So, Fanfiction is still being stupid....Exceedingly stupid. Can't read new reviews...

Fang: YouTube won't let her log in, either...

Me: -bashes virtual head against firewall-

Fang: So, we're watching some movie called Little Women...

Me: Not just some movie, one of my favorites when I was a kid!

Fang: I guess I'm not feminine enough to get it.

Me: I love Jo. Reminds me of myself.

Fang: Minus the character kidnapping.

Me: She likes to write, she has a fiery temper when provoked, likes to do things her own way, and thinks she's just as good as the men. Go girl!

Fang: Laurie's funny.

Me: Definetely. I love him, too.

Fang: Ever notice the main guy's got a girl's name and the main girl's got a boy's name?

Me: Yeah...Lol.

Fang: Ok, we're supposed to be writing the chapter here...

Me: Oh, yeah! Let's do it!

Note: People said I didn't give enough warning last time I did this, so....PROFANITY ALERT! Nothing major, though...

Jake's POV

Paul is a dead man. Wolf. Whatever.

If he didn't learn to stay off my lawn with his damn soda cans and chip bags, it would mean war. Right now, Iggy and I were attempting to pick up the trash littered around my yard. We'd gotten Gazzy to help out for a little while, but he'd gotten bored and went back inside to chat with dad, who'd he'd taken a liking to in Carlisle's place. Dad had been telling him all kinds of stories about the Quileutes. At the rate this kid was going, he was going to be an expert on mythological creatures.

Now, the only other 'person' out here with us was Total, who was lounging on one of the few clean parts of the lawn saying things like, "There's some trash over there." and 'You missed a spot." while pointing with his tail.

Helpful little bugger, ain't he?

I was just bending over to pick up another Cola can, when I heard laughter behind me. "Jake, dude, when did you get the garbage man job, and you want to come clean my room while you're at it?"

I spun around and threw the can, hitting Seth in the chest. "Very funny, Clearwater. Long time, no see."

Seth came over and punched me in the shoulder jokingly. "Yeah, well Mom wanted to take a bit of a vacation, ya know?" His eyes travelled to Iggy. "So, you must be the new guy."

"And you must be Seth." Iggy said, coming over.

"Hey, what about me?" Total asked.

"Ahh...Total." Seth said. "I heard about you from Fang. The amazing talking dog."

Total stood and bowed. "That would be me."

"Hey, Jake, ever think of hiring that dog as an interpreter for the Pack?" Seth said.

Ok, I'd never thought of that. "Yeah, we'll discuss that later."

"I'll go fill out my resume..." Total said, getting up and stretching.

Iggy rolled his eyes as Total walked off. "That's Total for ya."

"So, Iggy, you been enjoying your time in the Pack, despite having to be related to this doofus?" Seth said, giving me a push.

Iggy grinned. "Yeah, a lot."

I had to bite back laughter. "Oh, yeah, Seth. I forgot to mention on the phone....Iggy imprinted."

"Really? Already?" Seth said. "On who?"

Darn, I'd forgotten my camera for this moment. "On your sister."

Silence. Dead silence.

Then...

"Holy. Freaking. Fucknuts."

I rolled my eyes. "Not that word again..."

Iggy began cracking up. "Your face, man!"

Seth still seemed to be in a slight state of shock. "Leah imprinted. Leah imprinted on..." He turned to me. "Excuse me, you wouldn't happen to have directions out of the Twilight Zone, do you?"

I laughed, shaking my head. "Nah, we're all stuck in the Twilight Zone around here."

"Hey, wait." Seth said. "That means Embry and I are the only two eligible bachelors left in our Pack!"

"Yep." Iggy said.

"Our numbers are dwindling..." Seth muttered.

I grabbed him by the shoulders and steered him toward the house. "Come on, man. We'll go inside, sit you down, and get you something to drink to help with the shock, huh?"

Seth nodded. "Good idea..."

"And you can meet the rest of the Flock." Iggy added.

So, we went inside, sat Seth down, grabbed some cokes, and caught Seth up on what he'd missed while he was out vacationing. Eventually, some of the other Pack members, plus Max, Gazzy, and Angel came in and joined the conversation. When Leah came in, Seth nearly went into hysterical laughter, and Leah nearly killed him. I can honestly say, if it wasn't for Iggy, Seth may not be among the living today.

"So," Seth said. "I've met Total and Fang. I see Iggy, Max, Gazzy, and Angel. That means...One's missing."

"Yeah, Nudge." Iggy said.

"I think she's off fixing her hair. Again." Gazzy said, rolling his eyes. "Girls are weird." Then he jumped, looking at Leah. "Well, I mean, most girls are weird."

Leah just laughed. "No problem, Gaz. I hear ya."

"Yeah, well I did, too." Nudge said, coming in with her hands on her hips. "And I will have you know that I am not weird! Just because I like my hair to not look like a rat's nest does not make me weird!"

"It makes you annoying, though." Gazzy shot back.

"Ok, ok, guys." Max said, putting her hands up between them. "That's enough."

By now, most of us were cracking up at the scene in front of us. Well, all except for me. I had happened to notice Seth. He had this weird look on his face. A very familiar look...

"Seth..." I said.

"Yeah, Jake?" He said dreamily.

"You wanna take your eyes of Nudge for five seconds and talk to me?"

Seth jumped slightly. There was dead silence in the room.

Then, I heard a thump as Embry banged his head against the wall. "And then there was one..." Embry said, sighing.

Leah blinked a couple times. "It's like an epidemic..."

"Please tell me there's a vaccine..." Embry muttered.

I just shook my head, trying not to laugh.

Is it just me, or is the Forks/La Push area becoming The Love Shack lately?

Attalia's POV

"Is it just me, or is this the most boring place ever?"

"I disagree, Killian." I said, skimming through the book I'd borrowed from Carlisle. "It's the home of one of the largest Covens plus the largest group of shapeshifters. It's very interesting."

"Maybe to a bookworm scholar like you." Killian said. "But not to a hunter."

"If you wanted to hunt, you should have gone along with Rafael, Fang and Edward when they went hunting."

Killian made a face. "Go hunting for what? Squirrels? Please, I mean a real hunt. I'm dying for some real food around here."

"Then head out of town for a while." I snapped. "And leave me alone."

Killian muttered something under his breath that involved comparing me to a female dog and some question as to my parentage, then stormed out. That was one of the things that worried me about having Killian around, his temper. The other was his unpredictable moods. I swear, if vampires could be bipolar, he'd be.

The third was his lust for the hunt. And the kill. (Killian, what a fitting name...)

I'd been trying my best to keep tabs on him. I knew, if left to his own devices, something bad was going to happen, something unacceptable. Most likely something dangerous.

Something that could easily destroy what little trust the Cullens had in us.

And, simultaneously, destroy everything I was here for.

Me: Seth and that darn word...

Fang: And all that imprinting...

Me: Did anyone else catch the 'We're all stuck in the Twilight Zone' thing? Get it? Ok, bad joke, I know...

Fang: We also have some good news!

Me: I CAN READ NEW REVIEWS!!!

Fang: So, shall we post the new chapters?

Me: Yesh! And...

R&R, 'cause I can read them now!

And, just because I'm random like this...

KRILL, YUM YUM YUM!!

Fang: -whacks forehead- Not that again...Bell, you're ruining my life....

Me: Those who believe in the yumness X 3 of krill, such as Bell (Aleria14) and I, shall recieve...Cookies! -holds out cookies-

Fang: And those who don't get to keep their sanity....Like Iggy and I....