Disclaimer: I do not own HSM.
Over the course of her ride from the doctor's office to Gabriella's, Taylor had tried to contact Chad via both his cell phone and the home phone about three times. Every time there had been no answer. Taylor had been hoping that there really wasn't anything wrong. It was totally out of character for Chad to get a call from the same people nearly five times and not respond. Finally parking in front of the Bolton's house and seeing no messages from Chad, Taylor got out of the car and made her way to the porch. She knocked on the door and called, "Troy, Gabriella!"
"It's open!" Troy called from inside.
Taylor opened the door and walked in. With the living room empty and the voices coming from the kitchen, Taylor went over to the doorway. "Hey guys." She greeted, seeing Troy, Gabriella, Charity, and CJ eating at the table.
"Hi mama." CJ smiled jumping out of his seat. "I go get my stuff.
Taylor nodded as he left the kitchen. She turned to Gabriella, who got up and walked over to her. "Thank you for picking him up from school."
"You know you never have to ask." Gabriella shook her head. "Have you heard from Chad yet?"
"No," Taylor sighed, "I called him three times and he never answered."
"I'm sure everything's fine." She said supportively.
"Just tell him if he screws anything up, I'll kick his butt." Troy interrupted, swallowing is food.
Gabriella giggled. "You know he doesn't mean that."
"I know." Taylor nodded. "I don't suppose you've heard anything from Chad, have you?"
She shook her head. "Nothing."
"Maybe he's at home." Troy suggested as he wiped off Charity's mouth.
"That still doesn't explain why he hasn't called back." Taylor pointed out.
"Let us know if you hear anything. You know we'd do anything for you." Gabriella said.
"Including kicking my best friend's butt." Troy laughed.
"Point taken." Taylor giggled. "Thanks guys."
"No problem." Gabriella said. "And I hope you don't mind we fed him."
"Of course not." She replied. "You take such good care of him."
"I ready to go now." CJ said returning with his backpack.
"We'll let you guys go then. Call me later?" Gabriella said.
"Of course." Taylor smiled. The friends shared a brief hug, and then Taylor and CJ headed back out to the car. As they began driving down the street, Taylor glanced to CJ with her rearview mirror. "So how was school today, sweetie?"
"It was good." He smiled. "I drawed a picture!"
"You'll have to show it to me and dad when we get home." Taylor told him with a smile.
"Kay." CJ nodded. "It came out really good!"
"I can't wait to see it." She smiled.
As they shortly came upon their house, Taylor quirked an eyebrow noticing something. Chad's car was in their driveway. Something wasn't adding up here. Chad hadn't answered his phone or their landline. Why would he totally ignore calls all afternoon if he was home? Granted, Chad could have gotten home early and fallen asleep after a tough day at work therefore not hearing either phone ring, but that still didn't explain why he hasn't called back. Sooner or later he would have gotten the messages or seen how many calls he missed. So why hasn't he? Something was highly suspect. Pulling into the driveway, Taylor helped CJ out of the car and they made their way inside. Taylor expected to walk into an empty house at this rate, but much to her surprise it wasn't empty. As soon as she walked in and closed the door, there was Chad on the couch. He wasn't even sleeping or watching TV or anything. He was just sitting on the couch quietly like a statue. That was a first Taylor had seen of Chad. She cleared her throat to try and get his attention.
"We're home."
Chad didn't respond. He didn't even turn their heads to them. No, he wasn't sleeping; his eyes were wide opened. So why ignore them?
"Hi Daddy!" CJ grinned running up to him. "I drawed a picture in school today. Wanna see? I think it came out really, really good!" He began eagerly digging through his backpack, oblivious to the fact that even then Chad didn't budge.
Deciding to investigate this herself, Taylor went over to CJ. "Why don't you go upstairs and draw another picture? You can show us what a great artist you are." She told him.
"Ok." CJ nodded, and then headed up to his room.
Once CJ was out of sight and out of earshot, Taylor turned to Chad. "Chad?" she asked, though there was still no response. "Alright what's with the cold shoulder? Talk to me." She raised an eyebrow when he still failed to give a response. Taylor waved her hand in front of his face, but even then Chad didn't speak or move. It was almost like he was in a trance. Or maybe a daze. Taylor opened her mouth to speak again, but not before getting the cry from her stomach. "Really, now?" she muttered to herself before rushing to the bathroom. Normally something like that would have instantly gotten Chad's attention and he would ask what was wrong or if she was feeling alright. But no answer from him still. Returning downstairs shortly after and chewing on a few tic tacs to freshen her breath, Taylor sat down on the coffee table in front of Chad. Yup, he was definitely in some sort of daze. "Chad." She said again, snapping her fingers in front of him. Eventually, Chad got the message and shook his head, seemingly returning to reality. He looked up to see Taylor right in front of him.
