Chapter XIV: A New Brand
--x--
ECW was live from Los Angelus California on Sci-Fi. ECW General Manager Armando Estrada walked into his office and was surprised to see his stuff being removed. "Uh, excuse me, guys, what do you think you're doing?" demanded Estrada. "Who told you to do this?"
"Just doing what the General Manager told us to do," answered a man with short hair and a black ECW t-shirt on.
"I am the General Mana…" Estrada started to say but was cut off.
"Wait… we are?" a guy wearing a baseball cap with a brown ponytail sticking out the back of it. "I thought we were just stealing his stuff…" He glanced down at the box of Cuban Cigars he had… found.
"We were told by the General Manager to remove the stuff from this office…" said the guy with short hair. "Wait… you don't work for me…"
"I don't care about that!" snapped Estrada. "I AM THE GENERAL MANAGER!" Estrada yanked the picture the guy with short hair was holding away from him. "My stuff!" But then Estrada saw someone off screen and took off his shades so he could stare in surprise.
The fans popped loudly as TEDDY LONG WALKED ON SCREEN! "Not any more playa!" commented Long while Estrada stared in surprise.
"Well this is awkward…" commented the guy with the baseball cap and the box of Cuban cigars.
"And what exactly are you doin' here dog?" asked Long.
The guy with the hat smirked then pulled the hat off and shook out his long brown hair IT WAS MACHETTI! The fans in the arena popped even louder as Machetti opened the box of cigars. "Well I was walking backstage and I saw some guys coming out of the General Manager's office carrying some stuff. Cigar?" Machetti held out a cigar to Long while Estrada looked offended.
"THOSE ARE MINE!" snapped Estrada, but Machetti ignored him.
"I don't smoke dog," Long finally answered as he turned down the cigar.
"Alright," replied Machetti. "If you don't want them I'm sure I could sell them outside." Machetti turned to Estrada and acted as if he had just noticed him standing there. "You look like you would enjoy a nice box of Cuban cigars… how about seventy-five bucks?"
"YOU WANT ME TO PAY YOU FOR MY CIGARS!!" demanded Estrada.
"Not with that attitude I don't," commented Machetti. "Go sit down on that chair and take a time out. Then maybe I'll consider selling you the cigars."
"BUT THEY'RE…" Estrada started to say.
"Sit," commanded Machetti as he pointed to a chair. Grumbling the entire time Estrada went over to a chair and sat down on time out.
Long stared at Estrada with a raised eyebrow then turned to Machetti. "Seriously dog, what're you doing here?" asked Long. "I know for a fact you can't wrestle on ECW."
"I hate to contradict you on your first night on the job… but actually… I CAN wrestle on ECW," said Machetti.
"No you can't, you're contract forbids you from competing on this brand!" said Estrada.
"You're still on time out," said Machetti. "Just sit there and be quiet." Estrada glared at Machetti as he turned back to Long.
"He does have a point," admitted Long. "You had to give up your Intercontinental Championship on Sunday because of that stipulation in your contract that forbids you from competing here."
"The same contract that got shredded when I left the Raw arena last night?" inquired Machetti.
"Oh," said Long.
"You see," explained Machetti. "I'm the World Heavyweight Champion on Smackdown now, which means I have a new contract. And due to the talent exchange going on between Smackdown and ECW I can wrestle here as the World Heavyweight Champion. If I can't then I suggest you find Miz and Morrison and tell them to drop their tag team titles since they're ECW superstars and the WWE Tag Team Championships are property of the Smackdown Brand."
"Alright, you've made your point," conceded Long. "So why are you here then?"
"I've come to request an Extreme Rules match for old time's sake," answered Machetti. "I'm a former ECW World Champion, and I'm happy to be able to wrestle on ECW again, so I came at the first available opportunity. I even have an opponent in mind… but since you're the new ECW General Manager I thought I'd run it by you first."
"Lay it on me dog," said Long but then he noticed Estrada who was still sitting on time out. "Oh, wait a minute… Armando, you're dismissed." Estrada glared at Machetti and Long then left what used to be his office as the intro played. After the intro Adamle messed up when the scheduled Fatal-4-Way match turned into a Triple Threat Match between Punk, Dreamer, and Morrison which Punk went on to win after hitting Dreamer with the GTS.
When the match ended the cameras went backstage where Long was talking to Estrada, Machetti and the box of cigars were no where to be seen. "That letter's from the Board of Directors," said Long. "They have named me the new General Manager of ECW playa." Armando looked like he wanted to say something… but couldn't. "Armando," Long continued. "Look at the bright side, dog. You're still a highly paid superstar. In fact, I think you're making way too much money. Now, you can't be a General Manager and an active guy on the roster too. I mean, with Mr. McMahon's Million Dollar Mania goin' on over on Raw, I mean, its just financially irresponsible of my to pay you that kind of money man."
