Ethereal

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or D. Gray Man

AN: Special Thanks to Future Thorn and foxchick1 for your words of encouragement, those messages you guys sent are true gems, really. Also that you ichaichalivinglegacy over on tumblr for helping me with writing this by feeding my muse ideas!

Warnings: Switching between the names Alma and Harriet, Kanda's cursing, death threats, sassiness, the usual fun stuff. Sloppy research on the music front, PTSD, mentions of Mental Disorders such as Schizophrenia, if you see any more triggers just give me a heads up and I'll put up more warnings.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

The incident that morning was soon christened with several rather creative monikers, mostly consisting of an amalgam of synonyms correlating to 'Demolition,' 'Chase,' and last but definitely not least 'Rabbit,' once word had spread around with only the bare basics being revealed for the reasons why it had occurred.

Most of the less inquisitive 'closet' gossipers had just chalked it up to 'oh dear, our resident rabbit had set off Kanda again. When will that boy ever learn?' and simply left it at that. Others who held more interest in the going-ons between Exorcists were absolutely certain in their beliefs that Lavi had either embarrassed Kanda in front of his new 'Girlfriend' or, even more scandalously, set his sights on her himself – thus finally signing the dotted line to his death warrant!

Only a handful of people knew what the complete destruction of the dining hall was truly triggered by, and while Marie hadn't been among the bystanders to this event, he was still astute enough to figure out the biggest problem in the entire clusterfuck wasn't whether or not Lavi really had pulled a 'STRIKE' on Alma Karma.

It was the fact that Kanda didn't hold back his strength.

Marie knew Kanda more than most, had known the young man for nearly a decade now. He knew his past, the callous circumstances that recreated him into a super soldier, how he coped in the aftermath of the massacre, he knew how to gauge the emotions he kept locked away from the world when they scarcely resurfaced despite his efforts of complete Apathy.

So it shouldn't come as a surprise that he understood the meanings behind Kanda's mannerisms, more than Daisya had way back when or even more than Tiedoll could on most days.

Most people couldn't understand the significance behind Kanda losing control. The Ignorant Majority all fell back on foolish bias when regarding the situation, terming Kanda as mindlessly violent, as a monster that would need to be leashed, as someone with no heart to speak of. Marie's enhanced hearing gave him an unwarranted advantage to gathering gossip, overhearing snippets of conversation best left unheard and often times leaving him having to hold back the uncharacteristic impulse to find the offenders and – he didn't even know at times, just stopping them from thoughtlessly spreading so many prejudiced attributions about his surrogate little brother, snapping at them to keep their biased opinions to themselves.

Marie had to pause in his steady stride to take a deep fortifying breath before forging on towards his destination, the Meditation Rooms. Usually he was considerably more non-confrontational in interactions with Black Order Personnel compared to, say, a corrupt Broker taking advantage of Innocent Civilians when their loved ones departed from the world, leaving them yearning for those broken bonds to be bound together once again, even just for a moment, even at the cost of their own lives.

But to hear people shamelessly disregarding Kanda as a mindless brute, despite the fact that the young man was 'a gigantic marshmallow' as Daisya used to say when they were younger before Kanda inevitably started swiping at the other boy like a flustered cat in a hissy fit, undoubtedly bristling against the insinuation and blushing to tips of his ears (or so Daisya used to regale to him with cheerful childish glee, Marie recalled with aching nostalgia, before Kanda caught the other boy in some sort of headlock as he was unable to fib his way out of the entire thing because he damn well knew Marie would hear the truth loud and clear in spite of his efforts. Heartbeats never lie after all.)

(He missed those days, even now. He regretted not being able to save Daisya back in Barcelona. Perhaps if he had been stronger…)

Marie had to take another deep breath through his nose before letting it out slowly. Now was not the time to dwell on the past he could never rewrite. No matter how much he desperately wanted Daisya back in their lives, it was the cruel truth he would have to swallow, that Death should always remain fair to all living beings and those exempt from the definite fate of all creatures would eventually fall into disconsolate circumstances, eventually dragging them into instability and madness in worst case scenarios; As proven by the resurrecting Noah Clan with their psychotic desire to reenact the Days of Darkness, by the Akuma whose souls that dwell within were driven into insanity to fuel the machine entrapping them, by the Earl himself and his fractured mind and his adamant need to see this blood washed war to the very end.

By Kanda Yuu and Alma Karma and how those who thought themselves as revolutionaries in science brought them back into this world, only intending to use them as weapons in the long run, discounted the possible consequences of doing so, justifying their actions as the 'Greater Good'.

The mistake had cost them their lives.

Marie shook off the depressing thoughts clouding his mind as he finally reached his port of call, the Mediation Chambers. The entire place was eerily silent except for the sounds of deep agitated breathing and a familiar heartbeat on the other side of the door.

Marie couldn't help but huff a bit under his breath in tired amusement at his little brother's predictable habits. Whenever Kanda had far too much on his plate that he adamantly refused to let others have the chance to offer their assistance to lessen the load for him (much less even notice considering how refined his Poker Face was) the Swordsman would either isolate himself in the surrounding woodlands to practice with Mugen or make a direct beeline for the Meditation Chambers to clear his head, organize his thoughts, or just put a lid on everything. Viciously pushing his insecurities aside with all the blunt force of Lavi's Iron Hammer on an Akuma infested battlefield.

