The rain lasts the rest of the night and continues falling without letup into the following day. Sandor and Sansa stay in the bedrolls snuggled close to each other, dozing and recuperating from the mental and physical stresses of their escape. Sandor awakens periodically and even though he is exhausted and sore from battle, upon seeing Sansa in his arms he is unable of resisting making love to her again. He knows this respite for them will be very brief and he is determined to make the most of their time of solitude. Sandor is surprised to find that despite the frequency of their lovemaking he never fails to become aroused at the very sight of her and making love only fuels his desire. Sansa never refuses him; despite her own exhaustion she is as passionate as she was their first time together, much to Sandor's delight.
Every moment of their lovemaking serves as a form of healing to both Sandor and Sansa, every touch, every kiss soothing the scarred wounds afflicting each of them mentally as well as physically. Sandor's tender touch recalls to Sansa what it feels like to be touched with love again instead of having her body used as an outlet for a sadist's rage. In Sansa's lovemaking Sandor discovers what it is to be loved and desired by a woman out of pure affection and her tenderness calls to mind to his what it feels like to have family and someone who loves him. Sandor regrets how short this time will be for them. He only begrudgingly leaves her arms to find food, check on the horses or throw more kindling on the fire periodically. As he goes about these chores, his heart fills with dread knowing they will soon leave this place and along with it their new-found peace of mind.
Sansa's beauty blossoms in just the short time she has been with him in the forest. The ghastly paleness and drawn expression from living under constant fear has left her face and eyes. Gone are the dark circles under her eyes and the bruises on her body. Her cheeks are flushed pink with health and her skin has taken on a luminous quality. He is delighted to see her eyes sparkle with happiness when she speaks, and darken with desire when Sandor takes her in his arms. The little birds looks completely relaxed and happy for the first time Sandor can remember. The only other time he may have seen her at such peace was when he accompanied the Baratheons to Winterfell. I will never see anything as beautiful as her, he thinks to himself as he caresses her cheek, watching her sleep peacefully beside him.
Sansa awakens at his touch and when her eyes focus her face lights up with a broad smile spreading across her face. "Are you watching me sleep again?" she asks, pulling him close. "Maybe-what if I was, woman?" he mocks, pretended to frown as she reaches up to kiss him. "Is it still raining?" she yawns and stretches out, her long limbs exposed from under the furs. "Yes Little Bird," he answers, distracted by her beautiful body. "It's bound to stop soon. You know we'll need to be on our way then."
"I know, our honeymoon will be over," she says, her face darkening at the idea. Disentangling herself from Sandor, she goes over to the bucket to wash up. "Where should we go from here?" she asks as she scrubs her face. "I thought you would want to go to Riverrun or the Vale and look for your family. After that I could take you to Winterfell." Sandor suggests tentatively, noticing Sansa frowns at these options. "Will it be safe?"
"Hell no, little bird!" He barks out, his snarl of laughter echoing in the enclosure. "You forget that I just told the King and his Hand to fuck off and then I ran off and married the King's betrothed? I just spent the last few days having sex with her in the forest." Sandor chuckles low, deeply amused by her naiveté. "We'd probably have to go north of the Wall to be safe from those bloody Baratheon sons of bitches." North...of course! "My brother Jon is north of the Wall with the Night's Watch," Sansa comments to herself. We could go north to Jon! In her time in King's Landing she deeply regretted her behavior towards him. She always felt his presence at Winterfell was an affront to her mother, who never hid her resentment toward him and Sansa mistreated him accordingly out of misplaced loyalty to her mother. Once she experienced first-hand what it means to be a victim of circumstance, she felt ashamed she did not treated him with more kindness. Jon had always been so good to her and Arya-why did it take me so long to see it?
She thought of him often in his absence and had grown to appreciate him all the more since her family was lost to her. Sansa's face grows serious as she goes about getting dressed, deep in her thoughts. Taking out her green dress, she steps into it, still silent and brooding. Sandor notices her mood and can see a plan brewing in Sansa's eyes as he watches her. Sansa smiles at him brightly, leading him to get up and begin helping her with her lacings. "Seven hells I didn't mean to say we were going north of the Wall! I was just being a smart ass…I've been up there before. It makes Winterfell look like a bloody tropical paradise. They got some pretty fearsome creatures up there, too. You realize how fucking insane that would be?" Sandor says while yanking her laces tightly, causing Sansa to gasp audibly.
"But why not? It would be no more dangerous than going to Riverrun or the Vale-those areas are filled with Lannister bannermen! Please, Sandor, could we at least consider it?" she pleads; growling, he stares at the ground shaking his head. "What about your mother and brother? Or your aunt?" "I...I meant what I said about my family. I don't wish to upset you, so please don't be angry but I know for a certainty they will seek an annulment for our marriage." Sandor grits his teeth but holds his temper so she will continue. "What makes you so certain of this?"