"Teddy," said Estrada. "Please work with me. I'm begging you. Can you help?"
"Alright I'll tell you what," replied Long. "I'm a business man. I'm fair, I'll work with you. Tell ya what I'll do. I'm gonna put you in a match tonight, how 'bout that?"
Estrada held back his real reaction and instead asked, "Against who?"
"Well, you're opponent is a very good friend of mine," answered Long. "I believe you know him. I invited him over from Smackdown. He's the Untied States Champion… Matt Hardy." The fans popped a bit while Estrada looked upset. "Hey, I suggest you get stepping playa. You've got a match tonight remember?"
"What the hell is going on here?" came a voice as Chavo Guerrero stormed into the office followed by his bodyguard Bam Neely. "I don't care who's in charge here. I was about to go out for my match to win a chance to face the ECW World Champion Kane later tonight, when someone told me I had been pulled from the match. WHAT'S GOING ON!?"
"Calm down playa," said Long as he turned to face the irate Guerrero while Estrada left the room. "You're still going to be wrestling tonight. In fact you're still going to be wrestling a world champion tonight."
"I am?" questioned Guerrero.
"Yeah, dog," replied Long. "Tonight you are going to face the New World Heavyweight Champion Machetti in an Extreme Rules match in his first match back on ECW in over a year."
"Are you serious?" asked Guerrero. "That means I can pay him back for what he did on Sunday…"
"That's what he told me you'd say," said Long. "I take it you're still interested?"
"Of course I'm interested," replied Guerrero. "Machetti won't even make it to Smackdown when I'm done with him." With that ECW went to a commercial break, three matches had been announce for later tonight, Estrada versus Hardy, Machetti versus Chavo Guerrero in an Extreme Rules match, and Kane versus CM Punk in a non-title match.
--x--
Estrada had not only lost his match to Matt Hardy but he had also lost a second match to Colin Delaney. After the commercial Estrada was in Long's office and Long decided that if Estrada still wanted a job he was going to have to earn his contract back, just like he had made Colin Delaney do to get his. The cameras then cut and showed a recap of the TLC match between Edge and the Undertaker and then showed the events that took place after it which led to Machetti becoming the World Heavyweight Champion. The cameras went to the arena where ECW Ring Announcer Tony Chimel was standing in the ring. "The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is being contested under EXTREME RULES!"
Ooooo Chavoooo!Chavo Guerrero's theme music hit and Chavo came out from the back accompanied by his body guard Bam Neely. "Introducing first, being accompanied by Bam Neely, from El Paso Texas, CHAVO GUERRERO!!" Chavo and Neely headed down to the ring both of them looked focused. On Sunday Machetti had cashed in the Money in the Bank Briefcase and beat Edge while he was still suffering from the after effects of the brutal TLC match he had been in with Undertaker to become the World Heavyweight Champion. Chavo was determined to beat Machetti so badly tonight, that on Friday when Edge used his championship rematch clause, he'd be able to beat Machetti as easily as he was beaten on Sunday. Then he was sure that Vickie would fire Machetti on the spot and that would rid them of the annoyance once and for all. At least, that was the plan. Guerrero got in the ring and completely ignored the fans that were booing him and focused on the entrance ramp where his opponent was due to make his appearance.
Riot Time hit and the fans cheered loudly as Machetti came out from the back, with the World Heavyweight Championship around his waist. Machetti was wearing most of his usual wrestling gear, including his t-shirt, but instead of wearing his usual black shorts he was instead wearing a pair of BLUE shorts, maybe to show his new brand loyalty. "And the opponent, from Detroit Michigan, weighing in at two hundred fifteen pounds, he is the World Heavyweight Champion, MACHETTI!!" Machetti sprinted down the ramp but stopped short of getting in the ring. Machetti glanced down at the ring apron and smirked then flipped it up and rummaged under it for a weapon. Eventually Machetti found what he was looking for a pulled out, HIS IRON PIPE! Machetti took the pipe and rolled into the ring with it, Chavo looked slightly intimidated but Neely threw a chair in the ring which he was quick to pick up, now both combatants were armed and ready to start the Extreme Rules Match. The referee glanced at the two competitors and decided it would be best to just stay the hell out of the way, so he called for the bell and the match was officially underway.
