CHAPTER XIII
AN: Sorry it's been awhile!!! Just a couple things before you read on:
This has a 'bonus' chapter of Jessie's PoV. I couldn't help it, 'cos when I first imagined this chapter it was from her point of view, but it didn't feel right as a memory... plus you guys deserve it :D
Lena xo
PS: By the way, these chapters are going too slow and Jessie's side of things is going too fast... so these chapters will be skipping a month, or three, and so on... but Jessie's side of things will practically be a day-by-day recount.
If I could say what I wanna say
I'd say I want to blow you away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight?
If I could say what I wanna see
I wanna see you go down on one knee
Marry me today
Guess I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say
→ Things I'll Never Say, Avril Lavigne
Tap tap.
"Collin. Breathe."
"Christie's... intimidating, to say the least," I muttered. Kaylie laughed and the door opened. I felt a grin automatically cross my face at the sight of my imprint. She was wearing faded blue jeans, a rucksack that probably contained her overnight stuff, and a tight black T-shirt that I had trouble dragging my eyes from...but as my eyes went to her face, she smiled and I leaned in and gently kissed her lips.
"Hey," I whispered, my hand cupping her face, the blush light on her cheeks.
"Hi," she whispered back, and I didn't miss her eyes flicker towards Kaylie.
"This is Kaylie, and you've met Seth, sort of," I added, pointing to him sitting in the back of my car.
"This is Jessie, my girlfriend," I said to Kaylie, allowing the pride to seep into my voice – it was the first time I'd introduced her that way or even said it out loud. Although to me, the word 'girlfriend' didn't seem like enough...
"Hi, it's nice to finally meet you," said Kaylie enthusiastically, shaking Jessie's hand. "Collin talks about you so much," Kaylie added suggestively, giving me a sideways look. I flashed her a glare.
"Oh," stuttered Jessie, blushing in the presence of a new person.
Behind her appeared Christie, flanking Jessie like some sort of bodyguard.
"So, you've come to take my god-daughter away," she said dryly. Kaylie flashed a charming smile.
"Hi Ms Renalds, I'm Kaylie, a friend of Collin's," she said as they shook hands. "I'm here to answer any questions you might have about tonight."
"Why can't Collin answer them?" asked Christie suspiciously.
"Oh, I helped organise it. It's to celebrate my fiance's cousin's anniversary."
Fiance? That was news to me. I shot a look at Seth, whom I knew could hear the whole conversation. He grinned sheepishly.
"So how does it work? Where are you sleeping?" cut in Christie with her accent.
"Well, first we go to Emily's for lunch. Everyone from the Makah Rez, from Emily's side of the family, will be there. Then in the evening, the elders and the family and friends from the Quileute Reservation will be there for dinner. At night, if the weather's good like the forecast says, then just close friends and family-" the pack, in other words "-will be staying back for a bonfire. Then the girls will be sleeping inside the house and the guys will be sleeping outside on the back lawn. By the time we clean up tomorrow Jessie will be dropped off safe and sound in the afternoon."
Christie nodded, but she was still frowning. "Alright. But I want it known that my Jessie will not be allowed to consume any alcohol."
Kaylie looked shocked – or at least pretended to. "Alcohol? There will be children there, I doubt there will be much alcohol there." She flashed me a nervous glance, and I knew what she was thinking – last year, when Embry and Brady had somehow managed to get completely off their whack by four hours. But Christie didn't seem to notice because her face visibly relaxed and I realised that was probably why she had been so tense. This is why I brought Kaylie – the girl's a diplomat.
"Anyway," she continued smoothly, "We better hit the road or we'll miss it. It was a pleasure to meet you, Ms Renalds."
"Please, call me Christie," beamed the European woman and I frowned, just a bit. She'd never said that to me. Christie kissed Jessie on the cheek, telling her the usual to have fun and stay safe.
We headed back to the car, Kaylie slipping into the back seat next to Seth. I shouldered Jessie's bag and opened the door for her. She tentatively kissed me on the lips before jumping into the car. I heard Kaylie say, "Awwww," as Jessie blushed.
As I drove, I held Jessie's hand over the gears. In the backseat Seth had his arm around Kaylie and they were talking softly – nothing I couldn't hear, but then I was a little more preoccupied.
"Are you ok?" I murmured to Jessie, and she nodded but I saw her glance at the rear view mirror, where Seth and Kaylie were visible. There were new people, I told myself, that must be why she was so tense. And she was tense – I couldn't feel it through her hand, or her body, but I could feel it in the air around her. Imprint bond, I guess – I should be happy, we'd been dating for almost 8 months now and I was finally bringing her to La Push, but all I could feel was nervous and tense. And worry, because I didn't want Jessie to feel either of those. I knew the pack would make her feel at home, but Jessie was naturally shy.
We pulled up in front of a supermarket and Jessie turned to me with the question on her lips.
"Supplies," I said with a grin. "Come on." I stepped out, and Jessie waited for me to walk around and open her door before stepping out. I took her hand, intertwining our fingers, and she smiled me one of her small smiles as we walked into the supermarket.
"What exactly do you mean by supplies?" she asked as I pulled out a shopping trolley, steering it through the shop with one hand and pulling Jessie into my side, my arm wrapped around her. We walked along the shelves until I picked out what I needed.
