AN: I wasn't planning on updating again so soon, but there was just an earthquake where I live, and I don't think I'll be getting back to sleep soon…so I figured why not make some good use of my time and write another chapter?
Mary waited at the hospital each day for a sign of her husband. "You should go home and sleep, I'll send for you the second he arrives." Sybil told her, but each day she shook her head, and replied "No, I've got to be here when he comes… what if he's awake, or in pain? He'll need me." Three days she waited, and she began to think he might never come, when Sybil came and shook her from her light sleep.
"Mary, wake up! He's here, he's unconscious, but he's here." Sybil helped pull Mary up, and Mary adjusted her dress over her ever growing stomach. "How is he Sybil… does he look…" Mary couldn't finish, images of the war scarred soldiers flashed in her head. Would she even recognize her beloved Matthew? "He looks fine, a few scrapes and scars, but I don't quite know what's wrong with him, other than perhaps internal damage…" Sybil thought aloud, causing Mary to cringe. "Take me to him, please." Mary begged her sister, who took her hand and led her to one of the blocked off beds.
"Oh Matthew!" Mary sighed as she looked at him, he looked as he did when he'd slept beside her in that blissful week they'd shared. "He needs to be washed… Maybe you should go Mary, sometimes it's quite gruesome," "I'm his wife Sybil, and I'll help him in every way I possibly can. Now should the water be warm, or hot?" Mary asked as she grabbed a basin. "Warm more than hot." Sybil told her gently. Mary nodded and disappeared for a moment before reappearing with water and sponges.
"Shall we begin?' Mary asked and Sybil nodded. "We must be very careful though, we don't know yet the extent of his injury." Sybil explained. Mary bit her lip and nodded, holding her hand to her stomach for a moment nauseous, and waited until it passed, and began to help Sybil before she could object.
Mary sat at his bedside for what felt like days, leaving only because she knew she must eat and sleep if there child was to stay healthy. He stayed unconscious two entire days, though Doctor Clarkson assured her it was because of the amount of morphine he'd been on before arriving, and the stress of travel. But Mary was determined to be the first thing he saw upon waking.
On that day, she felt for the first time a small kick against her hand, causing her to gasp. "You know he's here, don't you my dear one? Yes, Papa is home at last… hurt, but he's home. When he wakes, perhaps he will talk to you as well, because I know that he loves you." Mary smiled.
"Mary…" Mary nearly jumped out of her skin as she'd been so lost in the world of her child she'd not noticed Matthew's eyelids fluttering. "Matthew, darling, are you waking?" Mary reached for his hand, and took it gently. "Mary…who were you talking to?" He asked quizzically. His head spun… was he home? Was he dead? No, that would mean Mary would have to be as well.
"Oh… I was talking to our baby." Mary admitted, feeling foolish. Matthews's eyes focused again, and he looked over Mary, noticing her rounded figure. "I was right." He smiled at her. "You usually are, what about this time?" Mary smiled, glad to have him wake in good spirits. "You're more beautiful now than I've ever seen you." He whispered hoarsely. Mary 's eyes filled with happy tears as emotion over took her. "Matthew, I love you!" Mary leaned to kiss him on the cheek, and he smiled "I love you too darling." "I'm going to go tell Doctor Clarkson that you're awake." Mary brushed her hand through his hair softly, and easing herself off of the chair.
"Doctor Clarkson, he's awake!" Mary said as she approached him from behind. "Oh, yes wonderful. Lady Mary, I've been meaning to talk to you privately, but I've been so busy." "Whatever for?" Mary asked. "I thought I should let you know exactly what is wrong with Mr. Crawley." Dr. Clarkson explained. Mary bit her lip and nodded. "He's suffered some severe damage to his spine, and from what it looks like now he will probably be paralyzed from the waist down for the rest of his life" Mary felt as if her whole world stopped. It was all so unfair, that he could make it through so much of the war, unscratched, and that he would have to return home paralyzed! She knew she should count her blessings, and be thankful, she'd heard that William was near to death, and Matthew was very much alive.