Machetti and Guerrero charged at each other and violently swung each of their weapons, the chair and the pipe smashed into each other with a loud clang that could even be heard in the cheap seats. Chavo staggered back then swung the chair around again, but Machetti ducked down, causing the chair to go over his head then he spun around AND BLASTED CHAVO IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH THE PIPE! Guerrero went down and Machetti took the chair and laid it on his chest then ran to the ropes but as he came off NEELY GRABBED MACHETTI'S ANKLES! Machetti tripped and staggered off of the ropes but didn't fall, only for Guerrero to shoot up off of the mat AND SMASH HIM IN THE FACE WIT HTHE CHAIR!! Chavo went to capitalize by going for a pin, ONE… TWO... but Machetti managed to kick out. He wasn't going to lose that easily, something Chavo was actually somewhat happy about, now he could continue to beat him!
Chavo got off of Machetti and picked up the chair then raised it up above his head and brought it crashing down on Machetti… BUT MACHETTI MOVED! Chavo smashed the chair down into the mat while Machetti rolled away and got up to his feet then he ran at Chavo and did a running back-flip then caught him as he was coming back down, RUNNING SHOOTING STAR PRESS DDT!! Machetti rolled Chavo onto his back then placed the chair on his chest, Machetti ran to the ropes, but this time went to the ones on the side of the ring across from Neely, then came off with a handspring and then a back-flip HANDSPRING MOONSAULT ONTO THE CHAIR!! Machetti slid the chair out of the way and covered Chavo, ONE… TWO… TH—GUERRERO KICKED OUT!
Machetti got up and stared down at Chavo with a smile on his face, sure his chest and stomach hurt like hell from smashing down on that chair but he really missed this. Machetti turned away from Guerrero and face the ropes then raised his arms up into the air and shouted E… C… DOUBLE U!! The fans cheered and Machetti turned around to find Chavo getting back up with the chair, Chavo was about to teach Machetti to never turn his back on a Guerrero. But Machetti ran at Chavo AND JUMPED CLEAR OVER HIM! Then landed on his hands and knees and shot his legs out behind him as Chavo turned around MULE KICK! Chavo doubled over and staggered forwards Machetti back shot back up BACK-FLIP KICK! MACHETTI SMASHED THE CHAIR INTO GUERRERO'S FACE!! Chavo fell backwards and hit the mat hard, Machetti moved the chair and went for a pin, ONE… TWO… THRE—CHAVO MANAGED TO KICK OUT!
Machetti stared down at Guerrero in surprise, but then smiled and shrugged before he got back up to his feet. Machetti took the chair and placed it on Chavo's chest, then went to the corner and climbed up onto the top rope, the fans popped but then… NEELY SHOVED MACHETTI OFF OF THE TOP ROPE! Machetti smashed down into the mat while the referee glared at Neely for the outside interference, since this was Extreme Rules that meant it was all legal, so there was nothing he could do. Chavo rolled over to Machetti and draped an arm over him, ONE… TWO… TH—but Machetti kicked out. Chavo got up and pulled Machetti up to his feet then hoisted him up into the air for a vertical suplex AND SLAMMED HIM DOWN ONTO THE CHAIR!! Chavo rolled his hips and got back up then turned around and hoisted Machetti up into the air for another vertical suplex AND AGAIN SLAMMED HIM DOWN ONTO THE CHAIR!! Guerrero rolled his hips and got up a third time, he was going for the Three Amigos. But as Chavo went to lift Machetti up for the third time, MACHETTI BLOCKED IT! Machetti kneed Chavo in the stomach then grabbed him, IMPALER ONTO THE STEEL CHAIR!! But instead of going for the pin Machetti got up and ran to the ropes then jumped up onto the top rope and springboarded off of it, ONTO NEELY WITH A HIGH FLYING BODY SPLASH!! MACHETTI TOOK OUT NEELY ON THE OUTSIDE! Machetti got up off of Neely and got back up, then climbed up onto the ring apron, he back-flipped off AND WENT CRASHING DOWN ONTO NEELY AGAIN FOR A MOONSAULT! Machetti rolled off of Neely and stared down at him, that was payback for the two times Neely had interfered in the match.
