No, your eyes do not deceive you; here's another. Much love and appreciation to all of you that stuck by me, and to all of you who jumped on board despite my shaky record. Don't get too excited, though; I can't keep up with updates this frequently every time - I have another fandom that I need to show some love to again, as well. But I promise not to leave you hanging for terribly long.
"Good luck!" Rose called over the railing as I opened the door.
"Thanks! I'm gonna need it," I mumbled as I left, heading across the street and down the steps to the subway platform, taking a deep breath as I stepped onto the train.
Fifteen long minutes later a small crowd of students was spilling out through the automatic doors, fighting to be first through the turnstiles and up the rundown steps to the sidewalk.
"All right, Swan. You got this," I pepped, readjusting the bag on my shoulder as I darted up the front steps of my building. "Two hours and you're outta there."
xXoOoXx
I turned my phone back on as I stepped out into the sunshine, freezing when I saw how many missed calls I had. "Oh, shit."
I took off towards the hospital, not even bothering to try and catch a cab; it would be hell in the midday traffic, anyway.
Of course I didn't want Rose to be alone, though at this point it could very well be too late, but my biggest concern was Grace. She still wasn't entirely comfortable around Rose and I couldn't imagine what they would do with her or how she would react while Rose was in labor.
"Rosalie Hale, please?" I requested upon locating the maternity ward twenty or so minutes later.
"You're a little late," she smirked, pointing at the room right across from us.
"Great," I smiled sarcastically, pushing off of the desk. "Rose?" I knocked on the door softly as I pushed it open.
"It's about time," she scowled, readjusting her potion on the bed. "Get over here." I crossed the room quickly and she held out the little bundle of blanket and blush in her arms.
"That was fast," I murmured, taking the baby into my arms.
"Yeah," she laughed humorlessly, "he came through like a fuckin' runaway semi-truck. I'm not complaining, though I still can't feel my legs. I may've peed. I may be peeing right now. Who knows?"
"Thanks for that," I grimaced. "Where's Grace?"
"I made them call for Dr. Sloan for her, but I don't know if he ever made it. They pushed her out an hour or two ago, I dunno. I lost track of time and my cell phone's all the way over there," she indicated towards the nightstand.
"Oh, you mean that two whole feet away?"
"You try pushing that out of your, granted much tinier, body and see if you feel like rolling over and stretching!"
"Ugh, here," I said, moving over to hand her the phone.
"Well don't you want to know what I called him?" she probed as she took it.
"I was waiting for you," I rolled my eyes.
"Liam Christopher."
"Rosalie Lillian Hale, don't even tell me you named your son after the Hemsworth brothers?"
"No," she blushed, scowling. "Chris isn't short for anything."
"Oh my God," I rolled my eyes.
"It's a good name!" she defended tiredly, slumping back into her pillows. "It's cute."
"It is a good name," I agreed, crossing the room and laying him down in the bassinet, tickling his chubby little cheek. "For a good kid. Do y'think I could bring Grace in or do you need us to wait until tomorrow?"
"Nah, let her come in. I feel bad about having to dump her with the nurses."
"Okay, we'll be back in a few," I smiled at the baby and then Rose, backing out of the room to go find Grace.
"Can you page Dr. Sloan for me, please?" I requested when I reached the nurses station.
"Dr. Sloan isn't OB/GYN," she replied. "I can page Dr. Costner; she's on-call."
"No, no – I don't need the OB. Dr. Sloan has my daughter." I took myself aback with that statement; that was the first time I, or anyone, had referred to Grace as my daughter. It was true, though. In the past few months she'd become the single most important thing in my life and I couldn't imagine where I'd be without her. I wanted her to find her family more than anything, but at the same time the thought of losing her to them broke my heart. Which was ridiculous, because she was their's in the first place.
"Mr. Sloan was pulled into emergency surgery," the nurse interrupted. "But he left his secretary with your daughter in his office. Room 315."
"Thank you." When I got there, the secretary was sitting in a chair in front of the desk, locked into a staring contest with Grace, who was sitting on the couch across the room.
