First Love Lost
Chapter 14 - Foot in Mouth

When we arrived at school on Monday, Emmett was waiting in the parking lot with the rest of the group. Everyone looked happy so I figured we were in the clear. Jasper told me we didn't have anything to worry about, but it was hard to make myself not feel a little nervous.

We agreed to not talk so that we could keep up appearances. After the weekend we had, it would be hard not to look at him or talk to him. Neither of us was looking forward to the day. On the drive over, both of our moods gradually went downhill as we left our world and slowly returned to reality.

When we came to a stop, Emmett opened my door and helped me out. He gave me a huge smile before handing me my car's keys. "I can't believe I didn't leave you the keys to my truck so you could get to school today. I hope that jerk of a friend of mine didn't give you too hard of a time."

I smiled up at my big brother. It was nice to have him start treating me like he used to when we were kids. "Don't worry about it. Jasper didn't complain. Of course, he didn't talk to me either, but I am starting to think he's just vocally challenged. It would be wrong of me to blame him for something he can't help."

I may have been laying it on a little thick, but I didn't want anyone to think that Jasper and I were any closer than we were when the group last saw us. No one even blinked twice at my words, which made me wonder if I was a good actress or if they just thought that there was no chance of us being together. The latter hurt just a bit, but of the two, it was the more likely.

Alice walked forward and looked me over from head to toe. I had to stop myself from flinching back from the appraising look in her eyes. I didn't know what she was looking for, but I wasn't going to give her any reason to find anything.

"What?" I asked nervously.

Around me, everyone started laughing except for Jasper. He had an irritated look on his face. Some how, he knew what she was thinking and didn't approve. I found myself more curious after seeing his reaction.

To my left I heard Emmett stop laughing. "Run, Bella. Run," he encouraged me.

Rosalie rolled her eyes at him, and Edward stepped forward and put his arms around Alice as if he were holding her back.

Alice ignored him and tapped her index finger on her chin. "Bella, don't take this the wrong way, but I think we should start working on your wardrobe. A little makeup would be good, too. You are really not playing up all of your assets."

I shook my head vigorously at Alice. "No. I like me the way I am."

"Of course you like you the way you are, I just think you would like you better if you made a little effort," she explained like it was obvious.

"No."

Alice pouted. "I'll wear you down eventually. Why not just give in now? You'll save us both a lot of time and energy."

"No."

Before Alice had another chance, Jasper spoke up. "Al, leave her alone. She doesn't want to be a clone like everyone else."

"Are you calling me a clone?" Alice growled.

Jasper raised an eyebrow at her and shook his head. "Everyone in this school is a clone of you and Rose. Bella is the only girl here who does what she wants instead of what she thinks you two would do."

I smiled up at him. "Thank you."

He gave me a quick nod before turning and walking away. We all followed behind him on our way to the front of the school. His words put an end to her plans. I was relieved. I smiled privately thinking that it was nice to see my hero use his powers for good.

With fifteen minutes left until school started, I went in search of Angela. She usually showed up early and would spend that time in the library. Her plans were no different today. I found her in her usual spot in one of the corners of the room. She was alone, which fit into my plans perfectly.

"Good morning, Angela," I greeted her as I took a seat next to her.

She smile warmly. "Morning. How was your weekend?"

I couldn't help the big grin that took over my face. "It was really good."

My reaction to her question got her attention immediately. "What did you do?"

"Can you keep a secret?" I asked.

I knew I could trust her. She was probably the nicest person that I had ever met. There was an innate goodness about Angela that most people lacked. I never once heard her say anything negative about anyone. It was a refreshing change from most of the people that I was around.

After explaining my arrangement with Jasper, Angela reluctantly agreed to help us. She never once warned me about him as Alice had. She actually seemed to have a good opinion of him. All she did was ask me to be careful. I agreed knowing that it was a lie.

Two hours later, Alice and I walked into third period Calculus five minutes late. She had stolen me away to the bathroom to discuss my 'potential'. It was an irritating lecture on the value of mascara. How my life could change by sticking a muddy wand near my eye, I couldn't comprehend, but she seemed to think it was important. I just nodded my head absently and listened as she went from makeup, to clothes I should wear, and then on to the magical world of shoes. Alice could have been explaining string theory for all it meant to me.

