Part III: Dauntless (Four & Tris)

Authors' note: Hello, Readers! Thank you for sticking with us and reading this far. We are now at the point in the story that lines up with the beginning of Roth's Divergent book. Please keep in mind that in our alternate universe, a lot of things have changed. Not only are Four and Tris two years older (20 and 18), the situation leading up to this point in the story is significantly different from the original series, and our characters have been shaped by their life experiences to date. They are different versions of themselves from what we all have read in Divergent, and as a result, may respond to their challenges differently than we might have expected them to in the original series. This won't be like a reread of Divergent- this is a new world. We will pull some of our favorite parts from the original books as they fit.

Enjoy Part III!

Xo, FourTrisHEA & DivergentPanda46

PS-

We decided to post early this week in honor of my (Panda's) birthday which is today! We both really loved this chapter, we hope you do too!

Chapter 13: Starting Their New Life

Date: Choosing Day-1st Day of Initiation / Baby Natty is 5 months old (Middle of June)

Tris POV

I sit on the train as it takes us to Dauntless, resting my head against the wall. I watch as Christina, who is from Candor, is talking to a blond boy wearing Erudite blue. The wind rushed through the car, and the other faction transfers had been hit with bursts of air, and fell on top of one another. Christina and I had been sitting already and got to enjoy the show. Christina laughed, but I was unable to hear her over the loud wind. She smiled at the Erudite boy who managed to roll out from under the heap of initiates before being sat on. He is now sitting with us and talking with Christina. I could not hear his name over the loud wind. I am not involved in the conversation.

It is fine with me, I sit back and go over my plan in my mind. This is it. The time has finally come.

I allow myself one moment to remember Marcus's face as I walked up to him proudly and looked at him before dropping my blood into the Dauntless bowl. He kept his face neutral and serene…all lies. I saw the clear rage in his eyes.

I will never think of that bastard again.

Besides, I have more important things to think about right now: my daughter and our new life.

We decided that both Ruby and Daniel will travel through the city with the baby to deliver her to the front entry of Dauntless. They plan to wear their grungiest clothes and look as disheveled as possible to sell the idea that the baby cannot be taken care of by them.

It was during my training with Mother that she had mentioned that many times someone may choose a new name when choosing a new life. Since then I have been thinking of a new name for myself; Beatrice will always represent fond memories for me of my family and Abnegation. I am starting a new life now.

I choose Tris.

Ruby and Daniel know to ask to speak to a leader and then explain that Natty is my daughter, I am a single mother, and that the father had been factionless and died long ago.

Ruby has been amazing at researching our plan, there are many ex-Dauntless that are now Factionless. Many are older and didn't want to end their lives, so they went the Factionless route. I feel confident about this plan; so far all of the information we have found supports that Dauntless will be an amazing fit for us.

Over the many years there have been numerous Dauntless Initiates that have already been parents to young children. During initiation, daycare is provided during times that training occurs, while during free time the initiate is expected to care for their own child. I just need to make it through initiation and then we can start our new life there.

I smile as I think about my baby. I never knew I could love someone so much. She is the most precious thing I have ever known, and she looks so much like Mother and I. She is named after our Mother, but we have started calling her Natty. It warms my heart every time I look at her. It has been wonderful getting to spend time with her, and bond. Ruby and Daniel have always welcomed me into their home at any hour to spend time with her. Ruby laughed and said that she is amazed I am able to function with how little sleep I get.

I have trained my body to push through. I needed to be able to spend nights with my child, I want her to feel safe with me. I know that saying goodbye to Ruby will be especially hard for the baby. And their small apartment in Factionless is the only home she has ever known. Once initiation is over, I plan to visit Ruby and Daniel with the baby. I will always have a special place for them in my heart.

Not to mention they are having a baby of their own now; Ruby is almost seven months pregnant herself. That will also help to convince Dauntless to allow Natty to stay, Ruby will be sure to tell them she has her own baby on the way to worry about.

I close my eyes and picture Natty's face, her nose, her mouth…his eyes. I sigh, thinking of her stunning eyes. When I look at them I see Tobias. I can't bring myself to acknowledge they came from Marcus, of course.

Marcus.

