Chapter 14: Last Day
After two more months of intense studying and constant worrying, the NEWTs finally began. For Isla, they passed in a haze, as if they were nothing more than a dream at crack of dawn. Too many dreams, she thought as she tiredly rose from her chair and submitted the final paper to the examiners. She immediately made her way towards the lake. Nothing could keep her inside. She did not even wait for Sophia and Duilius to finish. She was in desperate need of quiet, solitude and sunshine.
It was over. The long-dreaded NEWTs were finally and irrevocably over. Isla was not certain whether she was glad of it, or not. There would be no more studying to fill her days and occupy her mind. There would be no more classes to justify her staying at Hogwarts. There would be no more anxiousness to cover her sadness. She was naked for all the world to see.
Had anyone asked her a year ago how she would feel upon graduating, she would have replied that she would be relieved that the examinations were over, but would be very sad to have to leave Hogwarts. How ironic, she thought, that I am glad school is over, but I will miss the studying. Her life nowadays was too full or irony, even for her sarcastic tastes. All that was left for Isla to hope now was that she had achieved top marks in Charms and Transfiguration so she could be part of Professor Williams' illustrious project.
She had not spoken to her parents of it yet, but thankfully Headmaster Fortescue had informed her father, stressing the significance of the research for the future of Transfiguration, and the fame that it would bring to all those who contributed to its successful outcome. Permission was therefore obtained without the slightest effort from her part. She was glad of it, for, though lying to her family with regards her actions and motives was by now second nature to her, she did not have the strength after the exams to argue her case.
No. All she could do at present, was lie in the grass and enjoy the summer warmth and the soothing sound of the lake slowly washing up the pebbled shore.
Horrible nights awaited Isla after the end of the exams, for Mrs McFarland saw no reason to continue prescribing to her Dreamless Sleep. At first, she would wake up twisting the sheets and blankets around her, perspiration running down her forehead, trying hard not to be heard crying. But, as June progressed towards the end of her school career, so did her handling of her nightmares; she would wake up in silent tears, take a few deep breaths to calm herself, and she would sleep the rest of the night through.
The days were not easier. Free at last as they were, and masters of their own fates, Sophia and Duilius showed their affection for each other without hesitation. They would talk and laugh, take long walks on their own, or simply stare into each other's eyes, completely mindless of the world around them. Ursula had had too much of this situation, and was spending her days mostly in the company of Julia Lestrange. Isla herself found her patience tried by her two best friends, and every afternoon she would take her broom and go flying, enjoying for what she knew to be the final time the untamed beauty of the Scottish Highlands. There was no getting away from her own thoughts and troubles, since no living creature in the castle was willing to distract her, and flying at least kept her mind a little, even if not wholly, busy.
The middle of June came, and with it the last day that Isla would spend in her beloved castle. She took time that day to wander aimlessly through the corridors, stroll the edge of the Forbidden Forest, visit one last time the Quidditch Pitch and her darling beech tree near the lake. She took this melancholy tour on her own, lost in the memories of all the sad, happy, triumphant and humiliating moments. Bob Hitchens was a prominent figure in her recollections. She was very much aware that, after tomorrow, she would not see him again. Even if she did, an insurmountable gap would exist between them, and conversation would be out of the question. It was the end, and she was helpless in facing its necessity.
That evening she took care to pull her hair into a simple bun; she felt that the occasion deserved her comely appearance. Along with Sophia, Ursula and Duilius, Isla made her way to the Great Hall for the End of Term feast, her final meal at the castle. It was over far too quickly, but she could not find enough feeling or energy in her body to protest. That night, her slumber was deep, and even though Sirius and Bob visited her in her dreams, she could not wake up and lament their loss.
The morning came, the trunks were moved by the house elves to the train, and Isla made her way towards the Hogsmeade Station on foot. It was too glorious a day for one to spend even a moment with one's head covered. Knowing that the eternal drizzle of London awaited her at the end of her journey, she decided to make the most of these last moments. As she walked up the steps that led from the dungeons to the Entrance Hall, and then down the path that led to the gates, and beyond to Hogsmeade and the train station, Isla's eyes thirstily drank every detail for her to cherish forever in her heart. She loved Hogwarts; she loved the way one could feel the seasons changing around oneself. The way Isla herself had changed, with only Bob as a witness. She reprimanded herself for being so ridiculously sentimental, but it could not be helped; Hogwarts had been a truer home to her than Number 12, Grimauld Place could ever be.
