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Chapter 14-I'm Rachel Berry
Finding Quinn, Puck pulled her into an empty bathroom before informing her all about his most recent interaction with Kurt.
"You tried to kiss him?" Quinn asked her eyes going wide. "Are you insane? Noah, you can't make a move on a gay guy when you're in a girl's body, it just won't work."
"I know, it was dumb," Puck admitted, "I just thought maybe if he kissed me… I don't know. I guess I was hoping that if I could get just one kiss from him then everything might be ok."
"Does Rachel know yet?" Quinn sighed and Puck shook his head. "What about Finn?"
"No, not unless Kurt's told him," Puck replied, "but I don't think Kurt's going to say anything to anybody. I think I've just freaked him out."
"Have you considered telling him the truth?" Quinn asked tentatively.
"I've thought about it," Puck nodded, "but this whole body swap shit is crazy. If it wasn't happening to me I wouldn't believe it myself. I'm still amazed you and my sister managed to believe this crap so easily. I don't know if Kurt would believe it, and even if he did I don't see how it would help. He's not gonna be attracted to me while I have a fucking vagina."
"This body swap deal won't be forever, it can't be," Quinn replied, "you and Rachel just need to really put your heads together and think all this through so you can reverse whatever happened. And I'll help you as best as I can. There must be a way to get you back in your own body."
"There better be," Puck groaned, "if I don't get my cock back so I can jerk off soon then I swear I'm gonna die. Ow," he yelped as Quinn hit him round the back of the head.
"Don't talk like that, Noah," Quinn reprimanded, "now come on. We'd better find Rachel and let her know about the added drama you've potentially caused by trying to put the moves on Kurt."
Arm in arm with Quinn, Puck walked out of the girls' bathroom, hair hanging loose around his face as he stared at the ground, scuffing his ballet flats on the tiled floor as he moved along.
"Hey, Rachel, what the hell is going on?" Finn demanded to know storming up to them.
Puck shot a panicked look to Quinn and edged to the side a little so he was partially hiding behind her.
"What do you want, Finn?" Quinn asked on Puck's behalf, unlinking their arms and threading their fingers together instead.
"Stay out of this Quinn, this isn't about you," Finn said earning himself a heated glare, "is it true what Kurt told me?" Finn asked staring down at Puck.
"Um… I don't know," Puck shrugged while his mind was simply thinking 'shit'.
"He just told me you tried to kiss him," Finn retorted accusingly just as the real Rachel came walking down the corridor, quickly making her way over to join them.
"Well… I…" Puck stammered looking to Quinn for help but she only seemed capable of squeezing his hand in a gesture of comfort.
"And what the hell is this?" Finn huffed pointing down at Puck and Quinn's conjoined hands. "You two are supposed to hate each other, not be all… all… you're not supposed to be like Santana and Brittany."
"What's wrong with Santana and Brittany?" Puck asked defensively.
"Nothing," Finn answered as Rachel joined them, "Puck, go away, man, and take Quinn with you. Rachel and I need to talk."
"I'm sorry Finn but I shall not be departing your company any time soon," Rachel responded folding her arms across her chest, "will somebody please inform me as to what is going on."
"None of your business dude," Finn said not making eye-contact as he inched away from Rachel, probably still a little nervous around the girl in Puck's body ever since she'd kissed Finn in the auditorium. "Rachel, just come talk to me," Finn sighed looking down at Puck.
"I… that probably isn't a good idea right now," Puck answered looking between Quinn and the real Rachel, silently hoping for one of the girls to step in and save the situation.
"Damn it, Rachel, just tell me the truth, did you try and kiss Kurt?" Finn asked throwing his hands in the air and looking ready to kick something.
"What?" Rachel blanched and Puck sent her an apologetic look. "No, of course not. That's ridiculous, Finn. I would never do that. I mean Puck would never… no, no, I mean Rachel would never do something like that. Right, Rachel?"
"Sweetie, stop talking," Quinn advised.
"Rachel, just tell me," Finn demanded again, stepping forward and taking a painful grip on Puck's borrowed arms and shaking him rather forcefully.
"Ouch, cut it out," Puck hissed shoving Finn off, "Finn, that hurt," he complained as he rubbed his arms.
"Tell me the truth," Finn cried out sounding increasingly more agitated.
"Finn, just calm down, people are staring," Rachel pointed out as crowds of students formed in the area watching them curiously.
"Nothing is going on between Rachel and Kurt," Quinn spoke up, "I promise you that. So just let it go, Finn."
"No, no, something's going on," Finn insisted, "Kurt wouldn't lie to me."
"Maybe Kurt's just confused," Rachel suggested reaching a hand up to play with her hair but finding Puck's mohawk instead.
"We should all just get to class," Quinn said decisively and the real Rachel nodded in agreement, more than prepared to follow Quinn's lead but Finn clearly wasn't ready to let the subject matter go.