Machetti turned around then lifted the ring skirt and dug under it for another weapon MACHETTI PULLED OUT A TABLE! Machetti lifted the table up and went to slide it in the ring, BUT CHAVO HIT THE TABLE WITH A BASEBALL SLIDE! The table slammed into Machetti and he went flying backwards and slammed into the barricade. Machetti staggered forward and held his back but Chavo came over and grabbed the ropes then flung himself over with a slingshot… SLINGSHOT PLANCHA ONTO MACHETTI!! Guerrero just took out Machetti on the outside! Chavo got up and pulled Machetti up to his feet then rolled him back into the ring. Guerrero followed Machetti into the ring then got the table and set it up in the middle of the ring, but closer to one of the corners. Chavo pulled Machetti up and rolled him onto the table then went to the corner and climbed up onto the top rope. Chavo held his arms up into the air and called for the Frogsplash, the fans were booing the entire time. BUT MACHETTI ROLLED OFF OF THE TABLE! Machetti grabbed something on the ground, AND SMASHED CHAVO IN THE STOMACH WITH HIS PIPE!! Chavo lost his footing and crotched himself on the top rope, Machetti put the pipe down then went to the corner and climbed up onto the middle rope across from Guerrero. Machetti hit a few more shots to the midsection then climbed up onto the top rope before pulling Chavo up with him, Machetti threw Chavo's arm over his shoulders and held onto him, HE WAS GOING FOR A SUPERPLEX! BUT NEELY CAME FROM BEHIND AND SMASHED MACHETTI ON THE BACK WITH A CHAIR!!
Machetti slumped against Chavo who held him up while Neely moved to the corner and then took Machetti and sat him on his shoulders, Chavo let go of Machetti AND NEELY SLAMMED HIM DOWN TO THE MAT WITH A POWERBOMB!! The fans booed loudly and started chanting Bull Sh-t but then Chavo came out of the corner FROGSPLASH ONTO MACHETTI!!The booing only intensified and an even louder CHAVO SUCKS chant started. Guerrero ignored it and went for the pin, ONE… TWO… THRE—MACHETTI SOMEHOW KICKED OUT!! The fans cheered but Guerrero and Neely looked horrified. Adamle commented that Machetti must have balls of steel to have kicked out of that, while Tazz said an offhand comment wondering why that was the first place Adamle's mind went. Neely turned to Chavo and told him he'd take care of it. Chavo shrugged then went across the ring and hoisted himself up onto the top turnbuckle in the corner opposite the one Machetti was lying on the mat in and just sat there so he could watch. Neely went over to the table that was still set up in the middle of the ring and moved it over to the corner where he leaned it against the turnbuckle. Once the table was secured Neely pulled Machetti up off of the mat and dragged him over to the table then leaned him against it. Neely stepped back into the middle of the ring, CLOTHESLINE THROUGH THE TA—MACHETTI MOVED!! Neely slammed into the table and missed .Machetti sprinted across the ring at Guerrero who just sat there stunned. Machetti jumped up onto the top rope then onto Guerrero's shoulders and fell backwards, SUPER HURRICURANA!! Machetti got back up and ran across the ring at Neely, he did a handspring and then a front-flip, TURNBUCKLE SENTON! MACHETTI SMASHED NEELY THROUGH THE TABLE!!
Neely was out cold at Machetti got back up, but Chavo ran at him with a chair. CHAVO SWUNG AT MACHETTI, BUT MACHETTI DUCKED!! Chavo spun around slightly off balance but Machetti jumped up into the air SPINNING WHEEL KICK! MACHETTI SMASHED THE CHAIR INTO CHAVO'S FACE!! Machetti then took the chair AND SMASHED IT DOWN ON CHAVO'S KNEE!! Chavo started to scream out in pain but Machetti continued to hit Guerrero's knee with the chair. Over and over again Machetti slammed the steel chair down into Chavo's knee, Guerrero was yelling in agony, but Machetti finally stopped at about ten times. Then Machetti opened the chair and slid it on Guerrero's leg up to the knee. Machetti went and got his pipe THEN SMASHED IT DOWN ON THE CHAIR, CRUSHING CHAVO'S KNEE WITH THE CHAIR AS IT FOLDED!! Chavo screamed in pain while Machetti put the pipe down and slid the chair off of Chavo's leg then roughly dragged him into the middle of the ring. Machetti took Chavo's good leg and put the shin behind Chavo's bad knee, then rolled Chavo into the stomach while staying standing AND ONCE AGAIN LOCKED IN THE INVERTED CLOVERLEAF! Chavo screamed in pain, but he had no one to help him, Neely was still slumped against the corner on the remains of the table. With one final yell CHAVO TAPPED OUT!! The referee called for the bell and awarded Machetti the match by submission, but Machetti kept the hold on and continued to apply pressure to Chavo's bad knee. He was teaching Chavo a lesson and maybe he was regretting taking Machetti on by himself. By now Chavo had gone completely unconscious and was no longer moving. The referee told Machetti to break the hold, which Machetti finally did.
