"FIYERO!"

At the sound of his name being screeched, Fiyero froze. He had been bathing at the well, and was just in the process of dabbing off the excess water when his serenity had been shattered. As best he could, he tried to cover himself with the ragged woven blanket he had brought with him, but Elphaba's forest-green hands snatched it away, leaving him exposed.

"I've been working on that for a WEEK!" she hissed, waving it in his face. "Look at it! It's RUINED!"

"Elphie, it's a raggedy old thing…"

"Old? It's NOT EVEN FINISHED! You know what is old?" she added, interrupting him. "Our bed sheet is old, but we'll be sleeping on it for a long time now that you've gone and defiled this one…"

"It was bunched in the corner! I had to pull twigs out of it to… oh."

"Yes, oh!"

"But you can fix it. You can magick it, can't you?"

Elphaba exhaled angrily and threw the half-finished blanket back at him. "Cover yourself, you green-cocked freak…"

Fuming, Elphaba stormed back through the camp, scooping up her baby boy who had been puttering in the dust with some of the other children of the tribe. Fexo, whose name was the best Paniwawa approximation of Frexpar, was a beautiful child, in the way that all healthy, chubby babies are beautiful. His soon-to-be thick black hair curled, and his rich brown skin only shone green in dim lighting. At the moment, however, Elphaba adjusted her hold on him to discover that his diaper had overflowed, leaving her hand covered in tar-like poo. Wetness leaked out the sides of his diaper onto her bare hip, and, at the end of her thread, she growled in disgust, holding the child out from her body.

The day continued much in this vein, and Elphaba was understandably tense by the late afternoon. After the dinner had been seen to, she slipped away to sit on the edge of the camp and unwind. She stared, dazed, at her toes half-buried in the sand, not noticing the shadow falling over her until an effeminate scream lashed at her eardrums.

The shock nearly knocked her backwards. She jumped and screamed as well, whipping her head around wildly. She could feel a defensive blast radiating out from her body, and her eyes landed on a septet of camels, whose backs had just been vacated by a sextet of riders who were now lying dazed in the dust several feet behind them. One of the camels, Elphaba could see, was Bandy; one of the ejected riders was Glinda.

Normally, Elphaba would have run to Glinda, but she was altogether too shocked by the sudden appearance of the strange men and camels. She was all the more perplexed when each of the camels sank to their knee, as Bandy had done, extending the decorated ankle. "Lady Elphaba," they chorused, in wavering but reverent voices.

The five riders were reviving, but Elphaba still couldn't move. A Munchkinlander, a Vinkus tribesman, a Gilikineser, a Quadling and a Glikkan had seen her, and Elphaba expected at any minute to hear harsh accusations of witchcraft.

At this point, three Paniwawas were running to help the visitors. Elphaba was still stony. She retreated slowly back into her tent. Fiyero and Fexo were at dinner now, and she dumped herself heavily onto the pallet, facing the tent flap. How dare Glinda surprise her like that?

"Nice, Elphaba." Glinda had poked her head through the tent flap and was now staring with a look of utter disappointment on her face. Elphaba noted with some satisfaction that Glinda's prim hair and traveling clothes were entirely disheveled.

"Did it hurt?"

"Uh… yes, actually, being blasted backwards off a camel did hurt. The ladies here fixed it quickly, though. Anyways, I brought them here so you could come out of hiding, and this is how you make a first impression."

"Glinda, in all fairness to me, you could have sent some kind of warning. You should have. I'm volatile."

"You say that like it's an excuse. Clean this place up. I'm having them in here to meet you."

Elphaba raised her eyebrows. "In case you'd forgotten, I'm the one in the dark here. How about you start by telling me who they are?"

"It's my council, of course: Wolf Claw, Rol, Cudgeon, Arden, Halaro and Bandy."

"Right, and what's this council doing here?"

"They came to see you, of course. Well – I brought them here for a leadership retreat."

"Without telling the tribe they were getting company?"

Glinda pushed herself all the way into the tent, huffing. "Will you stop thinking so little of me, Elphaba? We've been in the desert with a Scrow guide for three days already. We're simply stopping in to say hello before we leave. We weren't even going to take a meal."

Elphaba flopped backwards and covered her eyes. "Tell me if I'm wrong – they're not supposed to think I'm evil but they probably still do on some level."

"Unfortunately, yes."

"And up until now they thought I was dead."

"Yes. And I'd really appreciate it if you would turn on the charm, because if you act naturally you'll screw yourself over."

Elphaba glared at her friend, who returned the expression. "Fine. But I won't be happy about it."

"Well." They embraced. "It's good to see you looking good."

"You too, Glinda." They pulled apart, quite calmly. "Oh! I had the baby!"

Glinda's jaw dropped. "I forgot entirely!"

"Yes! But you can meet him later." She sighed. "Bring them in, I guess."

"Thanks, Elphaba. This means a lot to me."

