Chapter 14 – Cruel Intentions
As the festivities in the Great Hall continued on, lips gleefully spreading word of the Marauder's latest prank, Artemis felt completely numb. She had thought about racing straight up to Gryffindor Tower, but she knew that the girls would soon be back up in the dorm, and she had no desire to be near them or their jeers. She thought about her safe haven up in the Astronomy Tower, where she had watched stars shoot by and had cleared her mind endless amounts of time. That spot was ruined now as well; she had told Remus about it, surely he had mentioned it to the others. That spot wasn't safe anymore. Nothing was safe anymore. So she walked where she knew no one would find her, where no one would bother her.
Well, not exactly.
"Ooh, something awful must have happened to you!" squeaked Moaning Myrtle, floating near the top of the sinks, forever a young girl with pigtails and round glasses that resembled James Potter's. "I can tell, I'm very good at sensing absolute depression."
Artemis wasn't listening to Myrtle though. She sat in a stall, with the door closed, and rested her head against the wall. She was very tired. It would be foolish to say that Artemis had never felt this type of anguish before. She had experienced this stabbing pain in his chest once, and that was her summer after first year. She had hoped above all hopes that her family would still care, and embrace her. She had instead met opposition and disappointment. Artemis never thought she'd feel this way about any other subject ever again. Nothing was worse than losing one's family.
And yet, Artemis felt like she had just lost a limb. She stared blankly at the grimy stall walls, but in her mind, she thought of every moment spent with Remus. He had been so nice to her, he had seemed interested in her, always asking questions and getting her to open up.
'Naturally, it was all just part of the game,' she thought sadly, her realization stinging her deeply. Why else would he care to know about her? He had been looking for a weakness, something to use against her when the Marauder's staged their ambush. Still, she had not expected the nature of their attack.
No doubt she had been slipped Vertiaserum, she couldn't think of anything else that would have gotten her to openly admit those private things about herself. Her face flushed and burned red at the fact that she had spoken about her undergarments, the fact that she had never been kissed, her thoughts on Remus…
Her eyes narrowed as her heart still sped up at the mere thought of him. She hated herself for being so vulnerable, for not seeing the trap she had fallen into. But worse, she hated herself more for falling for the Marauder himself. She had allowed herself to become smitten with him, and because of this, his betrayal wounded her even more.
Sighing, Artemis closed her eyes. She was a mess, and she knew that this situation would never get better. When Artemis looked to her future outside of Hogwarts, she saw nothing but more of what she had already received. Her name alone would scare off any future employers. She had always hoped for a spot at St. Mungo's, but when she tried to imagine herself as a Healer, all she saw were the myriad of memories of Hogwarts students refusing to take a potion in the Hospital Wing if Artemis brewed it, or yelling that she would only be poisoning or cursing them, making it worse. How do you put your health and trust into a monster like her? Into someone as evil and vile as everyone made her out to be? The saddest part is that even her family name would get her nowhere. Any connections she would have had with her family were lost years ago. Everyone knew that her name was inches away from being burnt out of the family tree. She was surprised that her family even allowed her to come home for the summers anymore.
No, Artemis didn't truly have a home anymore. Everywhere she went, people glared at her, people despised her. And now, people were out to humiliate her further. It just didn't seem worth it anymore. What did life have to offer her?
After what seemed like a lifetime, Artemis rose, and exited the stall. Myrtle had vanished down a pipe ages before, already bored with Artemis' misery. Moving towards the door, Artemis saw the nearly full moon make its way out from behind a cloud and light up the dingy unused bathroom. Pausing, Artemis stared at the moon, suddenly remembering the only other being on campus that could understand how she felt. Artemis chuckled darkly, realizing that even the werewolf had it better. No one knew of its affliction, no one judged it harshly because it remained a mystery to all. The werewolf got to walk the castles without a target painted on his or her back, free from all of the torment that Artemis had faced. It was hidden from all hatred, at least until it entered the working world and would be forced to reveal itself to society. Until then, the werewolf was just another student, freely walking the halls of Hogwarts.
Artemis hoped beyond all hope that the werewolf would have a future brighter than any future ahead of her. It was in that moment that Artemis knew what she wanted to do, and how she would do it. She obviously had no hope in this world anymore, no rope to grab onto. She was at rock bottom with no way to get back up the hole she had dug for herself.
So, she was decided, it would end. She would put an end to her life, and to all of the pain that she had brought upon herself.