She arrived at the station at approximately the same time that the carriages halted in front of its entrance. Isla was not at all sorry to part from the thestrals that pulled the carriages, another reminder of that terrible day by the stream near Aunt Octavia's house. As soon as they dismounted, she was joined by her friends, and was herded onto the train. She did not have a chance to look back one more time at the castle, or to try and get a glimpse of Bob in the sea of students that surrounded the train. Instead, Isla was pushed into an empty compartment by Sophia, who did not want to leave her too long on her own in the middle of the crowd, lest she might do something foolish. Soon, the steam engine roared to life, and the train started to move slowly out of the station, leaving Hogwarts behind.
This was much worse than Isla's nightmares. She did not even get a last look at Bob. There would be no goodbyes, she knew that. But she would have liked to see him before giving up herself to duty. Her chance had now passed. There was no going back. He was lost to her. His desperate and angry eyes, red from the tears he had shed, fled through her mind, as all she could hear was the noise of the engine.
Within a month from her arrival from Hogwarts, Isla's nightmares had subsided, and she could sleep through most nights undisturbed. She was not happy; she tried to remain passive, but there was little more she could do.
Andronicus Gamp had made it a point to visit Number 12 once a week. Isla had a vague suspicion that her father was encouraging him to come. Once a week, therefore, she wore the most diplomatic smile she could muster, as her ears were bombarded with information about Mr Gamp's life that she had no interest in. Isla surprised even herself with her perseverance. Mr Black was led to believe, by her apparent fascination by Mr Gamp's conversation, that she reciprocated his feelings, or at least his interest in the suitability of the match.
Her days were idly spent, pacing her room, or helping Elladora with her homework. She was surprised by how lazy her sister had become after her OWLs. All capability of concentration and learning seemed to have evaporated from her. At least, Isla had something to occupy a few hours of the day, for she feared that otherwise she would go mad.
The much-anticipated day of the arrival of the results dawned, and the rays of light that reached her window found her walking nervously the length of her room. She knew that no one else in the house was up yet, so she tried to make her pacing light and silent. A century seemed to pass before a quiet tap was heard at the window. Isla immediately rushed to it, and let the owl that was there in. With shaking hands, she tore the seal of the Ministry of Magic on the scroll of parchment that she had taken from the owl, and eagerly read her results.
She had passed everything; she had As in Runes and Defense Against the Dark Arts, an E in Herbology, and, to her wild delight, Os in Charms and Transfiguration. A genuine smile, that had not adorned her lips for months and months, appeared on her face. She would be making Professor Williams' team after all. She was more glad than she could find words to express.
Isla patiently waited until her father was up and into the library. She timidly approached the door, and softly knocked.
"Enter", she heard his cold voice reply from behind the door.
She lost no time; she entered, and gave him the letter containing her results.
"Well done, Isla", said her father, somewhat impressed. "To be sure, you have not reached your brother's marks, but you have done well indeed. I assume you meet the requirements in order to join the mudblood's team."
Isla flinched at the word, but managed to remain calm.
"Yes, father."
"Very well. Inform him so that you can begin. Do not let a man such as him overshadow you, though. You must strive to make the Black name prominent in this effort."
"Of course, father. I shall work hard and bring honor to the family."
She rose to depart, when her father halted her.
"One more thing, Isla. I did not press the subject when it first came up because of your delicate health at the time." He paused, and pierced her with his dark, intense eyes. "How did that mudblood, Hitchens, came to behave so that day in the Library?"
Isla froze, and felt all the blood desert her face, betraying thus her emotion and uneasiness. Her gaze never wavered, however, from that of her father's, as she sat back down, buying time to think.
"Tell me the truth, daughter, for I cannot believe that even scum like him do not act without a reason or without provocation."
"I suspect that he wished to avenge himself on me", she said finally. "You must recall that, last year, I insulted him-called him a mudblood-in front of the whole school. I presume he thought that, creating such a scene in front of so many people, would cause stories to circulate of an imaginary association between us, as it undoubtedly did. And what better way to ruin a young lady than ruining her reputation?", she paused to examine the effect that her speech was having thus far to her father. "This is what I believe lies behind his arrogant behavior. That is, if he has enough brain to come up with such an effective plan."
Isla wildly hoped that the insult would settle Mr Black's doubts. He continued to stare deeply into her eyes, and she had the uncomfortable feeling that he was reading her mind. She was no master at Occlumency, but she immediately pushed all thoughts of Bob out of her mind, and focused on the few times she had talked scornfully of him.