I think about the promise I made to Mother as she was dying painfully, finally his horrific abuse had gotten the better of her. My mother's final plea…

"Beatrice," she gasps. "Keep the baby away from Marcus, whatever you do. You must go to Dauntless. And you must keep the baby safe."

I breathe in and out to steady myself. I know what I must do to protect this child.

She is my daughter now. I will never tell anyone the truth, no one.

Not even Tobias.

Especially not Tobias.

I couldn't find him at Visiting Day last year, I'm not even sure if I will see him again now. It doesn't really matter at this point. I have been through so much pain and grief since the last time I saw him, aside from remembering the hurt and betrayal…my heart is cold when it comes to him. I still keep the heart necklace he gave to me hidden in the small clutch along with only photo I have of my family. I asked Ruby to place the clutch in the baby's things so that I would get it back. That heart necklace is a painful reminder that no one can be counted on, and no one can be trusted.

I don't care that she is his blood as much as she is mine. It was my mother that died while giving birth to her, it was my mother that endured terrible abuse from a man that was outraged that his son escaped him, it was my mother whose husband altered her birth control pills in order to force a pregnancy.

After mother finally explained in full detail about conception and birth control, I remembered the day I saw Marcus tampering with her pills in the pink shell case. I told Mother the truth and she just pursed her lips and nodded. I apologized for not mentioning it to her, but she assured me that it didn't matter. Her knowing would not have changed things. She would not have been able to refuse intimacy with Marcus even if she had known. I still remember the disgusted look on her face. I felt sick myself, it was not an image I wanted to think about. Then mother smiled at me as she rubbed her swollen stomach, she told me as terrible as the situation was that she was so thrilled to be having another baby. I smiled too. I knew she meant it.

I close my eyes as I push the painful memories of Mother away, I miss her dearly.

I have only one concern now: my child and keeping her safe.

I will trust no one.

I notice that the train has been slowing down and someone yells that it is time to jump. I have been watching the Dauntless board and jump from trains for many years, always in awe. Now it is my turn.

Christina asks me to hold her hand and drag her. We make the jump and hit the gravel of the roof. The jarring landing sends us sprawling, I release Christina's hand. She's laughing.

Then I hear a commotion. A Dauntless girl is at the edge of the roof screaming while a Dauntless boy holds her back. I look over the edge of the roof, horrified to see the body of a young woman who didn't make the jump. The girl screaming is Rita, and it was her sister that died.

As I move further away to distance myself from the tragedy and wipe the gravel off my clothes, I notice Uriah for the first time. He smiles brightly across the way. He is standing alone as I approach him.

Upon seeing me his eyes widen and he beams at me, "Beatrice! I can't tell you how happy I am to see you."

His mood instantly lifts mine as I smile back. "Hi Uriah! Um, actually I've decided to go by Tris now. I think it sounds more Dauntless."

"Tris. I love it, much better and it suits you," his eyes roam over me briefly, not in a way that makes me uncomfortable. It feels more that he is making sure I am in one piece. "Wow Tris, I can't believe it has almost been a year since I have seen you. Since we met I mean…"

I smile at him remembering the day I spent at Dauntless. What had started as a mission to find help became a day I will never forget. I also think of all that has changed since I last saw him. I need to tell him, and now.

"Uriah, I need to tell you something quickly, I want you to hear it from me. But please, you can't say anything to anyone…not yet at least."

His eyebrows raise but he nods in agreement.

I clear my throat before speaking. "The quick version, I am a single mom. I have a baby girl, her name is Natty. Her father died before she was born and now I am raising her on my own. The kind people that have helped me care for her up to this point are bringing her to Dauntless today to drop her off. They have done all they can do, and of course my daughter belongs here with me."

I pause to breathe as I have never spoken so quickly while holding my breath. To his credit, Uriah keeps the smile on his face. It was his eyes that widened and then blinked as though to make sure he was not imagining the words coming out of my mouth.

Uriah smiles again, and begins to talk, "Well, I am shocked but I also think that is awesome! Good for you Tris, things are going work out. From our one day hanging out, I know you are totally badass. You got this. I can't wait to meet her, when we have some downtime—"

"Listen up!" shouts a man at the other end of the roof. "Several stories below us is the members' entrance to our compound. If you can't muster the will to jump off, you don't belong here. Our initiates have the privilege of going first."