"Supplies for breakfast," I said as I picked out a packet of cinnamon before moving to the freezers.
"Isn't that going to be covered?" asked Jessie as I picked out three two-litre bottles of milk.
"Technically, yes. But I promised you when you came to La Push I'd make you breakfast, remember?"
"Banana milkshakes," said Jessie with another smile as we headed to the fruit section.
"Exactly." I piled the shopping trolley with a couple kilos of bananas. "What else..." I pulled a list of ingredients that had been crumpled and re-crumpled many times, but along the edges someone had written COLLIN & JESSIE SITTING IN A TREE, F-U-C-K-I-N-G in a handwriting that looked incredibly like Brady's...
"Three tubs of yoghurt," I read off of the list – Seth, Brady and I had perfected the recipe to feed three hungry werewolves, and I was dividing everything by three now.
"What flavour?" asked Jessie as she let go of my hand to scan the shop's freezer shelf.
"Er, whatever you want," I said.
"Really?" asked Jessie tentatively. I snorted.
"Come on, you know I'd eat anything." At this Jessie laughed, and she reached up to get one of the tubs at the very top shelf. I nearly went over to help her, but as she reached up her shirt rode up a bit, revealing a few inches of smooth, pale skin. I felt my mouth go dry, but then she turned, placing the tub into the trolley. She reached again to get a second tub, but the third time I stood behind her, placing my hand on the small of her back and reaching around her to get the yoghurt. She froze, her heartbeat racing, her breathing hitched, and I smiled at the effect I had on her.
"Collin..." she said slowly.
"Hmm?" I asked ignorantly as I stepped back and placed the tub into the trolley. "What is it?"
She blinked a few times, seeming flustered. "N-Nothing."
I put my arm back around her, pulling her in close, my other hand on the shopping trolley handle. After about twenty minutes we were back to the car, loading the shopping into the back of the car. As we got into the car and I started to reverse it out of here, Kaylie said suggestively, "Well, what were you two doing that took so long?" Jessie blushed furiously and I grinned.
"Er, shopping?" asked Seth confusedly. Kay sighed and rolled her eyes and I shrugged.
"Innocent," Kaylie muttered, elbowing Seth in the ribs.
"Not if you get your way with him, right, Kaylie?" At my words both of them blushed.
When we got to Emily's there were already a whole heap of cars outside and music was pounding. Kaylie and Seth headed straight on through but as I loaded the shopping bags out of the car, I noticed that Jessie's heartbeat was crazy and her breathing was hitched, and it wasn't because I was doing anything to her.
I cupped her face again with my hand, pressing a gentle kiss to her lips. "Relax," I murmured, my forehead resting on hers, my other hand under her shirt on the smooth skin at the curve of her waist.
"I'm not good with new people," she muttered, looking at her feet. Her eyes looked grey in the light. I loved how they seemed to change colours all the time.
"I'm really not good with new people. I never say the right things or I don't say anything at all so they think I'm rude or that I don't like them or that I'm just stupi--"
"You're not stupid!" I cut in immediately, my lips catching hers again. She moaned softly, leaning into it, but I moved back.
"Your view of me tends to be..." she said softly, not finishing.
I grinned. "Rigged?"
"Yeah," she smiled softly.
"You really are beautiful though, and funny and smart and..." I trailed off, realising I'd just said this out loud. Jessie was blushing furiously now, still looking at the ground.
"You don't even have to be brave. Just smile when they say hello and they'll love you, like I do." I kissed her on the mouth again, but this time her fingers threaded through my hair and I was leaning into her, her back pressed into the side of the car. My hand was riding up her shirt, my fingers tracing the smooth skin of her neck--
"Are you two gonna come in or sit there and swap saliva all day?"
I broke off the kiss, my lips automatically feeling cold from the loss of contact.
"Brady!" I yelled. He waved enthusiastically from the front porch. "Hello Jessie!"
"Hi," she said sheepishly back, her cheeks flushed. I kissed her on the corner of her mouth, piling the shopping into my arms.
"Come on, we better go. Stick with me. And," I added as we paused on the doorstep. "Try not to stare at Emily." I lowered my voice. "She was in a bear attack a few years back, but the scars are still there."
Jessie nodded, her eyes wide. I gave her what I hoped was a reassuring smile as we stepped into the house.
The music was loud and the people talking and laughing. Around my feet ran the various offspring of Rachel and Paul, Kim and Jared and Emily and Sam, all in the terrible twos and threes. Random people kept trying to come up and hug me, while flashing knowing grins at Jessie, who looked a little overwhelmed. I didn't recognise half the people in here, most of them being from Emily's side of the family. With Jessie in tow, I somehow managed to fight my way to the relative quiet of the kitchen.
I shoved our shopping into Emily's already overstuffed fridge, while she, Kim and a few other women including Sue and Claire's mother expertly worked the microwave, oven, stove and sink at the same time.
"Hi Collin!" Emily gave me a hug, and I kissed her on the cheek. "Happy anniversary, Em. Good turn out, huh?"
Emily laughed. "Of course." She looked at Jessie appraisingly, then gave her a hug too. Jessie returned the embrace a little more awkwardly, but Emily was ranting on.
"You must be Jessie, it's so good to finally meet you! Collin's always going on about you. If you ever need anything today or ever, come to me straight away."
