Finnick's POV 7
If I thought leaving her for the Games was bad enough, it's pure hell to be trapped in District 13 while Annie is trapped in the Capitol, and who knows what they're doing to her there? I sit in a room with Katniss and together we concentrate on the rope we have. We don't talk. I think she prefers it that way. She's never been a people person. They sent out a rescue team to go to the Capitol to bring back Peeta, Annie, Johanna, and Effie Trinket of all people. In just a few hours I'll either have my sweet Annie in my arms again or she'll be as good as dead.
I'm not sure how much time has passed before Katniss breaks the silence.
"Do you think they're all right?" she asks. She misses and needs Peeta as much as I miss and need Annie. Both of us have been sedated a time or two because the need for our companions have driven us to our breaking points.
"I don't know. I hope they are. I hope they'll be here soon." I'm frustrated because the knot that I tied isn't coming undone as easily as it should. We settle back into silence. There's no need to fill the emptiness with words anyways. I don't know what to say to her.
Another forever passes but this time the silence is broken by Haymitch. He opens the door to tell us that they're back. They're back! The words are still trying to sink their way into my brain when Katniss tugs on my hand and begins to lead me after Haymitch. I'm going to see my Annie again in a matter of minutes now. I'm not sure what to think. Of course I'm happy and excited, but how will she look? What has the Capitol done to her? How many new scars will she have? All these questions are running through my head as we get closer and closer and finally enter the hospital ward.
Katniss sees Gale and tries to go in after him but is pushed back by several nurses. Her priority is getting to Peeta. Suddenly I hear my name. My name has escaped the lips of a voice I would know dead or alive, and I haven't quite figured out which one I am right now. All of my thoughts disappear and my head is empty until my arms have found their way around her waist and we fall into the wall clinging to one another. It's been three long painful months and finally I have her. My Annie. For once, I'm speechless and after the silence I shared with Katniss, I still don't have anything to say. Nothing except maybe I love her, but the words just don't make their way to my mouth. Instead I hold her closer, tighter, like something as simple as the air between our bodies might take her away from me again.
After a while one of the doctors taps my shoulder. He motions us into a room I'm very familiar with. It's the room that I'm usually admitted to.
"I was just in here!" I complain. I don't like this room. It's very boring. I sigh and run one hand through my hair and my other arm wraps around Annie as she wraps her arms around my waist again.
"It's alright Annie, I'm here. I'm not leaving you again," I tell her as I put my other arm around her.
"Why were you in here?" she asks. She caught that didn't she?
"Oh," of course she would want to know that. I wonder if she was told how much I've missed her. "I missed you," I tell her. It's both the answer to her question as well as how I feel right now.
"I missed you too, but that doesn't answer my question," she looks up at me with a confused look upon her face. I shake my head.
"That is the answer. I was in here because I missed you. I missed you so much I went crazy trying to stay strong, trying to help Katniss stay strong for her loss of Peeta. They finally had to sedate me. I'm okay now Annie. I have you, nothing else matters," she glares at me when I mention that they had to sedate me. I pull her away from me enough so that I can rest my forehead against hers.
"I love you," I tell her. I rub my hands up and down her arms. "Are you alright?" I ask. I'm worried about her.
"I love you too," she says, "I guess I'm all right, just scratched and bruised is all."
"Annie, this is not just a scratch," I run my finger along a gash on her cheek. "It's a gash, they hurt you. I'm so sorry Annie. I should have done something different. I should have made sure you were safe," I told myself I could stay strong in her presence. I told myself I wouldn't cry in front of her. I pull her closer to me.
"It's from today. Of course they hurt me! They don't just lock their prisoners up and watch them all day long! They needed you to think that they were hurting me, and even more than that they knew you'd see me again. They needed you to see that they hurt me. I'm all right now though," both of us are crying now. She tries to mock me but through her tears I hear nothing but the truth, "I have you, nothing else matters," I pull her into my arms and sit down on the bed as we cry together.
~HG~HG~HG~
President Coin assigned Annie her own compartment. I tried to protest. "Please let her stay with me. It would be better for the both of us. She can have my room and I'll take the couch if you're worried that we'd do anything. Please!" I beg her. I don't want to be separated from Annie for any amount of time. It's for the sake of our sanity.
"No, she'll be assigned her own compartment in the same hall as you," she won't change her answer no matter how hard I try to convince her otherwise. It eventually doesn't matter because we spent nights together in my compartment anyways. I let her have my bed to sleep in, and while she tries to convince me to sleep in the bed with her, I refuse unless she wakes screaming from a nightmare. Only then will I crawl into the bed and pull her into my arms. It's was more for her benefit than mine.
~HG~HG~HG~
When Coin finally makes me stick to a set schedule like every other person in District 13, it leaves me far from Annie. I know she's having trouble getting used to being underground still so I take her to special defense in the mornings and leave her with Beetee. She likes the meadow that's down there. When I come to get her for dinner she's sitting in the grass watching the scenery and the animals around her.