"Tay, when did you get home?" he asked.
"About ten minutes ago." She responded. "With CJ."
"What do you mean, with CJ?" he asked, confused.
"I got a call from Gabriella when I left the doctor's office. She said you never picked CJ up after school." Taylor explained.
Chad hit his head. "I'm sorry, I completely forgot."
A response like that had Taylor appalled. How could Chad use such a lame excuse? "You forgot your own son?" she gasped.
"Sure, when you say it like that it sounds bad." Chad muttered. "But if you knew about the day I've had…"
"Well it can't be anything like the great news I got." Taylor started. She was hoping that maybe telling him about the newest addition to their family would bring Chad back to reality for good, but before she could continue he opened his mouth.
"Jason came to see me at work today." He interrupted.
Taylor blinked and took a moment to process the statement. "Jason Cross?"
"Yeah." He nodded.
"Tall, shaggy hair, kind of clueless?"
"Yeah."
"From the army?"
"Yeah."
"He came to see you?"
"Glad we have that established."
Taylor shook her head, realizing that the interrogation was pointless. "So he just walked in to say hi or something…?" she assumed, even though it had to be more than that.
"Not exactly." Chad shook his head.
"Well what did you two talk about?" she wondered. "Did he say how he was doing, or when he got home? We should try to talk to him again and see if maybe we can get together or something."
"It wasn't a happy reunion like that." Chad said.
"What do you mean by that?" she quirked an eyebrow.
"Jason didn't come to see me to catch up or anything like that," he explained, "he came to talk to me about the army."
Scratch that statement about being appalled by Chad's excuse from before – now Taylor was even more irritated. "Excuse me?"
"He came to talk to me about coming back to the army." Chad said flat-out.
"And you told him you're not going back, didn't you?" she asked.
"At first yeah," Chad nodded, "but there was more to it than that."
"Oh my gosh." Taylor rolled her eyes. "I can't believe you're still on this."
"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked.
"You told me there was no more army talk, that there was nothing more to worry about. You promised nothing was going on after you hung up on the captain jerk after he called. And what happens? You bring the army right back up again." She complained.
"I wasn't the one who started it, ok? Jason brought up the subject and wouldn't let it go." He argued.
"What doesn't he understand?" Taylor questioned. "That you're actually happy at home? That you have a family to think of? That you're actually tired of killing people?"
"It's not about killing people or fighting or anything like that!" Chad exclaimed, exasperated. "It's also about helping people, you know!"
"There's plenty of soldiers and other people willing to join the army, why do they need you?" Taylor responded.
"It was either me or Jason!" he argued.
"So then let Jason go! We've already established you're not going back. You promised!" she fought back.
"You think he likes being in the army any more than I do?" Chad gasped. "Taylor, you don't even know what Jason was like when I saw him. He was serious and totally tuned in with the world. He looked like the most depressed guy on the planet. He's had about enough of that place as I did. He's even stuck working for them now recruiting people and he hates being that close to anything to do with it. The poor guy was traumatized from his experience on the field. You think I'm gonna let him go back to that?"
"You think I'm going to let you go back just because you want to protect your friend?"
"You don't get it, do you?"
"I have tried to! I've tried to understand what you went through and what it must have been like living that life!"
"But you don't know! You don't know anything about what Jason went through, and you sure as heck don't know any of the crap I had to deal with!" Chad looked her dead in the eye and she could see the hatred that he had for the life that just kept coming back to him. "Sure, you know what it's like to lose the most important person in your life. That's how I felt when I came home and couldn't find you. But you still had people. You had Troy and Gabriella and you had a life. You knew you were gonna live to see the next day. The plane I was supposed to leave on was hit and we were captured. All of us were stuck not knowing how long we were gonna make it to, or what the next day was gonna hold for us, or anything. I watched so many other soldiers die on the front and in that stupid prison cell. They didn't deserve any of that. No one deserves to die at the hands of a gun or a slow, painful death. Jason came back to me 'cause he knew I could handle that place better than he ever could. I've seen worse stuff than he did, and if we weren't out in a public place I swear he'd be a little kid cowering in a corner. He came to me so I could help people not die a death like that. There's still people in areas like that trapped by the stupid senseless fighting not knowing if they're gonna make it to see the next day and they have to watch their own family members die. If we were in that kind of position I'd pray every day for someone to come and save us. What kind of man would I be if I turned my back on the people who are begging for help and safety right now?"