"Hey Em, take it easy," said a deeper voice. Sam put his hand on Emily's shoulder, gently pulling her back, as he kissed her cheek. "I'm Sam Uley, Emily's husband," he introduced himself, but not putting a hand out to Jessie. She smiled a small smile and I could tell she was nervous, but she was hiding it well. Sam was a little intimidating to say the least and his eyes flashed to Jessie – but she wasn't staring at Emily, instead watching me. I moved forward, putting an arm around Jessie's waist.
"We better go meet the rest of the pack...I'll see you around." They smiled and I pulled Jessie back into the crowd.
"Pack?" asked Jessie questioningly. I hesitated, realising my slip-up.
"Er... just a nickname for the gang. I don't know how it came around, although it probably had something to do with Sam constantly calling us a bunch of puppies."
Jessie laughed. "I can see how that applies to Brady."
I made a face. "Not all of my friends are like Brady--"
"--After all, none of them could achieve my awesomeness!" Cut in Brady himself. He stood in front of us with two cans, one in either hand, and a pair of sunglasses on his head.
"What's with the sunglasses?" I asked suspiciously.
"Oh, do you like them? They're an engagement present for Sam." Brady hiccuped, and blinked confusedly for a moment.
"Then why are you wearing them? And dude, this is his anniversary," I said after a moment.
Brady started to tear up. "So it is. Time flies by. I remember when I was your age and I had a girl like her," he pointed to Jessie. "'Cept she was a redhead. And sluttier. And I see her sometimes and I think, I miss her. I miss those days. They were good days. Happy birthday, man." He clapped me on the shoulder, sniffing and blinking rapidly, before moving on.
"Was he drunk?" asked Jessie tentatively, her eyes wide as she watched Brady running after Sam's three-year-old boy.
I snorted. "No. Those were cans of Red Bull." And it takes a lot of Red Bull to get a werewolf high.
I introduced her to all the other werewolves and their imprints – with most of the wolves making overly suggestive comments, and most of the imprints making comments about how we were so cute together, both of which made Jessie flush.
That's when a surprise of sorts came. Seth barrelled past me, wooping his head off, and Kaylie followed him, frowning slightly. I took Jessie's hand, pulling her through the crowd into Emily's living room.
"You just came here then?"
"Headed straight over."
"By plane or--" Seth cut off, glancing at the unknowing here, including my imprint. "--by, er, car?"
"Car," and I pushed through the crowd to see Jacob Black standing there with a grin on his face, and a bronze-haired beauty under his arm.
Seth's face was glowing – Jacob was like a big brother to him, and he hadn't seen Jake for a year or so since Seth's trip to Alaska – and the rest of the pack, especially Quil and Embry, were talking to him. Nessie seemed shy at first, but Emily came over and made her feel right at home, with Nessie soon smiling and laughing with the other women.
Nessie was tugging on Jacob's arm as they came to me.
"Hi!" she said, giving me a hug. "It's been awhile since I've seen you, Collin."
"You remember me?" I said, slightly shocked. The girl – no, woman – in front of me looked like she was sixteen, but the last time I'd seen Nessie she looked ten years old. Freaky mutant vampire genes.
"I have a long memory. And this must be Jessie," said Ness with a smile, and the two hugged. Jessie was quiet and her cheeks were flushed but she was smiling and relaxed – she liked Nessie.
Suddenly Jake let out a laugh.
"Jessie. That's a mix of our names. Nessie and Jake. Jessie." Nessie grinned.
"I'm going to name my kid that. Is that alright, Jessie? Can I steal your name?"
"O-Of course," spluttered Jessie, blushing harder now. I kissed her on the cheek.
"It'd be a family tradition. My full name's Renesmee – from my grandmothers, Renee and Esme, and my middle name's Carlie, after my grandfathers, Carlisle and Charlie." Nessie beamed. Jessie laughed at this and her hand tightened slightly in mine.
Jake turned to Seth next.
"So this is the girl who's been turning Seth's head in," said Jacob teasingly and to my surprise, Kaylie blushed and looked down.
"I've heard a lot about you Kaylie, it's nice to finally meet you." She dutifully hugged them both, and then Nessie went off to help Emily and Jacob and Seth began talking. Kaylie disappeared and I felt cold as Jessie moved away from me.
"Jessie?" I asked, surprised at the pleading tone in my voice. I didn't want her to go. Her face softened, and she gave me a small smile, her blue eyes shining. "I'll only be a minute."
"Ok," I gave in, kissing her on the cheek. She walked off.
I turned to find a slightly less-intoxicated Brady standing behind me. The sunglasses were gone and I saw them on Sam.
"They suit him better," I teased, and Brady laughed.
"Yeah, they probably do. I should've brought Emily a matching pair." We walked over to the garage, which had a pool table and two werewolves. Seth and Jacob who were controlling the stereo, skipping songs until a good one played. I laughed as Beyonce's Freakum Dress played.
"Good taste in music, Jake," I said. He laughed, taking a swig from his 2 litre bottle of coke. "A game," he said, eyeing the pool table. "Me and Seth versus you two."
Brady grinned. "The odds?"
"If we win," said Jake slowly, "You have to dance to this song. I'm talking pole-dancing, lap-dancing, with everyone watching." Beyonce's voice seemed slightly intimidating now.