As we all step closer to hear him I forget about Uriah for the moment. There is some chatter between initiates and the Dauntless man, I sense immediately that he is amused with us.

I volunteer to go first. I am proud. It will get me into trouble someday, but today it makes me brave.

Most important, the sooner I get into Dauntless, the sooner I will be reunited with my daughter. She makes me fearless. Just as our mother was when she protected me from Marcus.

The man steps aside, clearing the way as I walk up to the edge and look down. Wind whips through my clothes, making the fabric snap.

I see a huge hole in the concrete. I can't see what's at the bottom of it.

This is a scare tactic. We will land safely at the bottom.

I close my eyes and picture Natty's smile and her bright eyes. It give me the strength I need to step onto the ledge. My teeth chatter. I can't back down now. I think of the group of people standing behind me, probably betting I'll fail. My hands fumble along the collar of my shirt and find the button that secures it shut. I undo the hooks from the collar to hem, and pull it off my shoulders.

Beneath it, I wear a gray T-shirt. It is tighter than any other clothes I own, and no one aside from Tobias has ever seen me in it before. That was a very long time ago. I ball up my outer shirt and look over my shoulder, at Peter. He has been making snide remarks all day, he even called me a "Stiff" earlier. I throw the fabric as hard as I can, hitting him in the chest. He stares at me. I hear catcalls and shouts behind me.

I look at the hole again. Goose bumps rise on my pale arms, and my stomach lurches. If I don't do it now, I won't be able to do it at all. I swallow hard.

I don't think. I just bend my knees and jump.

The air howls in my ears as the ground surges towards me, my heart pounding so fast it hurts, every muscle in my body tensing as the falling sensation drags at my stomach. The hole surrounds me and I drop into darkness.

I hit something hard. It gives way beneath me and cradles my body. As I catch my breath I realize I landed in a net. A net! I look up at the building and laugh, half relieved and half hysterical. My body shakes with laughter and I cover my face with my hands.

I just jumped off a roof.

I see a few hands stretching out to me at the edge of the net, so I grab the first one I can reach. I instantly feel a spark upon touching the hand and try to pull back, but the grip is too strong and pulls me across. I roll off, and I would have fallen face-first into a wood floor if he had not caught me.

"He" is none other than Tobias Eaton. It was his hand I grabbed, his hand that pulled me across the net when I wanted to let go.

My eyes narrow as I stare into his dark blue eyes.

Just great.

Four POV

I check my watch. The first initiate should be jumping any minute now. Lauren just tried to make a bet that it would be a Dauntless born. She is funny, of course it will be. I remind myself I will control myself from grabbing them and discreetly asking them if there are any Abnegation transfers waiting to jump. I'm sick with nerves as we wait at the bottom of the net. This is it, Beatrice will either drop back into my life… or she won't. Part of me is sure she will come to Dauntless. I know she belongs here, I've always known.

"Four, we could really use someone like you in tech services. I mean, if you were up for some serious studying," Lauren says.

I hear the hopeful tone in her voice, we have been dancing around this topic for a year now. Thankfully she has never flat out asked me to give dating a shot, but she sure has hinted at it. I have made it a point to make it clear she is a friend, and that is all. I am not interested in her. The truth is, I am not interested in anyone in that way.

I have been here for two years and I have managed to completely avoid dating. I've had to be very firm with Zeke; there would be no ridiculous dates as Zeke's wingman. I left Abnegation determined to be alone in life, convinced I was a danger to women. Of course I didn't date when I got here. There has been no girl that ever came close to measuring up to Beatrice. Even thinking her name gives my stomach a nervous flip.

I have never stopped loving her. I sigh out loud, remembering that exactly two years ago today, I was the biggest bastard on the planet when I broke her heart, and mine right along with hers.

"What is the big sigh for? Don't you want to get a better job? We would get to spend a lot of time together," Lauren says brightly.

"If you're recruiting, you should talk to Zeke. He's much better than I am. Truth be told, Lauren, I'm just not interested."

I am hoping she gets the double meaning of my words.

Lauren plays with one of the rings in her eyebrow, she is quiet now as we wait. I think she got it.