Hogwarts was all a flutter the next morning with the holiday ahead. Students lugged her trunks and belongings down to grounds, heading towards Hogsmeade station and to the Hogwarts Express, with talks of presents and family ahead of them. The snow that fell made the day look like something out of a card, a beautiful setting for the journey home. Nearly every student on Hogwarts grounds had plans to go home, and by the afternoon, Artemis was able to return to Gryffindor Tower and find her dorm room completely empty. Lily, Dorcas, and Emmeline obviously had a joyous holiday ahead of them; Artemis remembered them discussing all that they would do over the vacation away from the castle. Lying in her bed, Artemis wondered if they would notice her absence when they returned.
A stairway across, Remus Lupin was lying in his four poster bed, his brow furrowed. Normally he would be taking the Hogwarts Express home with the others, but seeing as how this year the full moon cycle landed on that night, he would wait to make his transformation in the Shrieking Shack, and then return home as soon as he had recovered. He knew how much it worried his mother when he made his transformations at home, and Dumbledore had agreed to help him make the proper arrangements. The rest of the Marauders had left that morning, with promises from James and Sirius that they would Apparate into Hogsmeade Village and join him that night without fail. Peter had not passed his Apparation test and therefore would be spending his night at home without them.
Remus had still been livid the previous night when he finally returned back to the dorm, his intended present from Artemis tucked within his robes away from the others. As he had expected, the others were still up, and had bombarded him with an endless amount of apologies. Remus had no desire to hear it; he believed them when they said they were sorry, but it didn't mean that he forgave their actions.
"Are we really going to let her come between us like this?" Sirius had asked with an imploring voice, his left eye bruised and purple from the punch he had received earlier that night. "After everything, this one girl is going to do this to us?"
Sirius was of course right. While what they had done to Artemis was wrong, and while it pained him deeply to see how it had affected her, Remus knew that his mates felt terrible. And they had been there for him since the moment they met him. They had taken him in, and made him feel like he was worth something again. It wasn't often that a werewolf found any friends at all, anyone to understand and accept him. He could never truly turn them away.
"It still wasn't right what you did, okay?" Remus had finally said to Sirius and the other, taking his robes off and readying himself for bed. "I know that you did it because you were looking out for me, and you thought she was trying to use me or something. But honestly, you lot have to start thinking things out and realizing the consequences of our actions. You barely even knew Artemis, you only knew what you had to go by from first year, and you just assumed the worst. How does that make us any better than the Slytherins?"
"We're nothing like them!" Peter spoke up, his mousy eyes looking insulted.
"Aren't we though?" Remus retorted, crossing his arms. "They target Muggleborns for something that their parents have them believing. Without even getting to know any of them, they just assume that Muggleborns are filth, hence why they get picked on. We just assume that Artemis is a right bitch just because she said some things in first year? Did no one pick up on the fact that she never said anything to us again? That her brother and his mates pick on her endlessly? Why would a Slytherin pick on one of their own? They even like Snape, so what reason would they have to hate Artemis?
"Maybe think your plot out next time, eh?" Remus continued, settling down, his amber eyes gazing out at them, troubled like never before. "Before you end up hurting someone the way you've hurt her."
The boys had of course continued their apologies late into the night, and eventually Remus gave in to their words wanting to just get some sleep. He just hoped his speech had sunk in and that maybe, just maybe, he could figure out a way to make things up to Artemis.
Now, as he lay in his bed thinking over his impending transformation, he thought back to Artemis' words about how she felt on the werewolf on campus. The irony of her statement that she felt the werewolf was the only person she probably could ever truly be friends with, when she unbeknownst to her, she was running away from the werewolf himself. It was cruel, what the others had done to her, and that after everything they had been through, she no longer trusted him. Remus wasn't sure where their friendship had been going, and hearing Artemis truthfully saying that she had feelings for him muddled up his mind even more. All he knew was that he had treasured it, and that he wanted it back.
Sitting up, Remus vowed one thing. He would fix things with Artemis. He didn't know how, but after that night's full moon, he would do everything in his power to get back into her good graces.
Nightfall came swiftly that night, Artemis counting the seconds until it reached midnight. Her heart was beating at its normal rate, and she wondered how many beats it would have until it finally stopped. She had packed up all of her things neatly so that when they had to clean out her side of the dorm, it wouldn't be too difficult. She had thought about writing out a note of explanation, but then realized that no one would care to read it anyway, so she didn't even bother.