"The night of the battle I overheard Lady Stokeworth gossiping to Cersei about Robb. One of their servants just arrived from House Frey with the news Robb broke his betrothal to the Frey's daughter and wed a girl named Jeyne in secret." She pauses trying to gauge his reaction. "This most certainly has ruined the Stark alliance with the Freys and it has brought utter shame to their family for her to be thrown over by the King of the North. Losing the support of House Frey and their bannermen will greatly damage his support in the war."
"Tell me how the fuck does that affect us?" Sandor asks, keeping his rage at a simmer with difficulty. He has only been with her a week and already is sick and tired of hearing about her duty to the Starks and their fucking war. "Well, as eldest daughter it would be considered my... duty to make amends by marrying another Frey in his stead," Sansa winces, waiting for the inevitable explosion as Sandor digests this information. "He's a low-life bloody coward if he expects his little sister to clean up his mess for him," Sandor curses and he clenches his fists. He takes several deep breaths and without a word picks up his sword and goes outside. Sansa hurries to the mouth of the enclosure and watches as Sandor hacks the nearest sapling to pieces all the while shouting and cursing at the top of his voice, oblivious to the pouring rain in his rage. She knew he would react badly and instead of trying to calm him she decides to wait out his anger by cleaning up their shelter.
About an hour later Sandor returns, soaked to the bone but considerably calmer. After slashing up several trees he worked off his remaining anger by cutting wood and caring for the horses. Sansa brings a blanket over to him and gently begins drying him off without a word. Quietly he allows her ministrations and breaks the tension by joking, "I should have brought a bar of soap out there, damn me!" Sansa laughs and hugs him close before bringing out dry clothes for him.
After he dresses she takes her brush out of the bag and underneath she discovers a mysterious jar of herbal tea Shae had given her. Maybe Sandor would like some, it might warm him up at least. Returning to Sandor she hands him the jar as she begins to carefully brush his long black hair, thinking it might sooth him. He relents to her gentle treatment with a sigh. "Do you know what kind of tea this is? I don't recognize the aroma. Shae left it for us. I guess she thought it might help keep us warm on chilly nights."
Sandor unscrews the jar and inhales the scent, then doubles over and laughs long and hard. Sansa asks, "What do you find so funny about tea?" which sends Sandor into another wave of laughter. When he regains his composure, he hands it back to Sansa. "You really are an innocent little bird, you know that? Your handmaiden is a smart one, she is. If I ever seen her again I'll reward her well for this. That's moon tea, Sansa." Moontea? He seems to think I should know what it was but I have never heard of moon tea before. Not wanting Sandor to think she is stupid, Sansa just smiles at him and turns away. Noticing her uncomfortable smile and questioning look, Sandor draws her close and pulls her down into his lap. "Sansa honey, don't you know what this is for? You drink this to prevent pregnancy. I'm surprised you missed learning about this little slice of life spending so much time with Cersei."
There is a tea that can prevent pregnancy? This is new and shocking information to Sansa. "Well my mother left before...well, before she explained a great deal of womanly things to me," she replies, her smile faltering. Wait a minute... "How do you know about this?" she demands, frowning at him. Sandor coughs, then says, "Little Bird, you know I was a grown man with needs long before I ever met you."
"Of course I know that, I'm not stupid," she grumbles, feeling herself growing angrier by the minute.
Obviously her mother didn't educate her on men's behavior, even with a bastard living at home with the family. Sandor recognizes he should tread lightly. "Well, I uh, I frequented Littlefinger's establishments and didn't want any unplanned little Cleganes running about, so..." he pauses to get his wording straight, noting the look on Sansa's face. Now I know how she feels, damn me. I guess it's only fair, he thinks with a chuckle; Sansa doesn't appreciate his laughter.
"You really mean you frequented Littlefinger's brothels?" she tries to sound calm but hears her voice raise as she spits out the last word.
Uh, oh...careful Dog. "Well yes, little bird...I never claimed to be a bloody septon, you know. It was either this or spill my seed on the ground and I usually was with...those kind of women too infrequently to be counted on for that." Sandor looks at her sheepishly and sees Sansa's mouth is agape and her face is flushed with anger. "I carried this with me and always made sure the...women I visited drank some before I left, just to make sure none of them showed up at the castle with some brat, claiming it was mine." Sansa grits her teeth, glaring at him. This is fast becoming a dangerous conversation.
"And why would they do that?" Sansa chokes out her question. What brothel woman in her right mind would admit in front of everyone at the castle she has a child resulting from what she does for a living?