I know the first jumper will be a Dauntless born, the question is which one. Uriah is Zeke's little brother and we are pretty close. Close for my standards, as I keep most people at a safe distance. If he happens to jump first, I could ask him casually if there are transfer initiates from all of the other factions. He likes to talk a lot, like Zeke. If Beatrice is here, he would mention it.

No, stop. I need to calm down. I really hope she choose Dauntless.

Knowing that I'd possibly be seeing Beatrice today, I've been agonizing over the choices I have made, the realizations I've come to, and the long road I have ahead of me.

The largest realization has been accepting that I didn't deserve or cause what Marcus did to me. I always felt responsible, because that is what he trained me to believe. In reality, it was Marcus that was sick. Nothing was okay about what he did to me.

So much has changed for me over the last two years. I feel ready, I know that I would never hurt Beatrice. I need to apologize to her, be honest with her and I just hope she can forgive me for the betrayal. I had to make a fast decision that fateful morning, and at that point I thought I was letting her go forever. I wanted her to hate me. I wanted her to be able to move on when she came of age. I wanted her to completely let me go.

So not only did I end things, I was cruel. It killed me to treat Beatrice that way, but I honestly did it for her.

I have grown a lot in the last two years. I know I can be a good man, worthy of her love.

I miss her, and I want to make things right. I can admit I have really high hopes for us.

Then I see her.

Not a black streak like I was expecting, but gray. The moment I saw gray I couldn't control the huge smile on my face. She is here!

As her body is cradled by the net I stare, amazed, at seeing her jump first.

I quickly put my hand out, making sure to reach out further than the rest, so she can reach it. It is as though I was touching her for the first time, the familiar sparks at feeling her warmth fill me. Is it my imagination or did she feel it too, and is trying to pull her hand away. I wrap my fingers firmly around her hand and pull her across.

I instantly feel that pull in my stomach, the strong desire I feel for her is still there. Even after all this time, I know she is the only one for me. And now Beatrice is here, with me.

As she tumbles over the side, I grab her arms to steady her. The first thing I notice is that she is different, very different than the girl I left behind.

She isn't fragile anymore. She looks strong, her arms no longer thin and weak. Even the way she stands tall once she has steadied herself after almost falling.

Always so curious, her bright blue eyes quickly look around the compound before resting on me.

I see recognition move across her face as she looks at me for the first time. Even though as an instructor I strive to remain emotionless and have clear boundaries with initiates, I am happy to see her.

And then her eyes narrow at me as she looks at me with disdain. I meet her eyes, I try to convey to her that I still care. She actually scowls at me next. Well, that didn't work.

I can't let on that we knew each other. Even worse, I don't want people to know that I started in Abnegation. I need to get her alone, and soon. I need to explain everything to her about that day. I am desperate to have her understand what happened, why I did what I did. I pray she can forgive me. I love her still, I never stopped.

Now that I am a man, away from my Marcus's repressing thumb, I see the terrible mistake that I made. If I could turn back time, I would. Instead, I need to convince her that I made a mistake, but I made it out of my deep devotion and love for her. I was terrified I would become a monster. That I would not only hurt her, but destroy her one day. I would rather die myself than to ever hurt Beatrice Prior.

"Earth to Four?" I hear Lauren's voice snap me out of my thoughts. "I can't believe a stiff was the first to jump, unbelievable!"

"There's a reason why she left them, Lauren," I say, feeling countless emotions as I look at the love of my life as she glares at me hatefully. I pull myself back into what is happening in front of me and say to her, "What's your name?"

"My name is Tris," she says confidently, so sure of her new name. She looks strong, and her voice is steady.

"You can call me Four, that's my name…now." I whisper the last part, not wanting anyone to hear me.

"I won't be calling you anything," she hisses back quietly. I feel my cheeks flush.

I look over my shoulder, past Lauren, at the crowd of Dauntless members who have gathered to watch the initiates jump, no one has heard any of our discussion.

I announce, "First jumper-Tris!"

I want them to remember her for her first act of bravery, not because she is wearing Abnegation grey. They all cheer, and suddenly there is a blood-curdling scream as another initiate falls into the net. The Dauntless do love loud noise, immediately all their attention and laughter focuses on the terrorized initiate. I leave Lauren to handle the next jumper.