When we walked into class, I expected to see Jasper and was disappointed to find that he was missing. Calculus was the one class we shared besides Study Hall, and the jerk skipped. If he was going to do that, the least he could do was invite me along. If I had to suffer through school, he should have to as well. Alice also seemed surprised to see him gone, which was an interesting development. His group usually made skipping school a group activity.

I spotted him an hour later on my way to the library. Jasper was walking in from the parking lot with his head down reading a sheet of paper. I couldn't stop the secretive smile that formed on my face, or the blush that stained my cheeks when I saw him. Sensing my presence, Jasper looked up and caught me watching him. The slow wink he sent me made my heart flutter. I averted my eyes and quickly went inside the building. Being near him was too risky. All of my instincts were demanding that I go to him, but I couldn't.

Lunch didn't come soon enough. On my way into the cafeteria, I noted that my brother and his friends had already arrived. I was especially careful to keep my eyes from wandering to their table. After picking up a tray of food, I went to meet Angela at our table. She looked excited to see me, and soon, I found out why.

She slid an envelope over to me and smiled. "I have a present for you."

My hands clenched into fists as I fought back the need to grab the thin white piece of paper that sat in front of me. I wanted to rip it open and devour the contents. After waiting a minute to calm myself, I picked it up and carefully tore through the top. I found a key and a note.

B,

I've got plans with the boys this afternoon.
I won't be able to see you, but I'll be thinking about
you. Alice is going to try to force you to go with
her and Rose. Have fun if you go, but don't let them
mess with your face. You're beautiful without all
that crap.

J

I picked up the key and rubbed my thumb over the groves in the metal. The key said much more than the note, and I loved it. If it wasn't the lamest idea in the word, I would get a chain and wear it on my neck. Heck, I might do that anyway.

Angela cleared her throat to get my attention. "What's the key for?"

My face split into a huge smile. I allowed myself a quick peek at Jasper who was listening to Alice. She looked like she was reading him the riot act about skipping school without her getting to come along, while he looked extremely pleased with himself. Of course, he felt that way. The sneak had skipped class to make me a key for our little home away from home. It was an absurd thing to do, but something he felt the need to do at the earliest opportunity. There was no way he knew how sweet that was. If so, he would never have done it.

"Bella," Angela said pulling my attention back to her.

"Huh."

She laughed softly. "You really have it bad."

"We're just friends. Really. I swear," I said trying to convince myself as well as her.

Angela shook her head. "Bella, you're glowing, and Jasper isn't much better. You have his complete attention. It's like he is standing next to you instead of across the room, and even though he isn't looking at you, it's like he's touching you. I've never seen anything like it. "

I looked down at the table avoiding her eyes. "You have it all wrong."

"I wish I did," she said sadly.

I decided a change in subject was needed. Angela and I focused too much on me sometimes, and we needed to put some of the spotlight on her. I knew she still had a crush on Ben Cheney. I had tried to convince her to talk to him, but she refused.

"How's it going with Ben," I asked.

Her eyes lit up. "He called me this weekend."

"Really. What did he say?"

"He left his Calculus book at school and asked if he could borrow mine."

I clapped my palms together in excitement. "Oh, Ang. That's great."

Angela cheeks turned a bright red. "He's my neighbor. I was just convenient."

"You are so full of it. Ben Cheney is Super Student. He's never forgotten a book in his life."

"You think so?" she asked hopefully.

"Of course, he just needed a reason to call you. Let me ask you this. Was Calculus the only thing you talked about?"

The corners of her mouth turned up into a small smile. "No, we talked about other stuff," she said shyly.

"And you say I have it bad."

"Stop it. I'm not near as bad," Angela laughed. "Ben is just so different from other guys. He is always so friendly and sweet. I love that he is smart. He's just . . . great."

We spent the rest of lunch talking and laughing about the boys in our life. It was a silly hour that wasn't the norm for us. Both Angela and I were pretty serious minded people, but it was nice to break out into giggles for a bit. Even still, I couldn't help but take a few peeks in Jasper's direction. Our eyes meet a few times sending chills down my arm. Angela was right. I really did have it bad.

