hey guys cris here. i missed da deadline for it :( so i cant show my teacher cristancia...anywayyyyyyy

HEATHER IS A SKANK SHE STOLE MY BOYFRIEND! welll we weren't dating just yet...

It couldn't be a more beautiful day on Hogwarts grounds. On the delightful Tuesday our epic tale continues, Cristancia Kisama was on a leisurely stroll around and about the Great Lake. She steered clear of the Whomping Willow tree, because who the fuck would want to go near that thing? With the third task in the Triwizard Tournament, the young heroine was becoming less and less sure of herself. It could be anything, sure she'd blown through the other tasks but the scent in the air and Cristancia's glistening orange eyes warned her of impending doom.

As Christancia walked about the yard, the crisp spring air on the cold side of the pillow kind of fresh, she found her way on the edge of the forbidden forest. A large yet thing tree with branches that resembled a weave, Cristancia climbed under the branches, to the trunk of the tree. Knots in the tree formed a beautiful sassy ass African persona. Suddenly, the face came to life. IT WAS MOTHER FUCKING TYRA BANKS BUT LIKE A TREE. lol

Tyra made an orgasmic squeaky tree noise. "Ohhhhhh Cristannnnicaaahhh. You have been so brave. You have fought so heard and your heart and virtues have been tested time and time again."

"tyra why are you a tree" I was upset with Tyra. Who did she think she was turning into a tree as she pleases? THERE IS NO ANTM WITHOUT TYRA.

Tyra seemed pissed and ignored my totally valid question. I guess trees are sensitive this time of year. New spring leaves is like sheading your tree

s uterine liner. And then growing it back. Poor trees. :( "Cristancia, You are one of five beautiful wizards in the triwizard tournament but I only have four golden leaves to give. . . do you understand what this means?"

I knew exactly what she meant, and I wasn't fucking happy about it! Cristancia responded meakly "There's not going to be a Cycle 18? Tyra how could you do this to me? We were ALL rooting for you!" GEDDIT CAUSE TREES HAVE ROOTS?"

"No you fucking dumbass it means you need to fucking kill one of the fucking wizards you're up againts genius!" Tyra SEETHED. " OR YOU WILL DIE TRYING."

***xxx***

I woke up to the cruel ugly face of Troy Bolton and a bucket of wet noodles. "Comm'on, Kisama! You gotta get your head in the GAME, broski."

Wow, he must have been watching me sleep. That's really cute. I actually just like. unfski. but basketball jerseys remind me of bad things like baby powder in my earlobes. "how did you get in my house, troy bolton?" I breathed heavy, his body overlapping with wet noodles and ragu sauce that I could just eat right off him...I WAS HUNGRY.

"Practice makes perfect, Cristancia" Troy Bolton said licking some of the delicious and utterly seductive red period like sauce from his pinkie toe. "I've been sent here by Master Banks."

I was utterly appalled! "YOU WORKED FOR TYRA BANKS AFTER ALL THIS TIME?" "Always," Troy responded. "BUT HOW?" I questioned.

Soon enough Troy Bolton grabbed what I assumed was a peepeer and whipped it up, and it also ripped off his skin! WTF, I thought. Standing beforte me was one tall glass of water, easily six foot nine, lanky and leanly muscular, long dark mahogany hair sweeping all the way down his, or her back. Troy's skin lay on the floor.

Troy flipped her hair back and tugged at her Victoria's Secret yoga pants and pulled at her thong. "My real name, honey boo boo child, is Helen. I am here to help you be the best that you can be!"Helen readjusted her push up and itched her cootchah.

