1Koreki Birisu

2/24/2007

Ninjatech

Naruto no Jutsu Daisuke, Koreki-sensei Densetsu!

AKA The Fabulous Tale of Koreki

And her Ninja Students

Part the Phourteen

"It's so good to be on the road again!" Sa'am laughed cheerfully.

"Yes, I don't like being in one place too long." Haku pet his bunny between the ears, "It's nice to move around…"

"Hmm…" Chiso meandered along, attached to Sa'am by a rope to keep her from getting too lost, "Chiso feels there is something missing!"

"Like what? Did you forget your toothbrush? Damn it all!" Koreki groaned.

"No, like someone is missing…"

Tap shrugged. "…Don't know what you mean…"

Arf! Team 1.86 gasped as a certain white dog with brown ears came running down from the hill behind them. A paper bag was held in his jaws as he caught up, standing in front of Sa'am. Sa'am gasped in joy, taking the bag, "Wow, my Burger Emperor Little Human meal! Yes, I knew you'd bring it, Akamaru!"

"Wait!" Koreki shouted, "Where has he been?!?"

"I sent him out to get lunch, remember?!?"

"…that's right…" Tap muttered, "He was missing from the last chapter."

Akamaru panted, after having such a harrowing journey! Sa'am gave him a few pats on the head, and Akamaru felt proud. The rest of the team was confused as Sa'am stuffed a french fry in his mouth.

"So he really did it." Haku was surprised, "I'll be damned!"

"Of course he did! Akamaru never would have problems with that sort of thing!"

On the contrary, if Akamaru could talk, he would have told him how horrible the experinece was. He could remember every minute of it vividly, hoping not to have to repeat the trip again. It had all started that afternoon before Sa'am managed to somewhat successfully preform Edo Tensei.

He had been practicing since morning, as Chiso bumbled around blindly and Tap carved satanic symbols into the furniture. Haku was, of course, sitting prettily on the couch, and Amerlin was playing her flute to her turtle. Akamaru was pretending to be a doily on an armchair. Cheeky was working hard to train the fat ninja-wannabe.

"Aw man, I need a break!" Sa'am groaned as his stomach rumbled, "I'm starving! NO, No you can't stop until you get me out of your body! Oh but Sensei, I'm soooo hungry! Boohoo!"

"Hm." Cheeky paused, "Poor dahlin… ah hah! Why don't ya send out one of your friends to getcha some food?"

"Brilliant! Hey Haku!"

"Occupied." Haku was painting his fingernails green.

"Aw, c'mon!"

"Occupied." He stated in a flat tone.

"Uh…" Sa'am looked at the others.

"Chiso will do it!"

"Chiso you fool, you're blind! You'd ruin it just like you ruined Sensei's scrolls!"

"What! Chiso never did!"

"Now you're a liar too! You're the worst!"

"Boohoo!"

"Well," Sa'am smiled a little, laughing nervously as he asked, "Hey Tap, old buddy, old friend! Would you do me a favor?"

"…" Tap glared with the anger of a thousand souls, "Never call me 'buddy' or 'friend' again or I'll bleed you dry."

"S-sorry! Damn! …Wait, that's it!" Sa'am whistled. Akamaru instantly leapt from his perch and stood before Sa'am. Digging out some money, he stuffed it into Akamaru's mouth as the dog looked bewildered. "Go fetch me a Little Human meal from Burger Emperor, Akamaru!"

Akamaru let out a woof, heading for the door and slipping out the pet flap. He quietly headed down the stairs, winding around the legs of painted ladies, heading out the door. However, upon reaching the outside, he was dazed by the crowds that passed by, and could not see the Burger Emperor building. He let out a whine, then padded up to a woman for help. Pawing at her, he whined some more, looking as pitiful as he could.

"Why, what a cute little doggy! What's this?" The woman spotted his money, "Why, aren't you the cutest little client I've ever seen! I charge ten dollars an hour, and yes, I'd be glad to do it doggy-style."

Akamaru groaned. This wasn't getting him anywhere. He left the woman and watched the crowds helplessly, the sun making him uncomfortably warm. But then he caught it- the scent of plastic, paper, and overcooked junk food. With his nose following the scent, Akamaru soon caught up to the person carrying the bag of burgers.

"I still can't believe it!" Maito Gai sobbed as he took a bite, "Tenten… Rock Lee… it's too horrible to believe! My every fiber is filled with outrage and sadness at the loss of our two young companions!"

"Terrible…" Neji was visibly trembling, staying close to his sensei. Deep, deep down, Neji knew he was next… that the next person on someone's dinner menu was him… but he couldn't say it out loud that he was frightened. "M-maybe we should go home instead of trying to get revenge."

"No! We must!" Maito Gai struck a pose, "For JUSTICE!"

