DISCLAIMER: I own no rights to the Mighty Boosh or the characters. I basically own nothing in this story. XD

A/N: Hi guys, thanks for reading and thanks for all the reviews so far guys, means a lot. :D

SUMMARY: Vince is the new boy at a boarding school in Leeds but what happens when he makes it his policy to wreak havoc and meets a boy called Howard?

TITLE: The Boarding School

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The Boarding School

Chapter 14- Reduced and Rebuilt

The next day, Vince woke up when Howard threw a file at his head and narrowly missed but the impact was heard from the cushion beside him which had in fact taken the worst of the blow.

"What's up with you?" Vince asked and manoeuvred himself to a sitting position, his hair like a giant hedgehog on his head.

"Why don't you try justifying this?" Howard threw a letter at his head and sighed in disbelief. "Vince, why the hell did you write that? I thought we were friends." The taller boy snatched the letter from him and began to read aloud so the other boy could hear. Naboo was sat on his bed, patiently waiting with anticipation.

"Dear Leroy, this is hell! I have to get out of here now. There's this boy called Howard in my year and I'm sharing a room with him right, he's well dry." Howard began to tell the story. "He's an idiot and so boring I consider slitting my wrists when I'm around him. He's got this insane idea I like him but he's wrong. I'm just using him so I don't look like a loner and then maybe I can get out of this hell hole earlier by making him help me get expelled. He's all emotional and weird… he freaks me out. Also there's a boy called Naboo who wears a turban. He's just as weird… he's the shortest, strangest loser I've ever met in my entire life. None of them like Numan and if I don't get out of here I think my head'll explode. Reply soon yeah? Until then, stay punk… one of us has to.

Vince

xx" Howard was almost in tears as he read. Sure, Vince had written some of that like how it was hell but for completely different reasons. He would never call them losers… especially not Howard. He looked up at his chocolate eyes which had pain and hurt intertwined in each and every solitary gaze and dropped his stare to the floor again. If only Naboo had a potion to erase time… he'd use them all. Vince looked up with guilt gleaming in his eyes.

"Howard, it's not what you… I didn't write that!" Howard rolled his eyes.

"So you're just using us?" The smaller man asked and walked to the doorway. "My height is not my fault! It's genetic!" Naboo screamed and slammed the door shut.

"Well here's something for you Vince, you're on your own from now." Vince clung to Howard's arm for dear life and even endured being dragged along the floor.

"Howard please you have to believe me! I didn't write it I didn't!" The door slammed again and there he lay, curled up in a vulnerable ball of nothingness. Vince sat up, tears slowly making tracks of eyeliner and mascara down his paler than usual cheeks. He was almost white, and by white, I mean white. He looked as though he'd been but in the washing machine with half a box of Daz Crystal White. There had to be someone behind it. He thought Lance but then he remembered… Lance is way too dumb to try that one he'd openly admitted that he couldn't work a computer but Harold… he was a genius when it came to things like that.

"Oi, you little ballbag what did you do?" Vince screamed at Harold, his eyes blazing with pure fury and vengeance.

"I didn't do anything!" Harold's voice was defenceless but Vince hated it when people underestimated his single brain celled intelligence. Pushing him with more force against the locker, Vince stared into his eyes and raised an eyebrow. Just as he was about to throw him against the locker a final time, Howard walked by and pulled the angry little man away from a rather scared boy.

"Vince! You're unstable." Howard shouted and pushed Vince away from him. "You're a lying, evil, violent, horrible tart and I don't care if I never see you again! The sooner my parents come to pick me up, the sooner I get away from you!" Howard spat the words and felt hurt run through him like wildfire. Vince was everything he had dreamed off, everything he wanted and yet he meant so little to him? Howard couldn't place why he was so meaningless to him after all they had said and done together. Memories that no one could ever take away from them except jealousy and vanity which had somehow pulled them apart, Vince was all Howard needed to get through life but if he felt like he was a jazz obsessed, unfashionable, geeky looser he was unsure he could ever trust Vince again.

Vince had a way of making thing better when they were at the worst possible place to be. He said the right things at the right times an all but Howard was waiting on those three words he wanted to hear so badly that he was tearing himself apart to hear them.

"Tell him! Tell him what you did!" Vince screamed at the top his voice, his words breaking in the middle.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Harold replied, a cocky and obnoxious grin on his face.

"You bitch! What the fuck are you doing?" Vince's voice was at breaking point… he was at breaking point. Everyone was staring at him. Maybe because they were all A grade point averagers and he was swearing his face off. "You know what? Believe what you want but I know what I said and it was not that." With that he ran away to sit on a bench in the freezing winter air outside. After about an hour, Howard joined him and sighed.

"Vince, what was all that about?" His voice was soft, calm and… affectionate.

"I'm telling the truth Howard. Are you really going to believe that jazzy tit over me?" Howard remained unspoken, his glance glued to a pointless spot on the floor. Vince tipped up Howard's head and raised an eyebrow. "Well?"

"No. I was being stupid and I'm sorry. I never meant it but you can understand why I'd feel so upset. You're everything I've ever wanted and for you to backstab me would be horrible." Vince nodded; he knew what it felt like to be backstabbed.

"I know I want to show I'm sorry for all I said to you in there but you have to admit… Harold is a bit of a tit." Vince smiled and wrapped an arm around Howard's waist, pulling him closer to him until they were inches away and he could feel Howard's spearmint breath on his face. Vince crunched their lips together and soon reluctantly pulled away to draw breath. Grinning against Howard's lips, he sighed and rested his head on Howard's chest.

"Now we need revenge on these two impersonators. This is a travesty sir!" Howard giggled along with Vince and broke into manic laughter when Vince fell off the bench. "Are you okay little man?" Vince raised a hand and made an 'O' shape with his fingers like Italian chefs do. "Good." Howard chuckled and soon joined Vince on the floor when he realised last minute he was sat too close to the edge.

"Woops." Vince smiled and sat up, making sure his phone, iPod, hair and Howard were okay. "Right, I say we show him up… make him feel crap and wish he'd never picked on us but first I have to apologise to Naboo." The short shaman waddled in and smiled.

"No need. Harold told me what happened when I set Tony Harrison on him… he soon told the truth." Naboo helped up both boys and ginned. "I think I have something in my potion closet that'll make him look like a complete idiot." Howard wrapped an arm around both boys' shoulders and smiled.

"Lead the way."

A/N: Sorry for the language in this chapter but remembers he was angry. Please review and tell em what'cha thought.