Fourteen

Sleep that night didn't come easy. For anyone.

Rose unwrapped Jack's hand from around hers. She didn't disturb him, for he was a heavy sleeper. He seemed peaceful. She sighed, as she shrugged from his grip and pulled back the bedcovers. As she stood, her dress fell to the floor in its full length and she felt the chill of the cool night. She trod around the floor for her shoes and stepped into Jack's slippers as she found them whilst stumbling about. The room was light enough for her to make her way in the dark into the bar area. It was warmer in there from the fire.

It was different at night, a little eerie. The wooden floor creaked beneath her feet. She wondered just how old the building was and how many owners it had seen. It was a beautiful space but she couldn't help but feel Tony neglected it, from his own alcohol problem. Her mind was heavy as she wondered around the bar area, her feet creaking the wood as she went. The fire crackled, it was wonderfully warm. Pulling a rickety chair from behind a table, she placed it in front of the fire upon the worn rug and sat there, tucking her hair away from her face. As the flames of the fire danced, she couldn't help but watch them. It seemed to represent her in some way.

Oh, Jack. They had come together with the same dreams so many years ago. They seemed to complete each other, their minds both in the same place at the same time. Her heart filled with love when she thought of him. He had completely turned her life around in every way and for that she would be eternally grateful for the lessons which he had taught her, the memories ingrained in her mind and the way of life she now lived.

Her life before him had been very empty and she spoke it of frequently when he asked of such things. When she asked him a question or two about his life prior to his trip to Europe, he seemed to hesitate as though something had hurt him back then and then, they had lost each other. That had been the hardest part. The thing which had haunted her for so long yet, the part which had kept her going. She had lived in his honour. She had lived knowing that this had been what he had told her to do; she had kept the promise.

Her eyes felt heavy, she hadn't slept enough and they began to sting. She had dreamt of Aishe but failed to remember what they were about. Her stomach was churning, a reminder of both that she hadn't eaten the day before and that she was, in a way, dreading the next few months. She would see Jack become a father to a child that wasn't hers. She would love it, she knew that already.

Tony's snores from the room opposite hers and Jack's disturbed her thoughts. Standing from the chair, she went to the window and glanced out at the dark field. It was too dark to see anything out there except the wind blowing the trees. She moved away quickly, finding the notion of staring into complete darkness very uneasy. The next thing she remembered it was light and she was in Jack's bed.

Rose opened one eye and then the other. She must have found her way back to bed after waking up at such an early hour. Her hands searched beneath the blanket and she pulled them out.

Jack pulled on a clean shirt and Rose was momentarily distracted by his bare torso.

''Morning.'' She leant forward, putting his knee on the bed and kissed her cheek just once.

''Good morning,'' she smiled. For some reason, she felt fresher than she had the night before. All of the worry and stress seemed to have eased away. They heard a bang from the bar and glanced at the other.

''Well, Tony's up before midday for the first time since he was born!''

Rose laughed as she pulled herself out of bed. She realised she had no change of clothes and her dress was rumpled from the night before. Her hair was dishevelled and she wanted nothing more than to brush her teeth.

''Perhaps he needs a drink!'' Rose teased, raising her eyebrows. ''I do wish I had more clothes.''

She felt dirty having not taken a bath since the morning before and not changed her clothes but this was something she would have had to grow used to if her and Jack had lived the life they wanted when she was seventeen. She shook the thought from her mind knowing it wasn't something they should consider.

''Don't worry. We will get you home to pick some stuff up.''

''Yes.''

They still hadn't discussed what their next steps would be, but for today they had each other and the whole day to figure out what would happen next. All she knew was that having slept beside Jack in a bed for the first time, she felt safe and loved. She didn't want to leave that place. Sharing a bed was intimate, their bodies had found the other whilst curled beneath the sheets and leaving that place wasn't easy.

She quickly attempted to neaten her hair.

''Come on, let's get you home for some clothes.''

Rose followed Jack out of his bedroom door and into the bar. Her mind wasn't as heavy as the night before. The first thing which she noticed was that the fire had gone out. She rubbed her arms against the chill.

Tony was sat, as predicted, as his usual table nursing what appeared to be whisky. A half empty bottle sat on the wooden desk in front of him. Music played from the gramophone and Jack narrowed his eyes at his friend.

''Rough night, man?''

Tony barely even registered their presence until he spoke. His body was stiff and appeared heavy. His blurred eyes struggled to focus on anything other than the cracks in the table. When he did manage to lift his gaze, it was heavy.

''You-you don't know…''

Tony's eyes were bloodshot, his hands shaking. This, being something, Jack had never seen Tony like in the years they had known each other. Jack stepped closer to him, reaching out a hand to place upon his friend's shoulder.

''Tony, what's the matter?''