His long scrutiny seemed to convince him that she was telling the truth; Isla's heart was racing in her chest under the pressure of his gaze.
"Then why did you not raise your wand to defend yourself? Could not your passive reaction be interpreted as guilt?"
"I believed that my character and impeccable behavior proclaimed my innocence more loudly and clearly than a curse. I am still of the same opinion."
As she finished, she held her breath in anticipation of what would follow. Very slowly, her father nodded his belief in her words. Isla was very glad she was sitting, for she was sure that, were she standing, her knees would buckle and betray her.
"Well, since Mr Gamp has not been put off by the incident, no harm is done."
"As you say, father, Mr Gamp is as gallant to me as ever. All's well that ends well."
"Yes. But, I warn you, Isla: such episodes, be they your fault or not, can only taint the name of Black."
Once more, his black eyes gazed intently at her, as he studied her for any inappropriate reaction. Isla's face remained stony, as it had for the whole of the interview; she was her father's daughter after all.
Thankfully, it was not long before she was dismissed. She hurried to her room, and paced the length of it in an attempt to calm herself from her father's attack. It had not been unexpected, so it did not find Isla unprepared for it. Still, it had been very trying; she had never expected Legilimency. She was immensely relieved that she had managed to get out of that tight spot. Deciding that the best way to tranquilize her nerves would be to focus her attention on something else, she spent the next couple of hours arranging the details of her position in the research program with Professor Williams through mail.
Due to some delay from the Ministry of Magic, the project had not yet began. It would be another week before the team's inaugural meeting. Isla was very excited to feel part of something, and, young as she still was, in spite of her experience thus far, could not help but hope that she would be esteemed and respected by her fellow researchers.
Later that day, Isla could be found drinking a glass of chilled pumpkin juice in the Leaky Cauldron. She was twitching with anticipation, as she glanced at her watch for what must have been the millionth time. Sophia, who had required to see her, was late. The note that she had sent to Isla had been urgent, and spoke of a very important thing that she had to tell her.
Another quarter of an hour passed, in which Isla fidgeted nervously in her seat, drank another glass of pumpkin juice, and harassed her watch by opening it too many times to check the time, before Sophia finally arrived, accompanied by Duilius.
"Thank Merlin! At last!", she sighed as she rose to greet her friends.
As she pulled back from the tight embrace that Sophia had captured her in, she noticed the broad smile on her lips, and the twinkle of happiness in her green eyes. Glancing at Duilius, she saw the same joy in every feature of his face.
"Well, my grades were beyond anything that I expected", said Duilius, after they had all informed the others of their results. "I got a position at the British and Irish Quidditch League Headquarters", he finished, beaming.
"And we wanted you to be the first to know our other news", continued Sophia, "since we very much hope that you will be my bridesmaid."
Isla looked at Sophia, and then at Duilius, who was beaming even brighter than before, if such a thing was possible. Finally, she processed what she had just heard, and with all her energy congratulated her friends on their engagement.
"Not that I am surprised", she continued, as she looked at Sophia with a raised eyebrow. "Both of you were-how shall I put it?-unable to take your eyes off each other?"
Isla batted her eyes mischievously at them, as Sophia scoffed and Duilius laughed heartily at her teasing.
"Of course, we shan't marry immediately; we will have to wait for a few months. I want us to have our own home, and we cannot afford it just yet", said Duilius. "There will be some money from my parents, of course."
"And my dowry", added Sophia. "It is small, but it will add to our funds."
"Yes, but that we will keep intact for the children", said Duilius, looking at Sophia adoringly.
For a few moments, the couple sat gazing at each other; Isla could not suppress a whisper of "Merlin help me", which thankfully reminded them that they had company.
Isla was happy, truly happy, for them; it was obvious that they loved each other tremendously, and she had no doubt that theirs would be a blissful union. Envy and reproach reared their ugly heads in Isla's chest, in spite of her efforts. How she wished that such joyful days were ahead of her with her heart's desire! She could not help but blame Sophia for her current sorry state. She blamed herself much more than her friend, but one is always consoled by the fact that one is not alone the author of one's misery. Sophia, trying to protect her station and standing in society, had made her see reason. But she had got the man she loved. She had nothing to lose by acting as she did. Isla, no matter how she acted, had a great deal to lose. And yet... Do not even think about it, she scolded herself that night, as she rolled over in bed, trying to fall asleep. It was not long before her sleep was broken by the same nightmare that tormented her since Christmas. Isla whole-heartedly wished that she had not failed Potions two years ago.