It was only a matter of placing a bet on which coping Mechanism was the most easily accessible for the Sword Wielder, or most convenient in this case. Since Kanda's most recent behaviour had clearly stated he would rather sacrifice an arm than allow Alma to venture beyond a handful of miles apart from him… well training way off in the forest would obviously be vetoed until further notice.

Hence why Marie had chosen the Meditation Chambers as the most likely place to where he could corner his irritable little brother after the disaster this morning and, lo and behold, he was right on the dot.

Marie entered quietly, footsteps uncannily soft despite his rather bulky build, murmuring a polite greeting to the only other occupant in the room as he settled down on the mat beside him. Kanda grunted noncommittally in return rather than snap at him to 'get the fuck out!' as he tended to do with most people when he was in a snit.

Most people being: everyone except Marie, Lenalee, a handful of acquaintances from the Asian Branch, and now, irrefutably, Alma Karma.

Feeling his lips twist into a wry smile, Marie didn't bother speaking up straight away about his concerns. Instead, he flexed his fingers, invoking his Equipment-Type Innocence with a silence that breathed only lethality to his foes when they failed to notice how entangled they were in his strings until it was too late. Carefully tuning strings to his personal preference, Marie begins to play a peaceful melody, filling the silence with a sort of melodic warmth to assist in lifting the mood.

The slight rustling of fabrics reached the edges of his hearing, Kanda had shifted uncomfortably in his seat but he didn't outwardly protest to Marie's actions so the Musician took it as a soundless affirmation and continued to play.

The trick to getting Kanda to open up, Marie thought bemusedly as he hummed along with the notes his fingers continuously strummed into the empty air, was fairly simple in words compared to implementing it to action. Just two steps to follow, really.

First is to get him into his comfort zone by doing something completely unrelated to the tense situation, such as playing soothing music as he was doing now, and wait him out until his agitation had settled enough to safely approach the next step.

It took a great deal of Patience to get through this first step. Luckily, Marie had an abundance of patience in spades.

Heading into the second step had always been like a walk on tight rope, even for him. But past experience had made it so Marie could be well trained in the ways of persuading Kanda to address the issue openly. And even then he would have to tread almost as carefully as Komui would when faced with Leverrier – the man who locked up his sister in restraints and tried to mold her into a child soldier.

(Almost being the key word here. These interactions lack the intense animosity brewing under the surface, the unspoken accusations hidden behind the subtle power plays. Marie didn't think anyone could truly break the Chief Officer into submission with words wielded as weapons considering the immense endurance Komui had built up over the years in order to face his Sister's Greatest Tormenter without giving in to his baser urges and strangling the bastard.)

000

In retrospect, Kanda's severe reluctance to open up could be attributed to his concerning mental conditions, ones that the entire Tiedoll Unit were able to scarcely piece together over the years despite Marie being the only one privy to the entire story behind Kanda's circumstances (because Central had made certain to swear him into silence as they swept the failed Second Exorcist Project under the rug, not even allowing someone of Tiedoll's rank access to information that would undoubtedly sully the Vatican's shining reputation.)

It was during the first year when the symptoms were the most starkly apparent. The screaming Nightmares, the way Kanda would seem to slip and out of reality, answering to voices that most certainly weren't there, the paranoia, the way he had seemed to find no enjoyment in the outside world despite being locked away for so long –

It all added up to Mental Conditions that Soldiers thrice the Swordsman's Physical Age had to deal with after dealing with War for so long, and it was just plain cruel to have a child suffer through these symptoms while fighting a Biblical War for those who forced him through the trauma that most definitely caused these conditions in the first place.

Depression, Post Traumatic Stress, and some form of Schizophrenia.

They never discussed it aloud, considering the risks involved if Central ever caught wind of how their only successful product borne from their failure of trying to expand their ranks beyond the limits Death presented them had wound up 'defective.' Each of them, instead, had tried to help ease Kanda in their own ways without words. Marie with his music and steady support on and off the battlefield, Tiedoll with his spontaneous art lessons between missions and his fatherly mannerisms, Daisya with the protective instincts that still lingered within him from his experiences in having a handful of younger siblings and how he would teach Kanda all the games he used to play in his hometown by the seaside.

Only once Daisya had attempted to quietly inquire about the identity of Alma after Kanda had a particularly bad screaming fit of a night terror, crying out the name with the kind of heart-wrenching guilt that had left Tiedoll in tears over his adopted son's pain.

Kanda, embarrassed over his weakness, furious, terrified, heart beating a song full of festering pain after only just removing himself from his bedroll, had nearly socked Daisya in the teeth in response if not for Marie separating the boys in the nick of time.

It took time until Kanda's symptoms were considerably less noticeable to those who knew what to look for. They were still there though, lurking under the surface of Kanda's usual countenance of apathy, but forcibly concealed from prying eyes. And Marie had his suspicions of as to who had prompted the prickly Sword Wielder to hide his conditions from the outside world.

