Part 25
Carolina shoved her beach towel to the bottom of her duffel bag as York came into the room, already dressed in white swim trunks and a loose-fitting yellow t-shirt. "Almost ready, hon?" he asked, kissing her on the cheek.
She nodded, tossing in a bottle of sunscreen and a book before she zipped the bag shut. "Yeah, I think so. Are we coming back tonight, or are we doing a whole weekend?"
"I think it's just for the day. Maine apparently had plans for him and North for something on Sunday, so we're just going to the local beach instead of up the coast."
"Sounds good. Are we all carpooling?"
"You and I are in one car, and Wash is with North and Maine," he replied. "I tried to invite Dakota and CT, but they said 'it's too hot to go swimming,' which I quote verbatim. Seriously."
She rolled her eyes. "Good god. Okay, let's get going then, I want to get there before a zillion kids do."
"Let's go!" York grabbed her arm and they left the apartment, waving goodbye to Epsilon, who mewed sadly from the couch.
(b)
"Okay, North said they'd be near the south end of the—oh, there they are!" York waved at North and Maine as they trudged across the sand, Carolina bitching that it was, indeed, too hot outside.
"Hey!" North greeted, coming over to hug Carolina after she set down her bag in the sand. "Glad we got here before it got too crowded."
A few families and groups of friends were scattered across the sand, but it wasn't as bad as if they'd come on a weekend. Carolina unrolled her beach towel and flattened it on the ground, glancing up at Maine, who was helping set up a cooler with canned beer and soda in it.
"Why aren't you in a swimsuit?" she asked, gesturing at his jeans and t-shirt.
"I don't swim," he replied, grabbing a beer from the cooler.
North rolled his eyes. "I already tried," he said. "Maine is impossible to convince to do anything he doesn't want to do."
"Aw, I was hoping we could play a friendly game of volleyball," York said, striking a cocky pose in front of Maine. "Guess you're too scared then?"
"Not of you," Maine replied, looking him over.
"Oh, is that how it's gonna be?" York pulled off his shirt and tossed it on the ground, flexing his arms. Carolina stared appreciatively, as he was tanned from working outdoors so much. "You wanna go, tough guy?"
"I feel like I'm in an Archie comic," North chuckled. "Have fun, you two. I need to tan a little."
"Yeah, me too." Carolina pulled off her tank top and stepped out of her shorts, tucking them into her bag. She was already wearing her favorite turquoise bikini and felt self-conscious, especially when she saw that both York and Maine were staring at her.
"Wow," York said, shaking his head. "Uh, I guess I haven't seen you in a swimsuit yet. I really regret my life decisions up to this point."
She blushed. "It's nothing special," she mumbled, raising an eyebrow at Maine. "Why are you looking?" she asked.
"I still appreciate the female form," he replied, smiling a little. "Great color on you."
"Thanks." Now she was embarrassed.
"Go on," North urged, sitting down on his own blanket. "Go beat each other up on the court over there." He waved towards a still-empty net about thirty feet away further up the beach, an abandoned volleyball half-buried in the sand. Maine and York glared at each other and trudged off.
Carolina sat down next to North and he handed her a soda, grabbing one for himself. North was wearing a pair of bright purple swim trunks with green edging, and they suited him perfectly. She also noticed he was much more muscled than she'd assumed, but knowing who she hung out with, she wasn't surprised.
"How are you?" North asked, lying on his back on the towel. He took off his sunglasses and closed his eyes, putting his hands behind his head to enjoy the warm sunshine.
"Good, you?"
"Pretty good." He tilted his head towards her, keeping his eyes shut. "Wash found an apartment, so he's going to move in a few weeks."
"Oh."He hadn't mentioned that to her. "That's great!"
"Yeah, tell me about it. I'm going to ask Maine to officially move in with me sometime today. I figured I'd let him try to make things better between him and Wash first."
"Speaking of, where is he?"
"Wash? He's over getting more ice from the shop up the road. We didn't have enough at home. He should be here soon."
"Oh, okay."
They sat in silence for a few minutes, listening to people around them play in the ocean. "Can I talk to you about something?" North finally asked, propping himself up on his elbows.
"Of course!"
"Have I been different since I've been with Maine?"
The question caught her off-guard; she'd assumed he'd guessed something was up between her and Wash, but was relieved. "I don't know. What do you mean?"