"When we win," said Brady confidently, "You two have to... hm..." He winked suggestively at me and Seth groaned, turning to me. "We shouldn't have let him choose. Quick, Collin, make up something!"
"Nope," I said happily. "Go, Brady."
He grinned devilishly and I was suddenly glad he was on my side. "When we win, Jake has to carry Seth around the house bridal-style, while Seth holds a pink flower in his hand and insists to everyone that he's now engaged to Jacob. I want lovey-dovey couple stuff, INCLUDING kisses."
Seth swallowed, looking scared. I snickered
"You're on." Brady and Jacob shook hands, and the game begun. Brady did a victory dance – literally – when I sunk the first ball.
"Where's Leah?" I heard Jacob mutter to Seth during one of Brady's shots.
"M.I.A," said Seth sadly, and I felt sorry for the kid. His sister never turned up to these gigs, and no one ever needed to ask why.
"Let's move onto my favourite topic," said Brady, clapping his hand as Jacob lined up his shot. "Werewolf politics."
There was a "Shit!" from Jacob as his cue tipped the white ball. I went for my next shot.
"Seriously dude," said Brady. "Are you staying?"
Jacob seemed tense. "It's definitely on my mind, but-- I don't want to split up the pack. Not again."
I sunk another ball, then stood up and shrugged. "Maybe you won't. Have you tried phasing since you've come here?"
Jacob shook his head. "But...I miss it here. I saw Dad before I came here, and he's doing alright now that Rebecca and her family have moved back, but still. Plus Nessie likes it here."
"What about the Cullens?" I asked. Brady growled as Seth sunk one of their pool balls. Seth just grinned.
"Well, Bella and Edward will be coming down in the next week, I think, but just for a visit. You've had a couple extra phase since we left?" I nodded – two newbies, fourteen years old, had phased only a few months ago. "Carlisle's still worried about what the presence of the vamps will do to the werewolf population, so they're taking it slow for now."
I nodded, thinking. If Jacob should phase, and the two packs would split, where would I go? Before I had stuck with Sam because even though I hadn't wanted to become a murderer, I hadn't wanted to take any risks with the mutant spawn either. But now we knew the 'mutant spawn' was a functioning, thinking being; Seth would go with Jacob, as would Embry, Quil and Leah, that much was obvious. I shot a look at Brady.
"Sweeeeet, if you become alpha again, I'm siding with you this time."
Jacob frowned slightly. "There were never any sides, you know."
Brady shrugged. "Meh. If Seth and Embry are going to join your pack – which they will – then I will as well. What about you, Collin?"
"Jake," I said confidently, now that I knew where Brady was going. It made sense to stick by him. He was my best friend out of the wolves.
Jacob was still frowning but Seth spoke now.
"Kaylie and I are engaged."
"Congrats! Dude, after all this time, you deserve it." said Jake now, a grin on his face. Brady wiped a 'tear' from his eye.
"Our baby Sethy's all grown up. OH MY GOD can I plan the buck's party? When's the wedding?!" Brady was jumping up and down on the spot, clapping his hands. Me, Jake and Seth all watched him with wide eyes.
"Dude, calm down," I said.
"Well, I'm not exactly sure," said Seth slowly. "It's not really engagement it's just... a promise. She's my fiance now." Seth's eyes glazed over and I knew he was thinking about her – that is, until Brady shoved him.
"Yes yes imprint bliss you're gonna be together forever we totally didn't see that coming yada yada yada," said Brady. We all glared at him.
"What?!" he said as Jacob missed another shot – we had three balls to sink before the 8 ball. "I'm the odd one out here! On Valentine's Day you three are gonna go out on fluffy triple dates and I'm going to be sitting in my lounge room, watching Titanic and eating a box of Valentine's day chocolate that I bought for myself."
"Give it time," said Jacob wisely. "Your imprint will come along. Eventually."
I smirked. "Yeah, whether she's dumb enough to hang around you Brady is another story."
Brady huffed and folded his arms. "What's that supposed to mean?"
We all just started laughing and didn't reply.
Brady sunk another ball, then another – Seth was starting to grumble and my eyes kept flickering towards the stereo system – we might be winning but I didn't want to take any chances. I was seriously considering snapping the disc with Freakum Dress on it.
"You'll be dancing around to the Jonas Brothers instead," Jake warned, so I stopped.
Then it was my turn to sink the 8 ball. I lined up my shot and hit it--
"Damn," I swore as it missed. Seth and Jake only had a few balls to go.
Suddenly Brady let out a cheer and we hi-fived while Jake started swearing.
"When you hear this song," proclaimed Brady as Toxic by Britney Spears started playing, "I wanna see Seth in those arms, and I wanna see M-rated action at least." Seth shuddered and I laughed.
I felt happy and relaxed – and realised that I couldn't feel any of Jessie's tension from before. That must mean she was ok... I felt suddenly guilty at not having thought about her even though it had been so good hanging out with the guys again. Brady looked at us all, suddenly off in La La land.
"Girls are calling?" he said, and we all grinned sheepishly. He just winked. "Nice to know I can keep you occupied from them for a maximum of an hour. Go get 'em."