Zhu Mei Chang had taken the boy aside one day, the Musician remembered in consternation, fingers still playing flawlessly despite his faraway thoughts. Marie had happened to be within hearing distance while also being considerably out of sight at the time, returning from delivering his Mission Report to the Chief Officer when the elderly man's words had caught the edges of his enhanced hearing, only managing to keep his attention because of the mention of his surrogate little brother's name.

"Kanda… Do you still see the flower?"

"I see... Lets keep this a secret, just between you and me."

"You mustn't dwell on it. It is just an Illusion."

"That flower is an illusion."

The connotations behind the old man's words had not escaped him, despite the fact that Marie had no idea what Zhu Mei had meant when he mentioned flowers of all things. Still… Despite his disapproval of refusing to find Kanda some professional help, Marie couldn't deny the logic behind Zhu Mei's advising Kanda to never allow anyone else to know about the things only he could see, about the voices only he could hear.

To put it simply, it wasn't the conditions that were the problem – it was the people.

For example, People often regard Marie himself as invisible or incapable for his blind eyes, despite his height, bulk, and proven track record on the battlefield.

And that's just Physical Disability.

The Societal perspective of those suffering with mental disabilities was deplorable at best, downright savage and inhumane at worst. The ignorant perceive them as Genetically Defective, things to be ignored, trash to be thrown away. They actually have the audacity to spout out accusations of how Mental patients 'weren't suffering illnesses of any sort – they were only acting out for attention of all things – nothing is really wrong – they've just gone insane'

Kanda did not deserve to face that kind of disgusting, discriminating behaviour. One of the reasons Zhu Mei approached Kanda with his subtle warnings must've partly been because he was trying to protect the boy from the possibility of the masses turning against him in such a way, but at the same time, his advice had made the young Swordsman more reclusive than ever before.

000

Sighing under his breath, Marie deactivated his Innocence after twenty minutes of non-stop melodies in order to clearly discern what kind of rhythm lay beneath Kanda's ribcage, and whether or not his heartbeat had calmed down enough for him to breach the topic that he had come here to address in the first place instead of meaninglessly mourning the reasons why his little brother was always so stubbornly closed off.

Marie often likened the heartbeats of those around him to classical music of famous composers from across the world, melodies played throughout the ages. It was one of the ways he was able to discern the between the people surrounding him and whether or not if anyone approaching him was an Akuma swathed in stolen Human skin.

He winced minutely in remembrance. The melodies of those heartbeats always played in slow, repetitive echoes of the misery within the Machine. The Souls trapped, chained down by the Millennium Earl's insane will… Chopin's Funereal March almost always reflected the way their mechanical hearts thrummed beneath their blackened ribcages.

Still, Kanda was no exception to his habit of placing a song to a Heartbeat, even though, sadly enough, he often associated the young man's rhythm with one of Beethoven's most famous, more emotionally driven compositions – the Moonlight Sonata.

Kanda's heartbeat was usually pulsating the Moonlight Sonata first movement, Adagio Sostenuto – slow and sustained. Showing a still frozen calmness and consistency that was characteristic in his day-to-day behaviour. At the moment, his Heartbeat was beating similarly to the second Movement, Allegretto – a little quickly. Only now it was just slowing down, back into Adagio Sostenuto, which meant that now would be as good a time as any to begin the discussion he came here for.

"Heard about what happened this Morning," Marie started out casually in soft deep tones, hearing the subtle shifting of the young man beside him, continuing to acknowledge his presence but remaining predictably tight-lipped. "Hard not to with Jerry screaming at the top of his lungs about the Collateral Damage to his Kitchen. I'm guessing the Chef roped you into Dishwashing Duty again, to help pay for the repairs."

There was a long pause, and then Kanda grunted an affirmative with only a mildly irate undertone to convey his exasperated annoyance at the situation. The Musician took the fact that Kanda wasn't annoyed enough to draw his sword as a good sign of his little brother being in a much better mood before forging on.

"Komui is reporting the main cause to be Komlin despite everything," Marie continued, lips twitching in belated amusement at the reminder, "Central will probably pass it off as unimportant. They usually do when handling the Chief Officer's Eccentrics. Their Priorities are as questionable as ever."

That managed to gain a huff of derisive amusement from the young man beside him.

Then Marie smiled with a teasing tilt to his lips, "Although I thought you had sworn off letting the Head Chef get the better of you after the last time he forced you to work in the kitchens. What changed your mind?"

Unseen by the Musician's sightless eyes, Kanda's ears were stained a deep shade of red as he reluctantly supplied Marie with the reason for his surprising compliance, "Alma told me she would be helping out in the Kitchens from now on. The baka volunteered for some reason," he paused, as if contemplating for a moment. "I think, maybe, it's because Jerry must've taken her under his wing. Alma and him seem to click fairly well. Not surprising considering they're both spazzes."

The Musician huffed a dry laugh at that. But while Marie enjoyed the easy amiable atmosphere, he knew that beating around the bush for too long would only irritate Kanda further rather than ease him to open up.

Time to take the plunge.

"So," Marie ruminated, putting his thoughts into words as carefully as he could, "You must be quite protective of Miss Karma then."

