Chapter 14
Peter was pretty much lost in thought while he was walking Wendy home, did he really want to go back to Neverland, did he really want to leave everyone again? He really didn't know and this made him wish that he had never met Wendy again or saved Slightly's life, it would have made this moment much easier.
Peter kept on replaying everything in his head, everything from the moment he first met Wendy and how everything in his life had changed so much because of her. Everything was simple before her and Peter wished that he could return to when things were simpler but he knew that he could not.
Wendy looked at Peter she could see that something was troubling and the interesting thing is that he didn't seem like he was trying to hide it. "Peter are you sure that you are all right?" she asked
"I am fine, just thinking?" Peter said, normally he would have just said that nothing was wrong but for some reason he wanted to answer Wendy openly and honestly. He did not know why, perhaps it was just because he was tired of fighting with her, nobody ever drained him in a fight the way that she did, not even Hook.
"What are you thinking about?" Wendy asked
Peter gave her a look like he really did not want to talk about it, but this time Wendy decided to push the matter. While Peter was still not being open with her at least this time he was not trying to deliberately hide his feelings. Wendy took it as a sign that maybe, even if it was just a little he was starting to open up more and more.
"You know, when a boy walks a girl home it is proper to have a conversation" Wendy told him
"Your world has to many rules" Peter said shaking his head, though Peter knew all to well that every world had its rules
"Oh and does Neverland not have its rules?" Wendy asked him in a rather uncharacteristic child like tone
"Sure it does" Peter said "every world had its rules, Solomon made sure I knew that"
"Who is Solomon?" Wendy asked curiously finally seeing that Peter had finally let something slip about himself. While Wendy was sure that consciously Peter would have probably had his guard up, unconsciously he was opening up, felling more and more comfortable with her. At least enough that he could reveal more about himself.
Peter was not sure why he had just mentioned Solomon to Wendy, maybe it was just his need to brag about himself. If there was one thing Peter Pan loved to talk about it was Peter Pan, well his adventures anyway. When it came to Peter Pan, his past, his life that was always off limits, no one had ever even known about Solomon, the closet thing Peter had to a friend. Though Peter could have just acted like he didn't say anything or make up a lie he still did not want to get into a fight with Wendy or so he told himself.
"Solomon the Crow" Peter said like he was about to tell some grand story "my best friend in Kensington Gardens"
"How could you have been best friends with a crow?" Wendy asked
"I am best friends with a fairy, why not with a crow?" Peter asked back
Wendy had to wonder if Peter was making everything up at this point, but lying was not one of Peter's strong suits. Peter actually seemed even if it be in a rather childish way that he was actually telling the truth, "maybe he really was friends with a crow" Wendy thought to herself
"So was he a nice crow?" Wendy asked
"Solomon was old and wise, he use to watch out for me when I was little" Peter said with a sad little smile
"I never thought you liked anyone who was old Peter?" Wendy said
"Solomon was not a man he was a crow, I wonder if he ever found that piece of land to retire on" Peter wondered aloud
"why would you not know?" Wendy asked him
"Because I left Kensington Gardens for Neverland" Peter replied remembering the day that him and Solomon parted ways
"I wanted Solomon to come with me, but he said his place was there" Peter said sadly
From what Wendy could tell it seemed like Peter had been very close to Solomon even if he was a crow. It seemed to Wendy that Peter had a lot of love for Solomon and not in the way a child loves a pet, probably in the way a grandson would love his grandfather. This all made Peter more understandable but at the same time more mysterious, it was obvious Peter was looking for a connection, yet something was holding him back. But she was happy that she was able to at least get this much out of Peter, John was right, he surprised her yet again, he slowly showed her the side of him that could love.
"You must miss him?" Wendy asked him kindly
Peter looked at her, though his mind told to make up something that showed that not having Solomon didn't bother him, he words said something else. "Yeah I do miss him, a lot"
Just then the two approached Wendy's house, "well here we are" Peter said, just then John and Michael came outside. They had managed to spot Peter from the window they could not believe that it was really him and that he was walking Wendy home
"Peter" they both said at once when they came outside
Peter looked at the two boys though he had known that they were Wendy's brothers, he had completely forgotten there names, "hi um, Wendy's brother's" Peter said rather sheepishly, he didn't want to humiliate himself, or to offend Wendy.
Luckily Wendy was anything but offended, she really was not surprised Peter did not remember her brothers, she was actually impressed that she even remembered there faces. "John and Michael" she whispered in his ear
"John and Michael" Peter said acting as if he had just suddenly remembered though both boys had seen Wendy whisper in his ear, but like Wendy decided not make a big deal out of it.
"So you really are back" John said with a smile
"I am just taking some time off from Neverland, change of scenery for a bit" Peter said hoping that they would just except his answer
While like Wendy, neither John and Michael thought Peter's statement was either not truthful or very well thought out, they choose not to press anything. They could see that Peter and Wendy were on common ground so why ruin it for either of them.