"I mean, I know I've been really irritable lately, and it's not just because of that cat. I feel like I've been ruder to everyone, not acting like myself. Is that true?"
She shrugged, debating how to answer. "Well, it's true you haven't been acting like yourself. But people get like that in new relationships, you know? You change because of the other person."
"But I don't want to change, at least not like this."
"You should talk to Maine about it."
"He's the one that brought it up in the first place." North leaned his head back, staring up at the sky. "He said I need to stop taking my friends for granted and be nicer to them. He thinks you all hate him because he's changed me."
"No, of course not! Personally, I think you two are great together." Carolina reached over and pat his arm. "We're not going to stop being your friends or anything. Just…try to be more like your old self, you know? Charming and laid-back."
"Charming, huh?" He chuckled. "What makes you say I'm charming?"
"This coming from the guy who called himself 'cute' in front of me the first time we met? Please, North. You're adorable and everyone knows it."
"This is true. Thanks, Lina."
"Anytime."
"Hey guys!"
They looked over to see Wash trudging through the sand, carrying two medium-sized bags of crushed ice. He was wearing a pair of gray swim trunks with yellow piping down the sides and she smiled, realizing the color matched the flecks of gray in his eyes.
"Took you long enough," North said, eyeing the ice. "Only two bags?"
"Dude, the cooler isn't that large."
"That's not what your dad said last night—"
"Christ," Wash said, tossing one of the bags at North. He caught it with a grin. "And I thought the 'your mom' jokes were bad. That's taking 'ick' to a whole new level, North."
"Besides, that one doesn't even make sense," Carolina added.
"You guys suck."
"Like I bet Maine did last night, ohhh!" Wash leaned down and hi-fived Carolina. They burst out laughing as North turned bright red, putting his sunglasses back on.
"You two aren't fucking funny," he said, lying down again.
"Oh, I think we are."
York jogged over, already sweating, and pushed his hair out of his face as he grabbed a beer out of the cooler. "Why didn't you warn me that Maine is, like, a volleyball god?" he complained, chugging the beer as North laughed.
"Because I thought it'd be more fun to see him crush you."
"Are you watching? Because that's what's happening. I haven't scored a goddamned single point on him yet!"
"Aw, keep trying, maybe he'll let you win one."
"Fuck that, I'm gonna destroy him. C'mon, babe, come with me. You can distract Maine with your hotness."
Carolina grinned. "Won't I just distract you?" she teased.
"Well, of course, but hopefully less than him!"
She stood up and grabbed the suntan lotion out of her bag, nodding at him. "Go ahead, I'll be over in a minute."
"Sweet!" York kissed her and ran back towards the volleyball pit, yelling something at Maine, who was standing at the net with a satisfied look on his face. She could practically feel the smugness wafting their direction and chuckled as she spread some lotion on her arms and legs, massaging her neck with the cool liquid.
"You, uh…you look great," Wash said quietly, standing next to her. He said it so softly she barely heard him, and noticed North craning his neck to look at them, raising an eyebrow.
"Thanks," she said with a smile.
"Good color."
"Thanks…again."
"Do you think you two could move your unbearable sexual tension away? You're blocking my rays."
"Shut up," Wash growled, stalking off towards the ocean. Carolina tossed her lotion back in her duffel and jogged over to the volleyball court, waving at York and Maine. North frowned and adjusted his sunglasses, lying back down to enjoy the sun.
(b)
"I concede."
York was lying on the sand, breathing heavily, sweating up a storm. Maine was leaning on one of the poles holding up the net, bouncing the volleyball from hand to hand. He was drenched in sweat and had taken his shirt off sometime between the fifth and ninth humiliating, crushing defeat of York. A small group of girls was gathered to one side of the court, giggling to themselves as they waited for the two hot guys to start playing again.
"That's what happens when you challenge me to sports," Maine said, in a tone of voice that had what Carolina would swear was a hint of bragging. "We could have a rematch in something a little less strenuous, if you'd like."
"Fuck. You."
"You're no fun."
"I fucking…hate you."
"Come on guys, I think it's time to break for lunch." Carolina retreated over to the blankets where North and Wash had started pulling sandwiches out of another cooler that North must have been keeping in the car.
"Hungry?" North asked, offering her half a turkey sub.
"Very," she replied, taking it with a smile. "Watching Maine beat the crap out of York is strangely exhilarating."