The older man could practically feel his little brother tense up beside him. Not much, but enough to know that Kanda had already caught on to where this conversation was leading. Not surprising considering that they've had a handful of talks like this before in the past and Kanda was as sharply perceptive as his blade when he put his mind to it.

"She's important to you," Marie pointed out cautiously, now daring to prod into more sensitive territory, "Important enough for you to be protective of her well-being." 'Important enough for you to fear losing her,' was left unsaid but judging by the sound of Kanda's breathing patterns becoming the slightest more erratic, the Swordsman heard it loud and clear.

The pulsate of the music within Kanda's ribcage had also increased in tempo, the Swordsman's Heartbeat surreptitiously going into Allegretto once more.

"What caused you to loose control this morning?" Marie finally asked, getting to the heart of the matter, "You always hold back when going after Lavi or Allen whenever they aggravate you. Were those attacks really meant for Lavi, or is it something else entirely? Is it fear Kanda? Is that what caused it? Or does it have something to do with Miss Karma?"

Still strained silence followed in the wake of his inquiries. And then –

"How do you feel about Lotto?" the Swordsman roughly questioned in return, startling Marie in how bluntly direct the pointed accusation was behind the admittedly simple inquiry, "The answer is the same. Hell, the entire reasoning is the same."

Marie didn't even have to consider the ramifications of the confirmation of his suspicions; they were as clear as day, as starkly apparent as the way the Upper Brass would take shameless advantage of this weakness should there be a need in their self-righteous, self-entitled eyes, "You love her." It wasn't a question.

"As a sibling, as a friend, as a Lover," Kanda sharply affirmed, voice rigid with discomfort at the admission, yet carrying an unshakable conviction Marie doubted anyone could deny, not even God himself. "It doesn't matter to me. This – This isn't just a damn emotion, Marie. It's a decision I chose for myself, it's a judgment I passed, it's a promise I made."

Another moment of still silence passed between them, leaving Marie a chance to calmly digest the revelations that lay before him, before Kanda finally relented and vented further. Explaining haltingly about the concerns which festered in his mind ever since he had carried Alma Karma through the Ark Gate and into Headquarters with the kind of grim determination that had the Security Team stationed at the gate practically scrambling back as the Swordsman marched past, not even daring to ask for the young man to stop and undergo the usual security checks for fear of being on the wrong side of Mugen.

It spoke volumes of the importance Kanda placed on the safety of Alma Karma and how much trust he was willing to give in their camaraderie by the way he actually vented everything.

And while the whole concept of Kanda being able to open up this much, far more than he had ever done in the past, was like a bolt from the blue, the Musician didn't allow his shock to deter him from listening attentively. The pieces finally started to fall into place in Marie's mind. The reason why Kanda had allowed his fined tuned control over his enhanced strength to slip…

It was Displaced Aggression, and fear.

All the frustration built up by Central, by the Noah Family, by this entire war and how it could snatch away the reignited chances he had of happiness with the one who obviously mattered most to him…

It was finally hitting Kanda full force.

The entirety of the situation was finally setting in, becoming increasingly clear and painfully undeniable to the Swordsman in how helpless of a position he was in.

Central held all the authority in the Black Order. The Pope even more so. And they weren't above abusing their power either. Any Exorcist who didn't hold the title of General held little power to stop those bastards from doing what they pleased. And it wasn't uncommon for higher officials to forgo informing certain individuals of orders that would be considered questionable at best or morally corrupt at worst. As proven with how Malcolm C. Leverrier commissioned the creation of the Third Exorcist Project with the assistance of Renee Epstein, leaving Komui in the dark about the entire operation until it was too late to prevent the experiment from coming into fruition.

As for the Noah Family… well. Just as Marie had said before, after the invasion of their old headquarters, the Earl has the power to eliminate them at any given time. And that was a threat to Alma's safety that Kanda could not ignore even for a second. Enough said.

"And those bastards at Central will be sending her off on Missions as soon as they can find a second Guard Dog to follow her around," Kanda growled in frustration as he scrubbed an agitated hand through his hair, tugging the raven locks out of his regular ponytail in the process. He didn't bother fixing it, instead letting his hair curtain around his face in a pointless attempt to hide his discomforted expression from anyone who might walk in on the two Exorcists.

Gritting his teeth behind his lips, Kanda glared down at his clenched fists to give himself something to focus on. Talking like this had always felt like he was pulling his own teeth out, so incredibly complicated and fucking difficult for someone who had always kept his responses short and staunchly clipped in normal interactions. He much preferred letting his actions speak for themselves. But Kanda knew he needed to get his concerns out in the open instead of letting them fester like a malignant tumor in the back of his mind. His loss of control this morning proved that ruthlessly bottling everything up this time would only end up sabotaging his self-control. Before the Invasion on the North American Branch, it hadn't been a problem, but the added stress of having someone to protect made all the difference.

He couldn't afford to be careless; he couldn't afford to have his suppressed emotions be taken advantage of when they burst forth unexpectedly.

He couldn't afford a lot of things, not with Alma at stake.

"The Third following her now isn't fit to head out into the field, not with his legs still recovering from his confrontation with Sheril," Kanda continued caustically, "My guess is they'll be assigning another Third to her while on Active Duty."

"You think the Higher-Ups will be sending her off so soon?"

