Amy stands in line at the car rental inside the airport. Mary offered to pick them up but the thought of being at Mary's mercy for an entire week without means of escape is too much for her. Sheldon is walking around the lobby bouncing both boys in his arms as they shriek and wiggle. They are all all grumpy and exhausted from travel. Even if the flight was not long travelling with two infants is never fun. Sheldon she can tell is starting to get annoyed as he makes frantic shushing noises.
Soon Amy has the keys to their car and they go to grab their bags. Traveling with two infants also means not being able to pack light. They quickly fill a cart with all their belongings that they wheel out to the rented sedan.
"I still don't see why we could not just have my mother pick us up." Sheldon huffs after everything is loaded and the boys are strapped in,
"We discussed this. Do you really want to have to bend to all your mother's wishes and whims? Be stuck in the house unless she wants to take us someplace? We will be here a week I like my independence. Besides now you can show me some of the places you knew growing up."
"I have no fond memories of any place here." Sheldon sighs as they pull out onto the highway. " Well except for my memaw's house, and this pond we used to go to as kids. Oh and there is this ice cream place that has a statue of a T-rex eating an ice cream cone outside that the boys might like."
"See there are some fond memories." Amy says looking over at him and smiling.
"Few and far between, a week in Texas is fairly intolerable. I thought we were just coming for this blasted family reunion on saturday."
"If we are going to do the trip then we are going to do it right. Please Sheldon I don't have a lot of family. I grew up feeling very isolated. I would like the boys to know their extended family."
"I grew up with plenty of family and still felt isolated. So what does that tell you?"
"That you isolated yourself. Your mother and sister have always been so warm and welcoming to me. I just want the boys to know their grandma and their aunt, and their great grandma."
"Memaw says just to keep calling her Memaw that great grandma just sounds too old."
"See you want the boys to know their Memaw!" Amy says and Sheldon looks over at her and smiles for the frst time since touching down in Texas.
"The boys will love Memaw. I just wish they could have met Pop too. And my dad... he would have been proud of me for having boys. He always said only virile men are able to have sons."
"You are very virile." Amy assures him patting his leg. He takes her and at first and then drops it and looks at her shocked.
"Hands on ten and two. You are driving unfamiliar territory." Sheldon says and Amy snaps her hand way.
"GPS on my phone says we are only about thirty minutes away. You ready?"
"No." he says shortly and then he stares out the window pensively. "Just prepare yourself my family... they can be a little...much..."
"I think I can handle them. What do you mean by much?"
"Gregarious, overbearing, overly affectionate,extremely touchy." he lists off.
"So the opposite of you?"
"Exactly."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Amy pulls the rented car into the driveway of Mary Cooper's house and his met with deafening screams. Three woman of three generations descend on the car as soon as it is parked. A tall steel haired older woman leading the charge. She is broad and built sturdy wearing a pink t-shirt that says "Memaws know best." Amy had been picturing a tiny frail old woman. There was nothing frail about this woman at all. She rattles the handle on the back door and taps on the window. Amy unlocks it and she pulls it open and pops her head in.
"I am not waiting a minute longer I am grabbing me a baby!" she says as she unbuckles Elliott form his car seat and pulls him out.
"Neither am I!" Missy says as she opens the other door and pulls out George.
"Hello everyone good to see you." Sheldon says pointedly as he gets out of the car. Amy gets out too and surveys the scene. Memaw is wasting no time cooing over the baby in her hands and Mary
"Yeah yeah.. good to see you too big bro."
"Oh honey!Don't you go acting jealous! I have seen plenty of you over the years. But this is the first time I have laid eyes on these beautiful baby boys!" Memaw says swinging Elliot up over her head and blowing bubbles on his belly. Elliott responds by giggling wildly and when she pulls him back down to her face he grabs her face and pats her cheeks.
"More! Funny!" he gurgles and Memaw is taken aback.
"Shelly, he is talking even quicker than you were. If they got half the brains yo did as a child you are in for a lick of trouble."
"They have double the brains I had given their mother. I look forward to all the trouble they can bring. Perhaps growing up in an intellectual environment will help stem some of the more problematic behaviors I exhibited as a child."
"I hope so baby! Because if you got two geniuses plotting to power Pasadena from a shed... Hoo boy!" Memaw laughs swinging Elliott on her hip.
"Are you as smart as your brother." Missy asks George in a baby voice tickling his belly. he looks at her and the corners of his mouth turn down and he begins to cry.