I took a deep breath in once I was outside of the garage, and picked up on her scent on the back lawn. Before I could start moving, however, a camera was shoved in my face and a loud voice declared, "And this is the amazing Collin Meyers!!! His hobbies include drooling over a good sample of the female species called Jessie--"
"Shuttup," I snapped half-heartedly, pushing the camera out of my face and slapping Embry over the back of his head.
"It's not my fault," he said, pointing the camera to people mingling around the place and standing around the barbecue. "Sam got it for Emily for their anniversary, to 'create memories'. But she's too busy to use it at the moment and the rest of you old geezers don't know how to work these." He became preoccupied by chasing the toddlers around, trying to get them to stand still for a moment so he could introduce them on-camera. I went straight to the back lawn – and saw Ness, Kaylie and Jessie sitting in a circle, just the three of them, laughing.
"What's the joke?" I asked as I came up behind them. They all looked at me and grinned, exchanging glances, before they burst out laughing again.
"Girl stuff," grumbled Seth behind me. "I don't think we want to know.
"Don't be silly, Seth," chided Kaylie, putting a hand up. Seth obediently took it, pulling her up, and pulling her into a hug. I bent down and hugged Jessie around the waist, lifting her up. She giggled, turning in my arms till she was facing me, her open palms flat on my chest. I watched the ominous blush tinge her cheeks as I leaned in gently, pecking her on the lips.
"I like La Push," said Jessie with a small smile.
"Good," I murmured back.
XxX
It was two in the morning and I couldn't frigging sleep.
I looked up at the night sky. In the distance the clouds were gathering, but above me I could actually see stars. Around me on tarps, sleeping bags etc the pack laid around, all asleep and most of them snoring loudly, except for Embry,Quil and Leah, who were apparently on patrol.
I kept running Jessie's face through my mind as the pack sat around the bonfire while Billy told the stories. Her eyes were wide and she was rapt as all of her attention was focussed on him and his words. At the end of it she had turned to me and said, "Wow, that was something, wasn't it?"
I was scared. I wanted to tell her about me, about us – and how much she meant to me. But she was so damned fragile, and so much had already happened to her – the fact that her boyfriend could turn into a wolf might just be the last straw.
I was tired as hell, and full of food, which always made me sleepy
But I sat there, back to the ground, face to the sky, and I couldn't sleep.
I heard a noise as the back door of the house opened and closed quietly, and in the moonlight I saw Jessie step forward, a thick blanket wrapped around her, with just a pair of slippers on. Ah, of course, imprint bond. If she couldn't sleep, neither could I.
"Jessie?" I whispered softly. Her head snapped up and next to me, Brady groaned and rolled over, still asleep.
"Collin?" she whispered back, squinting into the dark. I stood up and walked softly over to her. I pulled her into a hug – she was freezing.
"Can't sleep?" I murmured into her hair, her scent still as tantalising as ever.
"No," was all she said.
I grinned at her then. "Want to come for a walk, then?"
She frowned slightly. "Where?"
"The beach. It's a couple hundred metres from here, and we'd have to cut through the forest – is that ok?"
She just nodded, and I pulled the blanket more snugly around her. Underneath she was wearing sweatpants and a tight green singlet.
Don't stare don't stare don't stare don't stare I repeated to myself in a mantra as we weaved through the sleeping figures, and finally made it to the trees.
"Do you do this a lot? Go for midnight walks?" Jessie asked. I nearly thought she was teasing.
"Sometimes," I admitted. "I go out and pick fights with the monsters in the night, make sure they don't get you," I added cheekily.
She smiled. "Ok. It's just sometimes you leave in the middle of the night when you... sleep with me." She blushed at her words. "But you always come back and never say anything about it in the morning."
That was patrols. Since her birthday, most nights I snuck into her room and ended up sleeping with her. Not like that – I was happy enough just to be close to her. But every now and again I'd sneak out in the middle of the night to cover patrols. I always thought she was asleep when I left and asleep when I came back.
"You notice?" I asked, the surprise showing in my voice.
"Of course," she replied, looking down, still blushing. "I wake up from the cold. I'm usually awake when you come back."
Hmm. She must be a pretty good faker. Normally I can pick up on the change in her breathing patterns.
"Sorry about that," I said. "Chronic insomnia. Otherwise I'd start fiddling around in the bed and I'd wake you up." I shut my mouth as soon as I said those words, and watched Jessie blush even more.
"Not like that," I said hurriedly. "Just--"
"I know what you mean," she said softly. Her grip on my hand tightened slightly, and I squeezed her hand back reassuringly.
"Can you smell the salt?" I asked when we were a few metres away from the beach. She inhaled and then nodded, and without a word, I scooped her up into my arms, bridal-style. She screamed in surprise, her arms flying up to tighten around my neck.
Hmm, I liked this much of her pressed against me... I wasn't wearing a shirt for once, and I could feel the bare skin of her arms and neck against me, even though the blanket wrapped around her was getting in the way.
Chaste thoughts Collin, I told myself. I'm starting to sound like Brady.
I broke into a run, heading straight towards the beach. Jessie gasped and her arms tightened around me more, and she buried her face into the crook of my neck. I stopped abruptly once we broke from the line of trees, my bare feet feeling sand.
"Here," I said, gently depositing her on the sand. She jumped slightly, nearly back into my arms.