Kanda snorted in contempt, lips twisting into a callous icy smile unseen by Marie but the bitter animosity conveyed was felt all the same, "Those Bastards are slave-drivers on their best days and with the sudden surge of Akuma Sightings these past few days along with the fact that Alma is among the most 'Physically Capable' at the moment…"

"So you're worried they'll send her off without you?" Marie asked surprised, "Kanda you don't – "

"Yes, I do!" Kanda abruptly snapped, voice almost cracking in an alien sort of way Marie had never heard from the Swordsman before now, sounding shockingly close to terrified as his Heartbeat launched into Presto Agitato – Fast and Agitated, "Out there in the open she'll be easy pickings for Central to snatch her up again and chalk up her disappearance as M.I.A. or whatever fucking excuse they decide to shove down our throats! I can't let that happen! I can't lose her again Marie!"

000

Waiting for his little brother's breathing and heartbeat to calm into slow and sustained took considerably less time than previously, but it still gave Marie enough time to contemplate how to reassure Kanda with one of the only ways he knew the Swordsman would understand.

A simple but undeniably resolute promise.

"You're not alone in this Kanda," Marie told him firmly, gently clapping him on the shoulder in assurance. "We all look out for each other on the battlefield, God knows that Allen would rip apart Central if any of us were wrongfully taken in as Heretics. And Alma is a strong woman, she's like Miranda, Lenalee, Emilia and Klaud in that respect. She's the kind of girl who won't go down without a fight. So I don't think you should place yourself between her and the dangers behind this Holy War as her knight in shining Armour. Stand beside her as a King, because as far as I can tell, she's nothing less than a Queen."

Another long pause.

Then Kanda actually huffed a laugh, more lighthearted than Marie had ever heard from him in all the years he had known the Swordsman. "Damn Straight. "

Not even a moment later, the Swordsman shifted abruptly, swiftly standing and Marie allowed the grip he had on the younger man's shoulder to fall. The Musician arched an inquisitive eyebrow at the sudden movement.

Kanda answered the unasked question with a contempt that lacked any real bite, "I left Alma with the Baka-Moyashi. Might as well head back before she catches his brand of stupidity, " footsteps resounded on the wooden floorboards as he made his way to the door, "Maybe I can convince one of the cooks to whip up some food for us, if Jerry's isn't pissed anymore we could ask for some decent leftovers instead. God knows even the scraps of that Chef's works could rival most Five-Star Restaurants."

It was an offer of accompaniment and an underlying 'Thank You' conveyed all at once.

Marie smiled as he stood to follow.

000

From his interactions with Yuu, Harriet had concluded that Allen Walker was a sassy spitfire wrapped up in a deceivingly innocent gentlemanly package.

But, it wasn't until now that she discovered the white-haired parasitic-type Exorcist was also a suave, mischievous flirt when it came to one Howard Link.

It was both adorable and the most hilarious thing ever.

Harriet grinned brightly, stifling her giggles behind her hand alongside Lenalee as Allen laid it on thick, gently teasing and subtly needling the former CROW with all the finesse of a Professional Performer skilled in the ways of modern charm and playful banter. His bright silver eyes alight with a special kind of warmth and his smile wide with merriment every time Link would respond to his comments with stiff formal professionalism.

Or at least that was what the poor guy was trying to do.

The blond actually looked hot under the collar at the moment, what with that vivid flush crawling up his face, as he continued to attempt to steer the conversation elsewhere, even going as far as to maneuver himself between the larger pieces of rubble they were all assigned to clear away by Chef Jerry, using the rubble as a repellent or shield. Harriet stifled a hysterical cackle as Link did just that, once again. He even cast a flustered, helpless glance at Tokusa that basically said Assistance-would-be-appreciated! or maybe it was just a plain Don't-just-sit-there-help-me-dammit! Look. It was hard to tell at this point.

Tokusa just smiled his trademark Cheshire smile and left his comrade to his fate, his own eyes shining with evil mischief, as if he was internally contemplating all the most embarrassing ways he could 'push' the former CROW into the Exorcist's arms.

Harriet approved of this immensely.

Though, in all honesty, the Witch had to give Link some major credit, keeping an air of decorum while attempting to bat away the advances of someone who could most definitely trick the best conmen out of their underpants was quite a feat. 'Even using his surroundings to his advantage, impressive indeed,' Harriet thought in amusement as she watched Link duck behind a rather large pile of wooden planks in such a casual manner that it didn't even seem like he was trying escape Allen's top class flirtation techniques even though he totally was.

Across from her, at the miraculously intact archway entrance, Lavi, who was bringing in more cleaning supplies with the help of Krory and Timothy sighed in an exaggerated swoon as soon as he caught sight of the free show the two young men were presenting everyone with, "Young love is beautiful, no?" he asked loudly enough for his voice to echo.

There was a suspicious sputter from behind the aforementioned pile of planks, and Allen gave them all an exaggerated shameless wink.

Both Harriet and Lenalee gave up all pretenses and burst out laughing, even Miranda was giggling at the boys and their antics at this point.