Study Hall was an exercise in restraint. Being so close to him but unable to do anything was frustrating in the extreme. There was an uneasy tension between us that stretched across the room. It was a miracle no one seemed to pick up on it. I just hoped that after a few days of this it would become easier.

James provided the only problem of the hour. When he came through the door, I was already sitting at my desk. He took the usual seat in front of me and turned his whole desk so that we were almost facing each other. I groaned inwardly. The new angle of the chair made it easier to talk and would not go unnoticed by Emmett and the others.

"Bella, I know you said that we weren't really going anywhere. I get that, but I think as friends we should still be able to spend time together," he explained.

Emmett entered the room followed by his friends. The scowl on his face was hard to miss and was mirrored by Jasper and Alice. In contrast, Edward and Rosalie looked on in amusement. No one said anything, which came as a big surprise. When they finally got settled at their desks, they all slipped into their usual banter.

With only a few minutes left in class, James decided to continue our conversation from earlier. "So, I was thinking that if you don't have any plans after school we could meet somewhere."

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, the room went quiet. Everyone turned to look at us and waited to see what I would say. I sat there like a deer caught in the headlights. My mind went blank. I couldn't come up with a single excuse.

After a few seconds, Alice jumped in to save me. "Sorry, Romeo. Bella is going shopping with us girls."

Terrific. I would have almost rather gone with James and suffered the wrath of Jasper than have to go shopping. This sucked.

"She's right. We made plans earlier," I lied.

Not to be deterred, James piped up again. "Tomorrow then."

Emmett took his turn saving me. "Bella and I turn eighteen tomorrow. We are having dinner with our dad and some friends."

This sucked worse. Though I lived with Charlie, we hadn't spoken hardly at all in the time since I arrived. Dinner with him would be hell. Hopefully, Emmett was just lying.

James huffed loudly. "If I ask about Wednesday, will you be flying to Egypt?"

"No, she'll be waterskiing in Switzerland," Edward answered mockingly.

The others laughed, and I started feeling guilty. James was just trying to be friendly. Why did they have to be such jerks? Their treatment of James reminded me of how they treated me sometimes. I knew how much that hurt, and I was tired of watching them do it to someone else.

My mouth moved before my brain could act. "Actually, I am free on Wednesday. How about we make some plans with Angela?" I offered.

Birds sang, crickets chirped, and the bell rang for class to end.

On my list of favorite things, shopping with Rosalie and Alice would fall just behind visiting the dentist. Clothes just didn't interest me at all. I rarely noticed what other people wore and couldn't tell you what I wore half the time. I understood that other people weren't like that, but I just didn't care.

I watched as Alice held up yet another dress. "This is perfect."

It was a belted polo sweaterdress in teal blue. After trying it on, I knew immediately that I would buy it, and I wasn't even a dress person. It was conservative but still managed to look fun and flirty. The deciding factor was that it made me feel good, and I knew that I could wear it without feeling self-conscious. I also thought that it would have the added benefit of shutting Alice up. I was wrong.

"Ohhh, now that you're starting to warm up to this, we'll really have to start looking," Alice squealed.

I rolled my eyes as she drug me over to the next rack of clothes. Rosalie laughed at my discomfort, which caused me to send a sharp glare her way.

"That dress really does look good on you," Rosalie stated with no hint of sarcasm.

I was shocked. It was probably the first nice thing she had ever said to me. "Thanks, Rosalie."

She picked up on my shock and shrugged. "You're welcome. Thanks for letting Alice have her fun."

Letting Alice have her fun wouldn't be near so bad if I hadn't figured out her plan. I didn't miss the fact that her wanting to work on my appearance aligned with my having arrived with Jasper for school. She would know that he hated too much makeup and the overly styled looks that she was trying to push on me. This shopping excursion was not about friendship or clothes. It was about loading me up with stuff designed to turn him off and other boys on. She had already not so casually mentioned a few names of boys from school. I was ignoring her for the most part and only occasionally nodded my head as I pretended to listen.