He shook his head and placed his head in his hands. Rose watched him, she feared he needed medical attention from how much he had drunk in such a short space of time. She clung to the side of the bar feeling how the light mood had switched once more. Her heart sank, having the inkling that their lives would be changing again. This time, she didn't have a good feeling.

''You-you haven't heard?'' He stammered, and Jack didn't know if it was from the drink or his emotional state. Jack came to kneel beside Tony, as though he was an upset child.

Jack shook his head. ''No, Rose and I have been asleep until just now.''

Tony raised his head at the mention of Rose and stiffly turned his neck to acknowledge her through blurred vision. He turned back to Jack who placed his hand on top of Tony's. ''What's wrong, buddy?''

''It's-Aishe,'' he managed, he raised his head to meet Jack's eyes and it was then his body ran cold, for he had never seen such pain flash through a man's eyes, ''she's dead.''

Jack felt his stomach sink, further and further as though he was falling from the top of the Ferris wheel at great height. He waited for a crash, but there wasn't one and so he kept on falling. Silence came for a moment or two but the words rattled around in Jack's head. He got to his feet but feared his weight couldn't be lifted by his own legs. Rose started towards the table where they sat, her heels against the wood dragged Jack from his own thoughts.

''Dead?'' He repeated in a harsh whisper. Jack turned to Rose, her eyes widened from the shock of the news.

''For certain?''

Tony nodded. ''A policeman came by, he delivered the news.'' Tony sobbed into his own hands. ''They had found her body out by the lake.''

''The lake?''

All Jack could do was repeat the words. They couldn't sink in, they couldn't. She was carrying his baby! Aishe had ran from him...carrying his child.

Rose placed her hands-on Jack's face to calm him, but he wafted her away. She recoiled, hurt by his actions.

''You tried to find her, Jack. You didn't know where she was.''

Tony downed the rest of his whisky, it didn't even burn any more. ''The best part is that she had injected herself with some 'gypsy' shit. They found abortion needles with her body.''

A strangled moan was heard and it was then, Jack realised that it had come from his own mouth. His body trembled to the point where he felt he would crumble right there beneath his own weight. Rose quickly grasped onto his arm and settled him so that was he was sat on a chair, beside Tony.

''Jack-'' Rose couldn't even speak, through her own swollen throat.

She had gone through with the abortion without his permission and that was her cause of death? Where would she have even got such a thing? Rage lingered in his stomach but he didn't have any energy to act on it.

Tony shook his head as he pumped his fist against the table.

''She must have thought she was pregnant but they took her to the hospital and there wasn't no sign of a baby having ever been inside her.''

Jack placed his head in his hands, he thought he was going to explode, he stood from the wooden chair, kicking it backwards to allow some anger to vent out it exploded into three or four planks of wood scattering around the bar.

''Jack!''

Rose came to him but he was passed any state she had seen him in. The anger in his face was beyond anything which she had ever seen and yet, she didn't fear him.

''She died for nothing! She couldn't see her own future and this was why! She didn't have a future because she killed herself!''

''Jack!''

''No!'' He paced heavily, his body weakened and the floor bouncing under his feet. The walls were coming in around him. Suffocating...she was gone...Aishe was gone. Their child had never even existed. She was gone for nothing.

His legs finally gave way beneath him and he crumpled to the floor. The clench in his stomach was painful, knotting and twisting...

Tony's body was numb and even the liquor wasn't destroying the ache. Jack stood from the floor as best as he could, clutching his ribs. His eyes came to Rose, she was watching him with such hopelessness that she stepped away. There was nothing she could do to console him and nothing he could do for Tony.

Aishe was gone and that was something which Jack knew he was the one to blame for.

Aishe's words came to Rose. Turbulent times were coming. How much had happened in the past week.

Jack straightened his back. ''I need to get out of here.''

He started for the door. Rose tried to step in front of it but she was too late. He had gone, running from her as though she was the enemy. He ran across the field, just as Aishe had done the night before, with such determination and driven with such a force that she believed she had to abort the child within her. The child which didn't even exist.

Rose watched him go; she wanted to sob for Jack, for the loss of life of a young woman who didn't deserve such a thing. She watched as Jack ran, he was almost out of sight. He moved with a means and purpose.

What could she do? She couldn't run after him for she knew she could never catch up. The field was empty, just how she felt herself. There were so many unanswered questions. She couldn't cry for a woman she barely knew and yet, who had predicted her future so clearly and yet she couldn't see into her own. Had it been a gift or a bad omen?

The day had started out just like she had hoped under such circumstances. She had smiled this morning; Jack had smiled too. She walked back to the bar, her feet dragging one by one as her own body now felt heavy. She went inside to see Tony had fallen asleep with his head in his hands sat at the table. Quietly, she closed the door behind her and changed the sign to 'closed.' He would need to mourn her, they all would.

As for Rose, she didn't know what her future held as she took slow and hesitant steps to the only place which she knew. Home to Clara.