"What did I do?" Missy as jiggling him up and down.
"He does not like being talked to like a baby. Also you're manhandling him." Sheldon says attempting to take George out of her hands but she swings away from him. Slinging George over her shoulder and sprinting away from him.
"Missy this is not some cabbage patch doll I took from your room! This is my child Missy!" Sheldon says through clenched teeth chasing after her. George spies his father chasing them as he peers over her shoulder and stops crying and starts giggling.
"See he likes it!" Missy says swinging him back up and blowing bubbles on his belly making him squeal in delight. "You love your Auntie Missy don't you!"
"Missy!" he squeals.
"Yes Missy!" she says swinging him back up again.
"Missy down!" he says and Missy puts him on her hip.
"Okay you smart little booger no more swinging you around."
"Alright children let's go on inside. Me and memaw have been cooking up a storm waiting for ya'll to come." Mary says waving at them to come into the house. "Hope ya'll brought your appetites."
"Oh you did not have to go to the trouble." Amy begins but Mary waves her off.
"Sugar it was no trouble! We don't ever get to cook for a big family no more it was our pleasure." Mary says.
"Did you make fried chicken?" Sheldon asks.
"Honey you know it!" Memaw says.
"And pecan pie?" he asks eagerly.
"And biscuits, and collards, and potato salad, and.."
"Peach cobbler?"
"Yes sugar!" Mary says patting him on the back.
"Missy did not help cook did she?" Sheldon asks wearily.
"Hey! I can cook!" Missy says affronted. "Yes she can! Auntie Missy can cook." she tells George walking into the kitchen.
"Yes you can honey!" Mary calls to her but then she intones to Amy and Sheldon under her breath. "Don't eat the hoe is the only thing she touched."
They walk into the kitchen and find the table spread with enough food for twice the amount of people present in the room. The table is so laden with dishes and plates there is nowhere to sit.
"Are there more people coming?" Amy asks confused. There is enough food on the table to feed an entire football team.
"No honey just us and..."
"Little bro!" Amy hears a voice boom from the hall. "Sorry I was not on the porch waiting for you like these guys. Games on though! You remember how it was." Bellows a man who has to be Sheldon's brother. Only he looks nothing like him at all . He is about four inches taller and easily two hundred pounds heavier. Wearing a Cowboys football jersey stretched over his large belly.
"Yes football is your lord and master. Don't let my arrival disturb you. Please go back to watching your game." Sheldon says tightly.
"And miss a chance to talk with my favorite brother and my new sister! Besides it is half time and the Cowboys are up 37 to 10 we got this in the bag."
"Don't you get all cocky! Anything could happen in the second half. Saying something like that could throw off their game! Memaw admonishes.
"God Memaw you superstitious old woman! I ain't going to throw off the Cowboys juju!" George says exasperatedly sitting at the table and grabbing a chicken leg. Which Memaw snatches from his hand before he can take a bite.
"First! We do not take the lord's name in vain in the house! Second don't you be using those voodoo terms on me! Lastly you know we don't eat until we have said grace you blooming heathen!" she wails smacking him with the chicken leg.
"Violent old hag!" George says teasing and throwing a roll at her.
"Alright!" Mary says before a full on food fight can occur. "Everyone calm down and sit down! What examples are we setting for these babies!" Mary says shaking her head. "Now Amy honey I was able to find Sheldon and Missy's old high chairs! Is'nt that wonderful?" Mary says gesturing to two rickity looking wooden highchairs.
"Pop made those with his own hands." Memaw tells her getting Misty eyed. "He would be plum tickled to see the next generation using them. Amy had been about to tell her there was no way she was putting her child in some unsafe thing like that. They were from the deep eighties and for all she knew they were painted with lead paint. However she did not want to be THAT mom. If she made a fuss about the high chairs then Mary and Memaw would probably tell her she was being ridiculous.
"That is wonderful." She says as Memaw plops Elliott inside his chair. She cringes when she realizes there were not even straps inside. Amy says a silent prayer that they do not wiggle themselves onto the floor and crack their heads open. "They are not eating much solid food yet however." Amy says before they can try and feed them.
"Honey! George Jr. was eating chicken legs at six months old. This boys can eat a little food darling." Mary tells her. Before Amy can respond that she does not think that George Jr. Is the prime example of healthy eating habits Memaw grabs her hand and bows her head.