It wasn't that Taylor didn't completely understand. She did get where Chad was coming from. The army wasn't just made of people to kill of other people, dangerous or not. They were also there to protect their country and to help anyone in need. She'd hate to imagine if they were the ones trapped in a warzone as well. Even so, she still couldn't understand why Chad made such a big deal out of this. None of this was his responsibility. Even if it was at one point, he gave it up to have a better life, so he could live the life he loved with the people that he loved. It wasn't his job to go out and save the world. He didn't even need to do some crazy gesture like that to be a hero. Yet the mere mention of that…that death trap…the simple thought of it…so much as even one of them bringing up the slightest thing to do with it and they were at each others' throats. Chad might have seen it as a way to help people in need and to be able to do things he never even imagined he could do. But Taylor saw it in a much darker light; she saw it as losing Chad again. The last time was pure luck; it was a miracle that he not only made it home in one piece somehow but actually found them. There was never more than one shot like that. One step onto the nearest base and Taylor might as well be planning a real funeral for him. It simply horrified her. That was why there was only one response she could think of to his question.
"The same kind of man you'd be for walking out on your family."
As much as the statement hurt, Chad knew he couldn't deny it. Turning his back on some of the people who needed the most help was just as bad as leaving his family a second time and knowing there was a greater possibility of him not returning. Unfortunately, both Chad and Taylor were very stubborn and argumentative people. Once either one of them got started, they refused to back down. And as far as Chad was considered, he was not letting in until he got his point across loud and clear. "I'm sorry you feel that way."
Suddenly it wasn't even about arguing anymore. It had become an emotional thing. Taylor jumping to conclusions and Chad biting her head off trying to make her understand was getting them nowhere. It was tearing them apart and they could feel a rift growing in between them.
Taylor has had enough of it. She knew this had to hurt Chad just as much as it was hurting her, but she refused to let it show just how much she was being affected. "Do what you want, Chad." She said softly yet icily shaking her head. "But I am not going to be the one to tell CJ you're leaving and break his heart." Leaving it at that and letting him see for only a brief second the hurt in her eyes, Taylor got up and stormed away, just going outside into the backyard and slamming the door behind her.
There was one of Chad's many flaws at work – he yelled before thinking. Chad was never one to think things through before doing or saying anything. It wouldn't be until afterwards that he'd regret whatever he had done. But at this point, he sighed and rubbed his head under the impression that there was no turning back. Still, he hoped that if he did go to the army he could compromise with them what to do rather than being sent right out. He didn't like the effects that followed his return. It was a sore spot for him and it was a sensitive spot for Taylor. And even after going head to head with her so many times, Chad didn't always know what to say after they fought. Nevertheless, he had to check on CJ, hoping he hadn't heard them bicker. What better intention to remain home than a little four-year-old boy? Taking a deep breath, Chad removed himself from the couch, not even realizing how long he'd been sitting there in that daze before Taylor had snapped him out of it. He went to the staircase and started heading upstairs to CJ's room, but looking up Chad stopped dead in his tracks. At the head of the steps, looking shocked and afraid, was none other than CJ. Chad felt an arrow hit his heart knowing that he was the one who caused his son to be so upset.
"You and Mommy were fighting." CJ said quietly, looking up at Chad afraid.
Chad shook his head and sat on one of the steps reaching CJ's level. "No…no, not like that." CJ looked at him again, and Chad knew that he'd been caught in a lie. Before he could say anything else, CJ spoke again.
"And you leaving again?"
"CJ…wherever I go to, I'm coming back." But even Chad sounded unsure when he said it, and CJ saw right through it.
"But you apposed to stay home, and we watch movies and play basketball." He said. "You leaved for a really long time before."
"I didn't mean to…" Chad shook his head. "And I never said I was leaving now."
"Mama said you was." CJ said. "And you seemeded like you was gonna go."
For that, Chad had no response. As much as he wished he had an answer, he didn't. CJ was right. Taylor had pretty much said that he was going if not then implied so. And Chad wasn't the one saying he was staying home either. With his own eyes, Chad was seeing his family torn apart. Not by the side that fought to help and protect people, but the dark side that killed and pulled people away from their families. All because of that and that he had considered going back for the right reasons, Chad was losing the love of his life and on the verge of losing his son.