Riot Time played as Machetti stepped back from Chavo and raised his arms up into the air. The fans cheered Machetti as he was handed back the World Heavyweight Championship. Machetti raised his title up above his head then wrapped it around his waist and went to the corner where he climbed up onto the middle rope. Machetti raised his arms up into the air again and back-flipped out of the corner he landed and a blast of BLUE pyro shot up out of each of the ring posts. Machetti turned to the fans and gave them a small bow, then left the ring and headed to the back as ECW went to a commercial break, leaving Chavo and Neely lying out cold in the ring. What would Edge and Vickie Guerrero have to say about this on Smackdown this Friday?
--x--
WWE Smackdown was airing from Los Angelus California. After the intro played (it had been changed to include Machetti doing a 720 splash onto Edge from a lader) the recap of the Main Event and the Aftermath of One Night Stand was shown. The show stared and showed Edge and La Familia in the ring, the fans were booing loudly and didn't see at all pleased to see Edge. "Alright, shut the hell up!" snapped Edge. "I've got something to say dammit!" This only caused the fans to boo him even louder. "Tonight was supposed to be a victory celebration, on Sunday I beat the Undertaker in a TLC match to win the World Heavyweight Championship and banished him from the WWE. Because of me none of you will ever see the Undertaker again." But suddenly THE LIGHT'S WENT OUT!! The fans cheered loudly the lights came back on and Edge was looking a bit worried in the ring, but then he and La Familia started laughing. "Sorry," Edge apologized insincerely. "I had to do it. Undertaker is no longer with us, may he rest in peace. I beat the Phenom on Sunday and was awarded the World Heavyweight Championship but someone took that away from me." Edge's mood dramatically changed and the fans cheered loudly fully supporting that someone that had beaten Edge at his own game and had won the World Heavyweight Championship from him.
"That bastard Machetti had the nerve to blindside me with a camera and cashed in the Money in the Bank contract while I was weakened to become the World Heavyweight Champion. I think Machetti, as well as everyone here knows that the same thing wouldn't have happened if Machetti had challenged me while I was at one hundred percent. MACHETTI DIDN'T BEAT ME!" Edge looked pissed, but to further infuriate him the fans started a MACHETTI chant. "You know what, I've got an idea. MACHETTI GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE! I'M GOING TO BEAT YOU AND TAKE BACK MY TITLE RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!! MACHETTI YOU STOLE MY TITLE FROM ME AND I WANT IT BACK!!" The fans popped loudly, but Vickie Guerrero interrupted.
"Edge, sweetie, I'm sorry," apologized Vickie. "I knew you wouldn't be in the best mood right now, so I had security bar Machetti from the ring for now. I have some announcements I want to make and I didn't want him to interfere."
"Well in the mood I'm in, this had better be good," grumbled Edge.
"Well, Edge, I think you need something to lift your spirits," said Vickie. "So in five weeks on July Eleventh, you and I will be pledging our endless love in holey matrimony!" Edge smiled and Chavo Guerrero who was nursing a bad knee slapped him on the back. Hawkins, Ryder, and Neely all congratulated Edge as well. "And I have one more announcement to make…" continued Vickie. "At Night of Champions, Edge, I'm going to allow you to invoke your rematch clause and face Machetti for the…"
SUDDENLY BATISTA'S THEME MUSIC HIT!! The fans popped while Edge, Vickie, and La Familia all looked surprised. Batista came out from the back wearing a white sleeveless shirt, jeans and a pair of sunglasses, but before anything could happen, Smackdown went to a commercial break.
--x--
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" demanded Vickie when Smackdown came back. Batista was still standing up on the stage and had interrupted her when she was about to make her match for Night of Champions.
"Whoa, whoa, calm down…" Batista started to say.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?" Vickie demanded again.
"Look its not what you think!" said Batista. "I came out here to wish you the best, I want to say good luck in your upcoming wedding, you two, you really deserve each other, Vickie, Edge, sincerely from the bottom of my heart, I hope you two live happily ever after."
Batista paused for a moment then shouted, "I'M JUST KIDDING! I CAN'T STAND EITHER ONE OF YOU!! YOU MAKE ME SICK! I HOPE THAT YOU HAVE FAT, UGLY LITTLE KIDS, I HOPE YOU TWO MAKE EACH OTHER MISERABLE!!"
"Hey, hey, hey," Edge interrupted. "Batista is that all you came out here to say? Because if it is I…"
"Well," interrupted Batista. "Actually there's one more thing. Last week I said I was going to challenge whoever won the World Heavyweight Champion in the TLC match at One Night Stand… but I guess neither one of you did. But that's still what I'm gonna do, right now. MACHETTI, I WANT YOU IN A MATCH FOR THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!!"