"No way, I'm not going to class until someone explains to me just what the hell is going on here," Finn stated looking between all three of them, suspicion mixed with hurt and anger burning in his eyes.
"Finn, please, it's nothing bad," Rachel tried to tell him, resting a hand on his arm only for it to be shaken off, "it isn't what you think, I promise. I still lo-… Rachel is still crazy about you and Kurt is Rachel's best friend and your brother. That's all there is to it, Finn."
"Exactly," Quinn agreed, "you and Rachel are sickeningly in love and Kurt is your gay step-brother. Now let's get to class."
"Look me in the eye and tell me what Kurt said isn't true," Finn demanded staring down at Puck.
"Finn, it's complicated," Puck replied.
"Then explain it to me," Finn retorted, "help me understand what the hell is going on. Just be honest with me, Rachel, did you try and kiss Kurt or not?"
"Yes," Puck admitted in a whisper and the real Rachel bit down on her lip as she watched the hurt and anger pass over Finn's face.
"Why?" Finn asked glaring down at Puck in a very similar way to how he had glared at Quinn after hearing the truth about not being the father of her child.
"Because," Puck replied quietly, the rest of his sentence coming out as an indistinguishable mumble.
"Because, what, Rach, speak up," Finn spat impatiently just as Kurt and Mercedes pushed their way to the front of the nearby onlookers to see and hear what was going on.
"Because I think I'm falling for him ok," Puck answered.
Before he could even regret his words, a sharp sting of pain burst across his cheek and multiple gasps of shock and outrage sounded through the corridor as he was knocked to the ground from the force of the blow. On his knees, Puck simply clutched to his throbbing cheek in utter shock, tears stinging in his eyes from the pain. He heard the sound of a choked sob and it took a few seconds for his mind to register that the noise had not come from him, but from the real Rachel, standing upright in his body with her hands over her mouth having just witnessed her boyfriend smack her body across the face.
"I… I'm sorry," Finn apologised milliseconds later dropping to his knees and reaching his hands out to cradle Puck's face.
"Just get out of here, Finn," Quinn snapped at him fiercely shoving his hand away.
"But… but… I didn't mean to," Finn said looking tearful as numerous pairs of eyes cast judging looks over him. "Rachel, please, I'm so sorry."
"Finn, go!" Quinn yelled at him and the lanky teenager skulked off keeping his head down low. "Move along people, there's nothing to see!" she barked at the nosy onlookers and they hastily moved on to their classes. "Noah, are you ok?" she whispered to Puck as she helped him to stand and he gave her a reassuring nod as he smoothed out his dress.
"Hey, are you ok?" Puck asked stepping up to a still shell-shocked Rachel and resting a hand on her muscular bicep.
"He hit me," Rachel replied in a miserable whisper looking at him with tearful eyes. "I mean, it wasn't me inside and I didn't physically feel it, but it was still me on the outside and he thought he was hitting me and I… I really felt it emotionally. It hurts so badly."
"It's ok, babe," Puck said soothingly pulling her into a light embrace, "it's ok."
Quinn stood with them, quietly rubbing Rachel's back and sharing concerned looks with Puck.
"Rachel?" Kurt asked cautiously from where he had been standing when the slap had occurred. Rachel, in Puck's body, looked round to face the ivory skinned boy. "Are… are you, Rachel?" Kurt asked her, his words quiet as though he was uncertain about whether or not he should even ask the absurd sounding question.
"Yes," Rachel nodded as tears fell from her borrowed eyes, "I'm Rachel Berry, I'm in here," she sobbed gesturing down at her teenage boy body.
"Oh, sweetie," Kurt sighed gathering her muscular body into his arms and running a hand comfortingly through her mohawk. "I'm so sorry."
"Nobody noticed," Rachel whimpered into his shoulder, "nobody could see me. I've been feeling so lost. And Finn… he hit me."
"Don't worry, he won't get away with it," Kurt promised, "I'm definitely telling my dad and Carole."
"Oh, Noah, that's gonna bruise, sweetie," Quinn pointed out looking at the mark Finn had left on Puck's face, "come on, I'll show you how to cover it with make-up," she offered taking his hand.
"Feel better, babe," Puck said to Rachel squeezing her shoulder gently, "um, Kurt, could we maybe talk later?" he asked a little shyly.
"Oh, sure," Kurt nodded his eyes widening in realisation and his mind registering that every recent weirdness between him and Rachel had in fact been between himself and Noah Puckerman.
"Ok, great," Puck smiled in relief, "um, dinner tonight, at Breadsticks maybe?"
Kurt gulped nervously and looked to Quinn who smiled softly and gave a small nod. He then looked to the Pucked-up version of Rachel who offered an encouraging smile despite the tears still falling down her masculine face.
"Ok," Kurt agreed, "I'd like that," he smiled.
Puck grinned back before heading away to the bathroom with Quinn and leaving Kurt to comfort Rachel.
"I could get used to this," Kurt commented to himself as he continued to embrace Rachel's borrowed body.
To Be Continued
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