We worked our way over to the lingerie section, and I picked out a few pairs of pajamas that would provide me some additional coverage for any future sleepovers with my secret friend. Unless Jasper had a secret lumberjack fetish, they would work perfectly.

Alice didn't approve of my selections. "You even sleep in boring clothes. I just don't know what to do with you. Just because no one is going to see you doesn't mean you can't be sexy."

She held up a frilly slip thing that made me snort with laughter. It was see through. If she only knew who would be seeing that, she would burn it and the rest of the rack she was looking through.

I shook my head vigorously. "No. I don't live in a bordello, Alice. I'm not buying that."

Rosalie gave a shout of laughter. "Don't you have that in red, Al?"

"Yes," Alice clipped out.

Great. I just implied that my friend lived in a whorehouse. "Sorry," I offered sheepishly.

We wrapped up the shopping trip and were now on our way back to my house. They were going to drop me off and join the guys for the rest of the evening. Everyone was supposed to the meet at my house and then head to the clearing. I was invited along but opted to pass. It sounded great, but I knew that Jasper was mad at me, which meant I would end up having zero fun.

After I made plans with James for Wednesday, Jasper left Study Hall without so much as a glance in my direction. I cursed my stupid mouth for getting me into trouble, but it was too late to do anything about it. Besides, it wasn't a date. Angela was going to be with us. Jasper would just have to accept that I could have male friends. It wasn't like he was my boyfriend. I could do what I wanted as long as I didn't date anyone. Besides, I was getting a little bit tired of playing follow the leader. My eyes were starting to open, and they didn't like everything that they saw.

"Bella," Rosalia said trying to get my attention.

I turned to look at her. "Yes."

"We need to talk about your little friendship with James," she explained.

Finally some answers. "What about it?"

"He's not a good guy. You need to watch yourself with him."

I saw that Alice was nodding her head in agreement. "What's the deal with this guy? Why don't you like him?" I asked.

Rosalie glanced back at me. "What did James tell you?"

I explained how James told me that him and Charlie were friends but that Emmett had a problem with it, which caused James to stop coming around. Alice and Rosalie exchanged looks.

"That's all true, but it's not the whole story," Alice explained. "At first, Emmett was cool with it, but then he found out what James was arrested for."

"What was he arrested for?" I asked. I might have known that James was innocent, but I was still curious about why he was arrested.

"He was accused of beating up his mom," Rosalie answered. "He denied it, and she ended up changing her mind about pressing charges."

This didn't make any sense. "Why would Charlie befriend the guy if he beat up his mother?"

"Your dad didn't believe her. James' mom has a history of mental illness and makes wild accusations all the time," Alice explained.

This whole thing was like a whirlpool of missing links. Nothing was coming together to make a clear picture. The only thing that helped was that James had told me he was innocent. "I don't get it. Does Emmett think that James is actually guilty?"

Rosalie looked out the passenger window and stared into the distance. "Emmett doesn't want to take the risk that it's true. He thinks the guy is bad news and doesn't want him around Alice and me. No evidence exists to prove that James is guilty, but all of the guys believe him to be capable of it."

I was starting to get angry. "So, all of you hate the guy because his crazy mother makes up some story about him. How is that fair? Isn't a person supposed to be innocent until proven guilty?"

"See this is why no one wanted to say anything. Emmett knew you wouldn't listen. He told us that you would defend James," Alice said in an angry voice.

This is ridiculous. "How can I not? Rosalie said that there was no evidence, and my own father, who is the chief of police, doesn't believe it."

"Bella, it all comes down to trust. We trust Emmett, Jasper, and Edward's judgment. If they say the guy is bad news, we believe them," Alice said speaking for both herself and Rosalie.

"Oh absolutely, trust the judgment of the three biggest troublemakers in school. That makes perfect sense."

The mood inside the car changed abruptly. There was a chill in the air that could freeze fire. I knew the second the words were out of my mouth that I shouldn't have said them. It was a repeat of Study Hall. I shot my mouth off before my brain could stop me. I knew beyond anything that I trusted Jasper, but I also knew that he was not infallible. He didn't like James, and it affected his judgment.

Rosalie started talking to Alice like I was no longer in the car. "I told you that you were wrong. She'll never be one of us."

