July 9, 1915

I glance at my watch: 6:30 AM. Today is Emily's tenth birthday, and everyone's been up half the night trying to get everything ready on time. Annelise is replacing all the flowers in the vases while Gardner and Crawford try to hang a large banner that reads "Happy Birthday, Emily!" Polly fumbles in, her arms full of boxes.

"Just set the presents anywhere," I instruct her absentmindedly. I don't even look up; I'm too busy trying to tie a pink ribbon around the neck of a spaniel puppy I bought from my foreman. It squirms, making the bow come undone.

"Hold still!" My words have absolutely no effect. The obnoxious creature just jumps up, licking my face. "Get down!" It looks up at me with its big bug eyes as I pry it off me. I raise a hand to hit it but then I remember it's supposed to be Emily's birthday present; I can't hurt it…no matter how annoying it is.

"Sir?" Gardner's voice is drowned out by the dog barking. "You're doing it wrong!" he says a little louder.

"I suppose I'm just not good with animals." He picks up the beast and I sigh. That was always one of my father's strictest rules: no pets.

Annelise giggles and I stare at her. "You used to think you weren't good with children, too," she says, "and look how Emily loves you." Her arms wrap around my neck as she kisses my cheek. "So do I."

"Father?" Emily suddenly appears in the doorway, her nightdress dragging the floor, Rose tucked under her arm. "What was that strange n-"

"Happy birthday, Emily!" everyone calls in unison, interrupting her. Her eyes dart from the flowers to the banner to the stack of wrapped packages. "All this is for me?" I nod, and it occurs to me that she's probably never celebrated her birthday before.

The little dog suddenly bounds out of Gardner's arms and runs to Emily. She giggles as it paws at her gown. "She's funny! I like her." She hugs its neck. "I'll call her Dorothy."

I pat the settee beside me; Emily sits down and the dog crawls into her lap as I hand her the nearest present. "That one's from Mr. Gardner."

She tears off the paper eagerly, revealing a kite. She stares speechless at Gardner; he smiles. "If you like, I'll teach you to fly it later."

Emily nods. "Thank you, Mr. Gardner."

Soon the floor is littered with wrapping paper as Emily's gifts pile up…pretty dresses, books with gilded pages, a German figurine from Annelise…there are only two packages left now. I hand Emily the bigger one; she lifts the lid and her expression changes at the sight of the doll…red-blonde haired, hazel-eyed just like her…lying in the box. "Now you can get rid of that other one…"

Emily's eyes cloud as she looks at me. "You-you want me to throw Rose away?"

I nod, lightly touching the doll's tangle of red hair. "Look at her! She's broken and dirty and-"

"But she's the first doll I ever had!" Emily protests, hugging it tighter to her. "And you gave her to me…" Her lip trembles as tears well in her eyes.

"But now I'm giving you this one!" Anger rises in my voice…I never knew Emily could be that ungrateful! I don't understand…the doll in the box is so much finer than the one in her arms. So why doesn't she want it?

"Cal, let it go!" I hear Annelise whisper in my ear; I turn and stare at her. "Emily loves you, and I'm sure she appreciates the gift. It's just…" She sighs and her voice drops. "Nothing you ever give her will mean as much as Rose does to her; nothing could have the same memory that doll brings…" A faraway look crosses her eye. "I guess there's just something special about that first one…" She instinctively fingers the blue pearls around her neck, the only jewelry she ever wears, and I understand.

I hear Emily quietly sobbing as I try to hold her; she stiffens but doesn't pull away. "I'm so sorry, Emily…" She won't look at me; just hugs Rose even tighter. My mind flashes back through all the horrible birthdays I had as a child, days ruined by my father, and a sudden pang of remorse wrings my heart as I realize I've just done the same thing to Emily. "I never knew Rose meant that much to you…"

Her sobs die, but her eyes are still sad. "So you won't make me get rid of her?" she sniffles.

I brush a few stray tears from her face. "No."

"You promise?" I nod my throat too tight to speak. "Thank you, Father," she whispers as her arms close around me. I kiss her hair, though I still feel so guilty for hurting her.

The dog yaps suddenly, jerking me from my thoughts. I force a smile as I hand Emily a small blue package. Its twin is tucked safely in my coat pocket for later...that one is not a gift for Emily. "You still have one more present to open. This one I know you'll like."

She opens the box, revealing a silver heart-shaped locket. "It's so pretty!" she gasps. Her eyes meet mine as I help her with the clasp. "Can I put your picture inside?"

"Of course." My voice is unexpectedly choked as I reply. "You can put anything you like in it."

"I love you, Father," she says…four little words that never fail to soften my heart. She kisses my cheek before following her new pet out of the room, and I stare after her as she goes.

I surprise her again later with a picnic in the park. Emily runs ahead, her puppy bounding along at her side. Gardner takes off after her, leaving me alone with Annelise. She nearly loses her hold on the heavy picnic basket she's carrying, and I take it from her. "Here." She holds onto my free arm, and we stand motionless on the path for a few moments, staring into each other's eyes. I smile. "We'd better catch up with Emily and Gardner."

"Make a wish, Emily!" Annelise pulls the large decorated birthday cake from the picnic basket. I reach into my pocket for my lighter, but Gardner finds his first. "Allow me, sir," he offers.

Emily blows out all ten candles with one puff. "What did you wish for?" Annelise asks her.

"Don't answer that, Miss Emily!" Gardner warns before she has time to reply. "If you tell anyone it'll never come true!"

My eyes dart, and I catch Emily trying to feed her cake to Dorothy. "Emily!" I shoot her a reprimanding look; her eyes widen and my tone changes. "That can't possibly be good for her."