I touch a hand to Tris's back to guide her toward the stairs, really I just want to feel her again. Before I can get my greeting out, she stiffens and quietly tells me not to touch her. She stops dead in her tracks and waits for me to comply.

"Welcome to Dauntless." I mumble as I remove my hand. She completely ignores me and walks away.

Well shit.

This is not going to be easy at all.

Five Candor, three Erudite and my one Abnegation. Those are my initiates this year.

Once all the initiates are gathered, I start down the tunnel, beckoning them to follow with one hand. We walk down the dark hallway toward the Pit doors.

"This is where we divide. The Dauntless born initiates are with me. I assume you don't need a tour of the place," Lauren laughs, then placing her arm around my back in a friendly gesture, "transfers, you are with this Dauntless-wonder. Enjoy."

She smiles at me flirtatiously when she thinks no one is looking. I keep my face frozen, fighting my impulse to scowl at her.

After they have left, I straighten up. I learned last year that in order for them to take me seriously I need to be hard on them from the beginning. This will include Tris. Whether she likes it or not, I am her instructor and for her own sake – I will not allow her to walk all over me. She needs to get through this training as much as the next person.

I want her to do well, but she is going to need to earn it just like everyone else.

"My name is Four," I finish after giving them a little bit of my background. I notice that Tris makes it a point to look bored and her eyes are anywhere but on me.

Before I can dwell on how disrespectful she is being, one of the Candor girls speaks up. "Four? Like the number?"

There are some giggles from the group, Tris is still scowling. No laughter from her.

Between Tris's attitude and now this one's annoying loud-mouth, I reach my breaking point much faster than I expected. I have to show them all that I'm not someone to be messed with, and I have to do it now. Tris had better listen up.

I lean in close to the Candor's face and stare at her for a few seconds, until I see her smile falter.

"What's your name?" I say, keeping my voice quiet.

"Christina," she says.

"Well, Christina, if I wanted to put up with Candor smart-mouths, I would have joined their faction," I say coldly. "The first lesson you will learn from me is to keep your mouth shut. Got that?"

She nods. I glance at Tris as I turn away. I have her full attention now, no more staring off into space.

We continue our tour of Dauntless. I wait in the hallway as all of my initiates change into Dauntless clothes. Once they are all finally finished changing I lead them to the cafeteria and explain the last of the information they need to know.

I then notice that Dauntless leaders Max and Eric have joined the outskirts of the group. I keep my face neutral and my voice steady as I continue. Max catches my eye and motions for me to hurry and wrap up the tour.

I run through the end, and dismiss the group while letting them know they have some time before dinner is served.

Suddenly Max loudly interjects, "We need a moment with initiate Prior, the rest of you are dismissed."

I watch as all initiates are still and look around to see who Prior is, when Max yells again – "Get moving!"

As the group scurries off I stare at her, wondering what the hell is going on here. She is looking at Max intently, not afraid but not completely at ease either.

"Four, you will need to be present for this. Please join us. I don't need the entire compound hearing this." Max says calmly as he motions for all of us to get out of the middle of the hallway. He no longer seems irritated.

As I walk to stand next to Tris I notice that Eric has the largest smile I have ever seen him make. His eyes are bright and his smile gets even bigger when he sees me watching him.

This can't be good.

My first thought, they somehow know that Tris and I are technically step-siblings. Damn it, I am going to get kicked off of initiation training team this year.

I stand tall and as Eric moves in closer to close the circle between our group I feel her standing next to me as she accidently takes a step too close as she moves further away from Eric. Eric is not even looking at her, he is just smiling from ear to ear while watching me.

"Eric, please control yourself or I am going to ask you to leave the discussion," Max says, now sounding annoyed again. Eric nods and holds up his hands in defeat. I notice he wipes the smile off his face, but his eyes still show how amused he is.

Ugh.

Max clears his throat. "My name is Max, I am the leader of this faction. This is Eric, he is part of the leadership team at Dauntless and he is also overseeing the entire initiation process. And you have of course met Four already."

"Hello, sir," Tris says quietly. After quickly nodding at Eric she is staring at Max intently, as though she is waiting desperately to hear what he has to say. Yet I sense no fear from her.

God, I would guess I am more nervous than she is. What the hell is going on?