"CJ…" he started, reaching out for him. Chad didn't know what else to say. But he had hoped that just reaching out to CJ, CJ would understand and they could lean on each other. But still afraid of not just his father leaving, but of what might happen now, CJ jerked away. He got up and went into his room, closing the door behind him. Chad's heart sunk and he looked down at the floor. It was then he noticed a crumbled up piece of paper. Picking it up and unfolding it, Chad's eyes fell on the picture that CJ had drawn at school, the one he was so happy about. It was of their family – CJ, Chad, and Taylor. The picture was brightly colored and about as neat as any other four-year-old would draw such an image. But they looked happy. The picture was made out of love. Where was that love now? Sighing, Chad knew what he had to do. It wasn't going to be easy, but he knew what had to be done. He got up once again and this time made his way out to the backyard. He had to talk to Taylor. But even that wasn't as simple as it sounded. Before reaching the back door, the air was still tense from their argument. Chad knew that almost any time, Taylor would tune someone out and just act on impulse. Chad wouldn't blame her if she did this time. Heck, even he had been like that on occasions. But it wasn't out of pure anger this time; it was out of pain.
Taking a deep breath, Chad's eyes fell on Taylor on the lawn chair. She was facing away and keeping completely to herself. Her hands were squeezing her arms, no doubt with her arms across her chest in such a manner that was putting up a wall between her and the world. She needed to be alone now; to let out her steam. Chad knew it very well. Still, that wasn't going to stop him from trying. He softly cleared his throat to get her attention. "Tay?"
She didn't even move a muscle. She clutched her arms tighter, practically cringing at the sound of Chad's voice so soon after their fight. It was wrong, she knew. But she didn't want to talk – to him or anyone. Nor was she in the mood to listen.
"Tay." He said again, desperately wanting to get her attention. Nothing. He took a few steps forward and reached out to touch her shoulder, but the instant she felt him draw near Taylor got out of the lawn chair and stepped away from him. Her back was still facing Chad and she refused to look at him or to let him see her face.
"Tay I just need to talk for a minute…" Chad nearly begged.
Taylor shook her head. "Shut up." She replied, barely above a whisper. "Just shut up."
He wasn't ready to take no for an answer. "But Tay…"
"I don't wanna talk." She shook her head. Her voice was shaking and she still felt hurt. However, despite that she refused to show it, Taylor was already regretting her actions. She was too proud to admit that she was making a huge mistake, that she had already made one by picking a fight in the first place.
Chad was going to try one more time. "Taylor…"
"Just go." She choked out.
It was then that Chad realized nothing would work. Whether it was for one night or for who knows how long, there was no point in trying to change her mind. At least for tonight, they were finished. Surrendering, Chad had no choice but to turn and leave.
Taylor heard him leave. She still regretted pushing him away. It was a chance to apologize for both speaking out of line and for being jerks. But it was a little late for that. Taylor simply felt overcome with emotion. She was hurt from the argument with Chad. She was angry at him for thinking about going back to the army. But most of all, she was scared about what would happen next and where it left them. Leaning up against a tree she sunk down and buried her face into her knees, just wishing everything could go back to normal.
Alright so I know I said I'd update in about a week, but instead of reading for my English class tomorrow, I was typing this. XD Ok, and watching Teen Mom, but it's addicting! This chapter was so hard to write cause especially the more I wrote it the more I was thinking how depressing this was and no matter how many times I played out howit would go in my head, it doesn't make writing it any easier. On the bright side, you guys know that Chad didn't disappear last chapter or something. But here, I was trying to write how both Chad and Taylor screwed up with things they said and what they're doing so even though one may be more at fault than the other they each still share the blame and part of that is what their relationship is about, because they can be so stubborn and things like that and get caught up in that and live in the past how they would have used to argue. It was especially hard to write CJ in this cause I almost had no idea exactly what he would say, I just knew his reaction. And where would the story be without drama or something going on? So I'm not gonna ask if you guys enjoyed it or not cause I already have an idea of what your reactions are gonna be, but the same thing holds true that I will try and get the next chapter up by next week so hopefully the sooner the chapters get up, the less we'll all deal with the torture of this reading. Ok, better end this with something totally random and not down in the dumps... PUDDING!