"Mr. Gardner, will you teach me how to fly the kite now?" Emily asks him as he clears the dishes.

He nods as he rises. "Sure…anything you like."

She starts to follow him but suddenly turns back. "This is for you, Father." She plucks a daisy growing nearby and hands it to me.

I laugh. "It's your birthday; you're not supposed to be giving me anything!" She kisses my cheek and I stare after her as she runs to catch up with Gardner.

I turn, and Annelise is gaping at me. Why? Did I do something wrong? "I'm sorry," she says, dropping her gaze. "It's just…I don't think I've ever heard you laugh like that before."

My God! She's right. She hasn't heard me laugh because she's never seen me happy…because I haven't been, not for a long time. I try to recall the last time I was truly happy, but I can't. No wonder she's so shocked!

"My Annelise…" I feel her head resting against my shoulder as I pull her close. "I've adopted Emily now, but she's going to need a mother and…" I pull the blue box from my coat pocket…different diamond, different girl but somehow this part never gets any easier. "Miss Annelise Burkhalter, will you marry me?"

I wait for her to burst into tears or throw her arms around me or nod her approval but she just studies my eyes for a long time. Wham! She suddenly slams the box shut. I don't believe it…she's actually turning me down! I try to turn away to hide the hurt in my eyes but she gently cups my face in her hands.

"Caledon Hockley, you silly man!" She looks at me, her eyes filled with adoration. "I love you, not your money, not this silly jewel…you."

"So you'll marry me, then?" I swallow hard as I feel my throat tightening.

"Does this answer your question?" She suddenly grabs me by my tie and pulls me down to her, kissing me with a wild passion unlike anything I've ever seen in her. Her sleeve droops slightly and I gently guide it farther down, revealing the white strap of her corset.

"Nein!" she exclaims, gently swatting my hand. The gesture startles me enough to make me let go, and I stare blankly at her. I don't understand…she insists she loves me, yet she still pushes me away! Her eyes darken and her voice drops. "For God's sake, Cal! There are other people around!"

My eyes dart, and there is a couple eying me with disdain from the nearby stone path. I stare at the sky as I lie back on the blanket, but I can't get that look in her eyes out of my mind…hurt, shame, worry…almost as if she were afraid of me. "I'm sorry." Her voice jerks me from my thoughts as she kisses my hand where she once batted at it. I take her hand in both of my own, and she finally allows me to slip the ring on her finger.

A raindrop splashes onto my face. Please, God…not here, not now! I sit up straight; so does Annelise. I try to block out the bad memories threatening as she removes a blade of grass from my hair. "Why so sad, mein libeling?" she whispers as her arms close around me. I don't look back at her…just keep staring at the darkening sky.

"Dorothy, come back!" Emily's voice rises, preventing me from having to answer. The dog approaches first, jumping into my lap. "Dorothy, no!"

"I believe this-" I pick up the annoying animal and hand it back to her. "…is yours."

"Leave Father alone!" she scolds it. "He-"

"There you are, Miss Emily!" Gardner appears behind her panting and breathless, kite in tow. "You shouldn't -" He stops suddenly. Emily looks up at him, waiting for him to finish; she notices the diamond ring glinting on Annelise's finger and gasps.

"Emily…" She just stares at me for several moments. Is she going to be angry? Or jealous? I never gave much thought to how she might react.

"I told you you should marry her." Emily smiles as she hugs me.

So does Gardner. "It's about damn time, sir!" I hear his voice in my ear.

A flash of lightning rips apart the sky, striking dangerously close to the tree where I'm standing and a deafening roar of thunder follows. The car is on the other side of the park; there's no way we'll get out of here in time. "We're leaving!" I'm surprised by how panic-stricken my voice sounds. They're all staring at me, and I quickly drop my gaze to hide the fear in my eyes. It suddenly begins to pour and I grab Emily's hand, though I can still feel my own shaking. "Now!"

Memories of Titanic haunt me as the driving rain beats against the car windows, each drop a reprimand for the way I acted that night. The "what ifs" rise in my mind: What if I hadn't planted that diamond on Dawson? What if I hadn't shot at them? What if I hadn't left the ship without Rose? Maybe then she'd still be alive…

I'm vaguely aware of Annelise holding me, but I try to ignore her, hoping she won't see the misery in my eyes or feel my heart pounding. Her hand is so cold as she touches my cheek; I shiver but then remember how cold she must be. I drape my coat around her shoulders and force myself to look at her…her dress soaked and clinging to her, her white-blonde hair flattened and turned darker by the rain…I'm strangely reminded of the last time I saw Rose except… The way Annelise's eyes shine with love and sympathy only for me, the way Rose's never did.

I brush a lock of hair away from her face. The drops beneath my hand are suddenly warm, and I know she must be crying for me. I wish I could say something to comfort her, but I don't trust myself to speak. I hold her tighter and her cheek burns against my rain-drenched shirt as more tears fall.

I feel a sudden gentle nudge as the dog burrows under my arm, looking up at me with pleading eyes; I give its head a little pat and suddenly remember Emily at my other side. I try to smile but can't as I turn to her. I meet those big hazel eyes staring back at me, and to my own surprise, the bad memories die. "So, Emily, did you get everything you wished for?"

She shakes her head "no". I don't understand…what can I give her that I haven't already? "All I really wanted was for you to be happy…" Her eyes drop and so does her voice as she continues, "But you still seem so sad."

Her words bring tears to my eyes, but I'm already so wet, I don't think she notices. "Emily…" She snuggles into my chest as my free arm wraps around her. "You make me happy…" My eyes shift back to Annelise. "Both of you."