That pissed me off. "Oh, I'm sorry if I don't blindly follow where I'm led. I like to make up my own mind rather than have someone do it for me."

What a joke that statement was. Here lately, I would have let Jasper Whitlock lead me off a cliff if he promised to jump alongside me. I was a hypocrite, and it burned.

"Just keep flapping those lips without the benefit of using your brain. You'll see what that gets you," Rosalie threatened.

"Yeah, you keep flippin' that hair like you're cooking pancakes. That'll teach me," I snapped back.

Rosalie turned in her seat and glared at me with hate in her eyes. "If you weren't Emmett's sister, parts of you would be buried throughout the woods. You should really shut your mouth before I accidentally forget."

I smirked at her. "Hey Rose, you know what the little doggy said to the big doggy? Bark, Bark, Bark."

She unfastened her seat belt and reached into the backseat to grab me just as Alice hit the brakes to pull into my driveway. Rosalie went flying back into the dashboard. Fortunately, she didn't hit it hard enough to hurt herself. Unfortunately, she hit it hard enough to make herself even angrier.

We got out on opposite sides of the car, and she ran screaming to my side to pummel me. For the second time in a week, we were in a fight. As before, we were stopped by my brother and Jasper. Curse my rotten luck. I was more than ready for a piece of that bitchy blond.

Jasper pulled me away from her and angled himself in front of me. It was a protective stance he didn't use the last time. Little details like this would give us away, but he was too caught up in the moment to realize it.

"Don't you touch her Rose," Jasper ordered.

Just tape a sign to us you stupid ass. My brain yelled.

Rosalie was screaming and fighting against Emmett's hold on her. "Let go of me. I'll kill that bitch. Dammit, let me go."

Her overly dramatic display had everyone's attention and no one even bothered to look at Jasper and me. The guy was honestly the luckiest man on the planet. He could step in a pile of crap and find a diamond.

Jasper turned and whispered in my ear. "Let's get you inside. Rose won't calm down until you get out of sight."

I nodded up at him and let him guide into my house. When I turned back to check out what everyone else was doing, I saw Edward watching us carefully. Our eyes meet, and I could tell that he suspected something.

When we got inside, Jasper threw himself on the couch and laid down. He used his fingers to massage his temples and let out a frustrated groan. "Why do have to make things so difficult? You fight with my friends. You date my enemies. What the hell are you going to do next?"

Whatever I want. I'm not on strings, and you're not my boss.

I sat down on the recliner and rocked back and forth nervously. "Jasper, I think Edward suspects something."

He let out another groan. "I don't give a shit if Edward suspects something. That's the least of my worries."

"I know you're mad at me about James, but . . ."

Jasper interrupted before I could finish speaking. "I'm not mad. Sure, I don't want my girl meeting some other guy, but I know why you did it. Hell, my idiot friends practically pushed you into it by making you feel sorry for him."

Him calling me his girl sent my heart soaring. I smiled at him like a fool. "You just called me your girl."

"You are my girl, and my girl keeps frustrating the hell out of me. I'm used to people doing what I want them to do. You come along and have a mind of your own and don't listen for shit. Not to mention, you're too nice by half."

I was still running through the field of flowers created by those two simple words that when combined made me feel like I touched the sky. I was floating on a cloud right now. It was heaven.

"Bells, are you listening to me?" Jasper asked.

I danced back down to the ground on winged feet. "Yeah," I answered in a higher voice than normal.

"Sure you were. What's with the spaced out eyes and the glow on your face?" he asked.

The front door opened and burst my bubble. Reality sucked.

I paid particular attention to Edward when he walked in the house. He looked us both over, and any previous suspicion from before seemed to evaporate. It was a relief.

Alice carried my bags in and set them in front of me. "I'm tired of the drama. Can we leave now?" she asked.

Jasper sat up on the couch. "Yeah, I'm bored. Let's get out of here."

After his pronouncement, the crew filed out like little soldiers. I was starting to wonder if they danced on command as well. It was pathetic how he decided everything for everyone. What was more pathetic was the hurt in my heart when he left so abruptly. His departure left me feeling cold and empty, but in a strange way, it left my brain free and clear.