"Ugh…" Neji nervously glanced back, then spotted Akamaru. "Hey! It's Kiba's dog!"

"What!" Maito Gai picked up Akamaru, "The boy who was drowned in the public toilets in the park?!? Why, yes, this is his dog! How are you, you youthful canine?"

Akamaru whined.

"I see!" The man nodded, despite not understanding him at all, "You have money! Perhaps you are out robbing banks?!? Gasp!"

Akamaru shook his head. Gai thought for a moment, then gasped, "Oh, I see, you are out shopping!"

Akamaru's tail wiggled. Gai smiled, then put the doggy down before petting him, "Well the convinence store is just down that way! Godspeed, little dog, may you purchase your items in confidence!"

"I don't think he's going to the store…" Neji kneeled down. "He looks like he's trying to tell us something… what is it, boy?"

The dog leapt up at Maito Gai's bag of food. Maito Gai laughed as realization hit him like a truck, "That's it! He's trying to buy some lunch! Well, the Burger Emperor restaruant is just down that way, young friend, two blocks! Take care!"

Neji and Maito Gai waved as Akamaru took off. Maito Gai wept thick tears, "Oh, it always tears me up to see a good, just dog on an amazing journey… how touching it is! Let us use this as inspiration to fight for Tenten and Rock Lee's memory, Neji!"

"I g-guess…?"

"Come, let us punish those fiends!"

Akamaru on the other hand took off in the direction of the fast food joint. He skidded to a halt before the building, the glowing sign seemingly hung from the heavens themselves. Puffing out his chest with pride, he walked into the building as the door swung open… but then was suddenly shooed out!

"Can't you read?!?" An overworked employee shouted at him, "No pets!"

Akamaru howled as the door was closed. Was he defeated at last?!? Was this the end of his journey?!? Would he have to disappoint Sa'am by coming home empty-pawed? NO! Akamaru was a caninja, after all, and was more crafty than most mutts. He carefully observed the crowds, waiting to hatch a brilliant plan. His ears perked up a little as he watched a mother and her child walk past, the little girl in turn dragging a doll in a pretty dress. Smirking to himself, Akamaru found a soft spot of earth and quickly buried his money, then ran after the two. When he was close enough, he bit onto the doll's foot and pulled.

"Oh no!" The girl cried.

"Why, look at that little puppy! Don't be scared!" Her mom laughed, "He just wants to play with you."

"I see! What a nice puppy!" The girl giggled, "You can't have dolly, give it back! You're so cute, let me pet you!"

Akamaru suddenly snarled, showing off his teeth and foaming at the mouth. The mother screamed and ran off with the girl, who was so startled she left the doll. With a bark of victory, Akamaru pulled the clothes off the doll, and then wriggled into them himself. He tossed the little matching hat up and caught it on his head before unburying his money and waiting for the door to open. He slipped in behind a customer, then took his place in the line to the counter. When it was his turn, Akamaru stood up against the counter.

"…hello? Hello, I can serve who's next!" The girl at the register blinked. When she heard a growl, she leaned over and looked down the side at Akamaru, her chest nearly falling from her shirt. "Oh, there you are. What a cute little girl. Can I take your order?"

OH NO. Akamaru whined. He had forgotten he couldn't talk! In agony, he fell over, whimpering. The girl watched for a moment, then gasped, "I get it, you want the heart-attack inducing Little Human Meal with extra grease, right?"

Akamaru leapt up in victory, his butt and tail shaking hard enough to whip up cookie dough, if given the chance. The girl smiled, "And a shake too, right? Okay! That'll be 5.57."

She took the sopping wet money from Akamaru's mouth and rang up the order. She passed down the receipt, then stated, "You'll have to wait for your order, it is lunch and there's a line. It ends right there!"

Akamaru glanced, and then let out another agonized howl. The line consisted of at least fifty people, bending around the restaurant. However, he submitted to taking a place in line, looking at the receipt. Number 666. He listened as they called the next number: 533. Akamaru sighed, and waited. He waited for so long he began to doze off! Two hours later, his meal still wasn't ready, and he was about to collapse into the world of dreams. However, when a brick came through the window, he yelped and sat upright.

"What the?!?" The cashier-girl picked up the brick and read the note. "Gasp! Boss, boss! It's from the McDoninjas!"

"Let me see that!" The man took it, then shouted, "YES. What we have been training for! Prepare for battle, and send a response brick! We will not succumb, in the name of the Burger Emperor!"

"Fools!" The doors burst open as McDoninjas dressed in clown suits came in. The customers gasped as the employees stood bravely. "We have come to deliver to our leader, Ronnie D, the head of the Burger Emperor on a piece of wax paper! You will rue the day you set up your business!"

"Burger Emperor employees, to your battle stations! Prepare to attack!"