Today is just like every other day. Except today, I'm going to District 4. There are some pictures that I want to get from my house and I figure Annie would appreciate the teddy bear I got her as well as pictures of her own family. I also partly want to check up on her parents. They're not here in 13 and Annie hasn't mentioned them. I take Annie down to special defense like every morning, leaving her with a kiss and then I head to meet Katniss's prep team. They're the only prep team here in District 13 that I trust oddly enough, since they're Capitol women. I don't think Annie would like the idea of them touching me in any way.
They've entirely transformed me into someone even I don't know. I'm given a black wig that comes down to the base of my neck, clothes that a normal District person would wear instead of the no shirt and shorts that I prefer, and a pair of sunglasses to hide my eyes. I'm also not allowed to smile at anyone for any reason. My smile is known all across Panem.
The ride to District 4 takes an hour and a half. They're cautious when they let me off the hovercraft and someone follows me from a distant to serve as back up should I need it. The last thing I need is to be captured and taken to the Capitol myself. Annie would never forgive me.
My house, her house, and even Mags' house are still intact. No life teems from any of the houses here. Luckily, there are no Peacekeepers around. I start with my house. I go around from room to room collecting pictures and photo albums. I leave my room for last because I know I miss it and I know I'm going to want to bring half of it back with me. I'm limited to one big trash bag for my house and one for Annie's. Annie and I plan to come back after the war, if we live through it anyways. Maybe then I'll get to marry her.
The idea never really struck me until now. What if I could marry her in 13? I wonder if I could find wedding bands of my parents, or even her parents. She would love that. I look around in my parents' room. I think mom was buried wearing her ring, but dad took his off when he got sick because he didn't want to lose it. It takes me twenty minutes to rummage through the drawers to find it. This I stick in my pocket.
When I come out I find that Gale is the one who trailed me through the District.
"There you are! What took you so long?" he asks.
"I was looking for something. I still have to sweep through Annie's house. Who are you taking this back to? I don't want anything to happen to it." The bag contains several of my parents' keepsakes that had been passed from generation to generation, pictures and photo albums of friends and family, and other things from my childhood and teenage years that are things that I cherish and didn't realize I missed until I saw them. Also, there are several big boxes of sugar cubes. I keep one on my person. Annie is probably going to want to kill me when I return to 13 tonight.
"I'm taking it back to Boggs to load up," Gale says as I hand him the bag. "I'll be careful with it. Try not to take so long in Annie's house all right? I don't want to look suspicious just standing around in the middle of this place alone," he says. I nod my head. I'll try.
As I enter Annie's house I immediately smell that something is wrong. Something is off and I can't put my finger on it. While my room was the last room I visited in my house, Annie's room is the first room I visit in her house. I know that's where her most prized possessions are. Her door is standing open and there's a smell that doesn't smell familiar to me. I walk into her room and find it's a mess. Her mother is lying crumpled on the ground with her neck twisted much too far to the left. The lampstand is thrown on the floor and the shattered bulb has dried blood on it. Mrs. Cresta must have been trying to protect Annie as the Peacekeepers came to take her away. It breaks my heart to think of what Annie's been through.
I decide that I will give Mrs. Cresta a proper burial. I carry the body downstairs and tell Gale that I want to bury her. He helps me find a good place and starts to dig the hole when I notice she's wearing her wedding bands. I slowly slip them off her finger and open my dad's box and place them inside. I think that our parents would have wanted that for us. I'll have my dad's band and she'll have her mother's bands.
"Any sign of her dad?" Gale asks when we're done and we're headed back to Annie's house for me to finish gathering Annie's things.
"No, but I'm sure he's either hiding somewhere or he's not alive anymore." I tell him. "I'll try not to take too long," I say as I enter her house again. I continue up to her room where I start bagging the things that she kept in and around her bed. I don't want the teddy bear to be on the bottom, so I'll carry him around and put him in last. I shift through some of her drawers because I know she keeps stuff hidden in them and I find her box of sugar cubes as well as notes I've written to her over the years and more pictures.
I gather a few things from a few other places in the house but I'm unsure of what she might like to have in 13 with her. Her bag isn't nearly as full as mine. As we travel back to District 13, I hang onto the bear and my box of sugar. Every now and then I brush my hand against my pocket to make sure the box of rings is still there. It is.
"What's with the bear Soldier?" someone asks when they see it.
"It's Annie's. I bought it for her after her Games. She's kept it ever since. I thought she might like to have it in 13 with her," I tell them. I then proceed to munch on a sugar cube.
~HG~HG~HG~
It's been a long day and I'm exhausted and hungry as I head down to special defense to gather Annie for dinner. I've dropped off the bags in my compartment and I've stowed the rings away in a sock at the bottom of my drawer. I bring a smaller bag with me that contains Annie's bear and some sugar cubes. Today is like every other day for her because I'm back to pick her up in time for dinner. I wonder what she knows, what she was told, if she was told anything at all.
