"You're doing too much, Lily," the boy beside her says.

Hermione raises her head recognizing the black-eyed boy who called her 'Lily". Without choosing her words, they leave her lips. "I'm fine, Severus."

"Which explains the dark rings looming beneath your eyes."

"I just need a few more signa—"

"Lily," he cuts her off in an impatient manner that Hermione was far too familiar with. "Listen to me. You are fifteen, nobody is interested in a petition started and circulated by a few kids. Your letters have been ignored and we saw how the protest unfolded. One little girl is not going to change the world."

The words for some reason cut through Hermione like a knife, fury and sadness mixed together in a dangerous concoction suited for the bomb that had been dropped on her. Tears fill her eyes as she opens her mouth to attack her attacker. "How dare you say that? After everything that happened this summer you have no right to say that! Someone, something has to put a stop to this war! People are dying and don't you dare say they're only muggles! My brother died in that war thinking he could bring about peace with a gun! I won't rest until the bloodshed stops!"

"You're trying to do too much. You;re wearing yourself thin between the campaigning to end the war of the gulf, trying to track the movements of the Dark Lord and you're still the over achiever in all of the classes. If you're going to work yourself to death, at least chose a goal that's obtainable!" he yells back, his fury too familiar to upset her. His comment on what her brother died for was a different story.

Hermione is now with the knowledge that this boy had been her oldest and dearest friend. He had seen her through thick and thin, taught her about magic, the two read stories together as children, they'd play together for hours, re-enact scenes from books they read, and talk for hours star gazing. He hated her boyfriend, but other than that he was the most supportive person in her life.

"Severus!" she shrieks at him. "You son of a bitch!"

Hermione opened her eyes happy to see the ceiling of the girl's dormitory and not the one of the hospital wing. She shrugged the dream away, or tried as she got up. Since her heart transplant she had the most curious dreams, and Snape's sudden interest in her fuelled more than one uncomfortably intimate dream with both her as this girl and as herself. She originally attributed the strange dreams to the stress of having her heart replaced. Her ordeal with cancer, her coping with a shorter life span, all of it could rob a person of peaceful dreams, but this was too different.

Hermione had an idea of why she kept dreaming about being this girl Lily Evans, but it was mad.

"PPPmmrrrrow?" Crookshanks meowed at her, looking up with expecting golden eyes.

"I'll feed you in a moment, baby," she cooed scratching behind his ears. He leaned in to her touch, purring. But it wasn't long before he jumped off the bed and gestured at her pack with a paw and yowled.

Hermione rolled her eyes and took out the damned orange bottle of pills. "I'll take them later." She lied sticking them back in her bag. Out of sight out of mind. I don't need them.

She got on her knees and dug two bowls out from under her bed along with a bag of catfood and a bottle of water. She filled the bowls with quickly and prayed her cat would be distracted by his favourite thing.

After both bowls were filled the golden eyes still glared at her, as if he would benefit from her taking those damn pills. He yowled once more, sitting impatiently, looking up as if to say he wouldn't eat if she didn't take her pills. She took the bottle and tilted it as if to get a pill out of the capped bottle. She then took a swig of the water bottle.

She sometimes swore her parents trained him as a medicine reminder. She'd believe they did after she refused to stay home and refused to use a pager that wouldn't work at Hogwarts anyway. She was sick of treatments, at this point it was the only thing making her ill. If the treatment is worse than the disease why did she need to bother? The thing her tumour grew on was gone. It wouldn't spread, they cut it out of her body. A relapse wasn't likely with her heart gone. The new heart gave her four years and goddamnit, she'd be healthy during them.

The other girls slept peacefully in their beds as she crept to the window at the far side of the room. She opened the arched window and craned her neck out the window to see the later stages of dawn. She wondered how she was not more tipsy from last night, but was glad she wasn't for the stunt she was about to try. She sat on the window ledge, her legs dangling miles above the ground. She looked down briefly and was quickly reminded of her life long fear of heights. She took in a deep breath as she gathered her courage.

Everything she had gone through since her coming to Hogwarts was horrific and amazing, a feat for a healthy person. A wave of shame washed over her as she thought about the selfish motives driving her along with the motives she was upfront about. She truly did want to see peace, she wanted to see generations of tolerance and help her friends survive, but she also saw it all as a way of beating her condition. When she relapsed at twelve she had decided she'd sooner Voldemort kill her than the cancer. If she could decide that at twelve, she could climb to the roof. The turret wasn't so steep she'd fall when she sat on the brim. If she got to it.