Pulling on her cloak, Artemis surveyed her room, thinking over all of the bad memories she had here. She didn't mind that she was leaving it all behind. Pulling her wand out of her pocket, Artemis examined it. She remembered the exciting day when she and Apollo had gone to Ollivander's to get their wands. She remembered the spooky way Ollivander himself went about his business, and how it had felt to grasp onto the wand that would in turn choose her. Ollivander had informed her it was made of hawthorn, 12 inches long with a phoenix tail feather core. She was promised excellent performance in Transfiguration, and had indeed seen such results.
With a heavy heart, she delicately set her wand down on the antique wooden night stand, where she had placed it every night for six years. She wouldn't be needing it anymore.
Making her way down the staircase into the empty common room, Artemis didn't even bother looking around. She would not miss this place, how could she? Exiting the portrait hole, she found that this nighttime stroll through Hogwarts halls would be easier than any time previous. Over the holidays, even Filch knew that there were barely any students left, and did not stroll the corridors as he usually did during term. Artemis' feet moved automatically, as though she had programed this night in her mind. She was on autopilot, and there was no going back.
It was difficult to open the entrance hall doors, with how ominously tall they were, her tiny hands pushing against the sturdy ancient wood. But as the cold winter air brushed against her face, she knew that she was nearly there.
She moved quietly through the snow, ignoring how the wind bit at her face and how her hair flowed wildly behind her. She kept moving, her mind racing at every memory at Hogwarts; every glare she had felt against her back; every cold shoulder; every time that one of her brother's friends at cornered her; back to her first day, how unsure she had felt; how she had thought that maybe, just maybe she could befriend those people; she thought about her Howler; about every single time she had found herself alone and crying for seemingly no reason; she thought about Sirius Black and his hatred towards her; to James Potter, and how he had thrown her off of him in disgust; to the first day of the year when she had been taken to the hospital wing in Remus Lupin's arms…
It hurt to think about Remus. Every thought about her time at Hogwarts or home was filled with pain, but above all things was Remus. As she walked past Hagrid's hut and closer to the Forbidden Forest, she couldn't stop her heart from racing as she thought of him. His eyes had made her feel warmer than anything else in this world. He had always reassured her, spoken so kindly, always there, always offering his hand, even on that very first day.
She didn't want to remember Remus though; she didn't want to think about him at all. She wanted everything behind her, and only thought now towards her future. This future that she had set out for herself was brighter than anything else that she could have reached if she had stayed. She had made up her mind, and this was it. She had been obsessed with the werewolf since the moment that she knew of its existence. And while she regretted that she would never find out who he or she was in their human form, she was still pleased that they would meet in some way. Because every step she took into the forest was a step closer to the wolf. And Artemis knew that the second it saw her, the second her scent entered its nostrils, it would kill her, and finally end it all.
As that thought crossed her mind, she felt her heart beating fiercely in her chest. It seemed to know its beats were numbered and soon would come to a deafening halt. Artemis heard a crackling of branches around her, causing her to stop in her track. She wondered what creature was near her, when suddenly a loud howl broke through the night air, raising the hairs on the back of Artemis' neck. This was it. Standing there in the snow, Artemis clenched and unclenched her hands, waiting for the moment to come. The rustling got closer and closer, from directly ahead of her, and Artemis knew she only had seconds left.
Bum bum. Bum bum. Bum bum.
Her heart was racing, every molecule in her body, every instinct telling her to run, that she wasn't safe. But her legs stayed glued to the spot, her face set.
Bum bum. Bum bum. Bum b-
Suddenly, another howl cut through the air, sickeningly close, and before Artemis could count another heartbeat, out of the tree burst the creature she had been watching for months. The werewolf was bigger than expected, with short hair that shone in the moonlight and snow. It bared its monstrous teeth to her, growling menacingly. Staring at it, Artemis felt no fear. She was ready.
"Come on," she murmured to herself, her words unable to be heard above the wind. "Come at me."
The werewolf stared her down, sniffing the air as though to make sure this was a human. It recognized this human, it had seen her before, but he had never smelled her. Her scent filled its lungs, and with another breath, it howled once more, preparing to pounce on its prey…
"Come at me! Kill me already!" screamed Artemis, as she heard more rustling in the trees all around her. The werewolf launched its self at her, and she closed her eyes waiting for impact. She waited, before hearing chaos breaking out. She felt something jump over her, and heard it make contact with the werewolf, two growls filling the night air. Before she could open her eyes to see what had attacked the werewolf, however, she suddenly felt the wind knocked out of her as something incredibly large and warm rammed into her side. Artemis was thrown violently aside and felt her head make contact with something before everything cut to black.