Unfortunately, there is no perviness this chapter. Sorry about that. Put in for your choice of who comes next and I might be able to come up with some perviness if you like. :P
The Secret Life of Shoes 2
Sole Brothers
I have spoken to a lot of shoes in my time – flip flops, sandals, ballet flats, sneakers, joggers, FMPs, even a pair of taps once – but none have it harder than the average left combat boot, or Leftennant, as us Righties refer to them. Think about it, most shoe pairs work perfectly in tandem, sharing the loads, making joint decisions and all that jazz. Not combat boots though. You see, we have the misfortune of having a military background, where there is always someone in charge. So it evolved that the right combat boot, such as me, should naturally be in charge of their left counterparts.
Usually.
Of course, the system works if you believe in that sort of tried and tested thing. It's just that... I like my Leftennant too much to be able to boss him around. I told him so when we were new. First day we met, I watched him saying goodbye to his fellow lefties, mucking about and being happy. When I looked over at the already paired shoes I noted a distinctly dejected look on all the Leftennants. I couldn't bear to cause that loon on a fellow boot; it just didn't sit well with me. So as my new partner made his way over to me I ensured that I was out of hearing distance of my Righty friends.
"Leftennant Lev reporting for duty, Sir," he announced crisply, a total change from the demeanour I had witnessed moments before. "I'm only going to give you one set of orders, so listen carefully." I waited for Lev to confirm that he was paying attention, all stiff and nervous, before giving the most important statement of my life. "I am not your superior officer," I informed him firmly. "You are not to refer to me as sir under any circumstances. I am Rhys. Likewise, you are Lev, not Leftennant Lev or any derogatory names you may hear other Right Boots using. This is a partnership. I will respect you opinions and expect you to do the same for me, but decisions will be made jointly where applicable."
Lev was gobsmacked, not saying anything, which I took to be an indication of how intensely his inferiority complex had been beaten into him. It took a while for him to believe that I wasn't going to go back on my word the moment he moved his tongue against my opinion, but we got there, sharing responsibility for the outcome of all missions.
By no means was it an easy road. I was constantly ridiculed for letting my Leftennant run amuck, while Lev was admonished for not doing as he Righty said. Righties are right for a reason, afterall.
Lev and I were closer than most combat boots were, for obvious reasons, but in no way did our relationship get in the way of our crime fighting abilities. In fact, I would say that our relationship improved out strength and cohesiveness. If it weren't for the fact that our methods were a little unorthodox I'm sure we'd have gotten combat boots of the month, instead of Riply and his mindless drone getting it all the time.
It was because of our friendship that I knew the Lev packed a decent roundhouse kick on him. Usually, the Righty does all the actual kicking, while the Leftennnt does all the supporting. Not us. We attack from any angle necessary to get out man. It's great being friends with my Leftie because I always have someone to wind down with after a particularly exciting mission. I can't imagine what kind of bundle of nerves I would be all the time if I didn't have Lev and the theme song he'd given our partnership: Hey, Brother. Go Brother. Sole Brother. Go Brother. Good times.
And now, I am off to read the latest chapter of Training Days which I deliberately ignored until I typed this up. FYI, my fingers are frozen right now, so I hope you appreciate it. I could have waited until morning when it's slightly warmer, but I decided it needed to be done now. Don't forget to review!