Better to fall than to see another relapse. She took in another deep breath and began to climb. Her weak hands gripped the ledge over the window, with shaking arms she miraculously pulled herself onto the lip of the roof. She sat with her knees to her chest and pulled her old silver flute from her belt and began to play a song from an old dream. She felt the sun's rays on her flesh as the sun fully risen. A crescendo of birds' song joined her high lullaby.

"Hermione?" a voice asked from behind her.

Hermione was relieved to see it was her lanky red-headed friend. She didn't know why she expected someone else, but was glad she was wrong.

"What are you doing up here?" Ron asked. "Last I checked you were horrified of heights."

"I still am, don't worry." She laughed.

Ron sat beside her and dangled his legs over the ledge and put an arm around her. "Why did you come up here anyway?"

"Figured I'd sooner watch the sunrise and play my flute where I couldn't be interrupted by my newly acquired shadow." Hermione laughed nervously when she realized who she expected.

"Someone as brilliant as you should be able to reason the room of requirement is a safer hide-out than the roof of Gryffindor Tower."

"I could also just stay inside the tower," she laughed again. "What brings you here?"

"I thought I was mad when I heard music," he shrugged. "You know Harry and I need to sate our curiosities."

Time passed silently between the two of them as they listened to the birds. Ron typically wasn;t the type to appreciate the silence, but he stayed there with his arm around her, she assumed he was afraid she'd fall. His blue eyes were contemplative as he stared at her. Hermione was the first to break the uncomfortable eye-lock.

"You're so reckless this year. " Ron stated looking down at the ground. "Does this have anything to do with Joshua?"

The weak muscle beating in Hermione's chest felt the same pain her own cancerous heart did at the sound of her dead lover's name. He died that summer, not even three weeks after his twin sister died of the same disease. Hermione couldn't believe both twins had brain tumours. Joshua and Violet were the two she stuck around at Jenny House since she was sent there one summer when she was twelve. She was sent there for a month every summer since . Originally, Hermione hated the idea of being sent to a camp for minors with terminal illnesses, but Violet and Joshua made it worth while.

Joshua was so wonderful, and so strong. He was improving before Violet died, every moment he spent with his arms around her, he looked better. He managed to gain weight, a gleam once dulled in his violet eyes had glowed brighter than any beacon when he looked at her. He bared his soul to her without a moment's hesitation, and cried with her over Violet's death. Joshua was the most beautiful person she ever held.

She felt like a traitor when she thought of her transgressions with the boy at the bar and Snape. Joshua wouldn't have sunk so low if it had been the other way around.

It should have been the other way around! Hermione bowed her head to hide her tears from Ron. I was going to die without a transplant and he was improving! They said remission wasn'tsomething unforeseeable! How could he have taken such a turn for the worse so quickly?

"Hermione?" Ron asked moving his hand from her.

"I think I'm going to be here for a while." Hermione said as she took her flute back out. "I had a rough night, and a lot to think about."

"Will you be able to get down without help?" Ron asked.

Hermione sighed. Getting up was difficult with her strength, getting down would be even riskier she imagined. Forethought had always been Hermione's thing, but since Joshua passed she couldn't make herself think about tomorrow. Cancer had robbed her of more than she was willing to admit. It took her best friend and her lover along with the turmoil her own disease put her through. She sent a silent apology to Joshua and Abigail for not being as strong as they were. The recklessness everyone seemed to point out had to end.

"I probably do need help," she sighed with her head still bowed.

Ron lowered himself into the window of the boys' dormitory and held out his arms for her to lower herself into. She struggled a tad, but he caught her as she slipped and pulled her into the window.

"Ron?" she whispered before he let go of her.

He acknowledged her as he set her feet. Blue eyes filled with concern.

"Do you think—I mean, Joshua..." Hermione bit her lip, she wasn't sure how to ask him. Maybe Ron wasn't the one to ask, but he was the only one she told about Joshua. She sighed and buried the question she already knew the answer to for a later date. "On second thought, it I can't talk about it."