000

All of them had been roped into helping clean the destroyed Cafeteria, with the exception of Komui who had been dragged off back into Paperwork Hell by his Secretary, kicking and crying crocodile tears the whole way, and Yuu who had left earlier after assuring her he would return later on. Possibly off to cool down his temper, which was understandable even if it did make her worry over his wellbeing. Still… It was also probably a good idea for her to get used to being outside his company as well, she needed to get used to being around his friends without his constant presence to support her.

It helped that Allen and Link were perfectly willing to be good distractions, even if unintentionally. Their banter giving her something to focus on, helping ease the nervousness bubbling up in the pit of her stomach. Washing away the discomfort brought on by her constant doubt and insecurities about whether or not she could completely trust these people, despite knowing these were Yuu's comrades, his brothers and sisters in arms.

She shook her thoughts off once again, focusing instead on remembering the furniture quips Allen had been dishing out earlier. Harriet stifled an unladylike snort, idly brushing off her clothes, having switched out the frilly apron with a sturdy smock before making her way over to Krory. Easily gliding between piles of assorted piles of rubble over to grab a broom and dustpan from the man's proffered hand, thanking him quietly with sincerity as she set out to sweep up the smaller pieces of debris. Some of Allen's more cheeky comments were quickly becoming her all time favourites. She was totally going to use some of them on Yuu at some point. The Swordsman wouldn't know what hit him.

And speaking of which, there was the long-haired swordsman now, striding up through the entrance and grumpily snatching up the smock and broom cheekily offered to him by Lavi even as the redhead's single jade eye flicked over his friend's face in well hidden concern. In response, Yuu 'accidentally' smacked the rabbit upside the head with the broom handle as if saying Quit-being-a-fucking-worrywart-I'm-fine. Undeterred by this, Lavi beamed back, assured and relieved. The man behind them – Marie? – whom was likewise receiving his own smock from Miranda, shook his head in bemusement at their antics, something niggling at her when he older man looked up enough for her to see his dusky skinned face and blind eyes softened in fondness despite the tired lines carved into the expression – oh god.

The warm bubbly feeling of contentment in Harriet's chest plummeted.

Her night terror, still so freshly stark in her mind's eye despite her efforts to keep it at bay, brought one specific memory to the surface.

The moment Yuu had carried a man three times his size into the chamber, a man she had brutally tossed aside like a ragdoll when the Snake within her had taken the reigns of her body; The same man who she hadn't completely recognized when he had officially introduced himself to her just the day before over lunch, the same man whom she recognized now.

Harriet, somewhat hysterically, pondered if her mind did this to her on purpose.

Whether it was some form of Retrograde amnesia, some form of deliberate damage inflicted on the Hippocampus of her brain, or most likely whatever effects had occurred when those Scientists had continuously 'reset' her Regenerative Core - Something had pushed to its limits to keep her memories from resurfacing, to keep the experiences that shaped her into who she was today hidden away like a dirty little secret, to keep her away from the truth, from unearthing the secrets behind her imprisonment within the Laboratory.

From realizing just how unnatural their births were, children were not born from glimmering steaming hot springs, vividly fiery-toned in colour, akin to the Yellowstone Volcanic Pools Harriet only vaguely remembered secretly reading about from the National Geographic Magazines Aunt Petunia had sometimes absentmindedly left behind on the counter top whenever she was searching for the Dursley Family's next Vacation spot, intentionally leaving her niece behind every time out of spiteful childish jealousy.

Living beings also did not crawl their way into the world already grown into the prepubescent stages of life, similar to how her beloved flowers blossomed from the depths of mud and graced the world with their beauty, first as simple buds before maturing, unfurling petals over time as they reached the skies, representing themselves in Harriet's eyes as the incarnations of magnificent strength and grace.

It was such a dark irony that her favourite flowers would represent her unwilling resurrection in so many ways. It left a bitter taste in her mouth, rivaling the aftertaste of Akuma Nucleus in levels of repugnance.

They had risen from Death's cold skeletal hands, unknowingly taking the hands of those they had once fought alongside, of those they had actually considered as comrades, allowing those bastards to drag them back into a war as possessions they refused to let escape, even when already so deep into their graves.

Bastards who didn't even have the decency to keep their sticky corrupt fingers from manipulating the physiology of their brains. Disregarding any lingering damage as inconsequential.

Harriet grimaced, her hands tightening painfully around the handle of the broom as she turned away, pretending to be ignorant of the Swordsman's arrival with that familiar man trailing behind him by sweeping away the debris around her into the dustpan with a tad too much concentration to be considered casual.

She was definitely going to pin the inconsistency in her ability to remember important information on them, on Central. She used to have such fantastic memory, nearly photographic in quality just like her Mother, or so she was told by Remus and Sirius way back when. It had been so useful when she ended up in those bloody insane situations back at Hogwarts, her mind comprehending and understanding every detail the Teachers always seemed to miss, piecing together information, unraveling the conspiracies that lay in plain sight.

Even when she had been stranded here in this world, her uncanny ability to remember the things she had secretly studied in the Little Whinging Junior School Library, away from the Dursley's vitriolic threats against her taking their Dudders rightful place as the more intelligent child (at least on school records) had been an invaluable resource. The Witch had first assumed that she had gone back in time when she had arrived here, the assumption had her scrambling to avoid pulling off a stunt more fit to belong in that Ray Bradbury book, the one where crushing a butterfly amounted to extinction level events, even going as far as changing her name and bleaching her hair as blond as Malfoy's to avoid the dreaded Butterfly Effect.