"Lady Mary, are you alright?" Dr. Clarkson asked when he became aware that she wasn't listening. "Yes… I'm quite alright, thank you. Now, does Matthew know the extent of his injuries?" Mary asked. "Probably not." Dr. Clarkson shook his head. Mary felt suddenly faint. "Will you tell him please, doctor… I can't." Mary's voice became thick with tears. "Of course. I can do it now, if you'd like." Mary nodded, "Yes, it would be best if he knew sooner." "You should go home and rest Mary. So much stress isn't good for an expectant woman." He patted her shoulder gently. "I will go home Doctor, in a little while, once Matthew has gone back to sleep." Mary insisted as she went to find a place to sit.
Sybil, who was on her rounds, saw her sister sitting numbly on a chair. "Mary?" Sybil asked as she approached. "Did you know?" Mary asked, looking up at her sister. Sybil nodded guiltily as she understood. "And you didn't think it might be good to tell me?" Mary choked. "Doctor Clarkson swore me to secrecy. I'm sorry." Sybil patted her hand apologetically. "I don't know how Matthew will handle this." Mary wiped away her tears. "It will all be alright." Sybil insisted with a smile.
She saw Doctor Clarkson step out from where Matthew was, and Sybil helped her out of her chair. "I must be with him now. He needs me." Mary straightened herself out, and made sure there were no more tears on her cheeks. She passed Doctor Clarkson without a word, and stepped in with Matthew. He lay there numbly, his eyes fixed on nothing imparticular. "Matthew?" Mary asked softly as she again took her seat beside him.
He looked at her, and then looked away in shame. "You've heard?" He asked, his voice thick with pain. "Yes." Mary whispered. "And you're still here?" "Of course I am, where else would I be?" Mary asked in confusion. "Mary, I'm a cripple now. I'm not the man who married you." Matthew insisted. "You are though Matthew." Mary reached for his hand, but he pulled it away. "Mary, you don't seem to understand. I can't be a proper husband, because of this." Matthew paused while his words sunk in. Mary gasped… of course if he was paralyzed from the waist down he couldn't… "Matthew, that hardly matters." Mary insisted. "You know it does. You deserve someone better." Matthew's heart hurt as he said the words, but he only wanted what was best for the woman he loved.
"I've already got the best there is." Mary whispered, and grabbed his hand in hers. "Mary, you act as if this doesn't matter, but years from now, when your life is caring for me, when I can't give you children, I can't be your lover…I know you'll start to resent me." His heart ached as he spoke the words. "Matthew Crawley, look at me. You've already given me a child. Our child that we made together. And you will be here, to be this child's father, because that is what you are." Mary insisted. "The poor child, whose father can't play with it because he's bound to a chair." Tears started to spill from his eyes as he pictured it.
Mary took the hand she was holding, and pressed it to her stomach, where the contact was met with a small kick. "Do you feel that Matthew? This baby is going to love you no matter what. We gave it life, together! Without you, it wouldn't exist right now, and it will always need you. Do you understand me?" Mary said firmly. Matthew's tears turned to small sobs. "God, I love you so much Mary." He said. Mary smiled at him and leaned in to kiss away his tears. "I love you too Matthew. For better, or for worse, in Sickness and in health." Mary quoted her wedding vows softly.
Soon, she heard his breathing even, and knew he was asleep. "See, my little one, I told you that the two of us would have to cheer Papa. You're doing a very good job of it, and you're not yet born. Oh how I love you." Mary whispered as she stroked her stomach.
"Mary? You should really go sleep." Sybil insisted as she came to check in on Matthew. "I know… but I can't bear the thought of him being alone." Mary objected. "My shift is over, I'll sit with him while you're home. You need the rest. Think of your child." Sybil pulled Mary Up again and kissed her sister's cheek. "You're right… I hate that you're right but you are." Mary sighed as she looked back at Matthew once more. "Don't worry Mary, I'll make sure he is comfortable. Honestly, I already sent for the car, because I was hoping you'd listen to me for once." Sybil teased.
Mary nodded and stretched her back. "Thank you dear, I don't know what I'd do without you." Mary walked away before she could look back again, and kept her head forward until she was being helped into the car by Branson. "Good Afternoon Lady Mary." He said as he opened her door. "Branson, if I fall asleep, please, just let me be." Mary sighed as she settled comfortably in the back seat. "Yes My lady." Branson smiled, and indeed in a matter of moments she was comfortably asleep in the back seat.
AN: Another chapter! Whoo.