Disclaimer: Please don't sue. I don't own POTO... All I own is an overactive imagination.

Summary: ErikRaoul slash. Post-POTO. A bit of R/C (yeah). General discontent runs through the characters as they are forced to adjust their views of happily ever after. I guess a bit of E/C as well (but that's usually unavoidable)

Warning(s): slash (that's homosexual content for those of you who don't know)

Pairing(s): ErikRaoul

A/N: Same old format, but once this fic is done, I'll be using the other format for fics. This one wastes too much space, don't you think? Oh yeah, and sorry it's late; I was just being really stupid thinking I had a day off from writing.

Story Note: Progress was bound to occur, albeit slowly.

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Reluctantly Willing

Chapter 14 - … to smile

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By: Lucifer Rosemaunt

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If Raoul had known that allowing the ghost free reign in his home for his supposed help would change their very way of life, he might've asked what exactly the ghost had been thinking, might've taken more than a second thought before deciding to give in so easily. It was too late now. He'd given in, and since he really had no idea himself how he was planning to move on from Christine, the ghost's suggestions – they were actually orders – were the only things that he could do to make him feel like he was at least moving in the right direction.

As he finally finished packing the last of Christine's clothes into a box that the ghost had somehow procured, he looked around the bare room. Her clothes and accessories were gone; the curtains, the beddings, all changed. He'd just barely managed to convince the ghost that they hadn't needed to get rid of the entire bed and miscellaneous furniture; he'd only managed such a feat by threatening that if the ghost did do anything, then he could just take the money he'd "earned" from his salary at the opera house to replace them all. That suggestion had been met with a glare and a mumbled retort of "I wouldn't spend a single franc on you." As if Raoul had expected any other response. He scoffed; he was certain that if the ghost had his way, he would just burn the entire room and rebuild it.

Raoul doubted even that would work in keeping him from being reminded of Christine. Although the room was bare, it still reminded him of her. How could it not? She had spent more time in her room than anywhere else in the house, knowing that he would never enter her room uninvited, and since she never invited him, well, he never went in. The fact that it had been his den before her arrival meant nothing. This room was hers, forever engraved in his mind as hers.

However, like the ghost promised, Christine, the physical Christine, was being further removed from his life. Months of her presence was suddenly gone in just a few days. There had been a lot of things, too. Clothes that Raoul had bought her because he thought that maybe he could make her happy, make her feel at home enough so that they could start a new life together. He'd bought her jewelry because he knew how she'd used to look into those stores with such open appreciation. He wasn't sure she'd ever worn them. They were all gone now, packed into neat boxes. It was odd to even think about how quickly and easily she had gone.

He didn't even know if he was really beginning to feel better. He knew that his appetite had returned, but figured it was mostly because of all the heavy lifting that he'd been doing. Besides that, nothing else seemed to really change.

Picking up this last box he'd packed, he brought it downstairs to place in the sitting room with the others. When he arrived in the room, the ghost was standing by the fireplace. Raoul placed the box down, watching the ghost the whole time. It was odd. The ghost never left his side. Ever. He refused to allow him the slightest bit of privacy, but whenever there was a heavy box that needed carrying or any particular strenuous activity, the ghost managed to always conveniently disappear. If Raoul asked for help, the man would downright refuse. So, he didn't bother asking him for help anymore. It was his burden anyway. He would never move on if he allowed other people to do the work for him; at least, that's what the ghost had been saying to him constantly when he suggested the servants could simply do it.

The man's constant presence was becoming slightly annoying though. Raoul didn't even have to wonder where the ghost was nowadays because he was just there, and from the looks of it, just staring at him in disdain. Maybe it was disgust, Raoul couldn't be absolutely certain even though the ghost didn't have a mask on. It was still a little comforting to see the ghost's deformity though. It kept his mind in the present. Had he been forced to look at the porcelain mask every day, then he certainly would have gone mad. He'd only be reminded of their time at the opera house when a happy ending had been in his grasp. Now, the ghost's face only reminded him of their life after, the one that hadn't been perfect, the one that had already been leading to this point.

When it came down to it though, he couldn't help but think of her. His fingers would find a piece of cloth that was smooth; rubbing it between his fingers, he would think of her. Her skin had been smooth. He'd see a color that reminded him of her eyes, her hair, her skin. He'd hear a noise and would still think it was her footsteps walking down the hall. The door would open and he'd think it was her. He didn't know why, but everything reminded him of her.

