A/N: IT'S RULE 13! FINALLY! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS SINCE JODY MET PORTER! YEAHHHHHHHHHH *ROARS LIKE THE HULK*
~o0o~
"Well, Porter Hamilton, it's finally your time to shine." Jo smirked.
"What." Porter stopped in his tracks.
"It's finally time for rule thirteen."
Porter's eyes widened as he scrambled for the rulebook. A moment of sheer terror passed over his face as he read and re-read the rule.
13. Loki can change his gender, when this happens, it is advisable for men to stay away, or else suffer extreme blood loss via the nose.
At Porter's expression, Jo laughed maniacally.
"I WIN! TAKE THAT, PORTER HAMILTON!" They shouted, waving an outstretched finger at the despairing rookie.
"Sometimes I really hate you." Porter grumbled in defeat.
"I love you too, Port. Now go get some." Jo smirked, playfully nudging his shoulder.
"Why don't you go?" Porter asked, glaring at them.
Jo was silent. "Shit."
"We'll both go then?" Porter suggested.
"Yeah, you'll need someone to carry you to the med wing, you big dork."
"I thought we agreed that I was the nerd and you were the dork?"
"Nope, you're the dork. I'm the nerd. Stark's the geek."
"Since when did we decide on Stark?!"
"Just now."
"...You aren't wrong."
"Of course I'm not wrong, I'm awesome."
"...Don't we have a rule to break?"
"Oh yeah, almost forgot. Thanks Port."
"Mhm."
~o0o~
Jo and Porter stealthily snuck down the hallways to the breakroom, where Loki was bound to be. Jo put their finger to their lips, signaling to Porter that he had to be absolutely silent. Porter nodded. Then, Jo walked into the breakroom, Porter outside.
"Yo, Blue." Jo greeted, giving Loki a two finger salute. He returned their greeting with a deadpan stare.
"What do you want, Midgardian."
"Wow, nice to see you too. Can you turn into a lady?"
Loki blinked at Jo, almost dumbfounded. "Why in the Nine Realms would you want me to do that?"
"Rule stuff, duh." Jo deadpanned.
"Fair point, Midgardian."
There was a flash of green light, and where Loki once was sat a very, very, attractive woman. Jo gave a low whistle at the sight before them.
"Damn, Loki, they really weren't kidding when they wrote the rules, you might just give someone a heart attack." Jo joked, nudging Loki in the ribs with their elbow.
"Maybe that is the idea." Loki smirked, brushing some hair away.
"Hey, Jo, what's taking so long?" At that very moment, Porter walked into the breakroom. He took one look at Loki and stopped dead in his tracks. His jaw dropped and he didn't make a sound. He tried to speak, held up one finger, then promptly collapsed.
"Oh, shit, Port! Are you okay?" Jo was immediately by Porter's side, lifting him up and slinging one of his arms around their shoulders. Porter barely turned his head to look at them.
"I hate you… so much right now." He mumbled, before his head drooped and he lost consciousness again.
"Yeah, yeah, you'll get me later, I get it." Jo grumbled. They turned to Loki, who had changed back to his usual look. "I'm taking him to bed, and also that was hilarious."
"Whatever, Midgardian. I may do it again in the future just to see the idiotic look on his face." Loki grinned a Cheshire Cat smile. Jo gave him a deadpan stare.
"I will personally fight you if you make him faint again."
And with that Jo half-carried, half-dragged Porter to his room, leaving Loki smirking to himself in the breakroom.
~o0o~
A/N: Well you wanted it and here it is... roughly three years later. Will there be more soon? Possibly ;)