"Oh no you don't!" snapped Edge. "No! No one gets a shot at Machetti before I do! He stole my title and I'm gonna get it back. I don't care if you want a match with him, the first title match against him belongs to me!"
"Wait, Edge, honey," said Vickie. "I have an idea." Edge glanced at Vickie then shrugged, Vickie usually had ideas that positively benefited him.
"Batista, you want a World Championship match?" questioned Vickie. "Well you're going to have to earn it. I'm the General Manager of Smackdown, I don't take orders I give them. So tonight, you will have a match an eight-man tag match. Let's see, Edge, Chavo, Hawkins, and Ryder versus you and three of my choosing. If you win, I'll make the match at Night of Champions a Triple Threat Match between you, Edge, and Machetti. But if you lose… you had better hope you get drafted, because you'll never get a title match for the World Heavyweight Championship AGAIN!"
But suddenly RIOT TIME PLAYED!!The fans started cheering loudly as Machetti came out from the back with the World Heavyweight Championship on his shoulder. "Hey, don't I get a say in this?" asked Machetti.
"NO!!" shouted Vickie.
"What the hell is he doing here!?" demanded Edge. "I thought you had him detained by security."
"Oh, you mean those seven security guards?" questioned Machetti. "Oh, I ran into them. I also ran in to an old friend of mine who was looking for a tag team partner. Those security guards came at a bad time and now they're kind of… well… they're unconscious. Sorry, but they were in the way."
"What the hell do you want? You're interrupting!" snapped Vickie.
"Oh, I'm interrupting you?" inquired Machetti. "I'm sorry. If I had known I'd be doing that I would have come out sooner. No, I just had this strange idea that maybe the World Heavyweight Champion would be able to have a say in who he faces in a title match. And last time I checked…" Machetti took the title off his shoulder and looked closely at the name plate which read Machetti, "… yup, still the World Heavyweight Champion."
"I'm the General Mana…"
"Yes, yes, you're the General Manager," interrupted Machetti. "But I'm just wondering if there's a third option here. See, from the looks of this, I either have to face the Annoying Canadian that can't seem to swallow a taste of his own medicine… or…" Machetti turned and stared at Batista who was standing on the stage beside him. "The muscle-bound idiot that brought it upon himself to take offense to something my former mentor did to his former mentor and as a result sent my mentor to the hospital on Sunday."
"Hey!" snapped Batista. "Shawn got what he had coming to him! That little bastard…"
"No he's in the back right now," Machetti interrupted. "Now what was it you wanted to say? That he beat Ric Flair in a match he was asked to wrestle in? That he didn't lie down like you would have? Or was it that he managed to trick you and win a match at Backlash against you? Tricking you doesn't seem so hard, I mean I tricked the Canadian Idiot over there on Sunday… I'm sure tricking you wouldn't be that hard."
"You think so huh?" questioned Batista. "Well why don't we meet up later and you can…"
"Whoa, whoa, take it easy there big guy!" Machetti said quickly to cut him off. "I don't swing that way and I'm spoken for." Batista glared at Machetti for his insinuation. "Besides, you're busy enough as it is tonight. All I came out here to say was that I don't care who wins this match tonight, I'll take great pleasure in beating either one of you at Night of Champions. So I'll be watching the match tonight with great interest."
"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" snapped Vickie. "Do you think I'm going to let you come out here an interrupt me, then get away with it without facing any repercussions?"
"Uh… yes?" answered Machetti.
"NO!" exclaimed Vickie. "Tonight you're going to face…"
"Just slow down there for a second," instructed Machetti. "You're a little low on resources at the moment. The Canadian Idiot, Chavito, and the Canadian Idiot wanna-bees are all facing Team Batista tonight. And I've already put what's-his-name through a table this week. I've already wrestled twice this week, three times if you include my World Title victory, and I won all those times. I even beat up seven security guards with the help of a big scary friend… so I'm on a roll. How about you just take a week or so to think of a more suitable punishment and we'll deal with it then, and maybe I'll have lost some of my momentum."
"He may have a point," Chavo commented quietly. "My knee is still sore after what he did to me on ECW."
"Alright fine," conceded Vickie. "You can have the night off tonight… but next week… in your first match on Smackdown as an official Smackdown Superstar… you'll be facing MARK HENRY!"