Everything but the ghost, he thought as he approached said man. As what the ghost was doing came into sight, he rushed forward, staying the man's hand as he held a shawl towards the fire.

"What are you doing?" Raoul grabbed his hand when the ghost looked as though he wasn't going to stop.

The ghost elbowed him away. "What does it look like?" Erik rolled his eyes.

"It looks like you're burning her things," Raoul replied, almost shouting. He grabbed the shawl away from him and looked down at the boxes. The ghost was already halfway through a second box of her things.

"What else are you going to do with them?" Erik shrugged. "Revisit when you're being particularly pathetic?" He mocked.

"No," Raoul said defensively. He definitely hadn't thought of doing so. The main reason he had agreed to put all her things away was so that he wouldn't give into that weakness and return to her room to look through her things. "I was going to send it to Madame Giry."

Erik looked between the box and the fire. "I like my idea better." He grabbed and picked up a lacy chemise and threw it into the fire before Raoul could stop him.

"No," Raoul was just about the reach into the fire when Erik saw that he really didn't care that he was going to get burned. Grabbing him around the waist, Erik lifted him up and pulled him practically across the room. Raoul struggled for only a moment, watching something he had given Christine go up in flames. He'd wanted her to have something to remember him by, and of course, that chemise wasn't the only thing, but still. If he sent her things to Madame Giry then she'd be able to find Christine and then, Christine would have something of her old life. She'd still have a piece of their relationship with her.

Once he placed Raoul down, Erik shook his head in exasperation and asked, "Why do you seek to be nice to her?" When Raoul's attention was still on the fire, Erik forcibly turned his face so that they would have eye contact. "She thinks nothing of you," Erik said, knowing exactly how blunt he was being.

"I," Raoul frowned, but didn't look back towards the fire. He glared at the ghost before walking out of the room. Once out, he covered his face with his hands. The ghost was right. She'd made it rather clear with her departure what she thought about him. She didn't want to remember him, didn't care to.

He didn't need to turn around to know that the ghost was close behind. He'd learned that he couldn't outrun the man.

"You still think of her," Erik stated as an observation though it was accusatory, "Don't think I don't know."

Raoul stopped and for the first time since Christine left, actually felt the need to yell at another person. He turned around, furious. "Of course I think of her. I can't just forget her in a few days. I've been surrounded by her clothes, her smell, her memory."

He expected the ghost to get violent again. It seemed that was the only reaction Raoul could get out of the man, anger and violence. He was ready to fight if the ghost tried to grab him again. Instead, the man asked rather calmly, "What else reminds you of her?"

Raoul paused, thrown off by the change of pace. He was still angry though, and remembering their last argument, said pointedly, "The whole room."

"You'll stay in your own," Erik replied.

Raoul blushed thinking of the ghost's smell. He shook his head. The ghost was currently still in his room. He'd been staying in his den, and while he still couldn't sleep through the night, it was becoming a bit uncomfortable. All he knew was that the ghost hadn't allowed him to sleep anywhere else. If he took his bedroom back, then he wondered where that would place the ghost. "No, I'll stay where I am."

"Yes. You will sleep in your own bed," Erik said with finality, and Raoul knew that he would have no choice in the matter. The ghost was simply too stubborn, and he didn't have the will or energy to fight him about a bed.

Erik continued, "And what else?" When Raoul didn't reply quickly enough, he pressed, "Hurry up. I'll solve all of your problems right now." He believed that the blonde was making things unnecessarily complicated. It shouldn't be that difficult to move on for the boy; he had his whole life ahead of him, and as long as it had nothing to do with Christine, then Erik was willing to push him towards that.

Raoul glared at the man who was taking control of his life. Trying to prove a point, he said, "You," even though it was a lie.

"Me?" Erik could see how that would be true.

"Shouldn't I just get rid of you, too?" Raoul asked with false innocence.

Letting out a short bark of laughter, Erik shook his head, "You wish. So, tell me why I remind you of her?"

Raoul looked at him in confusion. "What do you mean? How could you not?"

"I'm not leaving," he replied.

"How do you," Raoul asked, desperately wanting to know the answer to why the ghost was still here, "even begin to justify that in your mind?"

"I'll remind you of your failure," Erik stated pointedly.

Raoul flinched and looked away. "What?"

"Your failing is an important reminder of why you should move on," Erik stated all too reasonably.