"Well even though I took no vows, a member of the Kingsguard isn't supposed to have a...woman, any woman, or children. Some enterprising whore might have thought one day it would be a good way to squeeze a few extra stags out of me. I wasn't about to let anyone ruin the good thing I had going there." Irate, Sansa huffs at his words. "Where did you get this tea?" Sandor groans inwardly; it is unbelievable he is actually talking about whores with his little bird.
"Littlefinger, uh, he runs high-end places so he makes sure his girls always have some on hand. Knocked up whores are bad for his business and cost him money, you know."
Sansa glares at him. "Knocked up?" Sandor clears his throat. "I mean with child. I always got it from the maester in case one of them 'forgot' to drink it when I visited. That's where Cersei gets it too-she used to drink it by the gallon. I was sure you knew about this stuff."
Shae apparently has access to it, too. Sansa begins to understand why Tyrion brought Shae to the Red Keep. "Where do you think Shae as a servant would get it?" she asks, knowing Sandor will not lie to her. He gave her his knife to protect herself…did he buy Shae?
"I never fucked her, if that's where you're heading. Shae was a friend to you and I, remember? Not everyone grows up a Stark of Winterfell. She's only doing the best she can with her lot in life. Don't you go all highborn now and hold it against her, you hear?" Sandor growls at her, turning her chin to face him.
"No...I would never judge her so harshly." Sandor rolls his eyes at her. "Well at one time I would have but certainly not now," Sansa amends. "Do you think it would be wise for me to drink it?" She asks in a low voice, not looking at him.
"Yes...yes I do. Look at me Sansa. It's NOT because I don't want children with you little bird...believe that. There's nothing I want more," he paused as his emotions threatened to overtake him. Fuck me, when did I become such an emotion bastard? "But it's not safe for you or our pup if you are with child while we are on the run. Many women die traveling in that condition. I couldn't stand losing either of you. This way we can wait to have our pups once we're settled."
She smiles up at him, thinking how sweet he is to worry about her even when it comes to this intimate part of life. "Was...was being with those...women like being with me?" she asks, unable to stifle her curiosity about his past experiences. Sandor grins wickedly and barks out another laugh. "Little bird, I don't know what you must think those places are like but I can assure you it's nothing at all like being with you!" He takes in her serious expression and is struck by the feeling he shouldn't mock her innocence; it is part of what drew him to her, after all.
"Brothels are dirty, vile places, even the nicer ones Littlefinger runs. They reek of stale wine and vomit. Most men have to be dead drunk to even get the courage to visit those kind of women in the first place. It's just about satisfying an urge, not love, Sansa. I'm not sure if you can understand that," he continues more seriously.
"I'm not sure I want to. But I'm not mad at you Sandor. I'm not so stupid as to think I am the first and only for you, as you are for me...but it's nice to pretend I am sometimes." She smiles shyly as she looks up at him and in the moment he wishes she was the first woman for him, too. "I just can't help but be a little...jealous, when I hear you talk about those women from your past," she averts her eyes, her cheeks reddening with shame.
Sansa...my beautiful little bird, the only woman I've ever loved or made love to...she's jealous of those whores? He ponders this information in amazement, it is both shocking and yet powerfully arousing as well. She is so innocent and sweet it intoxicates him and he realizes his careless way of educating her about whores must come as a shocking revelation to her. He kisses her forehead and sighs. "Little bird, you are truly my first and only too, in many ways...ways that are much more important to me than some random fuck. You are my first love. You are the only woman I have ever loved, and the only woman I have ever made love to. No one mattered before you."
Caressing the contours of her face, he looks deep into her eyes as he speaks. "Those whores were just a fuck to me, that's all. They didn't mean any more to me than the wine I drank." Sandor kisses her forehead, the only expression he can hope will lessen the shock of his harsh choice of words. "You are the only woman who ever made me long for a family and the only woman I ever told I loved. I made you my wife for the Seven's sake! You may not be able to be my first woman but you most certainly are my last."
He takes her hand in his and kisses the ring he had placed on her finger and then her hand several times. Throwing her arms around his neck, Sansa kisses him soundly. "That makes me so happy to hear you say that, Sandor! I'll drink the tea so we can wait until our family is safe before the time comes for a baby." Sansa puts water on to boil and Sandor adds two pinches of the tea to the pot. After letting it steep for a quarter of an hour, Sansa cautiously takes a sip. "Oh my, this is terrible!" she wrinkles her nose in disgust, shivering, causing Sandor to laugh. The couple is interrupted by the sound of Stranger and Maiden stomping and neighing outside and from his view of the entrance Sandor sees several men fast approaching on horseback.