XIV. DeadAlive

AN- Sorry I was away so long, real life was requiring my participation. This chapter is a little angsty, so brace yourself. Medium sized chapter, next one will be crazy long.

Doggett POV

Dana's been through so much in the last coupla' months, more than anyone ever should, and I'm grateful she's finally lettin' me take care of her.

After talkin' with Dana, I take the promotion Kersh offered me. I wanted to make sure it was ok with her, that we both leave the X-Files. She seems ready to put it behind her, and I think that's the right move.

She's on maternity leave now. Gettin' big, too. And I thought she was beautiful before, but pregnancy makes her glow.

My initial infatuation has grown over the months to full blown love.

I love this woman.

She spends so much of her time at my house that I'm thinkin' of askin' her to move it.

No sense in payin' rent to some place you're not stayin' at.

I've come with her a few times to be with her mother and brother, I like them a lot. Especially Bill, he's a good man. And I think he likes me, you know, approves of me bein' in his sisters life. I appreciate that.

Kersh promoted me to director of the violent crimes unit, so I'm still at the bureau. Every now and again I run into Skinner. Most of the time, it's pleasant.

Not his time.

He whispers somethin' to me and I follow him.

I don't believe it, what he's got planned.

Apparently, Billy Miles has turned up alive, and somehow that's lead Skinner to go and dig up poor Mulder's body.

I can't believe what he's done. It's so insane, the man is dead! What is disturbing his rest gonna prove? What's it gonna help? It won't. It's only gonna hurt Dana.

I'm against it, but here's not much I can do to stop it. I can only be here to try and shield Dana from it.

I want to do nothin' more than beat the shit out of Skinner for this asinine crap when I see Dana march through the hospital doors.

She's hostile with Skinner and I don't fault her. With me, she's quiet and rational because she knows I'll understand her.

She wants to see him. All hooked up to machines, not really alive or dead.

I say I know, but I wish she wouldn't.

She does, and I don't stop her. It's what she wants. I know she still feels a great deal of loyalty for him.

They did work together for seven years. When she was in mournin' for him, she told me everything. Their "relationship". He must not have known what he had or else he whouldna been chasin' lights in the sky like an idiot.

I'm back at the hospital to check on her. By some outlandish miracle, it seems Mulder is going to be ok.

I crack the door and see her.

Sprawled over his chest.

Somethin' says to leave them be, and I do.

Thousands of little tears rip through me, one for every moment we spent together, when I thought we could be somethin' more.

I can't really call her mine, but that's what she feels like. I take care of her, don't I?

I wait for her outside and we drive home in silence.

I sleep in the guest room that I was thinkin' about turning into a nursery. I been doin' that most nights since she's been ok enough to sleep alone, outta respect for her.

But this time it's different.

There's an awful new space between us. And I'm at a loss as to how to fill it.

She says she needs time. And I understand, and I don't understand.

The following night she stays at her apartment and I spent hours staring at the ceiling until dawn comes.

AN- Poor Doggett! How can I ever make this up to him? If you need some DSR happiness, read my story "Lumen Diabolus"! (Shameless plug)

Also, yes, I have broken away from the storyline partly, but I strongly felt Mulder deserved his life back and thought he would throw some interesting obstacles their way. Hope you enjoyed!