"I am guessing it's no surprise to you that your daughter," Max pauses to look at the paper in his hand, "who is five months old, was dropped off at the front of Dauntless headquarters a little while ago."

Tris nods her head to confirm.

"What?!" I gasp loudly, in genuine shock. Is this a joke, or a mistake?

Eric stifles a laugh at seeing my horror.

Max rolls his eyes. "Yes Four, it hasn't happened in the last two years but there is a protocol in place for initiates that are not only parents, but single parents." Max turns his attention back to the sheet of paper and then to Tris again. "It says here that the baby's father is deceased?"

"That is correct," Tris says. She has not bothered to look at me even once. As though I am not even part of the discussion.

I want to shake her and demand to know who the hell got her pregnant! Deceased? Did Natalie or Marcus kill the guy?

"Well, obviously you don't have anyone to leave the baby with as the father is unavailable. As you are part of our initiation program, your child will become part of Dauntless as well." Max shakes his head and smiles.

"I will say, you are the first transfer that has shown up with a baby. Which also means no extended family to help with the baby, but we will make arrangements. First time for everything." Max turns his attention to me; I straighten and put my Four-face on. "Four, as you are her direct instructor this now becomes your problem. I will expect things to go smoothly and I will personally hold you responsible for any issues."

What?!

Now I see that Eric is actually covering his mouth to hide his smile. Of course he would think this is hysterical. Little does he know how screwed up this situation really is for me.

Tris had a baby!? That means she had sex with someone else! I alternate between shock, jealousy and rage. I can't believe this. I hope my face is not reflecting the horror that I feel.

Here I am, a twenty-year-old Dauntless virgin. And she shows up with her love child she had while in Abnegation. My mind is racing. I actually feel a headache forming.

"Four! Are you even listening to me?!" Max barks.

I see that Tris has a look of horror on her face as she is finally looking at me intently. Her cheeks are flushed and her eyes are wide.

What now? What could be worse than what has already been laid on me?

"Sorry, could you repeat that?" I ask, glaring at Eric who is now nodding his head while smiling.

Max sighs, "As I was saying, this is your problem to deal with. So you will need to get a crib and an additional bed for Tris and the baby."

I huff, great, now I am the errand boy. "So they are staying in the dorms?"

Eric does burst out laughing this time, even Tris turns her head to scowl at him.

"Shut it, Eric!" Max barks. "No Four, I will repeat that part too. We can't have a baby in the dorms with all the initiates, and like I said…this is your problem now…"

I look at him, completely confused. Why the hell won't he just say what he means?

"Tris and the baby will be living with you during initiation," Max says firmly.

A hysterical laugh escapes from my mouth, the hell they are. Over my dead body! This has to be some kind of joke. A large, elaborate, in-poor-taste, evil joke.

Max's eyes narrow, "Four, let me be clear with you," he roughly shoves my training binder into my chest, "this is no laughing matter. There is a small baby involved. I suggest you take this seriously. The protocol is in your training binder. I suggest you read it and get up to speed."

His face softens as he sees the look of panic on my face as I realize this is for real. "Four, it's not a big deal. The initiates have men and women in the same dorm, you and Tris will just need to make do. As her instructor, I need you to step up and help Tris get the help she will need when it comes to her baby." He chuckles. "No one is going to make you change diapers, so just relax."

Yeah, I'll do that. I am in my own personal hell, but yeah I will be sure to try to relax.

Max claps his hands, insinuating he is done with this conversation. "Tris, your daughter is at the infirmary as it is protocol that the baby have a full examination upon arrival. I can assure you she is in safe hands, I met her briefly. The baby is really friendly and was enjoying her time with the nurses."

Tris smiles shyly, "Thank you, sir. For everything."

After Max walks off, we stand around awkwardly, and finally Eric manages to control his laughter long enough to hand me a clipboard with a to-do list on it.

"Let's go, Four and Tris, I am going to follow along to make sure Four here doesn't drop the ball," Eric says happily. "Let's go learn about what life will be like for you two, I mean you three, over the next two months of initiation. This is your show Four, lead the way!"

I scowl and walk in the direction of the Dauntless daycare center. I don't even care if they are following.

I am not happy.

This is just great.