"Sorry. Sand's cold," she stammered, slipping off her shoes. I smiled, taking the blanket from around her and setting it on the sand. I laid down, moving over so there was enough room for Jessie next to me. She lay down next to me, her hand re-linking with mine. We both looked up at the stars and all I could hear was the waves gently crashing on the shore, and Jessie's gentle breaths next to me.
"I love you," I whispered. I just seemed important to say right now.
"I love you too," she replied in a soft voice. I traced my fingers over the skin of her jawbone, down to her neck, and before I knew it my eyes had closed and we had both drifted off to sleep.
XxX
BONUS: Jessie's Point of View: Girl Stuff & Banana Milkshakes
I don't know why I followed Kaylie. I still don't. I saw something in her face when Seth was talking to Jacob, and she moved off. I went to follow her, but Collin was still holding my hand.
"Jessie?" he asked, surprise in his voice, and something else. I smiled in what I hoped was a reassuring way.
"I'll only be a minute."
"Ok," he said, leaning in to kiss my cheek. I felt my heart speeding up at the contact of his hot lips on my skin.
I followed her through to the back lawn, where she was sitting in the corner, facing the forest – her back to the house. I sat down next to her, suddenly unsure of why I had followed her.
"Hi," I said softly. She turned to smile at me, and she looked sad, but thank goodness she wasn't crying. I really wouldn't know what to say then.
"Oh, sorry Jessie," she said with a small smile. "I didn't see you there."
"Is something up?" I asked, wincing slightly. The question was kind of blunt.
But Kaylie seemed to shake her head, her fingers threading through her hair. "No. Well, yes. I don't know..."
"You and Seth aren't fighting, are you?" I said, although I couldn't see how she and Seth were fighting. He was so carefree and she came off as very confident. Most people were intimidated by Christie but she wasn't.
"Well, it's... it's kind of a long story."
"I'm sorry," I said quickly, the words stumbling out of my mouth. "I shouldn't ask..."
She smiled at me then, genuinely. "No, it's ok. It's just... there's a reason we're engaged. And I thought it was a kind of good idea at the time but now I'm worried that I might have pushed him into it. Sorry, I'm loading onto you."
I shrugged. "It's fine. Really," I added when she looked unsure. "And I get the impression that Seth would do anything for you."
"That's the problem! He would do almost anything for me, except--" she cut it off. "Don't worry. Unless Collin's told you?" she added guiltily. I cocked my head.
"He hasn't told me anything. How would he know?"
Kaylie just shrugged. "The guys... they don't tend to keep secrets. All too loud-mouthed, I guess," she said sardonically and I grinned.
"No but... he won't... argh. I don't know how to put this without sounding weird," Kaylie finally muttered. And suddenly it clicked. I blushed even as I said the words.
"Go all the way?"
"Yes!" Kaylie finally yelled, waving her hands in the air. "It's ridiculous! I love him, and he loves me, and yet he won't... do anything about it. I mean look at how hot Collin is," Kaylie added. "Imagine if he was sleeping in your bed every night, and you had been practically going out for years, and yet he refused to do anything past kissing. How annoying would that be?"
I was blushing furiously at the thought of Collin in that way... not that I hadn't imagined it, of course. He was Collin, for goodness sake. I'd seen him shirtless before, I'd be lying if I didn't say I hadn't thought about seeing him like that again. But we'd never gotten to that stage, just kissing, and typical me was too shy, too damned nervous to start anything else.
"It's... annoying," I finally managed to mutter. "But, what's that got to do with Seth proposing to you?"
"He reckons he wasn't going to ruin my purity," muttered Kaylie bitterly, and an 'aw' escaped me despite myself. She looked at me.
"Well, it-it's kinda sweet," I managed to stammer, looking at my hands the whole time. "Most teenage guys don't even consider that sort of thing."
Kaylie smiled a bit then. "Oh yes, I'm the one trying to get into his pants and he's the one demanding a ring," she said, and we both laughed.
"But seriously," I said, trying to figure how to word it right. "Maybe... you should listen to him. It's really sweet and you're not going to find that in many guys. Seth's... special." We laughed again, and Kaylie smiled.
"Yeah, I guess. Thanks."
We heard someone clear their throat. "Hi, can I sit with you guys?"
We turned and saw Renesmee standing behind us. "Sure," said Kaylie, and she sat down in front of us, so we formed a sort of triangle. I started ripping up pieces of the lawn, unsure of what to say, when Kaylie spoke up.
"Where are the guys?"
"Playing pool," said Renesmee as she rolled her eyes. "They've probably made some ridiculous bet about it, too."
Kaylie grinned. "Not Seth. He would never do anything so rule-breaking."
Renesmee snorted. "With Jacob in the lead? Hell yes."
"Kinda like Collin following Brady around," I muttered, tensing to what the girl's responses would be. But instead they both laughed.
"No," said Kaylie, "Brady goes off on his own adventures, usually involving porn, and Collin follows him because Collin's the one who has to save Brady's butt." We all laughed at that.
I couldn't help but watch Renesmee as our conversation. She was heart-breakingly beautiful. Long slender legs, a cherubic face, big brown eyes and beautiful bronze hair. Kaylie was beautiful too – she had the perfect figure, and all-over golden tanned skin, but there was something almost surreal about Renesmee that I couldn't put my finger on.