Shutting his eyes, in hopes that he wouldn't feel that particular sting of truth, Raoul didn't argue further. His answer had certainly backfired on him. He didn't need the ghost to further prove how he couldn't win a battle with the man's logic. Defeated, he asked on principle alone, "You really are not going to leave me be?"

Erik replied harshly, "Are you daft or do you intentionally forget the things I tell you?"

Jaw tensing, Raoul wondered why this man managed to bring up emotions he had thought impossible to feel again. He tersely answered, "I guess I would have to say the latter, Monsieur Ghost."

o.o.o

Erik stared at the ceiling, only momentarily closing his eyes to enjoy the feel of the bed. He'd grown quite fond of it in the days that had passed. Rolling over to his side quietly, he looked over the edge of the bed to watch as Raoul slept – and he hated the fact that in his mind, he thought of the blonde as Raoul and not the Vicomte any longer. After spending so much time together, he couldn't help it. They'd spent almost every single moment of the day together. "Vicomte" was simply a title; he was watching the boy not the title.

He'd actually insisted that Raoul take the bed because his general plan had been to accustom the blonde to what life should be like without Christine. It seemed like a simple, yet effective plan, one that required the least amount of effort from him. He only wanted Raoul to never chase after Christine; he didn't need him to be healthy and well-adjusted. Erik could have easily slept on the floor, just to ensure Raoul didn't try to leave in the middle of the night of course. He'd slept in worse places in his lifetime, but the boy had managed to make things difficult again. Whenever Erik had slept on the floor, Raoul would sleep on the floor as well to prove a point. Eventually, they compromised and took turns sleeping on the bed. He'd only agreed to such a compromise because he was not going to let the bed go to waste. He'd almost been annoyed enough to just tell the boy that they would sleep together if that's what it took for him to stay in his own bed, especially when every other word out of the boy's mouth managed to be "Monsieur Ghost."

He knew Raoul was doing it on purpose. The boy may be compliant but he somehow managed to always resist and provoke him in the smallest ways. The constant repetition of Monsieur Ghost actually irked him even more than when he saw the boy think about Christine. That was probably because he didn't think Raoul thought of her on purpose. The blonde was making an effort, but he wasn't doing a good enough job of it. Erik could tell when he thought of Christine. His jaw would tense, his eyes would glaze over if they weren't squeezed shut, and he would be unusually irate for the few minutes that followed.

Those were the moments that Erik rather enjoyed. Raoul was no longer the compliant boy that he'd become since Christine's departure. It was in those moments that Erik saw him rather confrontational and alive. He could see the fight that was still buried somewhere inside him, but was too tired to let out all the time.

Erik frowned, realizing that he almost wanted that Raoul to wake up. He wanted him to stop being so lackluster, so defeated.

That wasn't his ultimate goal though, right? His goal was the make sure he was defeated and stayed that way.

It was all becoming so complicated than what he'd first thought would happen. He didn't know how he'd make the boy forget about Christine completely, wasn't sure he could do it anymore. His initial plan, he'd come to realize, had some major flaws in it. He wasn't willing just yet to give up though. All the effort he placed now would affect what would happen later on when he did finally find Christine; he was convinced of that fact.

So, he kept an eye on Raoul to gauge just how much progress he was making. During breakfast, he watched as the boy ate as though it were a chore – at least he was eating in the first place. That much had changed. Raoul would look up at him and frown at random times. Erik only stared back. He had realized some time after he'd decided to stay at the Chagny estate that he should probably leave to find a mask, but he'd gotten so accustomed without it. Raoul wasn't complaining and Erik wasn't going to be the first to bring it up.

He watched as the boy conducted business because he'd managed to focus enough to stop being truant in his duties. Erik was almost impressed at how efficient and well Raoul could handle his affairs. Almost. He watched as he struggled everyday because not a day had passed yet that Raoul had not thought of Christine.

o.o.o

Raoul watched the ghost because it really was the only thing he could do when they were together most of the time. They were outside, the ghost having decided that they should take a walk around the estate. It had sounded like a good idea even though at the moment, neither of them had said anything for the duration of their walk. He hadn't actually expected that they would talk because what would they talk about, the weather? It was just surprisingly awkward. When the ghost shadowed him throughout the day, they never spoke unless Raoul did something the ghost deemed worthy of criticism. There were actually quite a bit of things that apparently warranted mocking. This though, this seemed too normal for them. The ghost couldn't criticize him on the way he walked and he wasn't willing to try to start up a meaningless or meaningful conversation. So, he just observed the man.

