting secret information to her. Their exchanges, I will never understand.

They embrace, and she nods to him after drawing away. Turning to me, he frowns.

"I will set out on my horse. Be quick to join me, as the wind is blowing the wrong way, and the more time you spend here the more danger you will find yourself in."

Without a single word more he mounts his grey - white horse, and sets off in a slow trot.

My eyes settle on her face, her eyes, seeing them follow his outline as he goes. The wistfulness of her hits me again, and I want to ask her what is wrong, but I know I must go. There is nothing else left to do.

"Thank you for your hospitality." I say, my voice deeper than I mean for it to come out. "I am indebted to you."

Gwen's eyes lock onto mine, and she seems unsure. An expression that I never see on her face, like she never has any reason to be uncertain. Then again, how could I presume to know her?

"I hope that you find sanctuary." She says, softly. "Whether that be as a king or as a traveller."

Suddenly I realise that all the dwarves are gone, and it is just us, and the wind around us. It feels like we're the only two in the world, and there is so much to say, so much to do, but time stands still for a while as we look at each other, as if it doesn't matter, as if time does not exist.

But it does. And it's pressing into my neck like a sharp sword.

"I must be on my way." I say, but I make no move to go.

"That you must." Gwen replies, but her eyes are on my lips, and then mine are too, and I can't think. I can't breathe. All I can hear is the wind and my beating heart as we inch closer to each other, closer than we have ever been -

A harsh rattling sound comes from within her cabin, as the wind shakes the fragile windows. She blushes, then looks down, and we move apart, the moment lost.

"Will you be alright?" I ask, my voice cracking ever so slightly. "Will you be safe?"

A small smile graces her mouth. "I'll try."

And then I know that that is the only answer she can give me, because who knows? Who knows what path Mahal has hewn for both of us?

"Goodbye, Thorin." She says, turning back to head towards her home.

"Goodbye." I hear myself say, but it seems like more of an echo. Time is ticking. Time is real, and I must move on.

I take my first step out towards the unknown in days, but I am ready.

Only because she made you to be, a voice whispers.

So I allow myself one last glance at her, and at that moment, she turns back, too, and her eyes sparkle in the feeble ray of sunshine that filters through the clouds. Her eyes, forest green.

"Goodbye, Gwendolyn." I murmur, knowing she won't hear me, and she has already turned away, and I watch her as she disappears into her cabin, before I finally turn my back and go.

A/N

Yes, I know, the goodbye may have been a bit cliché and cheesy but it felt good to write, because it means the story is moving on.Hopefully you have enjoyed this chapter. The next few will be a bit more suspenseful, so consider the last part of this chapter as the calm before the storm. Stay tuned for more coming soon. :)