Akamaru yelped and slid under a table just as shurikens and other sharp objects began flying through the air. He watched as a body fell where he had been waiting in line, hearing people scream and glass shatter. The McDoninjas completely invaded, coming through the windows, but the Burger Emperor employees were prepared. Swords and technqiues clashed, as the cook nervously whimpered, "Number 665!"

It was almost time! Akamaru took the first open chance he could to run out, narrowly missing being chopped in half by a big sword. The McDoninja who weilded the blade spotted the mutt, "Why, if it isn't a Double Bacon Cheeseburger on legs! Hold still and you'll be on the dollar menu faster than you can blink!"

Akamaru leapt up as the sword came down, then used the long blade as a springboard. Leaping high, he let loose a spray of urine at the attacker's face, who screamed and clutched his eyes. Akamaru landed roughly as the man screamed, "MY FACE! IT'S LIKE ACID!"

"Get that little girl!" Another McDoninja leapt forward. Akamaru growled, leaping onto a plastic seat. Focusing hard, there was a poof of smoke as a decoy of himself appeared, then he hid behind a plastic plant as the ninjas went for the trap. The fake dog exploded, sending knives and needles everywhere, the evil McDoninjas screaming.

"Order 666!" The cook dodged a flying kick. Akamaru barked and ran to the counter, leaping up and grabbing the bag in his jaws. Dodging a knife, Akamaru shot for one of the broken windows and leapt out, leaving the chaos behind him. He ran as far as he could, his feet hurting from skimming the broken glass. When the pain became too much, he slowly came to a halt. He whined, looking down an alleyway, spotting a couple of drunk bums. Carefully, he walked over and tucked himself and the meal in one of the bum's coats, to keep him and the food warm. With a sigh, he slipped off into sleep for the night, the sounds and sights of the fight echoing in his dreams.

In the morning, Akamaru left the bum and dragged the bag of burgers down the street, heading for Cheeky's apartment. The dog was startled to find it no longer existed, looking at the rubble and Atasuki members strewn about. He yipped and moved out of the way as Itachi suddenly dug himself out, spitting out concrete dust.

"Dammit! That bitch is a slippery one…"

"How dare they!" Robin screamed from under a tub, "They totally ruined my shoes!"

"Heh!" Z.W. laughed, standing ontop of a bed, "Just as she always has been…"

"Help!" Kisame cried, "I don't know where I am!"

"Oh, stop whining." Z.W. then spotted Akamaru, who whimpered. "Why hello, you're that dog they kidnapped, aren't you? Come here, I won't hurt you!"

"We'll just extort the information from your mind!" Itachi reached for the puppy, who tore off as fast as he could. The Burger Emperor bag hit against his chest for each bound, his heart pounding ten-thousand times a minute. However, reaching the top of the hill, he gasped! There was Team 1.86! With a triumphant howl, he ran down after them…

"Wow, that filler arc had an amazingly high-budget fight scene!" Haku applauded. "That was a cool battle!"

"Yeah! Go Akamaru!" Sa'am gave him a french fry, then took a bite of his burger. "Gross! It smells like dirty bum and it's cold! Here, eat this!" He gave it to Akamaru, who instantly spit it out, coughing.

"Man, even the dog won't eat it!"

"Chiso wants it!"

"NO FOOD FOR CHISO!"

"Boohoo!"

"Oh well." Sa'am ate it, then pulled out his shake. "This is the best! Now if only I had my arms around Maya-san… it would be perfect!"

"What?!?" Maya-san screamed. Everyone gasped, looking up at the trees, where Team 2 stood. "How dare you even speak my name, you pig!"

"Hey!" Koreki shouted, "Why are you here?!"

"We're getting revenge!" Maya shouted.

"Revenge?"

"Yes! Do you know how much surgery Santo-sensei has gone through to fix his face?!? After you and your stupid blind kid blew it up with your trap! And Sa'am hurt Seek and Tama so bad they have to wear a BUTT CAST!"

"Did you have to say that?" The twins groaned.

"Oh Maya, don't be silly." Sa'am laughed, "We can fix this over dinner, then conclude the evening with hot lovemaking in the romantic countryside, where I'll run my hands all over your anorexic body before-"

"YOU PERVERT!" She whipped a blade at him. It hit his shake, the contents spilling out, which Chiso and Akamaru lapped up off the ground. Sa'am gasped.

"Maya, how could you!"

"Prepare yourself! I will fight you all!"

"…whatever, dumbass." Tap shrugged.

"Shut up, Tap!" Sa'am hit him over the head.

Maya –screamed-, her nerves finally snapping. "HOW DARE YOU HIT TAP!" She lunged forward, blades first, at Sa'am! Everyone gasped dramatically as the chapter cruelly ended in a cliffhanger!!

TO BE CONTINUED…