"Well it was nice to see you again" John said then he motioned to his brother to come inside
Just then Peter remembered about what was going on with there mother and while it was not his custom to offer good will to a grown up he decided it might be nice for the boys to hear. Especially given that no one had comforted Peter when he had lost his mother, though Solomon did try he really did not know how to help the boy.
Solomon had warned Peter not to wait to long before deciding whether or not to go home, he told him that not everyone gets a second chance. Solomon really did not want to say I told you so to Peter, especially when Peter had been crying for days and days. So he just did his best to try and take Peter's mind off everything, often talking about his retirement plan. Of course it was a fairy named Tinkerbell who had been sent by the fairy court who offered Peter a way to escape his pain, Neverland.
"I um, I heard about your mother" Peter said with a rather uncharacteristic melancholy tone
"You did" Michael asked not sure what Peter was going to say next
"Yeah I hope that she is going to be all right" Peter said rather kindly, John and Michael looked at each other shocked and then at Peter with sad smiles
"Thank you" John said "That means a lot to us"
"I knew there was a boy of feeling in there" Wendy thought to herself. But Wendy also worried, she was afraid that whatever steps Peter might be taking forward would be lost if went back to Neverland. Rather then tell Peter of her concerns she decided instead to give something that might help him keep his feet on the ground. Without warning she gave Peter a kiss, not a kiss on the lips, but a peak on the cheek since they were only friends for the time being.
Peter jumped when when he felt Wendy kiss him, he turned to her completely bewildered, "what was that for?" he asked
"For showing how not deficient you really are" Wendy told him with a smile "and I hope that never changes" she said as she followed John and Michael inside
Peter watched Wendy go inside with a smile on his face; though it wasn't a cocky or devilishly grin, it was just a regular shy smile a boy his age would have when kissed by a girl he liked. Just then Peter's smile faded when he remembered that he was being called by the fairies to the Kensington Gardens, he felt at least obligated to appear.
After sneaking into the gardens after lock out time when the magical creatures would often come out and meet with each other, Peter looked around for any sign of any fairies. Just then a bright light started coming towards him very fast and circled Peter a few times before stopping and allowing Peter to see who it was.
"Tinkerbell" Peter said with a smile quickly recognizing his fairy
"So have had enough, are you ready to return to Neverland"
In the past Peter would have probably answered that question with a quick yes, but he hesitated not really sure how to answer
Tinkerbell looked at Peter curiously she assumed that if Peter was ready he would have just answered her quickly, but the fact that he had to stand there and think was not a good sign.
"Is that a no?" she asked him
"Well" Peter said still not sure how to answer
"Peter what does this world really have to offer you anyway, school, an office"
"Feelings" Peter said still a bit dazed from the kiss Wendy gave him
Aside from Wendy Peter also thought a bit about Crutch, the boy had befriended him, he had been the first friend he had since Solomon. Peter had the Lost Boys, but that was it, he had them, they worshiped him, did what he told them, they were not his friends. Slightly might been the closet when it was just the two of them, but even then Peter kept at him at a distance. Worshiping someone was not the same as having someone as a friend.
"Forget Feelings" Tinkerbell told him "you are Peter Pan, the eternal child, forever innocent and heartless"
"Heartless?" Peter asked "I am not heartless Tink, I was never heartless"
Peter thought some more, he was not heartless, he had tried to return to his mother because he loved her and wanted to be with her. But after her and his father had broken his heart he had shut himself off, not to mention it was only made worse by Solomon not coming with him. Peter had decided not to feel again, he never wanted to feel again, but who was he kidding, once you have feelings you can not just make them go away.
He should have learned that the second he saw Wendy, he had felt for her from the first moment he saw her. But feelings were so painful for him, yet what she wanted to give him was what he needed, he did not realize it until right now. He did not want to Wendy to leave, Hook even managed to use her against him in there final confrontation. It was the moment that Peter really knew that no matter how hard he tried he could not just stop feeling, he may be naive and ignorant but he was not heartless.
This was why he never wanted to grow up, because he did not want to feel and get hurt. It may have initially started out with always wanting to be a boy and have fun, but that changed when Peter realized how much he missed his mother. He himself even started to wonder if grown up life was not as bad as he thought, if there was not more. For the first time Peter could see it all, a perfect pattern right in front of him, all the loss he experienced when he was little and how it made him when he got older.
"You have changed" Tinkerbell told him "perhaps you need more time to think about things"
"Tink wait" Peter said making her stop in her tracks
"Before you go I need you to do me a favor" Peter told her
"Favor, what favor?" Tinkerbell asked
"One that I hope I am not going to regret" Peter told her
To be continued