"Grace," I interrupted, making them both jump. "Come on." I held out my hand and she grinned, jumping off of the couch and running to take it. "Thank you," I offered to the woman as she stood.
"Yeah," she nodded. "No problem. Have you, uh… thought about having her see someone?"
"We already have," I assured her. "She's fine." I lifted her to sit at my hip and exited, heading back to the maternity ward.
"Excuse me, Miss?" A nurse called out as I reached Rose's room. "No children under 12 who aren't immediate family!"
"She is immediate family," I snapped, twisting the handle.
"I know that Ms. Hale doesn't have any other children; she can not go in!"
"Look, they might as well be siblings. They'll be living in the same house, breathing the same air, being taken care of by the same people. We're going in." I pushed the door open before she could argue any further, reminding Grace that we had to be quiet as I kept it from slamming behind me. Not that she really needed the reminder.
Rose was snoring against her pillows, the hair previously plastered against her forehead slowly drying and falling into her open mouth. I snapped a picture for posterity and moved across the room to show Grace her new little pseudo brother. "Grace, this is Liam," I introduced, leaning forward so she could look at his face. "What do you think?" I asked after a while. She made a face, shrugging her shoulders and wiggled around until I let her down.
"Yeah, he doesn't do much yet," I agreed. "What do you say we go home and get dinner? We can come back tomorrow, when they're awake."
She nodded, grasping my hand and tugging me to the door. I thought we were making progress, but as soon as we reached the hospital entrance she demanded to be lifted, sticking her face into my shirt as usual.
"What do you say we order pizza?" I asked, hailing a cab for the journey home. She nodded into my neck and I had to laugh as I pulled out my phone to place the order; if we were lucky, we would just beat Georgio home.
xXoOoXx
There was a knock on the door just as we finished setting plates and napkins on the table. Grace stiffened briefly but relaxed as I ran my hand down her back as I headed for the door, money already in hand.
"Jacob?" I gasped as I opened the door. Jacob Black was two years younger than me, and my father's best friend's son. He'd been my best friend, but last I knew he was on the other side of the country. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"Bella," his eyes widened, grip on the box in his hand loosening slowly.
"Whoa, that's dinner!" I grabbed it from his hand before it was splattered all over the ground. "Where's Georgio?"
"He left for school, and I took his place. I go to Berkeley."
"That's great, Jacob," I nodded, handing him his money.
"What happened to you, Bella?" he asked quietly.
"I had to grow up, Jake," I shrugged, hanging on the door. "Things changed and I needed to do what was best for me."
He nodded. "Can I see you again?"
"Y'know, now's not really the best time. My roommate just had a baby and we're going to be getting them settled for the next few weeks. Maybe we could get dinner after the fact," I suggested hesitantly.
"Yeah, okay," he agreed sadly.
"I'm sorry, Jacob. Nothing I ever did was to hurt you guys, I just… I was hurt, and I needed to worry about myself for a while."
"No, it's… I understand. I do. I just miss you, Bella. A lot."
"I miss you too," I offered him a smile. "But I'll see you around. We order a lot of pizza here," I joked.
"Speaking of," he held up the bag in his hand. "Got a few more to deliver. Don't disappear again, huh?" he asked, and I could hear the pain hiding in the back of his throat.
"I won't," I promised, shutting the door. I slumped against it, my heart racing and tears prickling at the back of my eyes. I couldn't. It wasn't just about me anymore; I couldn't be selfish with my feelings any longer, no matter how much seeing him again brought back heart-wrenching memories. Maybe the heart-warming ones would make up for those, anyway.
"Ready for pizza?" I shook myself out of it, pushing off the door. "Smells great!"
Grace was kneeling in one of the kitchen chairs, a knife held up in one hand and a fork in the other. "Oh for God's sake Grace, it's pizza." I plucked the utensils from her hands and tossed them onto the counter. "How'd you even get to those?"