"I can see the appeal," Wash said, handing her a beer. She laughed and popped it open. "It is nice to see him lose at something. He always gets everything handed to him."
"Hey, if it bothers you so much, stop giving things to him," North said, picking up another sandwich to unwrap.
"What do you mean?"
North opened his mouth to reply but instead took a bite of the sandwich as York and Maine approached. "I fucking hate your boyfriend," York growled, sitting down next to Carolina. She handed him her sandwich and he took it gratefully, ripping off a large chunk with his teeth.
"Hey, you sort of held your own," Maine said, sitting next to North. North grinned and leaned over to kiss him.
"Proud of you, babe."
"Thanks, babe."
They kissed again and Carolina glanced over at the group of girls that had sort of migrated to a nearby spot, keeping an eye on York and Maine. She watched as two of them snickered as Maine and North made out, a few of the others still watching York and now Wash with renewed interest.
"I think I liked you better when you were practically mute," York grumbled.
"I think I liked you better when—no, wait, I still don't like you."
"Cockbite."
"Fucktard."
"Bitch."
"Come on, at least be creative."
"Aw, they're friends now," North laughed. He and Carolina looked at each other and made puppy dog eyes as York choked on a piece of the bread he'd been inhaling.
"We're not friends!"
Maine shrugged. "Don't want to be friends with someone who sucks that much at volleyball anyway," he said quietly, nuzzling North's cheek. York's face started getting even redder and he focused on his sandwich intently, staying quiet.
"I'm gonna go swim a bit," Wash announced, standing up. "It's too hot outside and your arguing is giving me a headache."
York stood up and brushed off his shorts, looking down at Carolina. "I could use a break too. Wanna come?" he asked, handing her the rest of his sandwich.
She shook her head. "Not right now. Go ahead."
He nodded and he and Wash took off for the ocean. Maine stood up a minute later and left to find a restroom, leaving her and North alone to eat.
"So what's going on with you and Wash?" North asked, lifting his sunglasses to rest on the top of his head.
"Nothing."
"Come on, don't lie to me. I figured out you and York, I can figure out Wash more easily if given the time. He's so terrible at lying."
"Not as terrible as you'd think," Carolina said quietly.
"What?"
"Nothing," she repeated.
"Did he finally admit his feelings for you or something?"
She coughed, caught off-guard. "What are you talking about?!"
"I guess that means yes. When did he tell you?"
Her cheeks were burning. "How long have you known?"
"Lina, I've known how he feels about you since the night he came home from your date, okay? Don't even start trying to play coy with me."
"Then tell me what to do," she said, close to tears.
"What happened?"
She filled him in on the past couple of months, including their make out session a few days earlier. North listened quietly as she talked, occasionally stopping to cry from frustration. Finally she concluded with, "I don't know what to do. I still haven't told York about Columbia."
"How long do you have until you have to accept or decline the offer?"
"Until the end of July, so another month or so."
"That should be enough time to talk to both of them."
"I can't talk to York, because I know he's going to want to move with me and I still don't know if I want him there."
"What about Wash? What if he moved out there with you?"
She shook her head. "No, I mean, I kind of want to do this on my own, you know? Finally going back to school, and grad school is really intense, and living in a new city—it's all really exciting, and I don't think I want someone there with me."
"Someone holding you back, you mean."
Carolina blinked, frowning. His tone was supportive, but… "Is that what it sounds like I'm saying?"
"Well, yes, but it's not a bad thing." North smiled and took her hand in his. "Sweetie, I'm going to support you no matter what. I've always wanted to see New York, and it'd be a great excuse for a vacation with Maine. But I don't want you to feel bad about wanting to do this on your own. Trust me. That's a huge step right there, admitting that you don't need someone in your life to be happy."
"But York will never understand. Neither will Wash."
"They're adults. They'll learn how to understand. But they can't move on in their lives until you decide what you want to do. Do you realize that?"
Carolina nodded. "I do. I'm sorry for dragging you into all this."
North waved his other hand dismissively. "I always get into everyone else's drama. It's kind of second nature to me now. Tell me, though, how do you really feel about Wash?"
She stared at the towel she was sitting on, picking at a loose fiber. "He's really sweet, and nice, and of course I'm attracted to him. But he's still sort of…irresponsible, you know? It's hard to explain."