"This isn't a bit weird," teased Kaylie. "Last time I saw Nessie you were ten years old, and this is the first time I've met you, Jess, and here we are chatting away like old friends," she said with a smile. Nessie laughed, then gasped.
"Oh my God! Have you taught her about persuasion?" Ness asked Kaylie, who shook her head.
"What's that..." I asked cautiously, not sure what I was getting myself into.
"Let me put it this way," said Kaylie with a glance at Nessie – I wonder what that meant? - "When guys like Seth or Collin or Jacob fall, they fall hard. 100% all the way, as in you now mean the world to them. So if you ever want anything from them, you just have to ask them... the right way."
"What do you mean?" I said, tilting my head to the side. It was a habit I'd picked up from Anna.
"Whenever you're asking them anything, play with your hair," said Kaylie.
"Widen your eyes and look straight into theirs," added Nessie.
"The pout always wins Seth over."
"Hmm," said Nessie. "Jacob's 'weakness'" (she used air quotations) "is looking up at him, like this." She suddenly ducked her head, then looked up from under her lashes with a small smile. I laughed.
"Bet you practise that one," said Kaylie with a grin. "But don't forget, he can use it against you, too." She sighed melodramatically. "Puppy eyes," she muttered, and Nessie nodded in some sort of mutual agreement.
"Remember, under all that muscle they're just softies," said Ness.
"Under a lot of frigging muscle," muttered Kaylie under her breath. For a moment we all looked at each other, then burst out laughing.
"What's the joke?" asked a deep familiar voice behind me and I turned to see Collin.
"Girl stuff," muttered Seth from behind him. "I don't think we want to know."
"Don't be silly, Seth," Kaylie teased, reaching a hand out towards him. Seth took it, pulling her up, and wrapped his arms around her. I felt warm arms go around my waist and I was being pulled up. I giggled, twisting in his arms so I was facing him. I could feel the heat in my cheeks.
"I like La Push," I confessed. Even though I'd barely said any words in that conversation, I had felt... comfortable.
"Good," he murmured back, his lips close to my ear.
Suddenly I heard a song start playing and Britney Spears' voice came over the stereo.
"Baby can't you see, I'm calling.
A guy like you should wear a warning..."
Seth groaned. "Do we have to..."
Collin snickered. "Yeah. Get to it, loverboy."
I had no idea what they were on about. All I know is that in the next minute I saw Jacob walking through the crowd with Seth in his arms. I swear, I saw Seth giggle and slap Jacob on the shoulder, then kiss him on the cheek.
I stared at them and heard Brady from behind me.
"Ah yes, I knew their feminine side was there somewhere. I'm just helping them go public." Instinctively, me, Collin and Brady all looked at Kaylie and Ness.
"Oh yeah, I am so jealous right now," said Ness, pretending to glare at Seth.
"Kinky," said Kaylie as she watched the couple. "Hmm, I could get used to that scene..."
We all started laughing when we saw Jake sprinting across the lawn with Seth in his arms.
"You're gonna drop me!!!" screeched Seth, his hands tightening around Jake's neck.
"Get lost Embry!!!" roared Jake. They turned around the corner and a few seconds later we saw Embry running after them, a video camera in hand. "Come on Jake, just a few seconds!"
"Er, guys?" Collin called half-heartedly after them. "The song's over."
Brady whacked him over the head. "Don't ruin the entertainment."
XxX
I couldn't sleep. I don't know if it was all the hype after the party or if Brady had spiked my drinks with Red Bull – all I know was that my body was tired from the long day, but my mind was still racing. I felt cold and I pulled the blanket tighter around me, but I knew I was still missing the warmth.
I paused, wondering if I should... sometimes when Collin slept with me, I watched him sleep. He looked so adorable then, his lips parted open slightly, his eyes tightly closed, his chest rising up and down in a steady rhythm... or maybe it was just me ogling his chest. All I know is that if I woke up in the middle of the night, watching him usually got me back to sleep.
I crept around Kaylie's form on a mattress on the floor – she'd insisted that I'd got the couch – and went out to where I thought the back door was. I opened it and the cool night air greeted me, making me tighten the blanket around me.
"Jessie?" I heard him whisper. I squinted into the dark, trying to find him.
"Collin?" I whispered back. I saw a dark figure move through the people, and as he approached me he wrapped his arms around me. I couldn't help but shudder as hit hot skin hit me. Goosebumps were all up and down my arms, but it wasn't from the cold.
"Can't sleep?" he mumured, his hot breath washing over me. I don't think he realised he was shirtless. I could feel his bare chest and stomach, ripped and all, pressed up against me.
"No," I managed to squeak out.
"Want to come for a walk?" I saw his smile in the moonlight.
"Where?" I asked.
"The beach. It's a couple hundred metres from here, and we'd have to cut through the forest – is that ok?" I nodded, and he pulled back, tightening the blanket around me. I linked his hand with mine, intertwining our fingers.
"Do you do this a lot? Go for midnight walks?" I finally blurted out. I'd been meaning to bring this up for awhile...