A month or two had passed before she had managed to compare the Historical facts from her own world with the actual events happening around her enough to figure out she wasn't even in her own timeline, she was in a different dimension altogether.

Harriet had thought that, maybe, her Regenerative Core had completely healed the damaged Neurotransmitters in her mind by now. Maybe it was because the mind was so delicate and intricate that it took a considerable amount of time to fix? Or because she had been trying so goddamn hard to disassociate herself from the reality of the memory pertaining to that gruesome night in order to keep her emotions under control so the Snake within her wouldn't reawaken? Huffing tiredly under her breath, Harriet bent down to grab her dustpan and headed for the nearest trashcan to empty out the contents.

Well, whatever it was, it didn't change the fact that her memories of this man, this Marie, were only now resurfacing. And, quite honestly, she didn't know what to do with these pieces of information.

"Alma?"

Harriet started, almost dropping her dustpan back onto the floor if not for the hand that had snapped forward to grab her own in order to keep her grip steady on the handle before the contents could spill. Still flat-footed and disoriented from her earlier revelation, she could only snap her head around and stare back into sharp midnight eyes blankly before forcing the tension in her shoulders to ease away and forcing the grip she had on her broom to lessen. She plastered on a cheery smile that contrasted greatly with the discomfort churning in her gut.

"Hey Yuu!" she chirped in greeting, wriggling her hand free while still keeping hold of the dustpan, "Good to see you feeling better! You missed quite a funny scene while you were away. It was hilarious as heck! When were you going to tell me about Allen being the Romeo to Link's Juliet, huh? "

Yuu didn't rise to her teasing tone; he didn't even grumble a derogatory comment. Harriet resisted the urge to wince.

His silence along with his complete lack of reaction, more than anything, tipped her off to the fact that he already knew something was wrong. But, as always, he didn't ask what was wrong, nor did he show any useless pity. He just looked over her expression, eyes penetrating and concerned, his lips tilting down into a confused frustrated frown. She knew that expression well enough to interpret the meaning without any trouble. The Swordsman did know something was amiss but, as always, he was willing to wait her out until she was ready. Even if it aggravated him something fierce, he would wait. And it made her feel both pathetically grateful for his consideration and horribly guilty over being such a stupid burden when her problems were nothing compared to the war raging around them.

Thankfully, Allen Walker, whom had noticed her discomfort and being the magnificent cunning bastard worthy of the Slytherin House that he most certainly was, spoke up to the Swordsman challengingly, diverting his attention with expert ease and thus giving her room to breathe.

"Oi, Bakanda! What do you think you're doing lazing around when the rest of us are trying to clean up your mess?"

"What was that, Baka Moyashi?"

And just like that the two descended into a verbal snarling match, trading insults like there was no tomorrow. Harriet laughed at the appropriate times to avoid further suspicion but her heart wasn't in it.

And if her eyes avoid the hulking figure of Noise Marie, nobody calls her out on it. Not even when she feels the assessing gazes of the Bookman Apprentice and the two CROW watchers burning holes into her back, giving her the sensation of uncomfortable transparency.

000

Chef Jerry shooed them off soon enough, telling them to take a well-deserved break. Harriet suspected the Chef just wanted to chase off Yuu and Allen before the boys could start blowing off steam in a more physical manner, thus risking more damage to the already demolished eating area.

All of them ended up at the Training Hall to let the boys go at it in a more appropriate environment, as if all of them had mutually shared the same assumption concerning the two Hot Heads. Huh. Harriet blinked in bemusement as she sat herself on the sidelines with her legs folded under her, careful to tuck the skirt of her dress under her as well, watching the two aforementioned Exorcists perform a handful of warm-up stretches over on the nearby mats, Lavi and Krory following their example farther away as Lenalee and Miranda went off to change out of their skirts so they could spar as well without having to worry about accidentally flashing someone while preforming a high kick. A young woman, whom had introduced herself as Emilia Galmar, had ushered off Timothy earlier for a tutoring session.

Yuu's and Allen's rivalry and the ensuing spats must be a pretty regular occurrence for everyone to know just what to do when the boys start going at each other like two territorial Hippogriffs fighting over the last dead ferret in the feeding bowl.

Only there was no Rubeus Hagrid here to break them up.

So the only option left was to let them fight it out.

Sardonic amusement bubbles up inside her system at the thought of such hilarious predictability, and the feeling grounds her enough to relax, allowing her earlier revelations to fade into the back of her mind and for the discomfort in her stomach to ease.

It's just her luck that the illusion of peace is shattered when the very person she'd been avoiding for the last few hours chooses that moment to take a seat beside her, bringing back the discomfort with a vengeance and forcing the earlier issue to the forefront of her mind in a most unwelcome manner.

Harriet stubbornly forced herself not to tense up at his sudden arrival, and she couldn't bring herself to look at him so she just… sat there, still and silent as a statue, unwilling to speak up and ask him to move. She was already being unfair enough to him as it is, ignoring his existence just so she could gather her thoughts in a semblance of peace. Asking him to move aside would be taking it too far.