Whatever response Vickie was hoping for, it wasn't the one she got. Up on the stage Machetti burst out in uncontrollable laughter. "That's the best you could come up with?" laughed Machetti. "Thanks!" With that Machetti dropped the mic and headed to the back leaving a startled Vickie Guerrero, a pissed off Batista, an angry Edge in his wake. The fans popped as Riot Time hit and Smackdown went to a commercial break.
--x--
After the Great Khali had beaten Deuce and Domino, Vickie Guerrero was in her office with the Smackdown Divas and had informed them that she would be creating a Women's Championship for her brand. She announced a Golden Dreams match for tonight. As the divas left, Ryder and Hawkins came in looking sheepish.
"What do you two want?" asked Vickie.
"Uh… well… you see…" Ryder started.
"We had nothing to do with this but… uh," said Hawkins.
"Yrcrsbengtwd," Ryder said quickly.
"What?" questioned Vickie.
"You're uh… car is being towed…" Ryder said again, but slower.
"WHAT THE HELL!?" shouted Vickie. "Get me out there! I need to stop this!" Hawkins wheeled Vickie out of the office as Smackdown went to a commercial break.
--x--
Smackdown came back and Vickie came out into the parking lot to find a tow truck hooked up to her car. "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!?" Vickie yelled at the tow truck driver.
"You're illegally parked in a handicap spot," answered the tow truck driver as he pointed to the handicapped sign in front of Vickie Guerrero's car.
"I am handicapped!" snapped Guerrero. "I'M IN A WHEELCHAIR!"
"I can see that," said the tow truck driver. "But you don't have a sticker, and I have pictures here of you walking that are dated from Sunday." The drivers showed Vickie some pictures of her celebrating with Edge after he had beaten Undertaker in the TLC match, then her standing on the ramp shouting at Machetti while he cashed in his briefcase.
"But… I… it's not what it looks like!" protested Vickie.
"Look," said the truck driver. "I'm just doing my job. If this is really all a mistake you can come by the Impound later and try to explain it there. But for now I've got a job to do."
"YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!" snapped Vickie. "But now I've got a show to run. I'll deal with you later."
The tow truck driver shrugged as Hawkins wheeled an angry Vickie Guerrero out of the parking lot. Off screen someone laughed, then MACHETTI WALKED OVER TO THE TOW TRUCK DRIVER!
"Nice job," said Machetti. "Here are those cigars I owe you."
"They're real Cubans right?" asked the tow truck driver as he took the box from Machetti.
"Yup, enjoy," replied Machetti as the truck driver got in his truck and drove off with Vickie's car. "That's what she gets for banning Paul, Brian, and Maria from the arena," Machetti said to the camera. With that the camera cut and showed a package highlighting the Santino Marella/Cousin Sal feud. That match was up next… after the commercial break.
--x--
(A/N: I love Mick Foley on commentary. The "Vince McMahon hasn't thrown away this much money since he signed Goldberg" line was hilarious.)
Smackdown was back with the Eight-Man Tag Main Event. Batista's mystery partners had turned out to be Funaki, Nunzio, and Colin Delaney. The latter of the three was currently in the ring getting beaten up. Vickie Guerrero and Bam Neely were at ringside for the match. As Smackdown came back Hawkins hit Delaney with a big snap suplex then pinned him down to the mat with his foot while making the tag to Ryder. Ryder came in and clubbed Delaney on the back and worked him over with a few shots to the stomach. Ryder went for a pin, but Delaney managed to kick out. Ryder pulled Delaney back up and went to whip him across the ring, only to reverse it at the last second and whip Delaney into the Edge, Chavo, and Hawkins were in. Delaney fell to the mat while Ryder tagged in Hawkins who made the pin, ONE… TWO… TH—but Delaney kicked out. Batista encouraged Delaney from the corner while Hawkins tagged in Chavo. Guerrero came in and pulled Delaney up then nailed him with a hard back drop. Chavo taunted Batista then pulled Delaney up and tagged in Edge. Chavo held Delaney while Edge kicked him hard in the ribs.
Edge stood over Delaney and taunted the crowd and received cheers that only he could hear. Edge prodded Delaney around the mat with his foot, then eventually shoved Delaney back into the corner. Edge whipped Delaney hard across the ring and he slammed into the opposite corner and fell down. Edge walked beside Delaney as he crawled on the mat and tried to make a tag to Batista, then Edge pulled Delaney up and held out his arm for Batista to tag, only to roughly shove Delaney back down to the mat. Edge kicked Delaney hard in the back then pulled him up and held Delaney in a side headlock while allowing him to struggle towards Batista. BUT EDGE DARTED FORWARD AND KNOCKED HIM OFF THE APRON!! Edge took Delaney's arm and tagged in Funaki while Batista was down then dragged Funaki into the middle of the ring as Batista was getting back up. Batista tried to get in the ring but the referee restrained him, Funaki hit Edge with some shots to the midsection and pulled himself free then ran to the ropes and bounced off. Edge got his foot up and Funaki ran full speed into a big boot. Edge dragged Funaki to the corner and threw him against the turnbuckle then tagged in Chavo.