After so much time, Raoul still couldn't figure him out. He understood that the ghost was only helping him in order to help himself. That much was obvious. The ghost hated him; there would be no reason for him to be kind in turn without ulterior motives. He just wondered when the ghost would leave. The longer he stayed at the estate, the more time Christine would have to run even further away from them. It was becoming increasingly difficult to track her with each passing day that the ghost stayed with him instead of going out to find her. It didn't make any sense.

Knowing that, he couldn't help but feel a little grateful. Even though the ghost's presence was distracting and was making him almost desperately want to be alone, the man was actually helping. The knowledge that he was under constant surveillance from the ghost made him conscious of his own thoughts so that he was beginning to become better at censoring Christine from his own thoughts. He actually wasn't certain if it was because of the ghost or if it was simply time, but he knew that she was slowly becoming less important in his mind.

However, whenever he did think of her, it was more intense than he'd want to admit. It was like a wave of sorrow would hit. He'd remember all at once of what she meant to him and what they could have had, what they should have had. It was like a blow to the stomach. It took every ounce of will he had to make sure he didn't just allow that single emotion of despair to linger; every time, he wanted to simply wallow in the pain, to give up the futile struggle of trying to forget the love of his life because that was what she was, wasn't it? He'd loved her as a child and that emotion had persisted. He couldn't imagine not loving her. When those thoughts crossed his mind, he'd always get angry with himself because after everything the ghost had done, he still couldn't remember the important fact that Christine didn't love him and that it was pointless to really think about her any longer.

He already knew it for himself. He'd known it when they had been engaged to be engaged. He'd just hoped since that had been the only thing she'd ever really given him, but there was no hope any longer. There was no reason to continue to love her. The fact was that he still couldn't help it.

He bit the inside of his cheek as the pain hit again. Squeezing his eyes shut, he tried to ignore how his chest ached enough to make him want to double over. He stayed upright though. The ghost was watching.

Erik saw Raoul tense and close his eyes. He smirked, ignoring the flare of anger that came with the knowledge that Raoul was still thinking of her. He paused that train of thought, realizing that he hadn't thought of her at all in the past few days. Then again, all he was doing was biding his time. His presence here was all for Christine.

The second after the boy let out of a shuddered breath, Erik was filled with anticipation, almost eager to confront Raoul, just to see him fight back. Grabbing the front of his shirt because he knew that annoyed him to no end, he asked, voice low and dangerous, daring Raoul to fight back, "What did I tell you?"

Still angry with himself for having those residual thoughts, Raoul immediately struggled, knocking the ghost's hand from him. "Release me at once, Monsieur Ghost."

Erik's fingers slipped from the cloth, so he had no other choice but to release him, but he confronted the blonde again, "What did I tell you?"

"I know what you said," Raoul said. Knowing it annoyed the man, he emphasized, "Monsieur Ghost."

Erik glared and ordered, "Then do something about it. Stop thinking of her. She doesn't love you."

"I know!" Raoul yelled and took several steps away. He was calming down already, and with that anger gone, he was left feeling tired again. He braced himself against the nearest tree with his forearm, leaning his forehead against it. "Monsieur Ghost," he said quietly, earnestly, "I'm trying."

Erik frowned, knowing it would be useless trying to goad the boy on now. That had been a rather short burst of energy. In this state, Raoul was not interesting at all. He looked across the estate, looked at the driveway that had led Christine out of their lives. Not for the first time, he wondered what he was still doing here. He'd convinced himself it was all for Christine, but she was only getting further away while Raoul only continued to struggle with himself. He wasn't sure if he was where he was supposed to be.

"Monsieur…" Raoul was about ask if he was still angry. He turned around to see him staring at a distance.

Giving a look of disgust, Erik gave Raoul a sidelong glance. "Erik."

"What?"

"Stop calling me Monsieur Ghost," he answered through clenched teeth.

Raoul's eyes widened a bit before he gave a small almost imperceptible nod. Without even realizing it, his lips slowly curled up to a grin.

Erik saw it, one of the first smiles he'd seen that wasn't tinged with bitterness or self-reproach. He relaxed, nodding to himself. They were making progress.

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End Chapter 14

Word count: 3,726

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A/N: Don't forget to R/R (Read and Review)!

Chapter review: Oh, they're now on first name basis! Yay. Finally. Took them long enough.