Glinda left and came back, leading a line of guarded-looking men into the tent that Elphaba had rapidly magicked into a state of some sort of order. The expressions on their faces were almost comical. Every single one of them jumped upon catching their first glimpse of her face. Elphaba moved to extend her hand, but withdrew it as they gasped; apparently sharp movements were not tactful around this bunch. Remembering Glinda's order, she smiled and opened her mouth to speak. "Well, I trust this is a shock for everyone."

The council nodded and murmured assent, and the big blonde Gilikineser muttered "Quite".

Glinda laughed her charming, tinkling laugh; she had slapped on her public relations face. "Imagine, stopping by to say hello to the tribe and discovering a long-lost friend! What are the odds?"

The one Elphaba took to be Arden spoke again. "Indeed." She was starting to vehemently dislike him.

Glinda unconsciously raised a hand to her hair. "And you'll never guess who else is here. Prince Fiyero," she interjected, before anyone had sufficient time to guess. "He and Elphaba were married by Paniwawa ritual. Married! Fancy that!"

"Yes," said the blond.

"Ah…" Glinda was fishing. "Elphaba, why don't you tell us about your adventures?"

Elphaba stared at Glinda incredulously, and Glinda shrugged back, a frantic look on her face. Elphaba cleared her throat and faced the men. "Well, I suppose my adventures began with my escape from Oz after the Dorothy incident." The first roadblock had been hit; Elphaba looked back at Glinda, mouthed "Scarecrow", and shrugged; Glinda shrugged back and nodded. "Prince Fiyero fetched me from the castle. I'd turned him into a scarecrow to save him from the persecution. Yes," she added as the group frowned in unison, "Fiyero was a part of the witch hunters. So we escaped into the desert, and eventually we found the tribe, and we were immediately accepted as members."

There was a pause. "Wolf claw wonders at spending such a long time in the desert."

"Long?"

"Yes," said Halaro, catching on. "Lady Glinda arrived at the Paniwawa encampment ten days after the departure of the Wizard."

Glinda and Elphaba glanced sideways at each other, partially grasping what they were implying, but not entirely.

"That would mean you were in the desert for two full weeks, since she didn't see you during her visit. How did you manage it?"

"Ah. You see… well, Fiyero hunted for us, and I gathered what I could, I magicked us a meal from time to time…"

It was that "m" word, the taboo subject, which broke whatever strains of trust that had developed. Immediately the men crossed their arms and took a step back. Glinda's smile slid off her face like jelly. "Anyway, I'm sure the rest of Oz will be ecstatic to know that she lives, don't you agree?" This was met with stony silence. Glinda gulped. "What I mean to say is, maybe we could have her back to the Emerald City? She could make a speech and explain herself better than I could."

Arden frowned. "Now? We take her back now?"

"Yes, my thinking entirely!" Glinda clapped her hands and forced a laugh. "I'm so glad you agree with me!"

"Glinda!" Elphaba rose from her perch on the bed. "Can we have a word?"

"Of – of course," Glinda stammered. "Gentlemen, would you excuse us for a moment?"

The tent flap swung shut, and Elphaba turned Glinda to face her. "What do you have against giving me a heads-up about things like this?"

"I'm sorry…" Glinda was flustered, and, as with every time Glinda became frantic, Elphaba caught a glimpse of the overly dramatic teenager Glinda had been. "I thought you might have guessed!"

"Well, who said I wanted to go?"

Glinda was struck dumb. "You don't want to go?"

"Did I say I don't want to go? Maybe I do, maybe I don't. Either way, it's my decision, and you cannot put me on the spot like that."

"Please, Elphaba." Glinda put on a horrid, anguished face and began to scream in a grating, agitated voice. "I'm MELTING! I'm MELTING! Oh, what a world!" She lowered herself onto the floor until she was surrounded by a heap of skirt, obviously in imitation of Elphaba's ruse. "How's that for putting someone on the spot?"

"That's not funny, Glinda."

"Believe me, I know how unfunny it is. Here…" Glinda stood and clasped Elphaba's two hands in her own. "Listen to me very carefully. I am asking you, Elphaba Tiggular, if you would like to come back to the Emerald City."

"And I am telling you, Lady Glinda Upland of the Arduennas, Leader of the Land of Oz, Good Witch of the North, etc. (Glinda blushed), that I need time to make this huge, enormous, gargantuan decision."

"Do you personally want to?"

"It doesn't matter what I want. I have all these questions to ask. I'm a mother; I have a family. Can Fiyero manage with Fexo for however long I stay away?"

"They can come too."

"Fexo can't make the trip."

"Well, if not for all that, then, do you want to go?"

Elphaba shifted uncomfortably. Then, she smiled. "You know, I have a baby. You have to meet him!" She grabbed Glinda's hand and pulled her almost violently from the tent.

I'd say that was better, wouldn't you agree?

One more thing: I only got 2 reviews on the last chapter, so THANK YOU danderson and She Who Shall Go Nameless! This chapter is dedicated to you.