There was ragu all over my floor and now there was this girl in my room who was not covered with noodles and Tyra Banks kept pressuring and I feel like she's going to put me in the bottom two and I just have a lot of emotions and well fuck look at that I got my period all over my sheets and I was wearing my new silky bloomers and my dad is obviously having an affair with Hermione Granger and I thought she was mine and my mom is just really ugly and I just have all these emotions and I can't escape them and I'm just like in a glass case of them you know/ The weight of the world is on my shoulders and I just want to eat carbs and be a mormon or whatever the guys who didnt wear shoes in the woods were and I just don't know why everyone relies On me I just/ Im just a girl.

god i needed some fucking chocolate

Later that evening...the third and final task was about to begin. Cristancia stood outside the entrance of the maze of bushes. If this had been a year earlier, Cristancia would be riding her broomstick around here. She imagined herself flying and doing tricks, while catching the snitch before Harry Potter could. The sound of trumpets brought Cristancia back to reality. The task was beginning.

Cristancia walked into the maze, the sound of branches being stepped on entered her ears. Before she could do anything, a large red light flew at her.

"PROTEGO!" She shouted, waving her beautiful wand and forming a reflective bubble around her. The bubble reflected the attack back at the figure. The charm wore off and Cristancia braced herself.

But nothing happened... Cristancia opened her purple eyes, which were full of fear, only to see...

A giant pot...which was above a stoking fire.

"W...What?" She asked herself. The figure laughed...revealing himself to be...Victor Crum!

He laughed, his laughter full of his foreign accent.

"Ohohoho..." He chuckled, and revealed Snape to be dangling from the sky, tied to a chain.

"Daddy!" Cristancia shouted and was about to run to Victor. But Victor laughed, and he pulled a lever and Snape plunged into the boiling Bulgarian rum.

"NOOOOOOO!" Cristancia cried out, her eyes flashing a sky blue to a deep blood red.

"Youuuu!" She shouted, fangs coming out of her mouth, "Youu...hurt...daddy!" She shouted in a demonic voice. She then ran at Victor, slicing him with her claws. Victor howled in pain, as blood ran out of his veins.

Cristancia cried once more, her body was then engulfed by beautiful flames.

"Solar Planet Power!" She shouted, glowing. Her usual robes transformed into a white sailor uniform, with a golden yellow shirt with blue stripes at the bottom.

"I am Sailor Sol!" She shouted, ripping out her scepter that had the sun on it.

"Apollo's Breath!" She screamed, waving the wand at Victor, which erupted a golden fire. The fire caught Victor and the giant pot. Crum's body burnt to the crisp, and his pot burst, pouring rum everywhere. Snape's deceased body floated out.

Cristancia changed back into her normal self and she ran to her father's lifeless corpse.

"No! Dad!" She shouted, holding his body.

Why would anyone do such a thing? Why would Victor do this to such a kind loving innocent man like her father figure!

"Dad? Dad? Dad? Dad?" She said over and over again. She carried his body with her and couldn't leave him. Soon, she found Fluer...who had been sexually assaulted to death by Cedric, Troy...I mean Helen's brother.

"Why? Did you really want to fuck her?" Cristancia asked in a fury. Cedric nodded and grinned, stroking his penis. Cristancia growled, and leaped at him, but Cedric dodged and the two wrestled towards the cup. They both grabbed it at the same time, transporting to a new place.

"A portkey?" Diggory said, realizing they were in a graveyard.

Cristancia was then grabbed by someone and pulled away.

"W-who's here!" She asked.

"Lumos." The voice said, revealing himself to be Harry Potter.

"You're late." He smiled.

"Late for what?" Cris asked.

"The Brawl Tournament of course!"

"Oh...for the tournament? I love Brawl!" Cristancia said.

"Me too!" Harry said, then they both ran hand in hand to Cedric.

"Geez Ced put some fucking clothes on." Harry said, handing him a robe from god only knows where.

"Fine...I like to feel a breeze between my knees." He proclaimed, but put it on.

Cristancia looked around, "Hm...I guess...it should work." She said, seeing a giant flat screen TV that was hoisted up by several grim looking gravestones.

Suddenly a bunch of people showed up...everyone was there! Mom, Dead dad, Hermione, Ron, Sonny, Draco, everyone from Hogwarts.

Cristancia gasped, "Are you all here to watch?" She asked.

"No we're here to play!" They all shouted back.

CLIFFHANGER LOL