She held a finger up to her lips and shook her head before leaning across the table and smacking at the pizza box. "Okay, okay." I flipped the lid and put the piece she pointed to on her plate.
xXoOoXx
When she was done with her pizza she clamored down from the chair, tipping the paper plate into the garbage and situating herself down next to the big white cardboard playhouse sitting in the corner of the living room. She had her pouch of crayons next to her as she set to work, trying her best to stay within the outlines of the flowers at the bottom.
Once I had put the pizza box away and wiped up the table I joined her, taking the crayon she'd handed me to color in the roof that she couldn't reach a lovely blue-green.
"What should we do tonight? Do you want to watch a movie?" I asked eventually.
She shook her head, concentrating so hard on coloring the center of a daisy that she broke a pink crayon. "Fishie," she whispered, looking at the crayon as though it had burned her.
"Do we have to get the fish tonight?" I asked, standing up to go find some tape.
When she didn't say anything further I stopped, turning around to see her staring at me. When her eyes met mine, she nodded. "Please," she mouthed.
"Okay, let me find a pet store," I gave in, turning back to the hallway.
We left the apartment shortly before 7:30, a pet store just five blocks away. This time we tried something different; I hoisted her up onto my back and wrapped her arms over my shoulders. I felt her face come into my neck but after a few minutes she shifted a little. I couldn't be sure, but it felt like she might be peeking as we passed a park, a couple of kids shrieking as they played tag.
"Not so bad, is it?" I said quietly, knocking my head back into hers softly, evoking a little giggle before her face went back into my neck.
"Alright, you gotta look now," I said, pulling her around to my front when I found the aisle with the fish. "Pick your fish," I encouraged, tapping her temple to get her to open her eyes. "The only other people in here are the workers. It's okay." She squirmed her way around so that she was curled into my chest, then turned her head to look at the fish tanks and tubs on the shelves before her.
Almost immediately she was pointing, tugging on my shirt urging me to move closer. When she could almost touch the containers she waved at one right in the middle, a bright red beta fish with bright blue tipped fins and tail swimming around in circles in his tiny tub. "This one?" I made sure, putting my hand on him. She tapped my hand twice, which I assumed to mean yes as she made no protest when I picked him up off the shelf. "Okay, now our friend needs a home."
On the other end of the aisle were the tank displays, ranging from half a gallon to over a hundred. I pointed out a small enough one that would fit nicely on the upper counter in the kitchen. "How about this one?" She shrugged, complacent now that she had her new friend to observe. I tucked the box for the tank under my arm and grabbed a bag of pebbles, knowing Grace wouldn't care the color at this point. Next time she could pick out some plants or statues, but for now we had the basics.
When we got home she sat on the stool, bouncing up and down eagerly as I dumped our new friend into a bag and set up the tank, placing him to float around at the top for a couple of hours. "Don't open the bag," I warned Grace as she reached towards it. "Fish need to take time to adjust to the water temperature. If you just dump him in he could die."
Her eyes widened as her hand flew back and into her lap, nowhere near the tank. "We'll let him out in a couple of hours, okay?" She nodded, leaning back onto the counter, cheek in her hand, to watch him swim around in the Ziploc, occasionally bumping into the clear wall.
We let him out just before bedtime, watching for a few more minutes as he darted across the tank happily, eating the few pellets that I sprinkled in, showing Grace how much to feed him. After that, we said goodnight to him, leaving on the light over the stove so he wouldn't get scared.
In the morning I let Grace feed him; one pellet at a time went in, watching as he darted from one end to the other as I made eggs for the two of us.
When we were done we headed back for the hospital, straight up to Rosalie's room this time. "Thank God you're here, I'm going out of my mind with boredom," she complained before I could even shut the door. "The TV is stuck on the same station, they get mad if I try to go further than the end of the hall but they won't bring me back my baby, and this food is ass."
"When are they discharging you?"
"Hopefully tonight, but possibly not until morning. Not until I can get him to latch on his own."
"Breastfeeding?"
"Fuck yeah, breastfeeding. Have you seen the costs of formula? Fuck that, this shit's free."
"I wasn't questioning your feeding methods," I rolled my eyes. "I was making sure that's what we were talking about."