"Let us pray! Oh dear lord thank you for the food you have provided us today and may it nourish our bodies and our souls. Lord we thank you for the safe journey of Sheldon and his new wife Amy and their beautiful boys. Lord may you forgive them for having them boys out of wedlock for they have fixed the sin now. May you bless their union and shine your light upon them. In your name we pray Amen!"
"Amen!" everyone one around the says and they begin to pile their plates with food.
"Now Shelly I know how much you love the pot liquor on the collards! George you stay away from that spoon and let me get Shelly a scoop." Memaw says heaping Sheldon's plate with greens.
"That ain't fair why does Shelly always get the pot liquor!" George pouts.
"Cuz' Shelly needs fattening up!" Memaw tells him.
"The boy has needed fattening up his whole life! He ain't ever going to be fat!" George grouses continuing to pile his plate with an impressi amount of food. " So Shelly which one of the boys is named after me? And how can you tell them apart?" George asks taking a bite of biscuit.
"Neither of them are named after YOU." Sheldon says rolling his eyes. "They are both named after our late father's."
"The one in the yellow is Elliott and the one in the orange is George." Amy tells him. "You can tell them apart my personality or if you look closely Elliott has a freckle underneath his left eye that George does not."
"Well they both look like clones of you Sheldon." George says
"Yes they are identical twins." Sheldon tells him rolling his eyes.
"I don't know why you always have to be so damn rude to me." George says glaring at him.
"I am not being rude I am simply stating facts." Sheldon says.
"Forget I thought maybe now that you had a wife and kids you might be normal. You ain't never going to be normal now are you?" George tells him.
"Now boys! Stop fighting! This why Shelly never comes and visits George now you leave him alone!" Mary wails. "And Shelly George is just trying to talk to you! Stop being so prickly and let your brother talk to you!"
"Sorry mother." they both grumble.
"This food is wonderful. I will have to get the recipe from you guys. I love to cook."
"Have you tried one of my hoecakes Amy?" Missy asks holding out a plate of misshapen blackened blobs.
"Umm no let me try one." Amy says reaching out nervously.
"Amy don't wanna die! Rule number one in this house never eat Missy's cooking." George tells her laughing loudly. Then blinking as a hoecake hits him upside the head. "Watch it those things could be weaponized!"
"Momma! Tell him to stop being mean!" Missy says
"Now George your sister cooks just fine. No one has died from it yet." Memaw says winking.
"So ya'll ready for your big wedding on Saturday?" George asks Amy.
"Oh we already got married a few weeks ago." Amy tells him confused. George ignores the head shakes and looks from the other woman around the table and plows on.
"No, Mamma and Memaw are planning ou a proper wedding at the church so they can get pictures and see you in your wedding dress, and rub it in everyone's face that Shelly is married to a woman."
"Mother! You said we were having a family reunion." Sheldon says looking at her.
"Too be fair sweetie I never used those exact words. I just said the whole family would be here ... and they will be... for your wedding.." Mary says hastily taking a bite of food,
"What was wrong with our real wedding? We got married like you wanted us too!"
"Yes honey but you eloped! I am not getting any younger honey and I want to see one of my grand young'uns have a proper wedding." Memaw tells him.
"You can not tell me that you were not hankering for a proper wedding Amy!" Mary asks and all eyes turn towards Amy for her reaction, Just like with the rickety high chairs she has a choice to make. She can get upset at the presumptuousness of it all. Tell them that there is no way she is getting married on their terms in a surprise wedding ceremony. Or she can embrace that these women just want the best for her. That they deserved a real wedding as much as she had wanted on. That they were going to make it happen for her.
"I think it sounds wonderful." Amy says and Sheldon looks at her shocked.
"Not even in Texas a whole day and you have gone insane!" Sheldon says getting up from the table and walking away.
"Let me go talk to him ." Amy says getting up and following Sheldon.
"I like her." Memaw says looking at Amy's retreating back.
"She is perfect for our Shelly I told you!" Mary says spooning a bit of peach cobbler into the waiting mouth of Elliott. Who squeaks and bangs his chubby fists on the tray of his high chair.
"You think she will be able to convince him to do it?" Missy asks.
"Honey I do not think there is a thing in the world your brother would not do or that girl." Mary says.
"Who would have thought our Shelly would end up so happy?" Memaw asks feeding George a bite of food.
"Yeah yeah... Sheldon is perfect and his wife is too. If he ain't coming back can I have his collards?" George asks