Chavo stomped on Funaki then stepped back and distracted the referee, allowing Edge, Hawkins, and Ryder to illegally choke Funaki against the bottom turnbuckle. When the referee turned around they backed away from Funaki and made it look like they were as far from him as possible. Chavo pulled Funaki away from the corner and up to his feet, then took him down with an uppercut. Chavo pulled Funaki up off of the mat, but suddenly Funaki started fighting and hit some shots to the midsection. Funaki ran back to the ropes, but Chavo jumped up into the air, causing Funaki to run full speed into a dropkick. Chavo grabbed Funaki's head then dragged him back into the corner and tagged in Hawkins. But suddenly, RIOT TIME HIT!
The fans popped as Machetti came out from the back carrying the World Title with him. Edge and La Familia, as well as Batista glared at the World Champion. Only Delaney seemed overly happy to see Machetti. Machetti started around the ring but Bam Neely came over and cut him off. Neely went for a clothesline, but Machetti ducked it, THEN BASHED HIM IN THE FACE WITH THE TITLE!! Since Neely wasn't involved with the match, Machetti hitting him didn't count as outside interference, the match kept going. Chavo climbed up onto the turnbuckle and jumped off at Machetti for a flying crossbody, BUT MACHETTI MOVED!! Chavo slammed down to the floor while Machetti continued around the corner and eventually found himself in front of Vickie Guerrero.
"GET AWAY FROM ME!" Vickie screamed.
"Look, I feel sorry about getting your car towed," said Machetti. "I wanted to give you a ride." Faster than Vickie could say 'no' Machetti slipped behind the wheelchair and grabbed the handles then pushed Vickie and wheeled her around the ring and started up the ramp. Edge stared in horror from the ring then quickly ran after Machetti and Vickie and chased them up the entrance ramp and eventually to the back. Ryder and Hawkins were left in the ring, but suddenly Funaki hit Hawkins with an Enzuigiri AND MADE THE TAG TO BATISTA!! Batista ran in and took Hawkins' head off with a clothesline, while Delaney and Nunzio ran in and knocked Ryder off of the apron. Batista dragged Hawkins up off of the mat and stuck his head between his legs, then lifted him up onto his shoulders, BATISTA BOMB!! Batista made the pin, ONE… TWO… THREE! HE GOT IT! BATISTA WINS!
I Walk Alone played as the cameras went backstage where Machetti was still running away from Edge while wheeling Guerrero in front of him. Machetti quickly rounded a corner, Edge came after him but suddenly, KANE CAME OUT OF NOWHERE AND TOOK OUT EDGE WITH A MONSTEROUS CLOTHESLINE!! Machetti came back without Vickie and walked up to Kane. "Thanks big guy," said Machetti. "Now that you've done your part of the deal, you've got yourself a tag team partner for ECW next week."
"As much as I'd like to take on Miz and Morrison on my own," commented Kane. "I know they're the tag team champions for a reason. It'll probably be good thing having some back up."
"Happy to do it," replied Machetti. "Oh and sorry about that brother of yours. Now if you excuse me, I've got a future opponent to taunt."
The cameras cut back to the ring where Batista was still celebrating. Hawkins, Ryder, Guerrero, and Neely were all looking on from ringside and Batista's music was still playing. But suddenly it cut and once again Riot Time played. Machetti came out from the back and walked out onto the entrance ramp then stood there and smirked at Batista. Batista turned and stared at Machetti, slightly confused. Did Machetti just help him win the match? Would he have been able to win if Machetti hadn't interfered? When he saw the confused look on Batista's face Machetti's smirk got bigger, then he turned and headed to the back as Smackdown went off the air.
--x--
Vickie's got a bit more than she can handle with Machetti on Smackdown now. Also the Inverted Cloverleaf has yet to be named. I only have on suggestion for a name and while I like it, I did say I'd let you guys decided in a new poll. The only problem is I need more than two choices to do a proper poll. So yeah, review and submit names for the move and then I'll post the poll.
Also, Machetti's next week as already been announced. Kane and Machetti versus Miz and Morrison as the ECW Main Event (sorry Punk, but I'm replacing you). And then Machetti versus Mark Henry on Smackdown.
'Till Next Time…
Peace!