"Sometimes," he said. "I go out and pick fights with the monsters in the night, make sure they don't get you," he said jokingly, but I just smiled. "Ok. It's just that..." how to put this. "Sometimes you leave in the middle of the night when you... sleep with me." I blushed. Shit. Don't think of that... don't think of... My blush deepened at the visual image. I swear, I started hyperventilating...
"You notice?" he sounded surprised.
"Of course. I wake up from the cold," I confessed. "I'm usually awake when you come back."
"Sorry about that. Chronic insomnia. Otherwise I'd start fiddling around in the bed and I'd wake you up." My blush deepened at his words, as my hormones translated his words into their kind of language.
"Not like that," he said quickly. "Just--"
"I know what you mean," I said quietly. He was with me – it as asking for too much for him to like me that way, as well. He squeezed my hand and I smiled.
"Can you smell the salt?" he asked after a few minutes. I took in a deep breath and nodded. Suddenly I was rushing from the floor, and my side was pressed up against his bare chest, while heated arms were carrying me – one underneath my legs, the other underneath my arms – and I shrieked, my arms tightening around his neck. He started running, faster than I ever could, and I felt the wind through my hair, and on my face. He halted when we were on the sand.
"Here," he said, tipping his arms so I landed on the sand. I jumped at the feeling of the cold sand on my feet.
"Sorry, sand's cold," I mumbled, slipping off my shoes. He took the blanket from around me and spread it out on top of the sand. He lay down and I lay down next to him, automatically reaching across to hold his hand again. I loved the link between us. He was watching the stars, but I couldn't help but focus on his face. He was heartbreakingly beautiful – perfect, and I suddenly wanted to pull a paper bag over my head and hide my own imperfection. My self esteem was low as it is but the best – or worst – part is that all he seemed to do was compliment me, and look at me like I was the beautiful one.
"I love you," he whispered. He had no idea what those words really meant to me.
"I love you too." His heated fingertips traced my jawline, then dipped down to my neck. His touch was like a lullaby, and I felt my eyes closing despite myself.
XxX
When I woke up I thought it was a dream, because I was on Emily's couch. I shut my eyes, trying to lull myself back into sleep. It had been a good dream.
"Oh no, you don't," murmured a deep voice. I sighed. The dream might be good, but real life was better...I blushed at my thought. It was such a corny line.
"Collin! Can you wake up Brady?" called someone – I think Emily. I heard him chuckle, then hot lips were pressed against my forehead. "That's calling on the impossible. I'll need a bucket of water and a foghorn."
I opened my eyes as he was walking out the door, then stood up. Kaylie came out into the lounge room then, a towel wrapped around her hair and my rucksack in her arms.
"Here, you'll need this. Shower's first to the right," she said, throwing the bag to me. I caught it clumsily, then headed off.
When I came back out half an hour later, my hair in a single braid down my back, I was wearing dark denim skinnies (I have an addiction to jeans), a red singlet with lace edging and my green hoodie. I blushed when I saw Collin watching me as I stepped outside – staring, even. I hate to sound clichéd, but when he looked at me like that... I don't know. I felt like I was worth something.
It was kind of an unfamiliar feeling to me.
Brady elbowed him and muttered something. Collin actually blushed and he moved forward, clearing his throat. "I owe you this." He handed me a tall glass and I grinned.
Banana milkshake. "Morning to you to," I said with a shy smile, as I leaned up and kissed him on the lips. They felt cold, and tasted like the milkshake.
I took a tentative sip – after all, I hadn't forgotten Collin's attempt to help me cook a cake for my birthday – but it felt good, the perfect mix, plus the tinge of honey.
"Mmm," I couldn't help but groan, licking the last of it off my lips. I blushed when I realised that Collin was watching my lips and my tongue.
"Dude! What did I say about drooling?" said Brady from behind him. That snapped Collin out of it, but instead of looking ashamed, he moved forward, placed his hands at my hips, and kissed me. Much deeper this time.
Not that I was complaining.
And it really was a good milkshake.
I'm staring at my feet
My cheeks are turning red
And I'm searching for the words inside my head
'Cause I'm feeling nervous
Tryin' to be so perfect
'Cause I know you're worth it
AN: What do you think??? :O I had lots of important things that I had to ramble on about, but I can't remember most of them.
Oh yes! Updates may be a little slow from now on. I've taken on a lot this term but I'm leaving the weekend for working on this, so I'm aiming for weekly updates. The next chapter of this I already have heaps down, and it's definitely a turning point for the story... so keep an eye out.
BIIGGGG APOLOGIES for my lack of replies to reviews, but please know that your thoughts are appreciated! Haha :D
I have to thank Kyliez for all of her song searching & recs!!! I am indebted to you ;) And a big thanks to Izzy for semi-betaing this chapter... she knows what I mean.
Love,
Lena xo
Thankyou to all my reviewers: jblc77, Kyliez, genies9 (how I wish I could forget .), Lily CullenSalvatore, eeyore-ft-tigger, BloodlustedInk07, rachbehappy, H0llaSDC, j-k-l-m-n-o-p, Twilighter0100, Brookieb1996, xBliberingxHumdingerx, smile01. Special shout out to runs with myths and rubyprincess57 for having the same birthdays as people in this story :D and to . for your incessant poking XDLove always to the Jivali team, Izzy, Indie & Jerri, love you lots xx If you are missing from this list, don't hesitate to yell at me!!!