"Is it irresponsible like he isn't reliable when it comes to physical things, like bills, or emotional things, because he kissed you when he knows you love York?"
"Yeah, the second one."
North nodded. "If it helps, you're the first girl he's ever acted like this about."
"It really doesn't. That means there's no precedence for you to tell me about."
"Point." North smiled at her. "Lina, it's okay that two guys love you. You just have to decide which one, if either, you want."
"I don't know if I can do that."
"Well, it's time to grow the fuck up and try."
"Gee, thanks, North."
"Anytime."
(b)
Part 26
Wash hoisted a box up into the moving van, wiping his forehead on his sleeve. There were way too many boxes to move. He didn't think he had that much stuff in the first place, but apparently he'd been wrong. Besides, June was a terrible month to move during; it was way too hot outside.
"How's it going?" York asked, popping his head into the back of the van.
Wash sighed. "Fucking exhausting," he replied. "You gonna help me move my bed in a minute?"
"Is that all that's left?"
"Yeah, should be."
"Then yes, glad to help." He grinned.
"You know, if you'd been helping me, we could have been done already."
"Dude, I move stuff around for a living, I ain't moving crap on my day off unless you really need my help."
Wash shook his head. "God, you're so lazy."
"Shut up and let's go get your bed."
Wash had finally found an affordable apartment across town, and North had agreed to loan him the money for the deposit and first month's rent so he could move out immediately without depleting his savings. North and Maine had sat down with him over dinner the day he'd decided on the place and talked everything out, making sure there were no hurt feelings in the process.
They got upstairs to find Carolina and North sitting in the mostly-empty living room, leaning against each other's' backs for support as they used the internet on their phones, comparing reviews for movies at the theaters that weekend. North was giving him the couch and dining room table set, since Maine had a newer couch and his own table to bring over.
"What about that new romantic comedy?" Carolina asked.
North shook his head. "I've got to see that one with CT, we already planned on it when we saw the trailer. The new action movie?"
"Meh, that looks really dumb."
"That animated one with the squirrel?"
"Maybe."
"You guys gonna help us with the bed or talk movies all day?" York asked, gesturing towards the bedroom.
"Ugh, fine," North said, standing up. Carolina wobbled as she fell off balance, straightening a second later.
"I don't wanna," she whined, pouting. "I'm tired."
"It's okay, we just have the bed left," Wash said. "We can handle it."
York grumbled and walked into the bedroom after North. Wash smiled down at her. "You doing okay?" she asked, standing up.
He nodded. Surprisingly, he was fine. "Yeah. I mean, I hate moving, but I'm glad North and Maine can live here, and now I can actually take Epsilon home with me. I hope he likes the new place, it's a little small."
"He'll get over it." Carolina shuffled her feet, avoiding meeting his eyes.
"Yeah. Well, I better go help."
"Yeah."
He left her in the living room, his chest hurting a little. How stupid. It's not like she's literally breaking my heart, he thought, going into the bedroom. He grabbed a side of the bed and helped lift it off the frame, walking it out the door with the others. I'm just moving across town. We're still friends.
"Dude!"
Wash started, knocking his back against the wall he'd been heading towards. He shook his head, catching York's glare. "Sorry," he apologized.
"Pay attention, man. You want North to lose the security deposit?"
"Sorry," he repeated, getting a better grip on the mattress as they continued.
At least I might still have a chance.
(b)
Part 27
"Can we just ban July from even existing?"
"No, because then we wouldn't have Independence Day or these swelteringly hot days to complain about."
"Fuck that, I'll do fireworks in August or something."
"It's not that bad. At least we have air conditioning."
York sat up, grumbling. "I need some water. Want anything?"
Carolina shook her head. "I'm good." He grumbled some more and pushed himself off the bed, heading for the kitchen. Deciding that there was never going to be a better time to talk to him about Columbia, she rolled off the bed and followed him into the kitchen to find him filling a glass with ice.
"York, can I talk to you about something?"
"'Course, babe. What's up?"
"Well, it's something you should sit down for."
He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and picked up his glass from the counter. "Is something wrong?"
"Not…wrong, really, but…can we just sit down?"
He looked worried as he followed her over to the couch, setting the glass and bottle on the table. "You're really freaking me out, Lina. What's wrong?"
She took a deep breath, reaching over to take his hands in hers. He laced their fingers together. "It's about grad school," she started, and he smiled, visibly relaxing.