Ron embraced her without a hesitation, she felt as though she could crumple under his touch, like she did so much lately. Her friends have become a crutch, and it was so unfair to them. They had so much to deal with, why did they need to be bothered by her ordeal? She couldn't burden them any longer.

"We don't need to," he sighed.

"I'd be careful, Ron," piped Seamus as he tied his shoe on the edge of his bed. "I'm sure Snape wouldn't be impressed to find you had his girlfriend out on the roof."

"I dare you to say that again, you asshole!" she shrieked drawing her wand from her robes.

"I see his temper's rubbed off on you. And I'm sure that's not the only thing."

"What the hell are you talking about, Seamus?" Harry joined the two playing the role of mediator. "The only thing Hermione feels for Snape is pity."

"She wouldn't be the first girl to shag someone out of pity," he scoffed.

"Hermione shag Snape?" Ron shuddered with disgust. "You must be mental!"

New tears found their way to Hermione's eyes and her hands shook with anger as she tried to speak softly. "I never pinned you for an asshole. Apparently I was wrong. I know you're angry about your mother's going through and you're taking it out on the only unhealthy person you know. I'm not angry with you, Seamus."

"And why would that be?" he asked fuming at the mention of his mother's heart condition.

"Because I pity you."

"Perhaps I'll get a pity-shag out of it someday," he said as if he could take away the pain inflicted by inflicting more upon her. "Won't I, sweetheart?"

"You're disgusting!" she cried forgetting her act. "I thought we were friends! Honestly! "

She left the boys' dormitory with Harry and Ron chasing after her. She was fuming and wished they wouldn't follow her. She couldn't bear to be around people at the moment, she needed to think. Too many things were happening at once. Being confronted by Seamus, snogging with Snape after being dragged back before she was about to sleep with some boy she didn't know, and she was wrestling with the fact she knew Joshua would be disappointed with everything she's done.

I didn't want to let you down, Joshua! I'm so, so sorry!

Harry and Ron kept trying to talk to her, but she rewarded there concern with silence as she remembered Joshua and Abigail. She was absolutely disgusted with herself, and the metamorphosis she would have to undergo wouldn't make her some iridescent, grateful butterfly. But she wouldn't be despicable.

As she played with her breakfast she tried to listen to Harry, Ginny and Ron discuss how awful Seamus had toward her. Ginny was shocked but maintained it was only mad to believe she reciprocated and that Snape had made it more than obvious he fancied her. Ron told her she was mad, Harry agreed there was something he felt toward her, but it shouldn't subject Hermione to the abuse.

She couldn't listen. Thoughts about Joshua had consumed her as she played with her food a memory came to her. A fond one that brought a bitter-sweet smile to her face.

"Hey," Joshua smiled with two bouquet of daisies, daffodils and violets in his arms."How're my favourite girls?"

Hermione tried not to cry when she looked over to Violet, her skin was much too pale, her bare hands were bony, her cheek bones under her closed violet eyes were too pronounced. A blue scarf covered her bald head, and she was bundled in pink blankets. The girl who once shared her insomnia slept all day.

"She's so tired all the time. The pain medication makes her loopy, and when she speaks she only talks about the past. I'm afraid she isn't too lucid." Tears began to fall as she turned to face him. "Oh, Joshua! I just wish—"

She was cut off with a passionate kiss, she felt his warmth as he embraced her. She was so relieved his skin was warm, that his arms felt firm, no words could describe how grateful she was it was her in the hospital bed and not him. Though she wished she could trade places with Violet. Any fool could see she was dying.

He crawled into bed with her and held her tightly with a strength a man being treated for cancer normally wouldn't have. Remission looked likely and Hermione endlessly prayed he would go into remission. She wished Violet would go into remission, but she was given a death sentence two days ago.

Hermione ran a hand through his soft flaxen hair as she looked into his violet eyes, so filled with love. They were filled with tears making them sparkle, but through his tears his pale lips smiled. He wanted his sister better, but he was glad to have her.

"I don't want to hear you say you'd take her place, Hermione," he held her closer to him and set the flowers on a side table. "You're going to be fine if a heart comes through. I don't want to get better if I have to go on without you. I love you."