"Oh," she blushed. "Sorry. I'm just a little irritated. And exhausted. And starving."
"Tell you what. I'll run out and get you some real shitty food if you keep Grace."
"Deal. Such a deal."
When I returned, bag of McDonald's in hand, Grace was actually sitting on the bed with Rosalie, leaning over her to look at Liam intently. When Rose spotted me she looked at Grace and asked, "Do you want to hold him?" When Grace nodded, she ordered her over to the chair in the corner and held the baby out to me. I dropped the bag into her lap and cradled him, walking around the bed to show Grace how to hold her arms. Kneeling in front of her, I put him in her arms, keeping mine underneath as a backup.
When she got squirmy I took him back, returning him to Rosalie. I stole a few fries and then went back to Grace, lifting her out of the seat and taking her place, pulling her onto my lap as the door opened and a nurse popped her head in.
"Ready to try again, Mommy?"
"Let's do it," she agreed, sitting up straight.
"You two can wait in the waiting room, it's right down the hall by the stairwell."
"Oh no, they can stay," Rose shook her head. "I mean you don't have to, but chances are you'll see my boobs eventually so you might as well."
The nurse looked from her to me, eyes wide. "They're just boobs," I shrugged, motioning for her to get on with it.
"Um, okay…" she preceded to assist Rose in getting Liam to latch on, stepping back went it appeared that he had. "And there we go!"
"Hallelujah!" Rose exclaimed, her head falling back against the pillows. "Now can we go home?"
"We're gonna do this again in a few hours, see that you can do it yourself, and then we'll discuss it with your OB after she examines you one more time."
She ended up having to spend one more night, released around noon the next day. We strapped Liam into the car seat I brought with me and tossed a blanket over it, a town car waiting outside to take us home.
Rose set the car seat, sleeping baby and all, next to the couch when we got in, heading straight for the fridge. "Food, glorious food," she sang, wrenching it open and pulling out a Gatorade and cheese stick. When she turned around, Grace stood in front of her, hand reaching out to grab her shirt and tug her forwards.
"Calm down, Squirt," Rose mumbled around her mouthful of cheese. "We got plenty of time." She clambered onto the stool, sweeping her arms in front of the fish tank in a grand gesture. "Wow," Rose nodded, acting properly impressed. "Does he have a name yet?"
Grace shook her head. "How about Crimson Tide?"
"Sounds like a period," I scoffed before Grace could latch onto it. "What about The Crimson Fish?"
"Oh, that's a good one," she agreed. "What do you think, Grace?" she asked, running her hand over the back of Grace's hair. She shrank back, swatting Rose's hand away, but nodded enthusiastically, tapping the wall next to where he was chilling.
Liam let out a tiny wail and Grace gasped, spinning around to look so fast I thought she was going to fall off. "Whoa, there," I stopped her. "We need to lay down a few new rules now that Liam is home, capiche?"
Her face scrunched up in confusion, shaking her head. "First of all, we don't just touch the baby, okay? Our hands need to be clean, and we need to wait for Rose's permission. Second of all, we don't feed him anything – food or otherwise. He's too young for us to be putting anything in his mouth, unless it's a bottle. And we still don't do that without help, got it?" I waited for her to nod. "We have to be very careful and very quiet around him – no loud or sudden movements. No picking him up or taking him anywhere without us first. And we don't go upstairs unless we've asked. Got it all?"
She nodded, watching Rosalie almost sadly as she lifted Liam up and cradled him to her chest, settling into the couch to feed him. Grace spun quickly towards me, lifting her arms for me to do the same with her. She pulled herself as tightly as she could against me, feet going around my waist and arms almost suffocating me as she snuggled into my side, sighing as I hugged her back.
"It's okay," I murmured, stroking her hair. "I'm here." She pulled away, eyes a little teary, and ran her hand down my cheek, leaning in to give me a kiss before squeezing me tight again.
"I love you, Kid," I sighed, leaning on the stool and hoisting her up. She wasn't skin and bone, anymore. She nodded her head, squeezing marginally tighter for just a second, and I knew she'd found it in her to love me, too.
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