Ikuto's P.O.V

I didn't wake until I felt the car come to a complete stop and Utau open the door and slammed it. Groggily I took in my surroundings. We were deep in the woods, in front of a cottage that sat right beside a lake that sparkled blue as sunlight hit it. It looked like something out of a fairy tale.

The only thing that was missing was the princess.

She was dead.

I got out of the car and helped Utau unload the bags she had grabbed before we left. We took all our stuff inside and I laid on my bed as Utau started fixing up hers.

'Why didn't I believe her?' was the question that rang through my head, constantly. Maybe if I had believed her. Maybe if I had listened. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

Maybe she would still be alive.

My heart lurched at the thought of this. She wasn't alive. She was dead. My Amu was dead. The thought of that made me sick to my stomach. It made me want to puke. I was breathing. She wasn't.

"You cant blame yourself." says Utau as she stood in my doorway, casually leaning against the frame.

I didn't reply. Of course I could blame myself, it was my fault that she was dead. It would always be my fault that she wasn't alive.

"She sacrificed her life for you," she stopped when she saw me flinch. "So you could live." she finished, now sitting on the edge of my bed.

"I didn't want her to do that. She wouldn't be dead if I had listened to her," I said bitterly.

"Maybe so. Maybe she would be alive. But there is always the chance that you wouldn't be. She would have just followed you to the grave. So its either one or both of you." she said.

"Both," I spit.

"Just stop it, Ikuto! You don't get it! She wanted..no, she needed you to live. Why are you being such a bitch about it!?" yelled Utau.

I chuckle humorlessly.

"My life without her hardly passes the standards of a life." I spit at her venomously.

"STOP BEING SO SELFISH! I left things behind. I had to leave the only man I have ever loved so I could protect you. People are all around you who care about you. Who want you to be happy, and all you do is feel sorry for yourself? That isn't fair and it isn't right. If your going to be like this I might as well just go back to the academy. At least I know I have friends there." said Utau as she stalked out of the room.

But right before she was out of earshot, I said this. "Imagine if Kukia took a bullet for you. You left unhurt, but he was dead. Then you read his journal, finding out about how crazy for you he was. How he wished that you would return his feeling, when all along, you did. You where just to much of a coward to admit it. I lost the girl I loved, Utau…because im a coward."

I hid my face behind my bangs, but you could still see salt drops dripping off my chin.

Utau came back into the room and wrapped her arms around me. She held me as I let my sorrow consume me.

I needed to grieve.

If I grieved, then I think I would be able to find the hatred I needed. That need for revenge that at the moment my sorrows where drowning out. I needed to be driven by something.

And sorrow wasn't going to work.

I don't know how long I cried in Utau's arms. It was pathetic, and I knew that it made me look weak… but the thing was, I WAS.

Without Amu, the pillar holding up my remaining sanity collapsed. Every emotion I kept locked up, sprung out.

Eventually, grief and sadness drove me to sleep.

Dream

I was in a field of daisies, and I was comfortable. There was a sense of peace that was washed over me. I didn't have a care in the world.

Then the sky started to darken. Thunder rumbled and lightning flashed. All the peace that had washed over me, evaporated. I saw a figure running toward me. She was frantic in her movements.

"Amu!" I yelled and Amu kept running towards me.

She was alive, I was so happy. Until I saw a disturbed look on her face.

"Ikuto, I don't have much time. You have to kill him. Kill Nikaidou! Find me. Please, Ikuto, Im begging you." she says as she grasps her arms. Then, all of a sudden, her eyes grow wide. She clutches her stomach and falls to her knees, her breath coming in short gasps. I saw something… I saw a thorny rose stem protruding from her stomach, staining the white dress she was in crimson red.

"I love you!" she screamed, as she fell to the ground, dead. Her before I could reach out and grab her, the earth swallowed her up.

"Ikuto…" said a voice behind me. I turned around to see another Amu… a dark Amu who was coated in blood from head to toe.

"Why did you kill me!" she said in a haunting, eerie voice.

"I didn't.." I try to say.

"All I wanted to do is love you…so why, Ikuto…its all your fault." she said.

"No…"

"Its all your fault, its all your fault, its all your fault." she chanted as she grew bigger and bigger.

"NO!" I screamed.

The there was a burst of light and the dark Amu screeched and fell to the ground. There was the light Amu, dressed in white, still stained in blood.

"Find me, Ikuto. I might be dead, but I can wake up. All I need is-" she said.

Dream end.

I shot up out of my dream, panting.

I could see that it was late, by the darkness out of my window. Even Utau was asleep.

I shakily put my head in my quivering hands. It was so real. I could have sworn that it was her voice. Her face. Her touch.

It had to be. My mind couldn't have made Amu so perfectly. She was telling me something.

She was still alive, she just needed something to wake up. I couldn't hear her. What did she say! I searched my brain, knowing that it was hidden in there somewhere, but I couldn't find it! What was it?

I couldn't mourn anymore. Amu was alive. I needed to kill Nikaidou to get her back. Now.

…

Sorry it took so long to update…finals..hope you like this chapter! And if you didn't get the dream, it was the real Amu and Ikuto's guilt in Amu's form fighting against one another. Hope you liked it! Please tell me what you think and give me ideas! Thanks so much for reading~!