"Oh god, I thought you were going to say you were pregnant!" York laughed, shaking his head a little.
"Just listen to me. I…I got accepted into Columbia."
The smile was gone as quickly as it had appeared. "You didn't say you applied there," he said, stiffening his back. She could feel him tighten his grip on her hands.
"Yeah, because I wasn't sure I'd even have a shot. I guess I did, because they accepted me for early admission."
"What does that mean?"
"It means that I can start classes this semester. It means that I'd have to move there soon."
"Move. To New York." York's voice sounded hollow.
"Yes."
"Across the country."
"That's where it's located."
"I don't…I mean…I don't really know what to say," he stuttered, removing one of his hands from her own to reach up and idly scratch the scar over his eye. "Are you gonna say yes?"
"I already did."
"Wow. Okay."
They sat in silence for a few minutes, until York let out a deep breath. "Okay. Well, I guess it's good I've put money back into savings. That should be enough to put down a deposit on a place, and probably pay for a couple months' rent. Don't they pay you in grad school? I bet that's not much, though. I'll just have to get a job pretty quick."
"York—"
"This is going to be good." He finally smiled, timidly, and looked at her. "We can make this work. Are you excited?"
Carolina could sense the tears before she actually felt them hit her cheeks. She watched York's face change from tepid excitement to a mix of confusion and panic as he went blurry. The tears came faster than she expected and she dissolved into sobs, wanting to kick herself for losing control.
"Oh god, Carolina, what the fuck is wrong?" His voice was filled with worry and he reached out, hugging her to himself. "Jesus, Lina, we don't have to move! You can say tell them you changed your mind!"
"No, I want to go," she managed to say, burying her face against his chest. She sniffed and tried to push herself away to look him in the face, but he held on tighter. "I really do."
"Then why are you crying?!"
"Because I want to do this on my own!" she cried out, nearly hysterical.
York's warm embrace immediately felt ice-cold and he stopped stroking her head, his hand frozen in place at the base of her neck. "What are you saying?"
"I think…no, I know I want to do this on my own. I love you so much, York, but—I feel like this is something I need to do. To experience this on my own."
"Yeah. Okay." He let go of her, his hands dropping to his sides. "Yeah. I get it. Okay."
"York—"
"No." He shook his head, looking away from her. "I get it. You're independent, Carolina. I should have—no, I did see this coming. Since before Valentine's Day, even. You're afraid to let people in. You keep everything at a distance."
"I never kept anything from you, York! I love you, I really, really do, so much, you don't know—"
"Oh, I know. No, I'm not saying you don't. Far from it." He reached up to wipe his face on his sleeve, and she could feel her heart breaking. "I love you more than you know, babe. I'll get you to change your mind."
"York…"
"Please, give me that." His voice cracked and she could feel herself getting short of breath as she rubbed her eyes, the tears still coming. "Give me something to hold onto. That's all I ask."
"Okay." Her voice was quiet, small.
Suddenly York turned and knelt in front of her, taking her hands in his. Tears were streaming down his face and he looked like he'd been punched in the stomach. "Carolina, you're the most amazing person I've ever known, and you've changed me so much, in so many great ways. I'll never be the same person without you. I want you to know how much I love you. I'll give up everything to make you happy. I'll do anything; just tell me that we can be together."
Carolina leaned forward, touching their foreheads together. "I love you too," she said through tears, feeling them drip down onto her hands to mix with his own.
"Then let's do this together. Please. Let me do this with you. Together."
She hiccupped as she shook her head slightly, feeling his body trembling. "I can't," she sobbed, squeezing his hands.
"Lina—"
He tilted his head down to kiss her, pressing his lips against the tear tracks on her cheeks, her forehead, her temples, her nose, finally her lips, kissing her harder and more passionately than ever. It was as though he thought he could change her mind with just one kiss, one amazing gesture from the bottom of his heart, and she let him try, knowing deep down that her mind was made up and there was no going back.
They broke the kiss and sat there staring at each other, both ignoring the tears in the others' eyes, holding their hands together tightly. Her knuckles were probably white, but she refused to look away from his face. Finally York looked down and eased up on the grip on her hands, shaking his head.
"Something to hold onto," he said quietly. Carolina nodded and broke down into fresh sobs, covering her face with her hands as York stared off into the distance, his knee still touching her leg.