"I thought you said it was the Geth that were coming to help us." James muttered to Scars as they watched a squad of Quarians disembark from the Geth dreadnought. They had apparently remodeled the ship to fit their own purposes now that the Geth were all gone. Everyone else but Joker, Garrus, and James were excitedly mingling with the newly arrived help. The three preferred to stand off a little bit away from the hype and just look on instead.

The Turian just shrugged a little awkwardly, "I kind of forgot that the Geth were gone..." his sub tones seemed to pitch up higher than usual, "You know, mistakes happen and they did come in a Geth dreadnought." he pointed out as if it was enough to defend him.

James just rolled his eyes but didn't say anything more. The Turian did have a point, there was so much going on right now that it was hard to keep with the altered state of the galaxy. The reality that they had known for years had been changed drastically, "Where's Sparks?" he asked noting that the Quarian had not shown up.

"She's back on Rannoch helping rebuild the colonies." Garrus replied absently as he fiddled with his omni-tool. He had managed to get it working after throwing it against the floor in a fit of rage. Apparently the normal ways of trying to fix things weren't working too well.

"Gonna go visit her after all of this is figured out?" James couldn't help but to grin at Garrus when he froze, "Aw come on Scars, you can't honestly believe that none of us noticed." he elbowed the Turian in the side careful not to hurt himself.

"Yes...well." Garrus cleared his throat and began to fiddle even more with his omni-tool, "It was just to blow off steam." the last statement came out as a half mumble and tapered off awkwardly into the air.

James just chuckled to himself when the Turian made some excuse about calibrations and walked off mechanically to join the others in the plans to fix the Normandy. Scars was never one to get into personal stories unless it had something to do with headshots and killing stuff. Specifically killing the 'bad guys'.

The lieutenant glanced at the group gathered around the makeshift table before disappearing into the Normandy alone. The ship was silent as he walked into the CIC and the air was cool. His footsteps made clanking sounds as he walked over to the elevator and palmed it. It was nothing short of a miracle that the ship still worked.

There was a hiss and then the elevator doors slid open and James stepped inside. Without even thinking, his hand palmed the floor to Shepard's cabin and for a second James froze. He had been meaning to go down to the shuttle bay to organize his things. He moved to press the button for the shuttle bay but the doors had already opened to the entrance of Shepard's quarters and he found himself staring at the doors unable to move.

For a moment there was a painful throbbing in his chest that told him to close the doors and turn away but James took a deep breath, steeled himself and then took a step forward. He didn't know what to expect from doing this but there was something compelling about this. Maybe somehow he would be able to feel Shepard's presence or something...Shit, he was turning all weird now.

James impulsively palmed the doors open and without waiting for anything he stepped inside of the room. The doors closed behind him with a metallic click and for a moment James could only look around the messy quarters. There was a strange pressure in his throat as he spotted the model ships lying around the floor, some still whole and some in pieces from the rough landing. Her hardsuits were scattered on the floor around her desk along with a pack of thermal clips and SMG mods. He could almost see Shepard sitting in the crooked chair at the desk and grinning up at him.

The silence in the room seemed to oppress James and his ears rang as he walked over to the unmade bed this time and took a seat on it. The emptiness that Shepard left behind had never felt bigger than it did in this moment.

"James?" a voice startled the lieutenant and in a panic he looked up towards the sound of the voice.

It was Liara. Her face was touched with concern as she stood at the entrance unsure of herself, "I-I'm sorry." she offered an apology, "I wasn't sure if I was supposed to leave or..." she hesitated as her voice trailed off.

"It's fine." James stood up and cleared his throat, "I was just about to leave anyway." he shrugged and then quickly exited the cabin. As he walked past Liara he saw the look of sorrow on her face but he couldn't bring himself to say anything as he got into the elevator.

They were all hurting.

.-.-.

It had taken a few days to finally get the repairs done and by then, comm lines had been brought back up and mass relays in the immediate areas had been replaced by ones the Quarians had made. The jumping process was a bit different and a little rocky but they still worked nonetheless and improvements were being constantly made.

There had been cheers and much drinking (of what was left of the liquor) when the ship was finally able to launch into space. Almost as good as new despite the intermittent jerk in the air.

"Guys ready to make the jump back to earth?" Joker's voice was being heard by everyone over the ship's intercom. Over the last few days he had recovered small bits of his old self, but he would never be the same as before, "ETA...a few hours..blabla." his voice cut off as he turned the intercom off.

Garrus had done his best over the few days to control the situation and assume the position of a commander, although anyone could see how much he was struggling with it. Being a commander wasn't exactly his cup of ryncol. He could do it if there was a need, but he preferred not to if he could help it. Something about it felt a little wrong especially when he was taking over the position that Shepard had originally held.

James tapped his foot on the floor as he took apart an SMG and began to clean the separate parts with a grease rag. He was back in the shuttle bay trying to get his mind off of going back to earth. There were so many questions that he had but above anything and everything else, he wanted to be able to see Shepard. Dead or alive, he wanted to see her. It had been difficult to contact HQ even though the comm lines were back up, there were still alot of technical issues that had to be worked over. Messages had been given and sent but very slowly and sometimes not at all, he had tried to confirm Shepard's status multiple times but for some reason the messages were either never sent or never received. Video calls were out of the question, they always cut out.

Feeling impatient and irritated, he had stopped trying and had just decided to wait until getting back to earth, however, as anyone could guess. It was probably one of the most difficult thing that James had to do.

There was a jerk and James held onto his table to keep from falling over onto the floor. They had made the jump. It would only be a matter of time before reaching earth now. Only a couple of hours.

I'm on my way Shepard. James could feel excitement build up in his chest as he set down the rag and SMG mod. He didn't know what to expect from earth and frankly, he didn't give a damn.

Whatever was left of Shepard, he wanted to see. He needed to see.

Be it a dog tag, a helmet, or part of her armor.

He needed to see.