I brace myself as I walk over to where she usually sits watching the animals run around. I made her a crown of flowers from flowers that I picked just before leaving District 4 and I place it on her head as I sit down beside her. I see the smile that tells me she knows I've been reunited with my sugar so I go ahead and hold the box out to her.
"Want one?" I ask attempting to use my charm to seduce her. I know she's the only one who laughs at me instead of falls for me when I do that. She takes a cube and puts it in her mouth. She's missed the taste of them too. I almost want to ask her if I've still tasted like them when we kiss, but I figure I can ask later.
"Where were you today?" she leans against my shoulder, "they told me you left 13." I wince as she says this but I calmly answer her.
"I did. I couldn't stand that while you're the only thing from 4 that I love with all my heart, there were still a few things that I've missed. These for one," I shake the box at her and smile. I feel her anger flare up in her. She's going to want to hurt me.
"You went to District 4? Are you insane?" she asks angrily as she turns to face me.
"Maybe I am," I joke.
"It's not funny Finnick. You could have been killed," I've upset her. I hate seeing her upset and it's even worse when I know I've caused it. I place my hand on her knee.
"I know. I was careful though. I didn't go back looking like this. They dressed me in real clothes and gave me a wig and sunglasses to wear so people didn't know me. I just wanted to get a few things from my house and yours," I remember her mother and sadness fills my emotions, "did you know that your parents – " she puts her hand over my mouth to stop the rest of my sentence. Almost instantly she's crying. Her eyes are closed and her hands go to her ears. I've screwed up majorly this time.
"I watched her die," she manages to say. I pull her into my lap and wrap my arms tightly around her as I rock back and forth.
"I'm sorry Annie, I didn't know," I kiss the top of her head and try to comfort her. I feel like a jerk. First I upset her and then I made her cry. Now all I can do is hold her while she cries and hope that she'll forgive me.
Eventually she stops crying and I take this moment to see if the teddy bear might cheer her up. I had other plans for how I wanted tonight to turn out, but I guess I'll have to wait a little longer.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know," I tell her again, "I brought you some things for your compartment," I rub her back gently and reach around and pull the bag I brought around to my left side so that she can see me pull it out of the bag. I pull the bear out. She starts to cry again but her hands have left her ears so I think that these aren't tears of anguish or sorrow, but tears of happiness. She reaches for the bear and the instant her fingers wrap around it. She pulls it tightly against her. I close the bag and wrap my arms around her again.
She's closed her eyes and we're sitting her together in silence. The tears have stopped again and I hope they don't come back. I kiss the top of her head a time or two and whisper and remind her that I love her. I'm sure she's fallen asleep in the warmth and comfort of my arms.
"We're going down for dinner now Annie, oh, Finnick, you're back!" Beetee enters the room. "Is she all right?" I'm sure her face shows that she's been crying and he probably can tell from the way I'm holding her that she was upset about something. I move my head to look at her face better. Sure enough there are dried tear streaks down her face but her eyes are closed.
"She's all right. I upset her a bit. Here, will you take this?" I move to hand him the bag, "I think I'm going to take her back to her compartment unless she wakes up before we get there." Carefully, I readjust Annie in my arms and stand up. From the way she moves I know that she's not asleep. If she was, I've just woken her. She wraps her hand around the teddy bear tighter too. I don't think Beetee noticed this, but I know I did. I take the bag back from Beetee and the three of us leave special defense together. We turn toward the compartments as Beetee heads over to the café for dinner. I unlock my compartment and drop the bag on the couch before heading to my room.
"I know you're awake," I say to Annie. She opens one eye to look at me. I could kiss her because she's so beautiful. She wraps her top arm around my neck trying to pull herself closer. I chuckle and set her down on the bed. I climb in beside her.
"Are you hungry?" I ask. I know I am, but I don't know if she's eaten today or not. I hope Beetee made her have lunch. She curls into my arms like she can't stand being even a foot away from me.
"I love you," she says. I smile and roll her onto her back. I position myself above her enough that I'm not quite touching her. She puts her hands on my waist and then rethinks and moves them to wrap around my neck.
"I love you so much," I tell her, "that's part of the reason I went back to District 4 today you know. I wanted to bring you back some things that I thought you might like to have. Like the teddy bear for example." It rolled out from between us when we moved. Her eyes lock in mine and I see my own love for her being reflected back to me in her eyes. If only I thought she was ready for the next step in our relationship. If only my stomach wasn't growling too. I roll us over onto our sides again and pull her to me so that I can kiss her. I missed her today.
"Are you hungry?" I ask again. She never answered me the first time.
"I wish we could bring something here," she responds. I smile. She is hungry but I don't think she wants to leave my arms.
"I know, but they're picky about things like that," I tell her. I don't want to let her go either, but I sit up and reach to pull her up too. "Come on, they don't keep the café open all night,"