Hermione wrapped her arms around him and tried in vain to keep from sobbing. "I love you, too.I don't know what I'd do if our positions were reversed. Lord knows I'm not that strong. If anything happened to you...if your tumour starts to grow again I'd—"

"Shhh,"he pressed a thin finger to her lips and moved his hand to dry her eyes. He smiled beautifully as he held her, he kissed her again softly. "We're both going to see the end of this summer. You'll part ways with me at the ferry terminal like you do every August, and we'll write novelesq letters to each other through out the year. In case you haven't noticed, I'm a hell of a lot better, and once your heart is replaced you will be too."

"I'm going to miss her..."Hermione sighed recognizing the enevitable.

"I will too. She's my twin, Hermione," he turned to look at Violet. "We share a soul, she's quite literally my other half. We've never done anything apart. We're just like the Gemini twins. I will never be the same, and not a second will pass I won't miss her. But we'll see eachother through it." Whimsy twinkled in his violet eyes as a soft smile came upon his lips."I almost think she planned this. Us, I mean. Helping eachother cope. She always kept trying to push us together, even after we were as close as any friends could be. She knew we would always see eachother through this."

The two sat a while in eachother's arms as they basked in eachother's grief and love. Violet must have seen their separation, everyone saw it. Hermione and Joshua sank, drowning in the waters of denial, but after Violet was hospitalized and put on heroin, the two had to face the music. Violet said she made peace with dying, but Hermione wasn't as ready as Joshua was to let go. And Joshua was only ready because they had always prepared to be separated by this illness.

They stayed in their loving embrace as they cried together. Hermione never before and hadn't since felt so warm and safe. Joshua was a fire in the dead February winter of her mind. No, he was a fragile flower whose seed was planted beneath the deep snow. He pushed through the tempest's litter and bloomed, the most beautiful and brightest flower ever to be seen. No winter could kill him. Hermione would let the cancer take her before it'd take him away the way it was about to take his sister.

"Joshua? Hermione?" a weak, cracked voice piped from the bed at the other side of the room, barely audible.

"Violet!" the two nearly cheered in unision. Hermione's heart skipped a beat, glad to see her awake.

Joshua helped Hermione up and they walked over to Violet's bed. Hermione used her IV as a cane so she wouldn't put too much wait on the recovering Joshua and was careful not to run over her oxygen tube. She looked at the fragile girl lying in her bed. She clasped her cold hand as she looked into her violet eyes. They were the only thing that still looked like her. Her lips were white, her fingers were dusky and her body was too thin and wiry. She was so cold all the time.

"I love you two," the chapped pale lips formed a smile that wasn't so alien to her. It was Violet's smile.

"We love you too, Vi," Joshua held their hands, his were the only giving off warmth. "How are you feeling?"

"I've never felt better," she joked, her violet eyes gleaming as she smiled. She turned her head weakly to Hermione. "You take good care of my boy?"

"I could never take care of him as well as you do, but I promise I'll do whatever I can to come close," Hermione damned her breaking voice betraying her breaking heart. "I love you both too much to let you down."

"Please don't cry for me, Hermione," she smiled and turned to her brother. "Same goes for you Joshua. I won't have my brother missing out on life because he's too busy grieving my death when he could be living. Enjoy your time together. We never know how much we have. And treat my bestfriend right. I know you two are perfect for eachother."

"No one will take better care of her." He promised.

Violet closed her eyes lightly and smiled with a peaceful continence. She looked like angel ready to receive her silver wings as her gripped on their hands weakened. Her breathing softened and a single tear rolled down her glowing cheek. She was glowing as the gold sun came shining through the window, creating a gold halo around her holy body. The was a sadness in her wise beauty, and a beauty in the sadness. She was fading away, but her love expanded like light from a beacon, illuminating the darkest corners and drawing them near. She touched their hearts and they touched hers. In all of the turmoil their illnesses gave them, they shared a great beauty that made it worth it.

Her soft voice whispered to Hermione, but her voice no longer sounded broken. "Sing me a lullabye, please"

Hermione kissed Violet's cold cheek and began to sing to her, she prayed the sound would cover the sound of her heart breaking.

"Seasons come and seasons pass
Time can seem so fragile as
Fragile like a looking glass
I know there must be something more constant than time
Cause at night when I sleep
I feel you all around me
I feel your eyes upon me
you closed your violet eyes"

The three of them basked in their shared love, holding on to one another as Violet Grey fell asleep for the last time