Ignoring the CROWs behind her and the man beside her, Harriet flicked her gaze ahead to watch as Yuu and Allen started sparring, expertly trading punches and blows with the occasional verbal provocation thrown in. Their movements were fast, intelligent, and, on Allen's end, sometimes downright dirty.

She had been hoping to find a better time to speak with Marie about what had conspired between them nearly a decade ago.

But her fraying self-restraint and the guilt threatening to suffocate her had other ideas.

"I'm so sorry," she croaked out of her throat so unexpectedly that it even surprised herself, what on earth was she doing? In front of the CROWs no less? This wasn't exactly a topic meant to have an audience, much less in front of people who would no doubt report the conversation to the Higher-ups, who would no doubt find something in her words to use to their advantage.

It must the Gryffindor side of her rearing it's stubborn brash head, refusing to let her skirt around the issue any longer than necessary.

"I… couldn't recall your face before now," she swallowed, her throat suddenly tight, still unable to look at him, "You were there that night with – with Yuu. He carried you in and I – I – "

She started a tad violently when a hand, large and warm and unbearably gentle, patted her on the head, the gesture shockingly reminiscent of her first friend, the Half Giant from long ago.

Vivid Emerald green eyes hesitantly flicked up, looking at the man beside her and finding the same wholehearted kindness and compassion Hagrid had seemed to radiate within his visage as well. Something inside her heart clenched at the sight even as the knots in her stomach unwound and faded.

"There was never any blame I could lay at your feet, Miss Karma," the man, Noise Marie informed her sincerely, sightless eyes soft with a deep understanding, "Considering the circumstances… I would be lying if I admitted I had not been tempted to do something similar."

Something about his confession struck a chord in her, her gaze passing over his features in consternation. "You know what happened to us," she observed warily in surprise.

"I heard the whole story from Kanda just before we set out to find you," he admitted softly, removing his hand to rub absently at his forehead as if in remembrance of an old battle wound, though there wasn't a scar in sight, "he found me on an operating table, my head split open from a fatal injury, brought me with him after healing me up."

An icy chill crawled up her spine. She swallowed the lump in her throat, reading between the lines easily enough.

This man had once been enlisted as experimental material for the Second Exorcist Project.

"Find me?" she echoed, choosing to skirt around the horrifying implications and settle on what seemed to be a safer change of topic.

The older man tilted his head in thought, sightless eyes showing a sheen of sharp appraisal, "Personally I didn't know about why Kanda had been delaying our escape at the time and he didn't say anything, he never does," Marie said wryly, absently gesturing to the Swordsman who was currently sending a kick towards Allen's head, the white haired Exorcist barely dodging a direct hit even as he still received enough of a glancing blow to go spinning to the floor, "But he lets his actions speak for him. Rather than break through the roof with his Innocence, he crawled through the ventilation and tip-toed through the halls frantically searching for something important, or, in more likelihood, someone."

A moment passed while she registered the information he was freely giving her, a sort of frigid numbness washing through her as it all set in, leaving her insides feeling like they were dropping out to the other side of the world. Her breath hitched as her mind raced, "He – he came back for – "

She couldn't even say it, couldn't believe it. Yuu had…

He had… come back for her.

He had come back for her.

He had risked being recaptured by CROW, had risked the very real possibility of being euthanized or, even worse, being at risk of being strapped down and picked apart as new experimental material. Or perhaps even just being brainwashed into forgetting the gruesome truth just so those bastards at Central could have the easily malleable Toy Super Soldier they wanted in the first place.

He had risked his freedom just for a chance to let her escape alongside him from that Hell Hole.

And in the end, it wasn't even Central or their cronies who had destroyed him.

It had been her.

He had come back for her –

A pair of pale shaking hands clenched tightly, the owner of which hardly noticing the blood dribbling from her palms.

– and she had destroyed him.

"He doesn't blame you either."

Harriet snapped to attention, trying to get her breathing under control as her entire body shook from the repressed emotions churning inside her at the revelation.

One glance at the man beside her, at his body language and his open expression, told her that he wasn't lying, that he truly believed the Swordsman held absolutely no ill will towards her for what she had done.

She bit her lip, not knowing what to say in response to this. The only way for someone to know what Yuu was feeling on a regular basis was if they had prolonged contact with the grumpy young man and even then –

Green eyes went wide, her breath hitching as she realized.

"You've stuck with him this whole time," tears prickled at the corners of her eyes, gratitude overwhelming her, "Thank you."

Marie smiled, pleased by the rhythm behind her ribcage, "I would've done it again in a heartbeat."

000

AN: Wofwalker if you're reading this, I'm gonna need you to set up that grave stone you made for me because this chapter has killed me. Holy crap why the hell was this so hard to write? MARIE WHY WERE YOU SO HARD TO WRITE?!

In other news, this is the last of the beginning arc for this story, at least I hope so. It's gonna get a little more fast paced from here, now that the foundations have been set. Next chapter will likely feature the Third Exorcists. I may expand on more details on my Author's page. But I'll have to do it later. Right now I have to head to work. BYE BAES LOVE YOU ALL ILL SEE YOU NEXT UPDATE